New Balance, 08JAN
I knew when I opened a box of my new sneakers this week, that this piece was next to get written. See, I change my sneakers every 6 months for proper support with my orthotics and the wear and tear on my knees.. I buy them two pairs at a time, once a year and instead of 2 pairs of Nike’s this time, I decided to switch up the rotation and try one pair of New Balance, which I had pre-determinedly slated for wearing 6 months in the future – this week, the first week post Christmas…
Well, most all of my thoughts this week about God have been about finding balance. I’ve been talking to myself and others about rebalancing my spiritual mind. I’ve been praying to find balance and discernment between sharing Holy Spirit-given words and the gab from my blarney stone-generated words. I want to share so much about this awakening and yet not look foolish or blasphemous. I want to open when the time is right – to the right people. New Balance is allowing me to find my spiritual voice… the voice I knew I was lacking and that I longed for…a voice to faithfully share God’s Word with others, to share it in truth.
I’ve been really searching for balance for a whole month now…writing and writing, twenty pieces so far from Dec 10th to today Jan 8th, surprising myself – but that is how God chose to provide therapy to me. How did God know when I bought sneakers over six months ago, planning the rotation for this first week of the year, that I would be rotating in New Balance shoes to match a new spiritual balance? Hmmm…
So I opened that box three days ago and acknowledged that I had been rebalanced – I had a new balance and I now have to step forward… new sneakers and a new mindset. of course I had to take a little time to break them in first – both the sneakers and the mindset.
See, I am sure God put me on this ride – He didn’t rebalance me by taking off each of my tires, spinning them fast and readjusting the weights like on a car… But instead He put me on a Christmas merry-go-round ride at a steady pace… sure, when you reach over the edges you will feel that you are going faster… and now I find myself reaching out grabbing for the brass ring allot and being determined to keep going around again and again on this Christmas ride… that’s because I am still in Christmas – inside of Christmas – still acknowledging that Jesus was born in me in a new way this year… Someone at work even told me it was time to take the wreath off my car – I said “no, it’s still Christmas!” I still play Christmas music, I still have my tree up, I still haven’t finished my Christmas cards…No, I don’t want to get off this merry go round!
I have steadied myself now – finding a way to keep working on normal life projects and still ride the ride (you can do things on a merry-go-round as it can be a very smooth ride but yes, there are ups and downs). Hopefully you choose the right horse – sometimes you’re up – sometimes you’re down – but none the less I keep riding and writing…
I have steadied myself on this merry go round by playing certain music – music has always been a therapy to me – I’ve been playing the same selection of contemporary Christmas carols, plus some philosophical and spiritual music from Sting (Last Ship, Soul Cages, Winters Tale) and a few regular music pieces that speak to me. I’ve been listening to steadying Bible sermons too. I’m trying to keep this ride going. My favorite lines in the song, “Come to the Cradle” are: “Come and find peace” and “So you are chosen and called out for prayer…” which is exactly what I had to do this past month, this past week because my head was really spinning too fast – I was scared by this intensity (still am a bit scared) and yes, calling out for prayer helped immensely – I find it has settled me down enough to keep riding and writing.
This week also was Epiphany, and I also called out to two of my most wisemen friends by email… two well-educated, thinker-er, twenty year plus mentors from my past… whom I know have balanced their facts with their faith. Both have been very generous to me with their time and their counseling… most importantly they listened so that I could talk it out and settle the dust in my brain… So it felt so right to reach out to them again, and yes again they helped me reaffirm this new balance of mine. I am so blessed to find the right people at the right time… dust is settling more now. I am getting ready to move forward.
I’ll probably get off this merry go round at some point… you know that I’ve got a few roller coasters to ride this year too… but I know I will return to this chosen Christmas merry go round… why not? It has been the best ride of my life!