Back in the Boat, 02SEP – #254 ***



Back in the Boat, 02SEP

This amazing thing happened to me yesterday after stressing about a really bad situation on and off for a couple of weeks… I was stressing awful… Yikes my stress thru the roof that instant!!!! But WOW how Jesus calmed it… I won’t tell you what those stressors were, but this was my text to a few folks immediately after my heart was released from that pain….. The stressors didn’t completely go away, but giving it to God made all the difference…

“Wow, I was just feeling so stressed this morning and it caused a real physical heart heaviness feeling, but it’s now GONE due to a refocus on Jesus…  stress pen chewing, gum, and ate my lunch early, no help, stressing my heart SO heavy… And so a friend came into my office, she is a good Christian friend and I was able to explain to her this tremendous stress feeling (and what caused it)… And then I explained that often when I was feeling under a storm I would ask Jesus to come back into my boat… when I (and Peter) reached a hand up out of the water while sinking, that it was what we need to do to re-focus….  while telling her this, I actually motioned reaching up for Jesus with my hand and grabbing HIS… And I am not kidding, my heart felt such relief!!!!! It was amazing, instant relief, the heaviness gone!!!!! WOW!!!!! Good God!!!!  Thank you Jesus for this peace!!! “

I told another friend about this amazing release feeling and she said “Welcome back into the boat!”



I am the Mustard of Life, 30Aug – #253 **



I am the Mustard of Life, 30Aug

Mustard, it saved me yesterday. Awesome to get to the amusement park with my son for his birthday, a friend gave us free day passes, we gave up season passes this year because my kids are old for this tiny kid park, but it’s always fun for us big kids too.

Spinning rides, I can’t do them anymore, a bell went off when I hit a certain age, and my system just can’t…. He wanted to ride all the new rides, he directed the day, he was in charge of where we went in the park, he beamed with pride… He is a good soul and so thoughtful, but needed me and wanted me by his side on those spinning rides, how could I disappoint… I did ok, but not good…. Fun yes but spinning… Pray Jesus to come into the spinning teacup like that boat on the Galilee, nope Jesus was already there, spinning too… My head kept spinning, the ride was done, still spinning… How could I let this ruin the fun day planned? That stressed me out… How could I recover…

Mustard… Mustard saved me (that and sitting still for five minutes)… I could finally stand and walk again… my son wanted popcorn and me too, I wanted food, but I had left my packed healthy lunch in the car… I was hungry, stress hungry, not real hunger… Mustard…. Free packets at the end of the counter, free in this charge you “an arm and a leg” for just popcorn kinda place. My head and stomach said food as your addiction of choice for stress relief, but my eyes are open now and I KNEW this was all stress, I had breakfast and in the past I have fasted with no problem on many days, this was STRESS…. Spinning stress… Jesus holding but not fixing what I desired as a quick fix… Mustard, I have used this awesome spice when I started changing my eating habits, I crave salty, spicy, and wow flavors… mustard, horseradish, vinegar, shock your system kinda spice…. Snap, the second the mustard hit my mouth I was cured…WOW… My brain and body snapped back to the scene of a happy day… A peaceful oasis of me returned within thousands of screaming kids, scrambling grandparents… and parents getting the most bang out of their buck, being big kids…. that’s the fun in this park, we are free to be little and rambunctious again….
Mustard, mmm…. It zapped me like one of those automatic defibrillators… I could continue, onto the water rides, day saved… Son happy…

Jesus, I should not have expected you to fix my spinning stress, I inflicted it myself and I certainly didn’t detach from you… I was balancing life this day (actually every day)…. The body has limits you know, but our free will doesn’t… and free will puts us at dangerous spots… Inflicting both injury and inappropriate quick fixes if our boundary lines are left in the dust and we go too far… Confuses our focus, spins our heads…

Can we control our free will? We have to! Test it sure, I got thru the rides, happy boy to have mom by his side… But sanity prevailed and limited the actions that would have thrown me over the edge… Mustard snapped me back, I focused on moving forward… I shouldn’t have had to use it, but it substituted with a spicy kick… It’s not a bad thing, and I was grateful, it’s just mustard… it’s good to find safe ways to get yourself into gear… better to find safe ones than risky ones… And I mean this for not just amusement rides, I mean this for big people problems… If you put yourself at risk, you may not see the best way back to the path…

Thus the connection of mustard to Jesus… Snapping back into reality, into the feeling of peace, or at the minimum finding the will to move forward, to move on…. All these are necessary when you stray… All these are things to reposition your mind, and to focus on the necessary… Jesus could be the spicy mustard you need, “I am the mustard of life”…. Jesus could shine a light into your stress or even your shame or even your vain… whether minute or major; He could be there for you because actually HE never left… He carries you, heavy burdens and all, perhaps if you shed some of those burdens the trek will be easier… Perhaps you will even go so far as to find internal joy, true joy…

Spinning heads or not, Jesus is along for the ride. If you are happy, HE is there; if you are sad, HE is there. If you are in the pits, HE has an amazing light source to shine you out… He didn’t judge, he doesn’t judge, but he wants YOU along for HIS ride… So DON’T give up on HIM, HE isn’t giving up on YOU, EVER!

Cling – Aug – #252


252 Cling, Aug

I know they say Subaru love is a cult, I think it’s a way of life…. But, it’s God’s car to me, my true tabernacle that drove me directly into Jesus’s loving arms, so I love it, and I show it… The car, the moon, the stars, and this weight loss (20lbs since May, 42lbs total) – they all make me LOVE and appreciate God’s good works in me and around me even more…. So I don’t know if I am too vain, too boastful, or just too EXCITED about God… I wonder this, I also wonder if I spend too much time thinking about God… I don’t know about a lot of things… I still pray for discernment… Constantly… It’s just where I am right now…who knows where I will be in the future… NO WAY would I have believed I would be at this state nearly eight months ago!

But YES, sure, I cling to my Subaru and to Christmas and Easter and to music therapy (both regular and praise band music), and to the hundreds of people who bless me and witness Jesus to me… I cling so that I DON’T get off this “Christmas merry go round”… I cling because I really DON’T want to lose this blessed cloud nine feeling… I really don’t think I will, and HIS guiding hand wouldn’t let me so how dare I doubt HIS power!!!… Daily joy buffers this latest feeling of an avalanche of life tasks…. at work and home, financial crushes, stress of starting new counseling – opening old wounds…. But of course it’s expected that I am weary, not a surprise, this past month is always the pinnacle of summer busyness in my year… within one month I had three family birthdays to prep, VBS, scout trips, full time work at full steam and no time for vacation, and back to school on top of my normal life running a household… Christmas time is calming peace in comparison!! Oh how I could use a snowday right now) and then these new blindside devil attacks layered and interlaced within good things… Which really are like God peaking into the dark corners and urging me to cleanse even more of the crap out of my life… Like I wrote previously, the devil is the toilet paper that stuck to Jesus’s foot when he walked into my heart…. I will sink and rise again holding Jesus’s hand…

And yet thru all my “perceived” trouble (which is perceived and not any trouble for God to handle), I know it could be much much worse and I am truly blessed, and I have God throwing me miracles and messages constantly…. I praise God above my Subaru (and in it and on it, LOL I had to take this pic, fun)…

Above all I praise…

I praise God allowing me to absorb the good works that HE laid at my feet, I praise God for giving me a “vehicle” in my situation, smile, words, and now improved health…  my living example that shows witness to others about God’s good works (and his golden repair)…

I praise God to be used as HIS tool, and truly truly I praise God for letting me witness into the secrets of eternal joy…. And then letting me witness it back out to ALL….
God is MY “ALL in ALL”

Crossing Lines, 23Aug – #251 **



This essay is long, but another of a series of God teaching events for me… God will repeat scenarios until we learn what He is trying to teach us. I appreciate this lesson because it helped clear away the jetsam in my brain… Just know that the Holy Spirit blows the dust from your goggles so you may see… Thanks God!

Crossing Lines, 23Aug

Ah, sitting in the airport… Uses up three precious hours of your life before your flight even leaves….
But when you need time to decompress in life, like I did this week, it’s not so bad, actually reflection time well spent…

So, hour to kill, or maybe hour to live? It is air travel you know, you just never know… No worries… better than driving…
There’s Ipads at every seat? cool… a virtual social networking tool to kill the time that you could be using instead to network with the other real people… but here’s all of us isolating people punching away at our iPads…
The server comes up from the bar… “You asked for help?” Three of us looked puzzled… Oh! the one gentleman had hit the request for help, couldn’t figure out how to order a beer… Apparently he already had one too many! He said this is the most expensive beer he had ever bought. I said “well you don’t need it, maybe you should’ve just used your money going to the duty free and we could have all cracked open some liquid refreshment…”  Laughs all around… that started the chit chat, small talk you know that you get to enjoy in public places, grocery store lines, the dentist office… killing the time… this isolating Ipads? nope, don’t need those anymore! we had fallen into one of those delightful fun open conversations, I will call it “Words with Strangers”…

This buzzed gentleman asked me and the other man next to me if he and I were a couple, we both say no. He asked why we were each traveling; we both said for business… the gentleman to my left works for a security company and told us about the terrible food at his conference. I tell them about the great food at my conference, especially at the gala party – the oysters.. I tell them about the exciting science that I have been learning, about its uses to help the world … Our buzzed gentleman stops me mid-sentence and exclaims to security guy: “Wow, she’s pretty AND smart!” Blush… Security guy put his hand to his head in embarrassment. Buzz says, “well, she is pretty isn’t she?”. Security nods, says “yes she is”, but cringes, embarrassed for me… I start to say “it’s ok, I just lost 35 lbs, it’s nice to hear that, it’s a novelty for me, I have been working out at home, at church…”… I can’t finish my sentence because Buzz interrupts with: “Wow, she is pretty AND smart AND goes to church!!” Ha, smiles…. “Well your smile just lights up your face, you glow” (no I am not making this up, he really said that, like SO many have since my awakening last December). I don’t recount this to boast but to say that yes, Jesus changes your whole life and even how you look. Jesus makes you shine.

I can’t help but smile, it was sweetly said, in an inebriated cute way, nothing more… no harm yet… but ok, I REALLY want to get back to my science talk!!

And then we change the subject… Talking about food and then alcohol again… Security guy told us of his boss throwing a fabulous party.. I told them about the Canadian whiskey mixed with maple syrup and lime juice and cherry biters at our party, delicious!  Buzz says, “I bet you enjoyed them, huh?”
“Sure I did, yum!” Leading me, he then says “I think you enjoyed quite a few of them, I bet you really REALLY enjoyed them, huh?”…

SCREECH!!!!!! Oops….

There my friends is where I felt the tipping point of the conversation… I SCREECHED it to a halt… Bells and whistles, flashing lights, you name it… Signals a blaring, stop the train! Stop this conversation before it goes too far! …

There my friends is where the boundary lines needs to be drawn and held… Buzz can’t draw the line, his brain/mouth filter dissolved with his last pounded beer. I was not offended, just aware… He was leading a conversation down the wrong path for a married woman, for any unknown woman…. a conversation that is not proper often occurs because someone has blurred the lines… He was intrigued about my partying more than my science that was for sure… So, I had to step back and not cross that line. He erased his line, BUT I still saw my line, and I held it… Luckily, I also had “security” next to me. My eyes are open, my sober ears alerted my sensibility which alerted my mouth to correct my worded path. I halted the conversation with… “oh no, they only let us have two drink tickets, I didn’t have too much fun.”… Whew… Saved the line… “Security” then changed the subject for me.

