128

Email:  a scripture from JOB – emails with a trusted soul

I am so lucky to have such great support and positive influences on everyside of my life…

The seven sister stars in the Pleiades watched over me tonight as always, while I used them in an astronomy and greek mythology badge lesson.   The sister moon too was my guide, walked with me to my home cabin along the frozen lake…breathtaking after an amazing day with my sister moms

Beautiful beyond words…..

Thanks …Pleiades and me…God only knows what’s in store for me, huh?

I have never read Job, ever…probably should read that whole book! Thanks for your help on the Greek gods and constellations…the thirteen 13-year olds were very interested and I teamed them up for constellation researching and finding them in the sky… it’s a bit scary to step outside my comfort zone to have taught them… but I have been out of my comfort zone a lot lately, huh?

Job 38 NIV

The LORD Speaks
1 Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said: 2 “Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? 3 Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. 4 “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. 5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? 6 On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone– 7 while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? 8 “Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, 9 when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, 10 when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, 11 when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt’? 12 “Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place, 13 that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it? 14 The earth takes shape like clay under a seal; its features stand out like those of a garment. 15 The wicked are denied their light, and their upraised arm is broken. 16 “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep? 17 Have the gates of death been shown to you? Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death ? 18 Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this. 19 “What is the way to the abode of light? And where does darkness reside? 20 Can you take them to their places? Do you know the paths to their dwellings? 21 Surely you know, for you were already born! You have lived so many years! 22 “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow or seen the storehouses of the hail, 23 which I reserve for times of trouble, for days of war and battle? 24 What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed, or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth? 25 Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm, 26 to water a land where no man lives, a desert with no one in it, 27 to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with grass? 28 Does the rain have a father? Who fathers the drops of dew? 29 From whose womb comes the ice? Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens 30 when the waters become hard as stone, when the surface of the deep is frozen? 31 “Can you bind the beautiful Pleiades? Can you loose the cords of Orion? 32 Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons or lead out the Bear with its cubs? 33 Do you know the laws of the heavens? Can you set up [God’s] dominion over the earth? 34 “Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water? 35 Do you send the lightning bolts on their way? Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’? 36 Who endowed the heart with wisdom or gave understanding to the mind ? 37 Who has the wisdom to count the clouds? Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens 38 when the dust becomes hard and the clods of earth stick together? 39 “Do you hunt the prey for the lioness and satisfy the hunger of the lions 40 when they crouch in their dens or lie in wait in a thicket? 41 Who provides food for the raven when its young cry out to God and wander about for lack of food?

124 – (see 124, 125, 126, 127)

Bean seeds, a true test of my faith, 08Apr

ugh… so I know it is said that being a Christian is hard… well being a Christian and a scientist worrying about bean seeds is not the trial I thought I would have as a major conflict…but I do… ugh…

I tried really hard to both defend my science AND my faith tonight at my neighbor’s book club – they waited until my return from my trip to do THIS experiment because they knew I didn’t believe in it…the experiment is to project my energy to one half of the green been seeds to grow faster than the other… wrong to me on so many levels…

One could say I have a golden opportunity to demonstrate real scientific knowledge base  (because the 1960’s quote in the book about plants having feelings was totally debunked by MY OWN professor mentors in grad school, a Science paper detailed the flaws..) but how to not offend my great neighbor? She really so wants me to do this experiment and prove that i have the power over the plants – if I had that I wouldn’t have been in grad school for 7 years….  ugh!!!!!   the experiment goes against every scientific bone in my body – and then all those spiritual juices too…

