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Easter eve sorrows, 28Mar

Ok, so I can’t sleep, I thought this European time zone was my golden match…not tonight…So going to write this one out…then go back to sleep…

GOD is Good, His timeline, His clock, not mine…

 

Easter Eve Sorrows, 28Mar

I wondered where my sorrows would come at Easter… I mean it is Lent reflection time, right? But the over exuberance I have felt in life these past two months has lifted me on cloud nine times nine… yes worried I am not humbling enough before the Lord…bubbling but not humbling…

My sorrowful reflective moments actually have been there, just not publicized like my joys… but all have been about loss. My sorrow paramount at this current moment (at this late quiet hour), is that I am in the midst, tomorrow, of the fact that I will have both an amazing family reunion, held in my honor, and an amazing feeling loss of leaving this side of family from this first half of my trip…it’s too short of a time, life’s too short!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes, I know I am headed into an amazing second half of my trip with another set of relatives, but this set have been so wonderful and the ones responsible for golden repair to our two continent-separated families… Our 92yr old cousin, matriarch and strong woman, is truly an inspiration…this will possibly be my last time seeing her…as she is 92yrs… oh the joy of meeting, oh the sorrow of going… Yes, Jesus, I understand, you didn’t want to go either…I get that… but you had to… It was the plan all along, you didn’t like it, neither do I… I hang that sorrow up on your cross, my cross… hang it up, no choice….

The sorrow tonight was amplified in the stress that time moves too quickly… at least three generations and I will continue renewed relationships with renewed vigor… with Facebook posts, chats, and connections… the possibilities abound in our future meetings… I remember their laughter even before we part tomorrow. I feel their joy, connecting with me and each other, and I now feel their pains too… now I feel what I didn’t know before, about their losses too – their ups and downs, their sorrows now I place on my cross from their crosses… I get it Jesus, sorrows from others work on my cross too… I hang them up…

I guess we ask for peace of mind in life… I certainly did at Christmas, and it did come by February…. will I get it again at Easter? I don’t know… but if I know God, I am sure HE will send me all the help I need… in HIS time…. the friends, the family, the golden memories of the past, the joys of the present, and our hope for the future… HIS CROSS handed to me to pull me up… MY Cross, well that I will use to carry my past, present and future sorrows and my past, present and future joys…hang them out…a lever to lighten my life load…And use it as a walking stick now to continue my journey…

It’s Holy Week, catch up time, Lent condensed… God’s plan at hand… we get the most joyous Easter gift, everlasting joy – everlasting life, after the roughest time… So, hold onto to your crosses, and be ready… because at some point HE is going to say “Let’s go… Come with ME”.