A famous weatherman slipped into a trap a few years ago… some eastern European mafia girls plied him with alcohol, drugged him and ran up his credit accounts like crazy $100,000 over a weekend. Devious! Devil’s play…

Oh how in a devious situation someone could have taken this Buzz guy for a ride, emotionally at least… Could have blurred the line on purpose, like those eastern mafia girls, for financial gain…. Both parties could have given the devil delight in the banter. But it’s not right, not righteous, not even smart…

Yes, sometimes you feel the devil pull you across lines sometimes… And if there is a willing partner or player whose own devil is working hard at pulling them past their lines, well you can get that “snowball effect”…  or maybe call it dancing with fire… Either way, you are apt to get burned….  A Genesis song, Mad Man Moon, speaks to this… “And took off in the air. I flew to places which the clouds never see, Too close to the deserts of sand”. The lyricist never gets to come back from the desert sadly – BUT God would take you back in a heartbeat, God would forgive if you truly repented…

Solomon speaks to this reality, urging God to hear the repenting cries:
1Kings 8:46 “When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin—and you become angry with them and give them over to their enemies, who take them captive to their own lands, far away or near; 47 and if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their captors and say, ‘We have sinned, we have done wrong, we have acted wickedly’; 48 and if they turn back to you with all their heart and soul in the land of their enemies who took them ……  49 then from heaven, your dwelling place, hear their prayer and their plea, and uphold their cause. 50 And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their captors to show them mercy…”

A book my pastor gave me was my flight companion… I read it in the spring, and am re-reading it now. Guess what? I missed a chapter… read that as I sat safely on my flight, away from Buzz who probably missed his flight… “Security” was on my plane though, good deal…

Guess what? This book chapter four fits EXACTLY this scenario… Figures… Yeah I shouldn’t be surprised how God works in my life, always tossing me the right answer, the corrective learning situation… and then backs it up with text from the Bible!! So in Chapter 4 of Rob Fuquay’s book “The God We Can Know” he writes about knowing God’s care… Jesus is the gatekeeper for the sheep. the gate represents security. Sheep would go out through the gate for enjoyment – the gate led to joy. The sheep came in through the gate at night at the dark times for security.  Who was in charge of the gate? Jesus.
Jesus, the shepherd, our shepherd, our LIGHT of the world, would let the sheep go in and out (just like us)… but when it’s time to stay in for security at night, the shepherd sleeps against the door to keep the sheep in his fold. Jesus is our gatekeeper… The scripture is John 10: 7-9 “So again Jesus said to them: ‘Very truly I tell you I am the gate for the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and bandits; but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate. Whoever enters by me will be saved, and will come in and go out and find pasture’.”

So yes, as we, HIS sheep, look for Jesus as our gatekeeper. We are really supposed to be looking for that gate, that boundary line. Jesus will hold us in with His body, hold us as one of His own. And if we are lost, Jesus will still come find us and shine HIS LIGHT on our dark path.  His real shepherd flesh and blood saves us…  So that we are not deviled away by our enemies or by ourselves. Yes God will take us back, but it’s safer and it’s less painful if we stay away from crossing the line in the first place.

Will I approach that line again? Will you? Another day another adventure… I even saw that line drawn and redrawn and approached that very evening… a train car with six 20-year olds quite punchy from a night of rabble-rousing at the ballpark… Thank God, I was a fan of their team, slid right into their train car and conversation… One dude starts at me for sitting there and we banter back and forth, in fun… His foul mouth at the other guys (not me) wakes up the sensibility of another toasted 20 yr old who said, “Hey, watch your mouth, there’s a lady here”… See, there are people who know the lines of etiquette… There are lines being upheld every day.

So you better believe that we will all approach those boundary lines again and again! And I won’t be afraid to step out in fear of someone crossing that line. I won’t let fear rule me. I mention this story to a church friend and he motions like a baseball player drawing a line in the dirt with his foot. Yeah draw your own line, hold your line, and get ready for the next pitch.

I was about to finish this essay in my head as I put my son to bed.  He told me how he told his friend that night that God does not want us to be afraid. Truth from the mouths of babes, he is a spirit-led boy! He’s right, God does not want us to be afraid… God wants us to prepare ourselves for life… God says “I AM with you always”!!!

I pray God’s grace always to keep my and everyone’s eyes open, and our boundary lines clear… I pray for others seeing the LIGHT of Jesus that God sheds on my lines so I may plainly see them. Thanks God for security, for Jesus, and for the opportunity to step up to the plate. Batter up!


Timing – Unfailing Love, Aug – #250 **



Timing – Unfailing Love – email to praise band folks

Of course the verse of the day pertains today to the last praise song that I heard in church…. Psalm 94:18… Unfailing Love…. since I missed most of the service I loved singing that extra song, “Unfailing Love” at the end with them today, because I needed it, because God truly blesses me with unfailing LOVE, consolation and joy…

I was way late because the friend I was helping at church had fallen, I helped her and then took my son home, checked on someone who was not feeling well, then hauled back to church in a rush to get some organized praise in… Timing is everything with God. I was coming up the road a florist truck was swerving all over the road, really glad he didn’t hit me… I mean left lane, right lane rumble strips, and back, maybe texting? I don’t know… (I’m not making this up, I REALLY seem to get these crazy drivers allot)…. I started honking my horn at him of course (a Christmas tune this time)… I pulled him next to him at the light and rolled down my window… he almost hit the car in front of him but got it in park and I yelled “what’s wrong? you’re swerving all over the place, are you ok?” and he said “I know i know I’m sorry, I’m just trying to get somewhere”… he looked so out of it, so dazed and confused, I pray he stay awake as he turned onto the main highway… Thanks GOD for once again putting me in the right place at the right time.

Crazy day, crazy week, crazy year… but God is the great consoler… I was happy to get in my praise out in the unfailing love song…. Thanks for your music… it reached me when I needed it today, it always does…God’s unfailing love… The right place at the right time…


From: “Bible Gateway”

Psalm 94:18-19 NIV

When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.

Pray Outside the Box, 22Aug – #249 **



Pray Outside the Box, 22Aug

Beautiful flowers from the church for a beautiful woman… Her services were beautifully heartfelt. I pray for the family, her mother father and sister, she was only 37 years old and died of natural causes. Pastor’s sharing was such a comfort to the family…. even though I barely knew her, she was a faithful Facebook Church friend… She always encouraged me in messages when I knew she herself did not have an easy life… Even in her situations she always found the energy to love others… truly embraced being a greater member of the church outside the building and into the Ethernet… after the services her mom brought her ashes over to a friend and me and asked us to pray over them  … I am reminded of the phrase to think outside the box… well we all need to love outside the box. Love for those we know and love especially for those we don’t know, but who need our prayers greatly. I prayed holding the box but I know that God has already taken her into His loving arms… Jesus was waiting there to pull her into heaven where she was able to finally find PEACE from a trying array of situations. But through it all she always gave love and she always had love, especially with her immediate family. I prayed to share love and comfort outside the box and back to this faithful family … Being able to pray out loud in SPIRIT and TRUTH is a new gift God has given me and I am honored and humbled to share prayers when called upon… it’s a blessing to have God help us LOVE outside the box… RIP, sweet child of God… eternally you are loved…


God’s Eternal LOVE, 21Aug – #248 **



God’s Eternal LOVE, 21Aug

I look back a year ago, at a photo of me at the state fair posing with a Coke can personalized with my name on it… “A Coke and a smile.” I look happy, I was happy, I am happy… I was and am always enjoying life. It’s genetics, it’s upbringing, it’s God’s gift to me. It’s a conscious decision to have an underlying contentment – or it is conscious to want to dig down deep past the sorrows of humanness and look for the deep joy.

If I am unhappy and stressed, then there’s something I need to learn from it. If I learn it, I might be able to change it. If I can’t change it, I will have to change me. I will change to be happy. Even more happy means I chose to continue to change. Both because I want to change into a joy state and because God wants us there.

The Coke photo was with my daughter, happy in the moment…. But waiting as we took the photo was her unhappy brother who wanted to go to somewhere else at the fair… When we went to his event, my daughter was then unhappy… That’s life, sometimes happy in the moment, sometimes not.

Life is here and now, life is for living, life is for loving, life is short. Eternity is not.

Eternity is not the “here and now”. But how you deal with the “here and now” will teach you what you need to prepare for eternity. Life brings unknown and known challenges, sometimes blindsides, sometimes clear as day hurdles. Life is for living past those challenges. Life is short. Eternity is not.

Life brings surprise and expected joys. Life is opportunity knocking. Life is for loving beyond those temporary joys, preparing for eternity. Life is short. Eternity is not.

Life is what you make of it. Life is short. Live in the moment, but love for eternity.
Eternity is an unknown, promised by a known.
Eternity is promised by one with eternal LOVE.
Eternity is a gift from God.

Therefore life itself is a gift… EVERYDAY a new gift from God to use life to prepare for eternity. Life is short. Love life and live it fully. Love life for eternity sake.

Your body is temporary, so use your mind to make it a temple for your spirit. Your spirit will live for eternity. I learned the secret to eternity – t was no secret – it was LOVE.

Of all the commandments, the greatest is LOVE. Love isn’t just a state, love is a commandment. Love completely, love fully, love without conditions, love forever and forever you will be loved.

God is LOVE.

LOVE is eternal life with God.

I AM, book review, chptr 1, 19 AUG – #247



Here’s the first writing from that awesome book Pastor gave me, I so appreciate the “Subaru in Christ” inscription he wrote…. No WiFi at night and plane rides great for book reading…And writing… God knows I need him more than ever…. Reminds me to stay vined…

I AM, book review, chptr 1, 19 AUG

Jesus re-vined me and entered my heart after I dropped my walls and feed the baby Jesus within me. He was already there in spirit guiding me, but now he became real in truth. Jesus became truly GOD to me. If I became Jesus-like then I worship God in SPIRIT and TRUTH, because we are intertwined, inter-vined.

I AM…. This book I read and am rereading I want to write about each chapter…. So what does I AM mean?

For Jesus it meant I AM God.

For God it means I AM, I EXIST, I AM ALL IN ALL, I AM Grace and grace is sufficient for you, don’t complicate it, don’t predict, don’t worry.

For me?
It means I AM God’s being here on earth… I AM made of God and therefore God’s CHILD. I am to be Jesus’s mini-me. No I am NOT God but I AM made from God, and connected as a branch on HIS vine, connected as part of His body in the church. If the whole of ME dies, the He will flow thru my whole being, be my whole energy, I AM IN HIS SPIRIT, I AM IN HIS TRUTH.

I AM a CHILD OF GOD growing everyday.. I AM growing EVERYDAY into A GODCHILD. I AM everyday growing GOD.

The ME is dying and GOD is growing….
“ME ME ME, play with ME, God”, children will say…
I am your child, so let’s be together, forever. Let me play in YOUR garden. I will swing off YOUR vine. I will play as YOUR child, I will learn YOUR voice.
I AM fine on the vine.

I AM going to be with YOU forever GOD



Walking on water with Jesus, Wash that Devil Away, 19AUG – #246 **



This thought of focusing on Jesus while walking with him really really
comforts me right now – actually had a wave of comfort flow over me
this morning when I thought this and wrote this – truly we have a powerful God.

Walking on water with Jesus, Wash that Devil Away, 19AUG
When I let Jesus walk into my heart, that devil walked in too because
he was like a piece of toilet paper that was stuck to Jesus’s foot.
Now I envisioned myself as Peter with Jesus holding my hand on the water…
I will walk with Jesus on the water and trust him 100%. We will stand
there, eyes locked, and start walking  – and yes that devil will
dissolve away… and i will have peace…

Be Snow and Know I AM God, 17AUG – #245



I had been in a (private) storm for a few days –so this was powerful for me to see God’s comforting presence tonight… I am fine – but know I am in a God-gifted retreat

Be Snow and Know I AM God, 17AUG

Well, yeah…. God is God… I know this because He knows me…Reminds me EVERYDAY…

I needed a retreat – I didn’t know I needed it so badly  because the things to retreat from happened AFTER I booked this trip – to is a science conference in Canada – the Great White North – in August – but there is no air-conditioning in the dorm room I am staying in – yet it’s ok – sure it’s hot, humid and sticky but this is how I grew up – this is not terrible, this is summer and I am grateful for it – it’s just that I could have had a nice a/c room with wifi – but I booked this last minute and wanted to be on campus and “I get what I get and I won’t throw a fit” because it’s an amazing series of events that got me here in the first place…

Conference starts tomorrow morning – that area is all A/C and wifi-ed – it will be a productive week and science-rich… therapeutic… it will of course be a God-rich week too – alone time – very therapeutic – retreat for 5 days – no kids – no work folks – no phone – no texting – no problem…

But it’s hot – sticky – I needed to process tonight like I did ALL DAY on the train, the airport the plane – I needed to reflect – I needed to ponder life and what has been happening (which I won’t detail) – but please know I am in a deep reflection right now – a devilish pull to top all other things going on this week –  I am fighting – I am relying on God to fight for me but I am fighting too – picking up my words to fight the good fight – and God gave me a week’s retreat away to reflect – thanks God –

But it’s hot – and God gave me a place to wander and rest comfortably on this hot sticky night – three minutes from my doorstep – a place to sit – a place to think – a place to work (library closes at 7 but this place is open until 11 and it is UBER A/C-ed) – AND it’s a place that has SNOW – yes – it’s Canada folks – yes I wondered if there would be snow…  snow in August…. Yes there is SNOW… and not just because I brought a fabric snowball with me too…

Yeah – Be Snow and Know that I am God – yeah, it’s a hockey rink – filled with cool ice and there is SNOW – well at least snow-like ice from the zamboni  – yeah that’s snow-enough for me in God’s summer. Yeah it’s God’s hand at work alright – God’s gentle touch in my life – yeah it’s GOD’S SNOW to comfort me – thanks God – I needed this…I needed snow… I needed You…

I need You God today and always… You are in control – You will give me retreat and rest – You remind me to stay humble and lovingly fear your mighty power…

Be Snow and Know that I am God

245 snow.PNG


Covering your face? Or Radiate?, 17Aug – #244



Covering your face? Or Radiate?, 17Aug

Moses saw God.
Moses’ face shined, his face was radiant when he brought down the Ten Commandments… His face scared people… He covered it so the people would not be afraid…

So what do I do with my face?  People tell me I radiate, kinda like the glow when you are pregnant… physically I am not pregnant but spiritually I certainly feel that way… That plus my words have certainly scared some people… Imagine how I feel!!! God will continue to shine on your face everything that is in your heart… How you feel will show on your face… Trust me…

But do I cover my face? Or let it shine? I am pretty sure God wants me to show HIS peaceful blessings and joy. Maybe God does want me to scare the devil out of some people? If God’s will is to use me for HIS purposes then how can I not show my face? How can I not use my whole self to proclaim HIM and HIS works? I scratch my head sometimes and pray for discernment. Lord how do I use myself for Thy will?