I know she knows I am both a scientist and a Christian  – and  I have shared this amazing spiritual growth with her and she also is a Christian – she (as well as me) could certainly be called “a bundle of energy”…   my best friend says I don’t give myself enough credit for being my own force in the universe… Cuz I really do think I am good force in the universe… and I know the power of positive thinking… but i have always credited my good energy, good upbeat personality and positive influences on an amazing combination of my parents and family upbringing and the pure Grace of God and my appreciation of the Grace of God… always…

and now ever since my amazing spiritual growth of accepting Jesus as 100% real, instead of being 50:50, I have seen an explosion of blessings…  I am trying to give everything up to God… I have seen small miracles, seen repair to my spiritual life, working on repairs to so many things, I have dropped at least one maybe two pants size losing weight in only three months…if that’s not a miracle, I don’t know what is…I even fasted with NO problem Good Friday! Actually did about 36 hrs before I said, maybe I should eat something…my stress eating is practically gone, it creeped up lately, but I know the signs,  and reach out for gum or a pen top for my mouth to chew instead…

Sigh…. what am I going to do… these beans…  fruits…

I was planning on just laughing it off – but I think that is not good enough for me today – I have to act – hmmm… I will have to pray, definitely, how come I can’t give up this worry to God as easily as everything else? Why do I fear ruining a friendship? Or appearing to be ungrateful to a neighbor, when by worrying I’m really being disrespectful to God…

Will I tell them that i will plant the seeds, but leave the rest up to God….? Hmmm….Will I give it up to God, but then lie that I really did the experiment they asked? lie? Hmmm… Will I “accidentally” forget to water them? Hmmm… Will I purposefully send my “energy” towards their plants to make then all grow the same? Hehe… Will their dog eat the whole experiment? Science says this is a bioassay… there needs to be a HUGE sampling size, we don’t have that anyway, so not even a scientifically sound experiment…

The quote that goes with the experiment:
> “Don’t worry. Be happy.” Bobby McFerrin…  yeah I found that really annoying in the late eighties too… even if I believe it, sing it, it can still be annoyed right? Hmmm…
>
The author says “To change your life for the better, you simply connect with the power of the universe and then step back and allow it all to unfold with ease and grace.” Yeah, well I connected, and God said “stand your ground!”,  “You have a double reason to not throw your whole self to the trash…”,  “walk straight, be real, spirit and truth….” most importantly, trust God… I left the meeting to get my daughter from scouts, pulled up right behind this car, bumper sticker reads “in God we trust” yup… going to have to give it up to Him… I can’t turn my back on Him now…

I know they will not shun me for not doing the experiment, like them, I am being silly… but peer pressure is real, whether it has major consequences or not… and maybe just maybe they will feel MY dilemma when that look at their own beans… at least they protested when I said that my prayers would be wasted on beans when I should be praying for health healing for my friends… they say there are no wasted prayers… so maybe I am planting  seeds of faith not beans in this experiment???

I am giving it up… You got this one God? You got the biggest bioassay going anyway…

Maybe God will surprise us all… only God knows… It’s your experiment God, have fun…

————–

125 – emails about  Beans Experiment  (see 124, 125, 126, 127)

here is a cool conversation with a multi-million book seller author… go  figure!! Instead of stressing how l was going to tell my super nice neighbor that I didn’t do the green bean energy experiment, I decided to write the author instead to vent my concerns for science and for God.

… I have/had her ear… she did not address the scientific issues  (yet – she probably won’t) but we were having an interesting God conversation none the less… What God is up to I’ll never know but it certainly fun being part of the show… hey that rhymes 😉
have a great day! Start reading from the bottom. I emailed, she replied, I emailed again, she replied, and I don’t think she will reply to my 3rd, last, email….but who knows… her replies are a bit fluffy fur me, but oh well, at least I have a good story and a good witness to why I gave the whole experiment up to God…
>
> ———- Forwarded message ———-
> From: “debbie > Date: Apr 14,
> To: “P
>
>> Rome fell… and many religions are sadly failing to hold up to Jesus’ greatest commandments.  All roads should lead to God… There are good intentions in many church people, but that “not judging” aspect is hard for so many… Jesus’ greatest commandment was to LOVE. And even though by default, that means not judging… people do forget that, sadly. That’s what keeps people from coming into church, they don’t want to be judged (there is a really fitting seminar I attended about this : xxxxxxxxx)

I was just in the Czech Republic, King Charles the 4th, Holy Roman emperor in the 1300’s, would probably say all paths lead not to Rome but to Bohemia! But even with hundreds of gorgeous cathedrals, drawing millions of tourists to gauk at the gold, the czech people have mostly no religion.  My Czech relatives are half Christian and half atheist. (I had an epic journey to meet them after we reestablished connection after over 50 years of lost contact).