I doubt I am supposed to hide my face… I think people like to see resilience and radiance and reaffirmation… I caught my own face in a mirror yesterday, scared myself with the glow then smiled…. Yeah don’t put your light under a basket (Matthew 5:15). Yeah this God is a powerful God!

BUT tell the people why you radiate! Don’t let them think it is from anything else but God Himself! (because they will, trust me) When praised remind them you are just using your God-given skills.

Simple truth shouldn’t scare the people, today’s people have likely heard about God… “In God we trust” is on our money and surely they have heard about money…  so tell them the truth, the truth is that you are nothing without God! The truth is God and God is truth.

So one should hide scriptures in one’s heart (Psalm 119) but I think it’s ok to show God on your face… Shine on!

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 ESV)

Proverbs 11:30
The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life,
And he who wins souls is wise
Psalm 119: 11
I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
The Radiant Face of Moses
29 When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the covenant law in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord. 30 When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, his face was radiant, and they were afraid to come near him. 31 But Moses called to them; so Aaron and all the leaders of the community came back to him, and he spoke to them. 32 Afterward all the Israelites came near him, and he gave them all the commands the Lord had given him on Mount Sinai.

33 When Moses finished speaking to them, he put a veil over his face. 34 But whenever he entered the Lord’s presence to speak with him, he removed the veil until he came out. And when he came out and told the Israelites what he had been commanded, 35 they saw that his face was radiant. Then Moses would put the veil back over his face until he went in to speak with the Lord.


PS… Yes, googling to find the scripture about hiding scriptures I came across my favorite poet : “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.”-Maya Angelou  And Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Devil Stand Down, God Help me Chase Those Birds Away, Kindle and Rekindle, 16Aug – #243



Devil Stand Down, God Help me Chase Those Birds Away, Kindle and Rekindle,16Aug

I really wanted to  write this piece in a strong and forceful way because I’m in the middle of some tough devil chasing…. But when I can feel myself forcing the writing I know it’s not Spirit led answers from God… my pieces usually take half an hour and I sat at this piece for 2 plus hours…. Was it a waste of my time? I doubted myself, the devil causes me doubt… No, because it was spirit-led for God to make me write in order to humble myself in editing… I see how God convicts me in that I am not to battle the devil myself, I am to rely on HIM, which is a good thing because HE is God… And when God pulls me long enough and I end with a very familiar lyric to myself then I know God has closed my circle on this piece… Thanks GOD for teaching me, for loving me so much to encircle and hold me as YOUR child in YOUR garden.

Here’s the piece:

Devil Stand Down, God Help me Chase Those Birds Away, Rekindle,16Aug

Right now I am in the middle of the planting season…. Planting the seeds of the good news of Christ… I am knocking on doors anew, sometimes walking away, shaking the sand off my sandals… but many I am working already cracked open doors and spending some time appreciating being welcomed into someone’s house, blessed blessed, blessed! The great commission can be done, it just takes you figuring out where you start… Start easy until you gain more tools in your toolbox… There are tough projects but easy ones too…
… Actually know it’s not you alone doing the work… And know it’s not YOUR work, it’s GOD’S work… Plant seeds to spread the good news, but don’t stop there… You might be called into duty to work the soil while God grows the seeds. You might be there to chase away the birds.

Don’t just plant the good news and walk away, stay to work the soils of some of the people… I found it’s a combination of new and renewing faith, of kindling and RE-kindling dying or dead embers… It’s not just about NEW commissions, its RENEWING-commissions… That’s a good place for new gardeners with excess blessings to share. Show the weary commissioners that their work is not wasted… Renew their spirits too.

Like in the four soils parable, people are at different faith conditions… No one said you couldn’t get in there and help them with their soils (or souls)… Till some old dried soil, and lend hands at trimming thorns, removing rocks and filling them in with extra soil… And yes, take some time to chase away those birds that swoop like the devil ready to eat the seeds of the good Word….

Use the old and new tools in your shed in new ways…

Why doubt your work? Did you do your work in God’s name? It’s the devil, I tell you from experience, which will make you doubt… The devil can sneak in with blindside attacks. But the devil also flies in “plain as day” like birds to eat fresh seed… and when you approach they all flutter away… A big whirl of feathers reacting all at once to the smallest scare. If you can see the devil come like birds then surely you can scare them away… By yourself? No! Don’t forget to call upon and rely on God… Command that devil to see God’s almighty power strengthening inside of you and holding you and ask God to make the devil stand down for you, your family and for others…. Put God firmly on your face, in your heart and in your walk. It’s God’s will to change hearts, it’s your job to witness that He did this in your heart.

Maybe you want to make it a game to scare that devil and he will get tired of playing (for now)… Await him knowingly and run directly at him with Jesus power and watch those birds flutter so fast… But don’t tempt yourself too much… It’s God’s power not yours that is scaring the devil away… And you might slip up if you think it’s a game… It’s NOT a game…

But do what you have to do to be God’s tool for this Great Commission… Remind the devil (and remind yourself) that you are following God’s command to grow the kingdom and to be fruitful.  Be part of the vine that is Jesus and be ready to help God takeover the world… But don’t let go of that vine… Rekindle your own flame for the Lord; don’t wait for more gardeners to fertilize your own soil, but fellowship with them to do so together.

But do still your soil from time to time to let it rest and replenish nutrients…
Be Still and re-listen… And re-kindle…
“Be Still and KNOW that I am God”

But then get back out there for next growing season. God needs you out there refreshed and renewed, rekindled and re-vined.

Grab your tools folks! Game on! Got to get ourselves back to the garden…. GOD’S GARDEN… Let’s go… let’s grow…

Discernment, 14AUG – #242



Discernment, 14AUG

Oh wow, I was getting the scriptures for Sundays sermon to post on Facebook…. first I thought cool I never read this one before… And then I read it was about asking God for discernment…. I didn’t fall off my chair, but I could have… Discernment!!!!, that’s what I have prayed for this WHOLE time….what I asked prayers for myself – that first time… WOW…. now I understand why I feel over blessed with riches of spirit gifts, WOW, thanks God!

1Kings 3:
3 Solomon showed his love for the Lord by walking according to the instructions given him by his father David, except that he offered sacrifices and burned incense on the high places.

4 The king went to Gibeon to offer sacrifices, for that was the most important high place, and Solomon offered a thousand burnt offerings on that altar. 5 At Gibeon the Lord appeared to Solomon during the night in a dream, and God said, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.”

6 Solomon answered, “You have shown great kindness to your servant, my father David, because he was faithful to you and righteous and upright in heart. You have continued this great kindness to him and have given him a son to sit on his throne this very day.

7 “Now, Lord my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. 8 Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. 9 So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?”

10 The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. 11 So God said to him, “Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, 12 I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you

Subaru Sermon – Strange – Surprise – Salvation, 11AUG – email to pastor – #241



Subaru Sermon – Strange – Surprise – Salvation, 11AUG

An email to my pastor:

Hi Pastor, that was a great sermon, very thoughtful… Listened in the car…

I so appreciate the fruit that appears in the orchard that God has given me… just like you read from Galatians 5…. that fruit seems to pop up awfully frequently for me these days…. it does still takes me by surprise, as you know…

Even just now I am listening to our praise song “ode 15, eternal life”  and I reached down to pick up a random vbs tag which is not mine, I have no idea how it showed up in my car… it’s the one about eternal life… I attached a photo… Strange

Another example is the next big Girl Scout trip to the exact same place where we planned then cancelled a vacation for us…. strange…

And strange wonderful to receive a work award yesterday… not so strange, because I write some nominations every year and have a good track record of them… Not so many people write them, people don’t realize the golden opportunity… kinda like salvation, many people don’t realize the golden opportunity… they have to choose to embrace it…. yup!

Have great fruitful day!


Galatians 5 – Life by the Spirit

13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited,provoking and envying each other.

God’s Stars, God’s LIGHT, 09Aug (camping on the beach) – #240



God’s Stars, God’s LIGHT, 09Aug (camping on the beach)

Like the stars in the sky, there are infinite points of LIGHT that God shines on us… There are endless stars in the sky…. if we could see them all, if we could see infinitely far, they would all merge together to make one bright continuous light. If at night we see the Milky Way and the brilliant stars, then we know we are so tiny, so mini in the vast universe, and yet still blessed to God’s children, to be loved in the most personal way. You can look up and say, I know you are listening God, I know you can hear me, I know you can see me.

If there is less light pollution then you can see more stars. It’s not like the stars aren’t there… it’s you just can’t see them all… the man-made light blinds you to them. It’s just we have to move ourselves, get  ourselves out of the way, and get to a place where we can notice them more brilliantly.

Same with God’s blessings, just because you can’t see ALL of God’s brilliant points of light that bless your life at this very moment doesn’t mean they aren’t there… The man made blight can blind you to all your blessings. God is there alright, it’s just we have to move ourselves, get  ourselves out of the way, and get to a place where we can notice them more brilliantly.

For the light of the stars and the LIGHT of GOD… Move yourself…
When life is at its darkest you can see the most LIGHT.

At day or night…
God is there alright…
God is LIGHT…


God’s Atmosphere, 08AUG (camping on the beach) – #239 **



God’s Atmosphere, 08AUG (camping on the beach)

Sunrise at a beach…
God woke me up in time…
I was camping on the sand, I ran to the water so wouldn’t miss the sunrise, I knew it was close, but I had just about 10 minutes before the Sun actually rose…  and so I sat on the sand… God had made enough time for me to reflect… reflecting on how good God has been to me, to all of us. The praise song lyrics “everything you hold in your hand, still You make time for me, I can’t understand” sings through my head…
God makes time for me… God stills time for me….  not just taking the time to listen to me and to act for me, but truly He makes time because he really causes time….   The earth is turning, we understand time chronologically but we can NOT fathom how long it FEELS from when God created the earth until we are in the present day. God could speed up or slow down time if He chooses… He is the maker of all things; we are on HIS time clock….

The clouds are still…. the steady wind is whipping here at the beach, the waves are fierce but these clouds don’t move, they are cemented in the sky… it’s unreal and you can even see in the distance, to the north, pockets of rain showers, but the clouds DON’T move. You can see the reflection of the sunrise in the cemented clouds… Be still and know that I am God… these clouds are still… the waves are not… the wind is not… but the clouds are still… they are reflecting God.

The clouds are part of the atmosphere; they reflect this rising Sun in red, yellow, orange, pink against a blue sky. The clouds are being held still by God to reflect His beauty. The atmosphere on earth causes a reflection. For us to be God-like we are to be atmosphere-like. We are to reflect His beauty, we are to shine brightly as the Sun…. maybe we have some interesting clouds that are still in our lives, but these clouds will reflect the Sun in brilliant color, they will reflect the beauty, they will reflect truth and they will be still.

Be still…  just before the Sun arose I was joined on the beach by another and another and another, appreciating God. We camp together,  we laugh together, we love life together…  we together make the atmosphere…  I realize that it was not “be quiet and know that I am God” time but it was “be together and reflect God” time… reflect the beauty of God in our friendship… the beauty of God in our appreciation of life… and the beauty of God in creating ALL that is held in His hands… for us it was exactly at the right time… these friends of mine together this morning… on the beach, as the Sun crested, someone turned around and then called out to all of us so that we could all see the most beautiful rainbow… a rainbow of God… A rainbow promise created NOT by rain but caused by God’s reflection of the Sun in the STILL clouds… behind us! I would have missed it completely just sitting by myself but God sent these friends to reflect His beauty to each other, to make an atmosphere of beauty, to create an atmosphere of appreciation and awe of God…

All of God… Awe of God.

It takes the atmosphere to reflect God in all those colors – to show HIS brilliance – to show His love…
God makes time for me… Thanks God


Mathtime is God’s playtime, 06AUG – #238



Mathtime is God’s playtime, 06AUG

No doubt in my mind that God is a mathematician of the highest form… from fractals to Fibonacci numbers, God has it covered in such fun ways… Golden ratios and a great way to learn all about this amazing math is this fun video of Donald Duck in Mathmagic land…. it’s a must view!!!!  check out the section at the three minute mark to see how math is the basis for music!   the 11 minute mark for natural patterns… everything is arranged in mathematical shape and the rules are always the same….

I also am amazed about patterns in nature – patterns that lend themselves to spirals and repeating structures in everything from flower petals to snail shells….

here are more cool things on this webpage…

Studying math and science leads me to God in every direction – the more you know the more there is to learn – its endless…. it’s forever… more questions appear as soon as you answer one – a fractal of forever questions  (these concepts are not new but this article with the author’s name “A Heaven-rich” is a good quick read)


I found a New One !!! Romans 8, 06AUG – #237



I found a New One !!! Romans 8, 06AUG

Aside from the three sound bites in here, Romans 8, I have never read this whole passage….
It’s a blessing to have electronic bibles, scrolling and re-learning what God already had put on my brain….

I just relistened to Pastor’s sermon about Jesus calming the waves… calling to rebuke them and I thought this is also exactly what the Romans passage is about… we are already children of God we are Jesus brothers and sisters He is so intercalated into our soul that we are to call out and rebuke the waves to calm them because we’ve intercalated Jesus into our hearts and we have already been saved by grace therefore we just need to recognize it and call out “Father, Abba”  using Jesus’s voice in our mouths….”nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Yeah when we are one with Christ, He is our soul, our hope, and we are HIM when HE is in us, nothing can separate….  We are whole… We control our waves when HE is with us…. Thanks GOD!!!

“Hope that is seen is no hope at all….” Grown inwardly… hope is patient….Yeah, we’ve already gained those “first fruits” as children of God, we already have that Amazing Grace…. “Bright shining as the Sun… we’ve no less days to sing God praise, then when we first begun…”

….. “24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently…..”

And we already were made in the image of God son therefore children of God … God calls us before we were even born…

“29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.”

Thank you Lord for calling me anew each day, each hour, each minute….

Romans 8:
14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,[g] Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Present Suffering and Future Glory
18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that[h] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

More Than Conquerors
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


Holding on to Jesus, 04AUG – #236



Holding on to Jesus, 04AUG

An email to my former Pastor R…. Thought I would share…

Now I have a post-VBS, come back to reality check… Scale back down the mountain without falling… It is now more than ever that I truly need to stay connected to the LIGHT… it’s now when I feel the need to let Jesus hold me up… Arms raised surrender style… Financial bills, life worries, work worries, family worries, yeah swirling…. HOLD me inside the hurricane please Jesus….

This bracelet (photo attached) that my Pastor gave me is a good reminder for me to stay in Jesus’s circle of life and hold on… (oh if you could have seen the such excitement he had giving it to me on “Christmas in July” of all days, because the white bead contains water from Mount Everest our VBS theme… I was truly speechless with such a thoughtful gesture and such amazing loving support). This bracelet’s white bead representing the highest of highs in your life remember to stay humble and the black bead containing mud from the Dead Sea remind you when you’re at your lowest of lows to stay hopeful…. and for me the many beads in between in camouflage earthly tones are where I am scaling down right now… holding on to my faith to keep from slipping. The VBS slow song I’ve been listening to is “as I hold on to my faith, Jesus you are holding on to me”…

Truly I’ve been so blessed to feel the connection to the LIGHT of Jesus that will find me if I ever get too close to escaping to the dark… Psalm 139… I pray I will keep my joy, and I truly feel I will…

Truly I know I will keep my joy with my memories, my present tremendous blessings, in my hope in the future… As summer is still in full swing then winds down… I will enter my favorite season, Fall, and guess what comes after that? Christmas… this will be my first REAL Christmas, 100% now in Jesus’s loving arms… I feel he was planted as a baby in me last Dec/January and I’ve been growing him in my heart and in my arms all year and now he’s grown big enough to carry me through….

Yeah, that’s TRUE JOY…

Jesus holding me in JOY…


Praising God for Strength and Snow, 03Aug – #235



Praising God for Strength and Snow, 03Aug

Still got a snowball… This one fluffy soft, good for squeezing for stress relief….left over from VBS… Reminding me of HIS power to comfort me… so many times with his gift of snow in jan, feb, march…. Once even dropping me dead in my tracks… “Be still and know I am God…”

And still now… the snow comforting and reminding me of God’s power… last week I pretended to be the VBS fairy snowmother with the power of snow, (saving lots of snow from February to share in July), fun but I used it to teach that we truly truly need to look to GOD because HE has the REAL “Power to Heal…HOLD ON!” “He heals the broken hearted and bandages their wounds”… Psalm 147… It turns out that psalm 147 also mentions that God spreads the snow like wool… Yeah, it really does mention snow… Thanks GOD… You know every hair on my head…

So a few down moments for me today… hearing of folks very ill nearing death, and a sad lost opportunity to get away with my family for some needed vacation… So besides the armor of God to stay strong in preventative ways, my “go to” remedy today to pray thru it all was that I listened to Amazing Grace, date recorded is the same as my mom’s birthday… a beautiful rendition… Then I remembered why I had this as a recorded song because I wasn’t in regular church that day but instead was away, up home for my mom’s birthday… immersed in blessed snow up to my knees… Immersed in my family’s unparalleled love… Love so much from my mom that she collected two trash bags of snow for me to save for vacation bible school…  yup… snow

Yes, God made it full circle:  LOVE… SNOW… Providing… comfort… healing… SNOW… LOVE…

Thanks for making and loving every snowflake uniquely…

Thanks for making and loving each of us so uniquely…

Thank you God for the loving strength today, and thanks for the SNOW…


Jesus makes work LIGHT!, 01AUG – #234


234 Jesus makes work LIGHT!, 01AUG


I don’t know if anyone else has made this connection about this phrase… Wow it’s too profound for me to have thought off it on my own, it’s God who connected my thoughts in HIS timing… put it together in my head… It’s powerful to me when I let God take charge… Here’s the thought:

“Many hands make light work”… This really means: “Many hands make LIGHT (as in Jesus’ Light) work!!!

Tell me others have made this connection…

I  freaky really realized that double meaning (GOD put it in my head) after a ten minute power nap just now… Praise God…. I was up with my son, not feeling well at 430am, he is fine now)… So when I felt God’s powering me down for a reboot, I took it… Ten minutes…

Many hands make LIGHT (as in Jesus’ Light) work!!!
We do Jesus’ work…
We are Jesus’ LIGHT…
We are Jesus’ work…
We are Jesus’ LIGHT…
Jesus works….

Whew God… You blow me away… and bring me back for more… Blessed… I feel as LIGHT as a feather when I let you take over… Blown onto the air and floating down into Jesus’ arms. Blessed… Light with life!


Thank You VBS Parents -email about VBS to Pastor and co-chair, 31JULY – #233


233 email about VBS to Pastor and co-chair, 31JULY:

Full House awesome… I was definitely nervous tonight… Definitely felt that uncertainty of “I have a captive audience to tell them everything exciting Jesus had done for me, tell everyone of my blessings, etc etc…” VS. NOTHING about me… Good thing I had planned that giant snow ball to calm me down… Blessed…
I was nervous in the prayer room… Funny how I can write all I want, and be so free at the actual morning VBS, sing as loud as proud as I can, and up!!! Our music leader and I sang a song everyday – just the two of us -pumped up for the Lord!!…  but nerves got me tonight…. I was nervous about how to share my burst in faith without it looking like it was about me… Because I know it’s not about ME being proud that God took an interest, but me telling how humbled I am that God uses me and my WHOLE toolbox… And how God uses OTHERS… That is where I should put my story telling… 2nd Corinthians Paul said I will boast about this other man who got to see layers of heaven…

So I realized all I REALLY have to do is JUST share my faith… (And then in the right settings with the people who already know me or not, I can explain the burst of my faith in as little detail or as much detail as feels appropriate..)… So tonight I shared that my faith was strengthened by boasting about the audience’s awesome children who enable ALL of us at VBS to see Jesus at work… To praise them because it’s thru teaching children (and teaching/reaching adults) where I have seen Jesus at work…

I know at some point I will nail down motivational stories in short and in long format… I already have audiences to tell other people stories to…. And it’s ok to tell my story too, I’m going to have to continue to tell everyone that it’s God who caused this weight loss and healthy life. I do that now, when I get those “wow” reactions I say in short “that’s one powerful God, I had nothing to do with this but follow HIS plan”…

Thanks for everything this week!!! You two and everyone kept me from a potential snowtastrophe of climbing too fast and too high… next year down down down… Deep into the earth we will go…

Day 1… Jesus gives us hope.
Key Verse: “O Lord, you alone are my hope.” (Psalm 71:5)…

Yup Yup Yup, spelunking for Jesus… when things are dark, finding the light of the world… Light up OUR world, Jesus… Thanks GOD! Thanks for our VBS family!

I Saw Jesus, 30 July – #232 **



I Saw Jesus, 30 July

I woke up early to tell you this story of seeing Jesus yesterday…When I rolled up out of bed, the moon was smack dab in my face. I see that blessed moon and I always say “Thanks GOD!”    Here’s my witness:

I Saw Jesus, 30 July

I have a story about seeing Jesus…. A little 4 year old sweetie – Barbara – I got to witness Jesus in her…

A little 3 year old boy, who truly truly didn’t know any better, yanked her hair so hard it pulled out a big clump. I was there… oh to hear that scream, see the clump pulled out, and see others comfort this little girl. It was so painful,  she cried so much…. And her grandma emailed later to say she cried on and off for the rest of the day… Barbara said she didn’t want to go back to VBS because she didn’t want to get hurt again, but she wanted to be with her friends and it was breaking her heart not to be with them. So her grandma urged her to come back to VBS, and we encouraged her grandma, and I said to please tell her how happy her crew leaders and I would be to see her come back… And yes, Praise God, Barbara came back the next day with the biggest smile on her face. Praise Praise Praise.

For the bible lesson, we talked about that God has the power to heal… I pretended to be the Fairy Snow Mother with the power of snow (yes I saved 3/4 of freezer with snowballs from February), asked if there was anyone I could make feel better with my snowball, nope, as much as they loved holding it – it did not have the healing power that Jesus has…I reminded them that it’s actually God who has the power to heal… “He heals the broken hearted and bandages their wounds”… and that God has the power to forgive.

I was teaching but actually I was the one who was taught that day about Jesus – I witnessed Jesus in Barbara coming back to be with her friends at VBS despite being hurt by someone.  I was told by Barbara’s crew leaders that the first thing she did when she came back was to sit down next to the boy who pulled her hair and she said directly to him: “DON’T pull my hair” and then she gave him the biggest hug…. if that’s not showing Jesus is LOVE, I don’t know what is… She was being Jesus – at four years old she was shining Jesus love…

Jesus says I LOVE you, I don’t judge you, and “go and sin no more”. This little girl essentially said: “I forgive you” with her smile, “I love you” with her hug, and “go and sin no more” with her words. Will she forget? I don’t know…. But she forgave that day…. Jesus forgave that day. Jesus says: “They don’t know what they do, Father, forgive them… “

And we are all called to be Jesus as well… Not judge… Just Forgive… Always to Love…

Yes I saw Jesus today… And Jesus smiled…

barbara snowball and hair tied back for 232 i saw jesus

Perfect Love, 27JULY – #231



Perfect Love, 27JULY

I promised myself that if I wrote during bible school that I wouldn’t send them out until next week… But I changed my mind… I love this piece… Called “Perfect Love” below… I love God’s love…

I had this on my mind at 530am… Couldn’t shake it, had to write it… I know that I am not perfect and actually embrace my “wing it” ability too much…
But God loves me anyway…

It was such a blessed VBS day that I can’t even begin to write about it… And I don’t have to because I witnessed “God will provide” to 175+ people and then another 2 dozen at the homeless dinner… And like 300 on Facebook…

My favorite yapping at the homeless dinner was with Sir Bruce, singing songs, talking TV shows, and just kicking back to absorb his energy level when he is so much worse off than me… Better conversation with him then some regular ole people I know… I helped him write, he traced lines I dotted and we made a VBS mountain together… Free flowing fun conversation, no strings attached… another one was at church Sunday, I sat in the back with a brain damaged man… he was telling me about Jesus… Perfect when I am in that chatting mood, which is where I am right now… Which is how I always was… Chatting with no strings attached…

Perfect Love 27 JULY
God called me – why THIS timing is not mine to know – but God waited until I was ready and he waited until he saw that now is the tipping point between what I wanted to do in life and what HE wants me to do in life…  Luckily for me – those tasks were not all that different…  at least as far as I interpret God so far… It tickles me to know that God loves me SO MUCH that he just wants me to be me….