I would call myself a “recovering Catholic” having lost my religion when I married outside my faith to (God-forbid, LOL) a Methodist.  I do enjoy the Methodist church I attend, and religions are important to give structure and teaching in the basic principles of faith, but it is one’s spirituality that fulfills. It’s one’s own faith that will sustain you for your life.

And, it is in the one on one personal connections where two or three meet that I find God the most… in those wonderful intimate conversations about faith. When you compare the mega churches, were the people never even get to meet their pastor, to our small community churches – where not only does your congregation and pastor know you, they know how to connect with you individually…well it’s clear that connections are key. I myself (with this amazing recent spiritual growth) have about 12 pastors on speed dial… it’s awesome… but even so, it’s the simple small connections that I make to others, adults and children (and child-like souls of special needs individuals) which are the most fulfilling… where the joy amplifies… and where I see that being a child of God and a humble servant like Isaiah and especially Jesus is where it’s at!

I know you are so busy, and I truly appreciate you taking the time to answer my email. Your book, and my neighbor’s life improvement club,  have been true tests to my faith, showing me where to draw my faith lines and not fearing standing up for God (and for science too!), and opportunities to witness to them how God has enriched my life beyond my wildest dreams.
I hope and pray you have a good support system. I will continue to pray for your good fortunes and writings… I would love to see a book about YOUR faith journey some day… I will send you mine when I get it published… I would love to share a couple pieces with you if you would like.

Take care.
Blessings and God’s Grace always.
Debbie

>> On Apr 14, 3:30 AM, “P wrote:
>>>
>>> Hi again Debbie,
>>>
>>> I remember what a Catholic nun once told me. Only 2 things Jesus really said: “forgive” and “don’t judge.”
>>>
>>> All paths lead to Rome.
>>>
>>> Have a beautiful day,
>>>
>>> P

On Apr 13,, at 9:15 PM, debbie wrote:

Hello, when i saw that your website said that you have email pile the size of Mount Everest, I said “Really God?” Throw Mount Everest in there? How fitting…  because this year our Vacation Bible School theme is “Everest – Conquering Challenges with God’s Almighty Power!” Well I’m said, ” I know God can move mountains, as he certainly has done in my life, so, let’s see if my God of Mount Everest can reach her email Mount Everest!”  LOL – God came thru!

Thank you for the kind words of reassurance.  I am so glad that you realize that you are a God-led being – and I can easily see that you have been blessed immensely in your success. Truly i see that my neighbor Kim, who is a HUGE fan of yours, has already achieved a positive personality and her family and her friends have been blessed by her uplifting spirit and zest for life! She is extremely generous with her time and resources – and also has the desire to share that joy of life with others. And even though I don’t know you, I appreciate that you appear to intend to uplift your readers, so thank you for that.