God called me to use my skills and my vast toolbox of physical and psychological learnings… God certainly wants me to use my smile and silly ways – God certainly wants me to use my organizational skills.. God certainly wants me to use my reach to touch people’s lives for the better…  But God wants me to channel those skills through HIS plan, NOT mine.  God knows I am NOT perfect and that i strive NOT to be…  God wants me to do the best I can with the time I have and the tools and circumstances…  He will place my work right in front of me every day if I just pay attention…

Do I have a perfect life?  no way…  not then and not now…  do I have perfect anything?  NOPE – never did and never will!  Should i have/be perfection? Nope, except  ONLY in ONE thing… LOVE…

Jesus came to earth to show us PERFECT LOVE… Jesus came to show us to not judge…  to care for people…  to become right with God and SIN NO MORE…  but Perfection?  LOVE is what should be PERFECT in Jesus’ eyes… It is my opinion that you are to do the best you can in everything else – but try to LOVE perfectly…

What does PERFECT LOVE mean?  it means you and I have a LONG road ahead of us…  we are tough cookies to crumble…  we have put up a fight for a long time to dislike and judge and push our agendas…  we confuse corrective actions and love… yes we do need to push ourselves, right our wrongs, and complete ourselves… and we do sometimes feel the need to teach others to be better at whatever God calls them to do… but we also have to accept people as they are and know that God is working in parallel wit them…  and YES we need to maximize our time doing all this with the short time we have here on this imperfect earth (even the earth is not perfectly rounded).

I do feel that it is important to take a step back and appreciate the tools in others which will help achieve this striving towards perfect LOVE. As leaders we need to draw upon peoples strengths, and reach people to effect good change…  we need to examine our toolboxes too – we need to say “How can I deal with this situation and these people?”

Perfect LOVE is only obtained thru Jesus filtering of our hearts and Jesus filtering of our mouths… God is patient with us, he made us and he knows we have become human sinners, he knows our motives before we act and speak – he knows all…

We will do our best to please Him…

We will do our best to perfect ourselves in all aspects of our lives… but ONLY to the glory of God… ONLY to please God and not please ourselves…

We will do our best to PERFECTLY LOVE…
We will find that GOD loves us perfectly, teaches us perfect through Jesus, and moves and molds us through the Holy Spirit…
We will find human Jesus in our human selves and share HIS LOVE…


Merry Christmas in July, 25JULY – #228, 229, 230


228   Merry Christmas in July, 25JUL

How could I miss this opportunity to wish you all Merry Christmas in July…. Is it silly? I KNOW silly, I work hard at silly, and NO, I assure you it’s NOT silly. It’s Christmas.

This time seven months ago I was in question, I was in flux… I was reaching to stabilize myself to only a few souls who wouldn’t betray my sinful secret that I wasn’t truly a believer in Jesus as the son of God… I prayed for discernment, and I got it… And I got Jesus big time… Actually He got me…

I still do pray for renewed discernment… New questions… Where do I go from here, God? How do I share your promised salvation? Who do I tell and when? How do I honor YOU without disobeying YOU? How will I stop asking so many questions? How will I “Be Still”?

I still reach to stabilize my new life, I never knew this path would take me where it has, I never knew I could find more joy than I had and I never knew I was to find true sorrow and true temptation too. Yeah light and dark.

So, a few days after Christmas, at our open house party, many brought me a candle as a gift…  And my daughter made candles too, I made a couple myself… A couple days after Christmas I found myself with about 10 new candles… Yeah, why so many candles? I pondered… Why so many when I NEVER burn a candle, ever… Why so many people thought I needed the candles? That I needed the light…? Oh yeah, didn’t take me long to put it all together… God orchestrated this… and He said let there be LIGHT! And He found the people to bring it. He found the people who beam it!

Well yeah, I do boast my God sightings way too much, and I want to stop screaming how excited I am…. but I just try to tell the truth… God smiled… God said this sleeping child of mine needs CHRISTMAS, needs CHRIST. God said you the people, “Bring My Light”

Yeah, God gifted me Jesus, I got Christmas… I got Jesus… Thank you God! I got to share…

God’s timing shook me, but now I reflect… God picked the ways, God picked the people, God knows what HE is doing… comfort in His plan… I turn to God to see the light, I turn to Jesus to feel the light, I turn to the world to shine the light. I turn to God to focus His light, gifting my heart and my eyes to shine Him…

Yeah, I still reach to stabilize while I broadcast… Yeah, I am scared because I don’t know what sacrifices I must make now… I felt and have been told that the devil is out to get those who turn away from evil and ignorance… Yeah, God told me to look for Christmas everyday this year, lest I stop listening, lest I stop looking for the light. I was sent to deliver HIS message.

God assures me the LIGHT won’t go out, that I won’t burn out… I know that God knows I don’t take any chances… I reach out just wanting to stabilize myself until I stand unshakeable… I will stand for you God, I will beam Your light. God willing I can make a difference no matter what…

Merry Christmas God. Thank YOU for taking me, sinner that I am, imperfect in so many ways, for giving me your LIGHT, everyday. Thank YOU for YOU, everyway.

I give all of me to You.

Merry Christmas God.



Christmas again, 26 JUL

I knew it was Christmas everyday but it’s extra sweet when God shows me it in different ways… I was sitting in a random pew for Sunday services and opened the pew hymnal to find a Christmas program 1 ½ years old… from 2013… How blessed to feel God’s love in every little detail in my life … I’m sure God saved this paper for me to find… “Come to the cradle”, come and find peace… Yeah, thanks God… That’s exactly what I found. Jesus is my peace everyday… Awesome! Blessed! Christmas! That’s the real ABC’s…

Merry Christmas again




Christmas Times Three?  Geez God?, 26JUL

And this….?
Really God? Just sitting here in the choir loft, I look to my left and guess what I found another year and a half old 2013 Christmas program like earlier today… this one from candlelight instead of contemporary… same year… Geez God… Thanks for duplicating yet something else for me… You will explain this to me some day when I get to heaven?

Not patience but discernment, 26JUL – #227



Not patience but discernment, 26JUL

So I had a good conversation with a Christian confidante…  I said I have to pray for patience he said “NEVER pray for patience or else you will be tested on your patience by Satan”… I said oh really…yes i know that for sure!!!  and he then said I should pray for DISCERNMENT… I nearly lept out of my chair when I told him that was exactly the prayer I asked for from the very beginning… discernment… you remember oh so long 7 months ago…. yeah I renew my own prayer for discernment for everything now… I love how God duplicated things for me.

3 VBS writings – Snow, Children, Mountain – #224, 225, 226


224 VBS snow praise, JUL

Today I was hiking and hands raised I praised Jesus on the mountain, and next week he will LOVE the snow!!!! I had to take this photo  – so EXCITED for VBS!!!!
God had the power to provide, to comfort, to heal, to forgive, and to give us an eternal home!! I am living proof! I praise HIM for helping me lose myself to find myself…

vbs snow 224.PNG

225 email VBS 23JULY

Yeah, what a fitting bible verse of the day….
Matthew 19:14. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

VBS is about the children, showing them (some for the first time) the LOVE of Jesus alive in all OUR hearts, encouraging them to look for, long for, and run towards Jesus in JOY – so that in times of joy AND especially in times of troubles they can also look for, long for, and run towards Jesus.

VBS is about ALL of US becoming that child again and reminding ourselves and showing ourselves (with rekindled youthfulness) the LOVE of Jesus alive in all OUR hearts (alive in MY heart, alive in YOUR heart), encouraging our ownselves to look for, long for, and run towards Jesus in JOY – so that in times of joy AND especially in times of troubles WE can also look for, long for, and run towards Jesus.

Because the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who follow and make Jesus alive….


I believe Jesus lives.




VBS email July

Build a Mountain

Going to build a mountain today… I’ve been carrying it around in pieces for a long time…. This mountain is not made of rocks, but lightweight styrofoam for Vacation Bible School. It will also be easy to dismantle. What will be hard is for me to decide is what to do with the pieces after… do I throw them away? do I save them in case I need them? It’s a lot of baggage to carry around… yes just because the mountains is down doesn’t mean it’s gone…

But honestly I know and you know the mountains we are building our lives are hard…. Not ready to take down… they are made of rock stone dirt sin crap from us and crap we absorb from others… all the things that we put into our lives and then find them hard to move. It’s heavy … it’s no fun … it’s mountains that will hold you back….

We ask God to move mountains for us…. And He will… If you BELIEVE…. Mark 11:23 “I can guarantee this truth: This is what will be done for someone who doesn’t doubt but believes what he says will happen: He can say to this mountain, ‘Be uprooted and thrown into the sea,’ and it will be done for him.”

And remember, God asks us to believe it can be moved I the first place…. Believe first, then think… then look… be aware…. we have to look and see and ask “Did I build this mountain myself?” Perhaps it just built by itself?… Perhaps it’s the mountain in somebody else that I can’t move?

All these mountains…. we don’t know what to do…. we can ask God to move …. we have to believe God will move them…. He will dismantle them but is it those mountains in US that God would certainly enjoy US helping…. God appreciates the efforts, and rewards the work… WE can work on our own mountains, dismantle them break them down into smaller pieces easier to deal with.. What will be hard is for US to decide is what to do with the pieces… do I throw them away? do I save them in case I need them? it’s a lot of baggage to carry around… yes just because the mountains is down doesn’t mean it’s gone… and yet smaller pieces are easier to throw into the sea…

Yes if it IS going to take time to move a mountain in your life…. Be proactive… ask God… believe, pray and ask him to move this mountain… but be ready to know what to do with the pieces after its dismantled. Perhaps God likes action plans.

If it’s a mountain in somebody else’s life which is holding you back pray to God for your own patience. God moving that mountain may take a while its not at your pace but at that person’s pace and it’s God’s timing, not yours… maybe what you can offer is how to help that person take care of the dismantled pieces. Perhaps God likes action plans. So believe God will help then with their own action plan… KNOW and TRUST GOD to do what is RIGHT.

SO believe JUST believe… BELIEVE like you’ve never believed before. Sometimes mountains are moved slowly, sometimes we have to take the long way around and keep travelling while the mountain is being moved. Either way, know God is working on HIS plan… and BELIEVE…

Feel the Love – Fill the Bag, 22JUL – #223



Feel the Love – Fill the Bag, 22 JULY


Fitting bag I keep hard copies of my writing in, huh? “Subaru… Feel the LOVE”

Got it from a very spiritual friend, who thoughtfully got it for me at a car show a couple of years ago… He was the one who called me out of the blue on this mother’s day to wish me a happy mother’s day and when I called back we caught up from a long while… How blessed I could share how God had changed me…

How blessed also I was this morning to have someone check on me, worried I was ill with my head down, when actually I was just so deep in thought sitting in my car, writing a text…. It’s nice to have thoughtful people around isn’t it???

Just counting blessings… And Subarus…


“Til His Arms Went Free” 22July – #222



“Til His Arms Went Free” 22July

Well rats, …. I wrote a simple song… I didn’t mean to but the chorus and melody were in my head… Woke up that way…. Hmm… I keep asking God to hold off until after VBS is done, but he slips these writings in first this in the morning… Lyrics were there but the tune in my head I had to adjust… So it’s now its contemporary sounding….  It’s simple but soulful for me… Sigh…

“Til His Arms Went Free” 22July

They captured Jesus
The sinner went free
They tortured him
Til his arms went free
Til his arms went free

Holy hol—-y, til HIS arms went free—-
Holy hol—-y, He’s for you and me

So they dragged God’s Son
Through the streets
His arms nailed up
Til his arms went free
Til his arms went free

Holy hol—-y, til HIS arms went free—-
Holy hol—-y, He’s for you and me

Thorns pierced his brow
Blood tricked down
God cries went out
Til his arms went free
Til his arms went free

Holy hol—-y, til HIS arms went free—-
Holy hol—-y, He’s for you and me

The darkened sky
The storms gave sign
Jesus died for us
And his arms went free
And his arms went free

Holy hol—-y, til HIS arms went free—-
Holy hol—-y, He’s for you and me

The cave was empty
His body gone
Jesus had arose
And HIS arms went free
And HIS arms went free

Holy hol—-y, til HIS arms went free—-
Holy hol—-y, He’s for you and me

He walked the earth
He fills our hearts
Jesus guides our souls
Heaven bound
Heaven bound

Holy ho—-ly, til HIS arms went free—-
Holy hol—-y, JESUS for you and me


Email with pastor, 20JUL – #221


221 email with pastor, 20JUL

Hi Pastor,  I just re-listened to a previous sermon about stress (which I thought might be good to rehear, LOL) but really i wanted to email you because it’s the end of the sermon where you had the drive home message that resounded with me…. the scripture from one of John’s letters is about us being a child of God and once you realize that, you will have peace…

This scripture talks about us being NOT of this world if we follow Jesus … Jesus overcame the world… and that matches a conversation that I had with the guest preacher and a friend… in a nutshell he said that if we follow Jesus then we are not of this world… therefore when we get to heaven we won’t be in the exact same position that we are in this world – and he talked about how God is pleased when we keep with fellow people who are believers like us but truly is only God who can do the changing of each person….