As you can understand, I have not been thrilled with the “experiments”, looking for certain kinds of cars is ok,  and actually i have been doing that experiment for years, finding Subaru Foresters .. But specifically I was not able to do or believe in this green bean experiment, let alone the coat hanger one.  It never entered my mind that this was a proper outlet for my “energy”… and Yes, I did stress over how to approach this conversation with my neighbors,  both before the experiment and also in preparation to the explaination that I was planning to give next week – about my objections, but mostly concerned about their misguided faith. And I hate to appear rude or condescending… by criticizing mistrust in something that doesn’t seem God-led…  Of course I know they would easily accept my unwillingness to put myself into this experiment, they are nice people after all – no harm no foul – but still, i want to explain to them both the scientific and spirit-led reservations i have.. And i have been determined to tell them that i stopped stressing about the situation by giving that stress up to God.  Life is HIS experiment, not always ours…  God is not the co-piot – He is the pilot…
Scientifically, I am concerned about your use of a quote and the concepts of de-bunked “experimental results” that plants have ESP and feelings.  I still question this of you because you didn’t address it from my first email.  Either the lie detector test was a display of scientific control incompetence OR sensationalism (and i can even see now an image in my head of Uri Geller faking bending spoons on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson…). I believe it was the former, bad experimental design, so how much research, I curiously ask, did you do into this debunked set of work?

Spiritually, if i did try this “experiment”, i would be turning my back to not only my scientitfic upbringing, but also to my strong faith in God.  And i must tell you of this awesome spiritual growth i have had recently where i have a newly-expanded faith in  Jesus as real and in Jesus’s teachings about God… and WOW – i have been truly blessed since then!

Jesus and God give true hope…  As Jesus took on the role of a servant to bring people back to God, we too must try to give people real hope.

I only yesterday participated in a Sunday school lesson on 2nd Peter, warning about false prophets…and used Uri Geller as well as the green bean experiment as examples of a false prophet.  To put it plain and simple,  I feel the bean “experiment” gives false hope.

Another great example to live up to is the servant role taken on by Isaiah   I can see that the role of the servant to bring people back to God is a crucial one repeated in the bible  BUT, i see that one needs to be humble to be a servant, have energy yes, but one must appreciate where the true energy source comes from… this energy is from God.

So I hope you continue to turn to God for your future writing just as I have turned to God with an amplified result of great joy. I too have been writing…  I had begun this writing as my processing of how God is stirring people around me and working in my life.  At some point I’m sure I will publish them, but now i share with about 100 close friends. My writings (over 100) have been both meaningful to me as well as to others who can appreciate the corrective action God has placed on me to turn my head around.
>>>> So I will always try to humbly tell of the real hope that the true God had brought me as opposed to false hope that false prophets may throw your way.  It’s NOT gonna be easy…. I know that you can’t please all the people all the time, but you have to stay true to God’s word.

Good luck in all your future writings.
God bless
Debbie

Isaiah 50:4-9New International Version (NIV)
>>>> 4 The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue,
>>>>     to know the word that sustains the weary.
>>>> He wakens me morning by morning,
>>>>     wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed.
>>>> 5 The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears;
>>>>     I have not been rebellious,
>>>>     I have not turned away.
>>>> 6 I offered my back to those who beat me,
>>>>     my cheeks to those who pulled out my beard;
>>>> I did not hide my face
>>>>     from mocking and spitting.
>>>> 7 Because the Sovereign Lord helps me,
>>>>     I will not be disgraced.
>>>> Therefore have I set my face like flint,
>>>>     and I know I will not be put to shame.

>>>> On Mon, Apr 13, at 11:09 AM, P  wrote:
>>>>> Dear Debbie,
>>>>>
Thanks for your thoughtful email. God is definitely my copilot, as well. I may use different terms (God doesn’t care–he’s definitely not the judgmental prick many believe) and I my see him differently. But my highest goal is to be connected always. I believe He (I’m using the masculine pronoun because that’s probably how you would see it, right?) created us to continue to create Himself. So I believe we are meant to use this energy that is of Him to his greater glory.
>>>>>
>>>>> I just follow His instructions.
>>>>>
>>>>> Hope this makes sense.
>>>>>
>>>>> But just so you know, God is my boo.
>>>>>
>>>>> Giant blessings,
>>>>> P

>>>>> On Apr 10, at 5:31 PM, Debbie  wrote:
>>>>> > Message: please let me comment in concern not total criticism… Please tell me your true spiritual feelings about God and his power. My favorite quote of the day is “if God is your co-pilot, you’re sitting in the wrong seat.”
>>>>> >
>>>>> > I have to wonder how you can sometimes talk about God in your book but much of the time have experiments which circumvent HIS power and replace it with personal power. I know I have energy but I also know it’s from my upbringing and God working through me… my neighbor, who is running our book club, loves your books and she truly is an energy source… but the coat hanger experiment which “worked” for her one time then failed to “work” the second time for many if us is indicative of false hope placed instead of true rigor.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > As for the green bean experiment, my PhD in plant biology scientifically will prevent me from believing that I could have power over the plants… if I did it wouldn’t have taken me so many years to get through grad school, haha. the lie detector test with the plants has been debunked years ago, please see science paper . So one doesn’t even have to bring God into this question but I will anyway and say “how do i turn my back on God and believe I have the power over the plants?”. Yes, I am already an energetic person and yes, I do think that my thoughts change the world… my world… but I will never negate the power of God in shaping me to be who I am. I am concerned about those people searching and being misled and then having great disappointment when their energies don’t fulfill their desires…
>>>>> > Thank you for your time… please contact me at the attached email.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > Refs: Kenneth Horowitz, Donald Lewis and Edgar Gasteiger. (1975). Plant Primary Perception: Electrophysiological Unresponsiveness to Brine Shrimp Killing. Science, 189. pp. 478-480.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > http://www.nytimes.com/news/the-lives-they-lived/2013/12/21/cleve-backster/
>>>>> > Time: April 10, at 5:31 pm
————————————————————-

126  (see 124, 125, 126, 127)

Thanks again, Pastor, not only for the UMW march presentation, but for how this scripture you taught at the meeting from mark 8 fits perfectly for the issue of the author who wants you to believe that you have power and energy over green beans…and making coat hangers move just by your mind… and wow, when my neighbors urged me by saying “you just are afraid to show yourself that you have the power to do this…” Well, that felt like the serpent tempting Eve!!!!… whew…!!!

“what good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul!!!!”

Wow, spot on advice then and especially now!
Thanks,
Debbie

———————————————-

127  (see 124, 125, 126, 127)

Beans in God’s Subaru, 16APR

Hmmm..guess which beans are mine in the photo… I gave them all no energy, or at least not differential energy took dune and not others… but the stress about explaining it to my neighbors I gave that it up to God…thank God…

They all did the energy vs no energy, and saw no difference….hmmm… not surprising to me. Sorry about that false hope folks…

The best was they all agreed they didn’t think I would actually do the experiment, cause I had already told them my science and faith…and I have been real honest about my faith to them, how could I not credit God for my high energy!

And yes they were suitably impressed that I wrote the author and she wrote back, twice…

But if you are as amazed as they were about how tall mine grew compare to theirs, don’t be…. as much as it made me smile, at the end I told him the real difference why my beans grew three times as tall as theirs… it was because I grew them in my Subaru 😉 it’s a greenhouse of warmth and good stuff happening in that Subaru.

God bless the Subaru 😉
God bless giving it up to God !
Amen!

Good Psalm:

Psalm 104

24 How many are your works,Lord!

In wisdom you made them all;

the earth is full of your creatures.

25 There is the sea, vast and spacious,

teeming with creatures beyond number—

living things both large and small.

26 There the ships go to and fro,

and Leviathan, which you formed to frolic there.

27 All creatures look to you

to give them their food at the proper time.

28 When you give it to them,

they gather it up;

when you open your hand,

they are satisfied with good things.

29 When you hide your face,

they are terrified;

when you take away their breath,

they die and return to the dust.

30 When you send your Spirit,

they are created,

and you renew the face of the ground.

31 May the glory of the Lord endure forever;

may the Lord rejoice in his works—

32 he who looks at the earth, and it trembles,

who touches the mountains, and they smoke.