1 John 5 (NIV)

Faith in the Incarnate Son of God

Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of Godovercomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.

This is the one who came by water and blood—Jesus Christ. He did not come by water only, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit who testifies, because the Spirit is the truth. For there are three that testify:the Spirit, the water and the blood; and the three are in agreement.We accept human testimony, but God’s testimony is greater because it is the testimony of God, which he has given about his Son. 10 Whoever believes in the Son of God accepts this testimony. Whoever does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because they have not believed the testimony God has given about his Son. 11 And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.12 Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.

Concluding Affirmations

13 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of Godso that you may know that you have eternal life. 14 This is the confidencewe have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

16 If you see any brother or sister commit a sin that does not lead to death, you should pray and God will give them life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that you should pray about that. 17 All wrongdoing is sin,and there is sin that does not lead to death.

18 We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the One who was born of God keeps them safe, and the evil one cannot harm them. 19 We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. 20 We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true by being in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.

21 Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.


Evergreen Christian, 18JUL – #220



Here’s how God puts things in my head to write about…. This became a case study…. I had no intention to write this (or anything ever)… But the thought will bug me until it’s down on “paper”…. I drafted two yesterday enough to please God to get them out of my head, but not polished enough to send…. (After VBS, ok God?!?)….

Here’s the case study… Starts with 6 AM email writing a VBS volunteer, a dear friend, who feels unprepared because she missed a training… (thanks for sharing your moment of questioning my dear friend, it filled my soul with Jesus thoughts that I had to write out)….

“So no worries if you feel unprepared for VBS, how do you think I feel !!!! I feel ever like a new green Christian an evergreen, wow that’s profound and funny?!? LOL… If we remain evergreen how blessed we are….”

Sigh, going to have to write that devotion out now…. Evergreen Christian…. That is me this year, I feel to have Christmas all year, I feel like I am pregnant with Jesus this year carrying HIM… I did enjoy my first Easter, I can’t even imagine how excited I be at my first REAL Christmas this year.”

YES, that’s how these God thoughts start, sigh…. God laughs at me when I say please pause the writing until after VBS… God wakes me, Pulls the thoughts together… I would say it’s like deja vu, or like it’s “Groundhog Day” movie, or a time vortex, but it’s not quite, it’s new conversations, new thoughts… Sigh…. I write these to process (usually half an hour each)…

I am weak in my own soul, reaching out to Jesus to grow it….

I am strong in my own soul, reaching out to Jesus to share it… Blessed…


Evergreen Christian, 18Jul

I’m an Evergreen Christian…

Shedding old needles but growing new each year….

Growing Jesus and new blood…

Spreading the word of life everlasting…

Jesus alive – feeding, stirring, holding…

Brown tree trunk rooting you always in firm good soil…

Planted in the writers’ Word of the Lord, sweetly written in your heart…

Roots deep enough but still fragile to overwhelming circumstances…

Evergreen fresh growth each spring, supple unprotected green, NEW SOUL expansion… Evergreen sharp, wax-protected, hearty needles in winter, still green, still alive…OLD SOUL protection…

Winter at Jesus’ birth is spring in your life… Jesus born, Jesus alive… Spring at Jesus’ death is winter in your life… Jesus dies, flesh dead

Evergreen in Jesus is ever life, everlasting life… Jesus dead no more… Aware, awake, alive Evergreen Christian ever holding and growing Jesus…

Jesus ever holding and growing the Evergreen Christian… Jesus is Evergreen, SO ARE WE…

Aware, awake, alive…


Freedom, Christ Frees Your Traps, 17 Jul – #219


“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Psalm 4:23….. I worked very hard at that this week… Guarding but being blessed to share my heart with so many…. I feel my heart grows and lives in the people I know…. I feel that armor of God kept/keeps me whole, my joy in the Lord never wavered, my Jesus holding me inside the hurricane eye… Armor and holding that gave me freedom to live free from emotional trappings…. Freedom to let your heart soar to heal to live…. Freedom i pray for everyone…

Here’s my piece:
Freedom, Christ Frees Your Traps, 17 Jul
When we are trapped – what can relieve that feeling? What can give us precious hope to continue living in the moment or forever? When we are feeling at the end of our road, what happens? Who happens? What is going to free us? Christ.

If you ever feel trapped, contemplate what it will take to be free – will it take quick action? Or slow it down, slow down and think about it, how will I achieve freedom? how will I release myself? perhaps a few minutes of thinking will lead to freedom but rash action may fail and just frustrate the situation…

Have you ever been trapped? Are you trapped right now?

How are you trapped? Tyranny? Physically? Emotionally? Can’t get out? What do you do? What do you think? Are you there for forever? Is it a temporary trap? Can you think this through? Can you open the door? Can you loosen the hinges or manhandle the handle instead?

Freedom is a grace – a way to save face – God does not promise us a lack of trouble, He only promises us that if we believe in him, he will see us through… God is true for the long term – so true and so freeing if we believe beyond our current traps.

Freedom is found in the aroma of Christ… 2 Corinthians 2:14  “But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads in every place the fragrance that comes from knowing him.”…

Wake up and find freedom in your heart.

Know that we are eternally saved.

Fight your entrapment of tyranny…. Emotional freedom is to believe in freedom, to not feel trapped in situations, to have freedom to hope. Faith brings you hope and if you have hope then there is LIGHT…. if there is no direct light then there is still a tunnel you can feel your way out…. knowing that there is light at the end… knowing there is a light INSIDE – protect your light of Christ that yearns to grow your heart… “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Jars of Clay scripture, Jul – #218



email to a dear friend who is not feeling well but is one of the strongest faithful souls I know…. I had never read this scripture before…

2Corinthians 4:7

7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. 13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself.

15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

HOPE, 15JUL – #216




Good God of HOPE,

I hold onto You as You hold onto me…

HOPE in Your efforts is all I have left…

Actually HOPE is all I need…

I have FAITH in YOU

and I have JOY in YOU

and I have PEACE in YOU, my Lord…

HOPE holds me …

I hold HOPE….

Hold on, 15JUL – #215



Hold on, 15JUL

There’s truly nothing like hearing the Holy Spirit moving… I don’t mean thru the wind, I mean in song…. Music will be our comfort until our song day… hmmm…. I wrote “dying” day but autocorrect wrote “song” day….hmmmm …

Songs and lyrics held/hold the therapeutic B-side to my scripture readings… Music puts scriptures in real life scenarios into your brain like the etched grooves of a record, except that your mind can find then like autoskipping thru a cd. Especially in times of sorrow and loss and pain…

This was a 3 AM wake up call by a sick kid, no suitable medicine in the house, so tired, but I run to the 24hr drugstore… Clerks restocking shelves… Music playing…. YES, “Owner of a Lonely Heart”… Better than a broken heart… YES, that’s a good song… Haven’t heard it in twenty years?…YES, pulled it right up in my brain and sang along…

Home now, 4 AM, found it on YouTube… Wait…. what’s the next song on the album? YES, “Hold on”… Never heard it… Hmmm… YES God??? You calling AGAIN??? Apparently so….

Yesterday’s text conversation with my pastor was three songs that said or meant “hold on”…. As Jesus is holding onto ME… So this song “Hold On” at a now blessed 4 AM… SIGH…. God…”YES, My God, you have been HOLDING onto that song for me, haven’t you God?”

4 “Hold on” songs better than a God hat trick…

4 songs… a God HOLD trick….

4 ever YOU GOD hold onto me….

My strength held in Jesus never stronger, my strength is up, like it’s nailed up on Your cross…. Can I bear it? YES, I can Hold On…. Hold On until my dying day, my eternal song day….

Thanks my Lord God – you hold on to me as I hold onto you – I know you will NEVER let me go – I love you my Lord.


“Hold On” by YES….partial lyrics

“…..Shake –

We shake so hard

How we laugh so loud

When we reach

We believe in eternity

I believe in eternity

Hold on – Hold on

Wait – Take your time

See it through

Hold on – Hold on

Wait – Maybe a chance

Is looking for you

Sunshine shine on through

Sunshine shine on through

Sunshine shine on you Hold on – Hold on Hold on – Hold on…..”

(Other three songs were “Hurricane Eye” by Paul Simon,

“The Reason for the World” by Matthew West…:,

and a third I never heard called “Holding onto You” by Paul Coleman….) ……….

(Epilogue: met a “random” God-faithful servant from Texas Sunday…. I just came across her last name… Yes, it has the word “Hold” in her name…. God, You just smile as you work on my case, huh? Geez)

“Fell asleep in a washing machine, Woke up in a hurricane eye”15Jul – #214 *** Catch up story of my faith journey ***



15JUL email “Fell asleep in a washing machine, Woke up in a hurricane eye”

This was a catch up post for those who I hadn’t told personally of my awakening story –

I was ready to post this one day inside the closed private Facebook group that a friend had set up, but life happened… it’s fitting to share in this closed facebook group because that is where God cracked open the opportunity for me to fill in my historical lack of knowledge about the New Testament with my professor…. which led me to more professors, more faithful advisers, and most importantly right into Jesus’ Loving Arms welcoming me into God’s fold…

That day I started out feeling exuberant but at the end of the day pained immensely …. Hurricane surrounds, Jesus holds me in the eye…. There’s a Paul Simon song (of course, Hurricane Eye, Music at I truly “fell asleep in a washing machine, Woke up in a hurricane eye” Jesus pulled me into that hurricane eye – gave me peace. But he has to hold me anew each day. Each day I have to hold on tight.

The next day was more calm and I humbly shared this:

Ok folks, I know this is a very personal post in this closed group… but the reason why I’m posting it is because it’s time I decided to come clean to those I hadn’t had a chance to tell in person (I wish I had time to yap with all of YOU but time escapes me, please don’t be offended if you think I should have shared in person, it’s just God hasn’t run us together yet))…

So, I am a brand NEW Christian… As you know, I have been immensely blessed before and since then I have turned my life over 100% to God… He was taking me for his own anyway, so I decided to cooperate and not fight it any more…. He moved a mountain of my faith in front of me and told me to climb. I was 100% with God the Father, 99.44% with the Holy Spirit, but just 50:50 with Jesus). He gave me all the tools I needed. He gave me all the comfort I needed too.

God is responsible for EVERYTHING that’s happened in my life and most importantly God is the reason why I finally finally finally accepted Jesus between December to February 1st… I’ve been steady telling people individually (and been so blessed by people walking with me on my journey)…. but you know today I decided today’s the day to just let it out there little more… social media truly has been a major component in my facilitation of salvation… I know this is a closed church group so.this has been a stepping up to future public social media sharing of my salvation, I am going to share more and more openly as I get bolder and bolder… But the most important is I want people to feel comfortable discussing their faith… People (like I was) don’t discuss the very thing that needs to be hashed out, openly discussed with people… It’s not so good to “come out” as a new Christian like a clanging gong…even though it would feel great…. It’s better to come out like a whisper, and enable people to feel safe discussing faith with you… It’s non-judgement… I asked people not to judge when I opened up my faith questions… And God picked the exact people in the exact timing and walked them (or drove them) right into my path…

So I have been writing like crazy… I think its like 400 pages since December… yeah I did not choose to write this – God told me I needed to process and so there it is…. a nice thick packet… But conveniently I’ve been blogging it on a separate Facebook blog post it’s public but it is not advertised I figured God will do the advertising for me I just need that place to consolidate all this writing over 200 pieces… I’ve been so blessed by the movement of the Holy Spirit who has moved people.