33 I will sing to the Lord all my life;

I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

123
OOBLECK, Standing on Solid Ground, 12APR

Fun stuff, oobleck from cornstarch and water, a non-Newtonian solid, acts like a solid (squeeze it) and a liquid (let it ooze thru your hand)… it was one way we demonstrated that it is not good to stand on shaky ground, that it is better to stand on firm, solid ground, by knowing and following the words and wisdom of God and doing the right things, including those from second Peter: faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection, love.

Unfortunately, shaky ground, like the oobleck or the foam blocks we tried to stand on… are like putting your trust in things/people other than God…

Here are the passages on false prophets:

Matthew 7:24-27 New Living Translation
Building on a Solid Foundation
24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
———–
2 Peter 1:
3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.

10 Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, 11 and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
——————–
2 Peter 2 New International Version (NIV)
False Teachers and Their Destruction
2 But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them—bringing swift destruction on themselves. 2 Many will follow their depraved conduct and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. 3 In their greed these teachers will exploit you with fabricated stories. Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping.

4 For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but sent them to hell, putting them in chains of darkness to be held for judgment; 5 if he did not spare the ancient world when he brought the flood on its ungodly people, but protected Noah, a preacher of righteousness, and seven others;

121
This post-Easter week I checked back in with myself… see where I am going… hopped back on the “Christmas merry go round” (one I wrote about in the Easter roller coaster piece) for comfort after my extended Easter roast coaster… it was a week of remembering all this things I have been neglecting, trying to jump back into work, a week where I didn’t take good enough care of myself from a wicked cold, of pausing and thinking….”where am I going?”

Where am I going?, 11APR-12APR
I guess I wonder if a golden opportunity opened and is shutting, or will shut… a balance between whether I continue writing for me, or for an audience I think I could reach…. whether I did just pause for me and it is time to be less needy and greedy for conversations with God that take the form of writing… yet my corrective action never had anything to do with writing, that was just the way I could empty/dump my brain down, to let God keep filling it up…hmmm…

Perhaps I was granted the luxury of taking the last few months as “Me time” (corrective action by God from Christmas to Easter, convenient huh? Alpha and Omega?…)… and I certainly was on an accelerated growth spurt!!!… Is it because that was the only time God could fit it in with the hectic, but awesome, life that HE has picked for me?… and certainly HE leaves me with no doubt over tasks put in front of me, spring is crazy, good, busy!!! So there is no need for me to rush myself right now, I have got plenty to do! I am never bored, ever!… NO need to rush God… The best quote this past week, my husband shared with me: ” If you say God is your co-pilot, then you are in the wrong seat.”

So, timewise I need to focus over life things like family, work, VBS, UMW, finances, and those times that I am the only one who can fulfill the kids and my husband’s, and my extended family’s needs…

So, do I take less time, or smaller chunks, for just “me time”? am I just justifying it as “me plus God time”?… and yet the “me and God time” felt SO good…. made me feel like I could change the world… but I have to be realistic…. just like everything in life, I can’t do everything… I have to focus on what I can impact… and especially now focus on what it is in my own world that needs me for me, where there is no substitute…. sigh……

So why do I worry so much about stuff? But I do…. simply worrying about whether I take too much me time IS taking too much me time….. sigh… I know the scripture, don’t worry, just pray…

Taking “me time”…Look at the vacation I took for me, visiting my family in Europe, people said I deserved it… did I? Well, yeah I did… because I know was also for my family in Europe too…. the joy for thirty plus people amplified my joy… they say they miss me more than I miss them, and there are so many of them, and just one of me… So “me” time is not just for me, .I would have regretted not going so much much more, especially if my elderly cousin had passed before I was there, and it was not a hardship for anyone anyway, the money was a bonus, the kids were all right, epic journeys are just that…epic and worthy…. and worthy to be repeated…

As I was sad to leave the new family I met, I knew it was just a window of opportunity… So likewise, I am sad thinking about taking less writing and less me time….even if I question if it might be time to move on….and get over myself… I wonder if this feeling of “i can change the world!” will subside? Maybe not… but maybe fall back to realistic levels? Yet, I do change my worlds, everyday, by being me, by using my God-given talents to organize, to rally, to lead by example… of course by tuning into people who need me to listen, like my kids, sometimes by showing that I am not to proud to be picking recycling out of a trash can, sometimes by simply having plastic Easter eggs hot glued to my car and making people smile… “Think Globally, but Act Locally”, great bumper sticker… great philosophy…

Thanks for listening; there are no easy answers, just keep moving… others remind me… I remind myself… and I remind others, for years using the MASH episode where Father Mulcahy questions his impact, and says: “It doesn’t matter whether you feel useful or not when you’re moving from one disaster to another. The trick, I guess, is to just keep moving.” I can see him looking up – then moving into the night and the blessed snowflakes.

So, it’s ok for me to pause on occasion, praise that I move not from disaster to disaster but mostly from joy to joy….and praise that praying too can also be done while moving…

I will keep trying to give up these new questions to God just like before… praise Him like before that I DO have questions… questions are good…. that’s the only way to clear my mind… So God can fill it again…

OK, keep moving…

 

———

post email to a friend:

122
So, Mxxx, I really did appreciate your comment after the message…. about God providing… and Jesus saying “just do it”….. your message was spot on…. I needed to stop worrying about where I am going and just keep going… that reduction in stress of not worrying has been amazing… really knowing the Lord will provide…. that’s awesome….

Keep up the good messages

120 ( a long “babbling thought”)
People Watching, 10APR
One of the phrases my Mom always uses is that she “loves people watching”. Yes, before there were smartphones and noses buried in online posts, there was “people watching”… sitting at the mall, sitting at the doctor’s office, waiting in a restaurant, and yes, sitting in church….
Yes, I people watch… all the time… it’s my upbringing – I was told to watch people and react to them and take heed of how I effect them… These experiences even made me think of a potential career, being a psychologist… I always wanted to know: “what makes people the way they are?” “What makes the brain tink?” Yes, people make me think…

Another passion/hobby of mine (that could have been a career) is weather watching… a big thunderstorm is rolling in right now, while I write this… big cracks of lightning excite me, but would make others cowl… if nothing else in life I have learned to go with the flow and accept things… live the serenity prayer, or at least try to… Lightning, that you cannot change… you have to change your attitude towards it… “crappy weather” or “wow, exciting lightning! Our first spring storm!!! Spring is here!!”…. Yeah, it’s all in the attitude… Some folks are so strong and confident but wow, in a thunderstorm? WOW – a different person…scared to death! But me?…well, I would sit on the outside porch in college and watch the ball lightening roll in… yeah – I am that kind of person – watch and feel the awesome lightening from just a safe enough distance… It’s all in the attitude… like riding a rollercoaster… live is living for the thrill of it all…

Weather watching, People watching… yup, take a step back and watch and listen… you will learn volumes about life.

I recently revisited/relistened to the four sermons that made a big impact on me while growing through this burst of spiritual growth… they were on CD and about a year old when I heard them the first time… but talk about timing… no wonder they gave me food for thought, they were meaty and to the point and since my ears were opening, I really heard them…

The one sermon that talks about identifying yourself as a Christian, the sermonist (now a friend too) states: “once you identify yourself as a Christian, people will watch you”… YUP! That goes both ways – you watch people – and they watch you…