It’s important to have a pseudonym NOT because I am hiding, I am certainly not, but because 1) I have small kids and want them to have their privacy. 2) I want to protect the people I wrote about, 3) the 99.44% off the attend didn’t know know me anyway.

You don’t have to read them… If someone sent me 400 pages I would probably smile and not be able to read much myself….

Again, this is NOT for my glory at all. ALL in ALL it’s for God’s glory… I was even convicted for saying it was my story… God got me good on that… Humbled me big time… It’s God’s story…. I am just God’s worker bee…. Even my name means bee in Hebrew.

Jesus has given me the biggest lift of my life and I’m so humble when I really rely on him to hold me up when I an weakest… And other times he lifts me up so much it feels like I am flying halfway to heaven.

Thank you and God bless… I would LOVE to discuss your faith with you (private chat, email, messaging, phone call)… It’s the most private and intimate part of our lives… I have been so blessed to see GOD at work in all of YOU… I have truly met Jesus, meet the Jesus within people, and HE has filled my soul.


Jesus writing in the sand – pondering – self conviction… 14Jul -#213



Jesus writing in the sand – pondering – self conviction… 14Jul

I think I answered my own question while I was extra pondering while writing a friend – I figured out for myself the question about Jesus taking time to write … after I thought i was getting side tracked I found an answer to my original question – God likes me thinking full circle in my writing… God is so patient… the answer to the question is the same as the answer to ALL my questions – I will figure them out if I ponder long enough in God’s word in my heart… Smiles

So, a random question –

What does Jesus write in the sand when the woman is awaiting her accusers at the stoning? – if there are unimportant things left out of the bible then why is this one thing left in? – is it just Jesus marking time? and he did it twice… is he waiting out the people to give them time to think and not staring them in the face to accuse them – but letting their own conscious take over – and giving them time before they left…. OR some googling says he may have been writing the Jewish law down – but again the writing itself is likely not important – but interesting if it Jesus showing that he is not even worrying about the people trying to trap him… he doesn’t have to even bother face them… hmmm…. just curious… i know it might be unimportant to the story – but i wonder… and how did this story get put back into the bible if the early people didn’t include it? we are so disconnected with the concept of time- I was just standing at the 1300’s castles in Europe – it puts you in awe that they were only 1300 years and not 2000 years removed from Jesus’ time – and it begs yet another question – how long will God let the world continue to have pockets of drifting from his teaching and pockets of strong following of his teaching? curious – and humans have such a narrow view of “how church used to be” because they think of church when they were kids and they have no concept of church 200, 500 or 1000 years ago… we think about the money “wasted” on huge things these days and then you look at all that GOLD in the cathedrals in Europe – more gold than I have ever seen – and you wonder what they could have done with all that money… I wonder if God sometimes just shakes his head – like Adam and Eve – “what did they do that for? it’s going to take me forever to fix this” – ah, the human nature of humans – shaking his head – but smiling at small victories of souls won over…

anyway I am getting side tracked – at least Jesus wrote in the sand and not in gold… His message was delivered temporary for the time and thus required human to human spreading of the word rather than Jesus telling everyone to write down exactly has he said… no gold-embossed images of the word… hmmm… sounds like a new thing to ponder… hmmm… now that is a very good thing to ponder… Through Jesus, God set up person to person connections to make this happen… set up something tough to do – but the only way to convict people is for them to convict themselves and learn how to turn to God for themselves – that woman had to do that too – she had to convict herself because Jesus wasn’t about to condemn her… yeah…. – we have to convict ourselves of our sins – we have a very patient God – taking time writing in your heart instead of sand – until he puts you in a spot where you can’t escape your own sins… hmmm… full circle i think i answered my own question – Jesus wrote as the people were examining their hearts and he would have stayed there and wrote and wrote and wrote until they could read their own hearts… cool….

Chocolate on Your Cross, 13JUL – #212


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Chocolate on Your Cross, 13JUL

Well apparently my sparkly cross necklace had its first tarnish…. from chocolate… somehow it got dipped in chocolate, maybe nutella in the car… chocolate is intercalated into my salvation. I don’t think Jesus minds a little bit of chocolate…. Salvation is tasty for the tongue as well as the soul… we hunger for life everlasting that only the cross brings…

Freaky Cross, Passionate PEACE, 12-13Jul – #211



Freaky Cross, Passionate PEACE, 12-13Jul

Well that was kind of freaky… I was at church 10 o’clock at night, dropping off stuff for Vacation Bible School and I look up at in the window and a glittery cross is twisting and shining sparkly, moving with the air conditioner?… from the other side of the room?… I took a photo and video… Freaky… a freaky cross comfort…

I am usually not freaked out alone in the building, but tonight when I heard those normal creaks, I just had to tell myself it’s nothing… When I went upstairs to the choir loft to drop off my stuff, I immediately noticed the giant wood cross I draped in white fabric across the room with the outside lights shining on it….. Ah comfort.

Then I noticed the old heavy brass cross that we ignore in the choir loft too much, I move it around like it’s looking for a home… Ah comfort.

As I went back down the stairs, I looked to the wall, there used to be a cloth cross tapestry there, it’s moved but that image on the wall is imprinted in my brain… Ah comfort.

I didn’t look for any of these crosses, they just were the first things to catch my eye… To absorb my fear… A VBS phrase: “God had the power to comfort…Hold on”.

Freaky or not, I’ll keep looking for God, HE will comfort me always…

Freaky or not, I’ll keep noticing crosses when I am not looking for them, Jesus saves me, Jesus makes me sane…

It’s not that I will forget that God saved me, it’s just that God wants me to notice the cross over and over again, he is always retraining my eye on the only comfort, hope, joy and peace I need… I do thankfully have one of those strong memories that remembers the good and fades out the bad… Reminding me all the good in my life came from God.

God decided I needed daily reminders to look to Jesus’ loving arms hung on the cross… Everyday anew He wants me to feel like I could hold Jesus outstretched in my loving arms, strongly lifting Him off the cross and then His stiff body melts in my arms as He is resurrected into LIFE… His body dark becoming glittering and glowing… Then He hugs me tight and holds me up as my body goes limp, enabling Him to polish me, as my soul goes from tarnished twinkling to sparkly bright with His bold light emanating thru me as HE lifts me ever closer to Heaven…

His passion unmatched. God’s love never-ending, never tarnished, never dull.

God is moving the passion of Christ’s LOVE inside me, stirring my soul, setting sparkles in my heart that will catch HIS light and emanate out.

The Holy Spirit is blowing me gently, turning me to catch the light. Christ is shining thru me and He turns my soul passionate. His sparkling cross wills me into passionate PEACE.


Emails to Pastor(s), Jul – #210



Emails to Pastor(s)

You know what one off my favorite songs as a child was? “Go tell it in the mountain, over the hills and everywhere! That Jesus Christ was born!!!”

I am pleased to amplify and carry out God’s blessings… I have noticed my boundaries getting clearer…

God wants me to handle the good soil formed in my life and not drain out the nutrients immediately, to sustain myself…

If I know how to be a joy to the world safely, then I am not going to perish….

Anyway, thanks for your encouragement… I am so blessed to have you…


Jesus was Broken for You, 11JUL – #209



I broke communion bread for the first time within my church as a servant recently. Although I had received communion many times since 100% accepting Jesus, this time was different – I served it….. I was blessed to serve the blood of Jesus with a smile – I couldn’t help but smile inside and out – I was so grateful for the surprise and intimate opportunity to share Jesus’s love with trusted friends – I smiled at those people whom I felt shared my now truth in understanding that salvation comes to true believers – I was so satisfied and my heart was so warm…

I smile especially because God is SO generous that He allowed me to see and feel all the smiles that are NOT for me but truly meant for HIM. He let me share in this – my daily bread…

At the end of the congregation sharing I broke one big piece for our awesome (and smiling) officiant – and then also remembered to rip an extra piece for our awesome (and smiling) video projectionist in the back… got to actually rip the bread… ripped it humbly but with a smile. Why does this act of sharing communion mean something to me? Why to us as the church? Why? Because when we break bread in a Communion community, we are actually giving up all the sins and angst in our hearts – and our pain is taken by Jesus in that briefest of moments – the only thing left in our hearts is a smile as well as a humble cry for Jesus’ pain of taking on the world’s distance from God… here is my devotion… God bless… Smiles…

Jesus was Broken for You, 11JUL

Jesus was gifted from God to absorb our pain, absorb our sins, and to show us the way to salvation.

When we break and eat bread in communion – we say “Jesus’s body broken for you” – we remember Jesus breaking bread at the Last Supper – we, like His apostles, are to remember Him. Jesus’ body broken for you – for me – yes – BROKEN – Jesus was broken, beaten, stabbed, tortured, whipped, dragged thru the streets, nailed and put on public display – body broken, spirit strong… Thorns in a crown, jeers, and a mocking sign “King of the Jews” – break his spirit they said – break him mentally for hours, days whatever it takes – that was more the goal of the mockers than for Him to have a quick painless death… Break His Spirit…

God’s true SPIRIT cannot be broken and He released Jesus’ SPIRIT for us.

Our sins are also breaking us. They weigh us down, then deaden us to the world’s needs and make us internalize our mercy towards ourselves instead of out to the masses.

Jesus says no matter what, the breaking we do to Him in body is just that, in body, we can NOT break His Spirit. We can not hide the love He has for us. We may try to shield ourselves from His salvation – we may deaden our pain with ignoring our sins – placating, medicating, soothing our pain away by turning to any means possible – except Jesus. Someone may have tired to drug Jesus with wine and gall to deaden the pain (perhaps even mercifully) but Jesus said NO. I feel that Jesus is saying: NO, I want ALL in ALL suffering – I want to feel ALL your pain and all your brokenness – I want you to remember ME by breaking ME and thrusting your pain onto ME – I have a cross and I will bear it – it is sufficient for you – I, Jesus, am sufficient for you – God’s Grace is sufficient!

Go and Sin no more… some sins are the fatal stab wound in the side, some are the tiny pricks of the thorns – Jesus is ever-willing to take it all – break HIM and heal yourself – break him open and know that in His blood that was shed for you that you will find the narrow path to salvation as He intercalates into your very being and becomes your sustaining SPIRIT.

We ought to be showing mercy to the masses – mercy to the body of Jesus – the body of Jesus is the church – ALL people are the church. If we are chosen and accept Jesus’ body into our own, then He wants us out with the people helping to bring them into His Father’s salvation, externalizing our mercy towards the sinners in the masses. Our forgiven sins are a road map to spirit-filled salvation for others, for the church, when we release our spirit for them.

When you take and break bread of Jesus you may SMILE – smile inside your heart. Jesus took your sins. Feel free to let your heart smile. God’s spirit will be there.

When you take and break bread of Jesus you may CRY – cry inside your heart. Jesus took your sins. Feel free to let your heart cry. God’s spirit will still be there.

When you climb up on your cross that you have carried all those years, when entering Heaven with smiles and cries you will be free. Jesus – freed.

I’m a free spirit

Jesus frees – Jesus is free – Jesus is for me

It’s Salvation not Satisfaction, God’s Shooting Stars and Skunks, 11JUL – #208 *



It’s Salvation not Satisfaction, God’s Shooting Stars and Skunks, 11JUL

I am SO reminded to not get greedy with God… Yes, I do need to stop complaining about these thorns in my side… Paul (2 Corinthians) says they are there to remind me to be humble – to allow me to hurt like Jesus – and to know that we are to focus on personal salvation NOT our personal satisfaction… less us more Jesus…

I watched the stars in the cooling summer evening – I was hoping to see a shooting star to answer me in my cry of questions – I have seen so many unexpectedly this year – all accompanying a profound questioning God thought. So I shouldn’t be surprised that I didn’t see one – God is NOT a side show – I need to stop being greedy demanding results from God… It’s just that God has blessed me daily with mostly joyous surprises… So I look for these signs in everything… Everything is God… God is Everything…

… instead tonight I got the strong whiff of a skunk – and I know what that means… go inside and stop your night dreaming of a shooting star miracle… Of course, this skunk smell really really recalled my memory of the time I sat one night to actively look for a meteor shower and a skunk walked within a foot of me… yeah – God laughs at me and my demands – skunks instead of shooting stars – yeah God, YOU have got some sense of humor… YOU will tell me and show me what I need to know when YOU determine I am ready to understand… It didn’t hurt to ask, right? But skunks?… I get that… Thanks GOD…

I am excited when things go my way, someone said results can turn into addictions – yeah, be careful… I should be satisfied with so much I have gained… Not to rush myself or God in HIS plans… it has been 7 months of gradual changes so I should NOT get greedy.. and YES I need to be more grateful for those thorns… because even though they hurt, at least I have them instead of nothing at all…

So is it just human of me to ache so much over my thorns?… I don’t want to use my thorns for a pity party… It’s just human to share angst… I am not a completely unsatisfied salvation-bound soul… I am super satisfied with the majority of the hand God has dealt me…

There’s no doubt that it is God and ONLY God who has made me feel beautiful on the inside… And these days He is working on the outside too – I have no one to credit but God and God’s influence on others for my strength… He clearly wants to make me into my best – to serve HIM not me.