I have learned so much about people and about myself – good people and bad people – even good people who do bad and vice versa… What makes them tink? So, YES – I watch and YES, I have felt an amplification of people watching ME in my Christian role… And yet, this is not new, I always did have people watching me – I have been in leadership roles at the church and at work and in the community for years and years… Over fifteen years ago now, after I finished my degree, I became a member and then later secretary and president of my local service organization. This was and is my FATHER’S club, and after much strife with previous acceptance of women into this club, I seemed to have no problem becoming the first woman secretary and then the first woman president. See, I learned more about how to be a leader from WATCHING the leaders as well as from watching the followers… and they learned from watching me – they knew what kind of person I was – they appreciated my organizational skills and accepted my leadership and my leadership style… (see, I grew up in THAT club – it gave me about fifty extra doting uncles – to add to my nine blood family uncles)… I had NO problem slipping into a leadership role since I knew that my followers were also my leaders… I knew when to lead, and when to follow, and when I could pick on people, and when I could get other people to pick on others in fun… I really enjoyed that amplification of confidence/ego, and I appreciated all their support… I left the club when I moved away but I took them with me in spirit.

People always watched me, I know, and just like I wait on people to talk to, they wait on me too… to talk to me after church services, before and after church meetings… These are people who want to share something exciting or concerning… I need to take time for these people, because I am one of them too…. I too look for people I need to catch up with, and I go up to talk to people who finish lectures (just recently at a big event I connected with the presenters and email them regularly now), I like many go both to thank them and to connect with them on a more personal level…

It is great when people do this in all aspects of life… An example for myself was at a scientific meeting, I finished a 45 minute seminar presentation to about 300 fellow scientists then afterwards, I essentially “held court” like many speakers for at least another sixty minutes … a few people want to pick your brain for their science issues, a few want to say how excited they are that you have identified the same questions in your research as they have, and a few just want to hang out and listen to the answers you give others… it is really the best part of the presentation….the rehashing… you may have touched the thoughts of the hundreds in the seminar, but these people – you have really reached and they are SO MOTIVATED to reach back for more….

And now, I notice a new amplified volume of watching… in my new Christian role… having identified myself as 100% with Jesus. I notice that I catch more people’s direct eye contact now that I have stepped out in a big way… I am putting myself out there – slowly… I know it is still in easy, safe, incremental steps, but still I am getting out there – more and more people are watching… some watching in smiles, some watching in concern, some watching to see, God-forbid, if I fall… People watching… watch them watch you!

 

 

117
Email about Easter (3rd service – contemporary) to a friend:
So…
I got to stand up to share in front of the contemporary service, about it being my first REAL Easter… the smile on my friend’s face in the row right next to me, so reassuring… I said I praised the praise band for being a major part (and said I was thankful for you, and my whole church family), that it was awesome and would be happy to share with anyone who wanted to know more… And Pastor said, to the audience, a warning that you better carve out a big chunk of time, and bring a sandwich, and a cot for a nap….. LOL…. awesome….

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118
Email to a friend, Pxxx
thanks for that big smile you had – and I caught out of the corner of my eye – when I said it was my first REAL Easter in the service – I did have courage to be bold yesterday – but that smile helped me keep smiling and I tried to keep it short and sweet – especially since over half that room already knew my story (i have been kinda busy telling folks LOL) and i loved how pastor said bring a sandwich and a cot… LOL…. I do appreciate the time he has given me – as well as everyone and like the 12 pastors I have “on speed dial” – sweet – now I will return the favor and spend time with folks who would normally use Pastor’s time – my extension of concern will help buffer his time crunch, I hope,

but anyway, thanks for that reassuring smile yesterday… it gets easier and easier each day to share – i was able to catch up with like a dozen people yesterday to tell them – including someone who I had been meaning to chat with for a couple of months… it really is better to share individually with folks – and be able to listen to their stories too…one of these days I want to sit down and hear yours!!!

smiles!

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119
Apr8
I had a good catch up conversation with someone about my recent trip but also where I could mention ever so gently that I was appreciated by this branch of the family for not only being me, but also for being a Christian… My friend says he can tolerate my level of religion, lol…I tred lightly always, and he knows how super active I am in church, and he can appreciate the social aspects of it. I did get him to agree that it is the distaste of religions that is what ruins it for so many…And that there is a difference between religion and faith…

Later he said: “Thanks for catching up today! Don’t take my joke too much to heart. I respect your beliefs.”