God hooks me in even closer by letting me see and feel the smiles on people’s faces that are truly meant for God… He knows how to motivate me. He satisfies me.

Sigh… It’s God and God alone who can help relieve my pain from the thorns, not always by removing them, but allowing me to tolerate them… Yes, my attitude is the one thing I can change towards my thorns.

I have to stop begging God and just let God do HIS business HIS way – we are all on God’s time… not ours… I have to respect God, fearfully, of the hand He could have dealt me, of the replacement cards that I might get if I try to trade back some of mine.

Thanks for the vent God… I truly do praise YOU God. You have given me everything and more, including the stars and moon to watch over me… And the skunks too…

…and most importantly and amazingly God, You have given me (and all) Your only Son – You have made our salvation so satisfying… The Lord is my Sheppard, I shall not want…

Psalm 23 (KJV)

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Notice Christianity? How do I fulfill the Great Commission? 08Jul – #207



Ugh, I started this piece to process, not a big revelation piece – but processing as a newish Christian… But as a newish Christian thru I got a jolt of reality, a challenge to my motivation… Fits the essential question I was asking: so how do I fulfill the great commission to God’s will and not what is perceived to be my will?…

Notice Christianity? How do I fulfill the Great Commission? 08Jul

When one is a new Christian, do people notice? Should people notice? Should you tell them? How then is the great commission accomplished?

How do I fulfill the great commission? And do I set a goal? Or just let it happen?

I’ve lost weight, so to people who know me, they know I am proud and I am trying not to boast but let them know that if I could do it, they could too… Some notice and congratulate me, some notice and don’t mention it because that’s not proper etiquette… Obviously people you first meet wouldn’t know any different…

Same with being a new Christian… so to people who know me, they know I am proud and I am trying not to boast but let them know that if I could do it, they could too… Some notice and congratulate me, some notice and don’t mention it because that’s not proper etiquette to out someone else’s personal Christianity… Obviously people you first meet wouldn’t know any different…

And honestly, although I feel the miracle that happened to me and turned my world upside down, I am not that super different to the outside world… I did not go from drug addict to sober soul, from nasty person to nice person… if you ask people who know me they probably would tell you that I have strived to live a clean “goodies two shoes” life my whole life….It’s not like I went from a non-church goer to a church goer… I already felt like church was a home away from home, creeping around like a church mouse after hours, amazed at the humongous resource which is barely used such few hours in the day… Everyone knows me as a worker bee… My name in Hebrew means bee.

So, how do I fulfill the Great Commission?

I went from SUPER sinner to saved soul. Still a sinner… Saved people are still sinners, big time… So that’s why I wonder if any efforts I make to spread the good news may be construed as self-serving…. People who don’t know me might say: are you just trying to perpetuate a dying institution in corporate churches? They might say anything I do to promote how God has changed my life are “self-promoting” and fulfilling MY commission and not God’s… They may devalue me and cause me doubt…

I would say, “Don’t you see the golden opportunities that God has placed in my path, don’t you see that focusing on God caused great changes in my life and will cause great changes in your life?” And yet you can’t challenge people, they have to see for themselves…

Maybe God wants me to NOT boast about my salvation… But Paul says it’s ok to tell of others salvation… Hmmm… I know God made me a writer for this purpose of sharing his great power. I can’t think of any other reason why I would have to start writing. & I always say I didn’t come to God in crisis so there’s gotta be a point in all this that fits the Great Commission.

Maybe that’s why God gave me “a visual”, maybe I am losing weight to not just be healthier, but so that when people say “WOW” I can tell them privately, at the right moment, that it’s ALL BECAUSE OF GOD… That God gave me willpower and blessed me with motivation… I have been able to share that with maybe a dozen people who I truly did not know… I do now see how easy it is to become complacent, skipping exercise, eating mindlessly… This might happen to me as a Christian? Ugh, I don’t know… I know you have to actively prayerfully pursue Christian life, it’s not a one and done, it’s not a “saved and see ya whenever I get to heaven…” no, it’s keeping your eyes firmly fixed on Jesus and salvation… salvation is a marathon not a one time race in my opinion you can easily go wrong again… I know heaven is like that old Motel 6 ad… “we will always keep a light on for you” … but to become complacent again in Christianity would be a sin…

Setting goals: I didn’t choose to lose weight, just wanted more energy and get my act together… do I set a goal? Seeing results can make you do that. Or do I just let it happen? …. I also didn’t choose to become a hundred percent right with God, I didn’t choose the way God got my head on straight, but just God wanted me to credit my energy to HIM and get my act together… so I didn’t have to set a goal…. I did just have to let it happen…

God commissioned me to spread the good news… I have so many skills to use… I just want to try my best…

I should not set a Great Commission goal, but I did set a hope…. I stood there Feb 1st at the 911 memorial, knowing I could say “am YOURS now God”… I held onto the twisted beam and remembered 3,000 people perished that day and then I remembered that once Peter spoke one sermon that caused the simultaneous conversion of 3000 people… and I thought maybe God, just maybe, I can touch the lives of 3000 people… But I know it’s only if God chooses that… ONLY GOD knows HIS plan for me… I will just keep listening… I will just try my best… Thanks GOD for envisioning big things for me… Thanks God for forgiving me… Thanks GOD for finding me when I was lost… Thanks for keeping the LIGHT on until I get home…

Ephesians 3:20-21, NIV, Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

God Wants YOU in HIS Bouquet in Heaven, 08Jul – #206 *



Oh wow, such a spirit-led writing, woke up from awesome sleep at 5:40 with this scripture on the brain and God had wrote most of this in my head in between dreams… He had processed more meaning for me than I already had from this scripture, my ears open more and more to HIS sweet music. I wiped the sand from my eyes and blurry eyed found my phone…. Fast 30 minutes… Plus a little for editing and finding the scripture references that were already placed in my heart… Oh, how awesome I see now that this grain and weeds parable is immediately after the four soils one…. God’s linear progression today, my discombobulated ways… I am so grateful… And I still have sand in my eyes but my ears were open all night listening for God’s whisper… Here’s the piece, may it please God…

God Wants YOU in HIS Bouquet in Heaven, 08Jul

I’d like to take the wonderful opportunity to say thank you to God for placing such certain people in my path. I have and had so many wonderful people to learn from, pull the best characteristics from each one into my bouquet of life…. Blessedly more amazing people, than terrible people… But I learn from those folks as well… Learn to delineate the good from the bad traits within each person (because we all have both), the roses from the thorns, the grain from the weeds.

Matthew 13:29 “‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them. 30 Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’”

When God choose me, and when God choose you, he let all the seeds grow, grain and weeds alike… good grain people and weed people/temptations (planted by the evil one). When it is time to harvest, the weeds be set aside and burnt… And the best in you will be taken into the barn of God… into HIS eternal kingdom!!! Yes, you see God let’s those bad habits grow like weeds alongside your best grain characteristics. He dare not pull the weeds that intercolated into your being, entangled all around you, because the grain of who you are is/was not yet mature, is/was not yet firmly rooted in good soil.

When you are mature enough, which does not depend on your age, God will call you louder by name… God will lead you to Jesus… maybe others will cajole Him to come into your house and raise your life spirit like Jarius’ daughter (Luke 8:41-56)… Maybe you will cry out in painful screams of angst… When God says it’s time to wake up, you sometimes snooze thru the alarm, then angrily realize you weren’t ready to get up but God called you anyway. When you wake up earlier than the alarms, it’s refreshing and peaceful to see God coming for you, and you can be ready and waiting for HIM. You can work on your root growth deeper and obey his Word.

Before harvest God says: “it’s time to get right with the Lord…. It’s time to start pulling those weeds within you, so hold on tight to your roots planted in ME…” God’s harvest of the good in your crop will become easier and less painful if you cooperate with God and not work against him, if you identify and start eliminating the weeds in your life… If you dig deep and get to the roots of these vice-causing traits and clean out your soul.

It’s ok if you can’t get out all the weeds or invasive roots out before God takes you, it’s ok because God knows any harvest, no matter how small is still pleasing (Matthew 13:23). God will take you as you are. Be grateful and let God bless you with HIS joy.

God sees the Jesus within you, and takes you for HIS bouquet of heaven. God loves you and will keep you forever…

No Baggage – Just LOVE – God catching Fish, 06Jul – #205 *



No Baggage – Just LOVE – God catching Fish, 06Jul

I do love visiting with people, that’s just part of my nature… and having spent every other day for a short visit to my grandmother’s nursing home from my birth until age eleven, I understand the temporary nature of these visits, and the permanent situation they are in… I know the routine of flying in like a bird feasting on love and smiles and flying just as quickly out… Bringing the kids with me, maybe someday they will understand the power in a smile, a kind word… Some folks entering may be overwhelmed with the sadness of the people’s situation… Some may be caught up (especially with their own family members) in the guilt of such a short visit as well as feeling the pain of seeing them decline…and not being able to drop their baggage of the inevitably grave situation…

So entering as an outsider to “be the church” and visit briefly, you flutter in like a bird… are able to share Jesus’s pure love, while dropping your own baggage at the door… You are called to have compassion, as in Romans 12:15 (KJV) “15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”…   With this recent visit I was reminded how nice visiting the nursing home is… Nice isn’t sufficient a word… I LOVE visiting… The first man I met grabbed my hand and wished me peace. He became my go to guy for music inspirations. Such a sweet exchange… Smiles come from all the people, especially when they see the kids… I get to share smiles and hand holding, no prep work needed… Abundant Grace gifts of community all around. As a friend from our church led the service, my daughter prepped the communion cups… My shy guy just looked cute… I thought I would ask them what they wanted to sing, and being it was the 4th of July weekend we sang some patriotic songs… and I suggested Amazing Grace… they loved singing of course. After the service one woman said how much she appreciated the service, and could understand the message…

Many well wishes and compliments abound from these lovely people. We are not family, so there are no expectations, no entitlements, just affirmations of community, just free love to flow back and forth. After service they “dashed” off to bingo… I could envision them concentrating on their own boards while keeping a watchful eye over each other’s numbers… Keeping a watchful eye over each other’s lives… On the way out I met a man, a veteran, originally from Pittsburgh, who couldn’t hear me, said he was a paratrooper jumping out of planes and lost his hearing from that, and he didn’t get the health care he needed as a vet… He told me in Pittsburgh that he could catch fish just using his bare hands… Hmmm…. He just scooped his hands to show me how easy it is to catch fish.

These people held my hands as I held theirs but truly they captured my heart… Through the love showered on me, it reminds me that I am just one of the lucky fish that HE, our Heavenly Father, caught in HIS hands. No entitlement expected, just an affirmation that I appreciate of His LOVE. No baggage, no guilt, God scooped His hands and caught me while Jesus reached out to wake me from my slumber by holding my hand… Telling me I was just sleeping… Arise…. And now telling me to live my life in a way that when I am weak, I am strong… The scripture reading (2 Corinthians 12) was fitting and a comfort to me and hopefully to them… God knows there’s pain, anguish, loneliness, personal battles… a thorn in your side…. Paul reminds us to remember to stay humble, to stay weak so that we stay connected to God, and look to Jesus to show us the way to true inner joy and peace… The cross you carry, no matter how painful, is there to give you hope, it’s your way to your salvation into an eternal life….


2 Corinthians 12 (NIV) Paul’s Vision and His Thorn

12 I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. 2 I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. 3 And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— 4 was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. 5 I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 6 Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, 7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

God’s Alarm Clock, 03JUL – #204


God’s Alarm Clock, 03JUL

JUST like telling someone they really really need to be exercising, or getting their act together by quitting smoking or stopping one of their vices, or even (and especially) accepting Jesus, all these things are better understood and more likely to happen when the benefits are demonstrated as opposed to commanded or jammed down your throat. People (just like I did) have to actually open your eyes to see the light. No one can wrench your eyes open… God’s timing, OF COURSE, yet we can TRY to be the alarm clock to shake them and say “wake up!” And yet the best way to have them look for the light is to SHOW them how much you are blessed directly because you have seen the light and now the light is shining out of you… Show them “if it can happen to me, it can happen to you”… Show them how blessed you are from doing the simple act of getting your act together… Or should I say of allowing God to act together with you….And in you…