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Tuesday, December 30
Subject: God of Matter – The Holy Spirit, The Blarney Stone, and my namesake – the Song of Bernadette

again the glue finally came for this piece – this one took more industrial strength glue – and I had to set it down twice to set up  – but I knew I needed to finish it and send it off – I want to return to my “regularly scheduled programs” return to this new post-Christmas/pre-VBS state…get onto Girl Scout cookie season – and oh yes – regular sleep patterns, LOL – was my own fault for crashing at 7pm and turning in for the night – 4 hours of the most restful sleep – but up at midnight –  2am now and WIDE awake – luckily I only have a small chunk to finish – the piece of the Holy Spirit vs. the Blarney Stone….that piece can stand on its own  and I may send that to you separately….  and I have tomorrow off – so I don’t feel guilty for wrapping this up at this “Godly” hour… I am telling myself that this is the last writing for a while – I have a few more titles written down – but I want to let myself take a break.
God of Matter – The Holy Spirit, The Blarney Stone, and my namesake – the Song of Bernadette, 30DEC

 

Everything that matters in life is made of matter. Three parts: gas liquid solid, plus plasma too! All that matters comes from God. God was there at the Big Bang. God is the end all and be all. God got the ball rolling and exists to this day.

God as matter is un-definable and yet we as human are drawn to pigeon hole everything we see – we back God into a corner – we fail to understand that all things are possible – the scripture: “All things are possible for one who believes.”  – the colloquialism that I misquote would be: “if you believe in God nothing needs explanation- if you don’t believe in God – no explanation would suffice”

If God existed as the plasma state – then this state that started the big bang – the state before all other phases – the Greek word plasma stands for “anything formed”.  the quark-gluon plasma state is thought to have existed immediately after the Big Bang.  It is not a contradiction to have the Big Bang and God – I refute how the atheists would put it: “on the first day man created God and it was not good”. God is good and not to be pigeon holed –  those who shun the existence of evolution fail to see the goodness of God in an amazing flexible design that was either planned out or allowed to exist – that life was and is allowed to evolve – that it was and is allowed to play out and continue to play out on earth. If earth is God’s sandbox of the universe and that predates our understanding and OUR existence then who are WE to say that the beginnings of life can’t have the co-existence of simplicity and complexity. It’s not just the fossil record, the complexity of the genetic codes within every living creature but current daily alterations in the genetic makeup of our living beings that prove that God is so complex.  Evolution is not something that happened long ago – it is a continuous non-stop process – it has just played out over billions of years and continues every day. We cannot even hope to grasp the concept of billions of years – just as we cannot and should not pigeon hole what and who God is.

States of Matter – Yes we do try to break God as a whole down into parts – to help US explain what we see – and yet this is probably the wrong way to approach God – but sometimes it helps US to split of God into parts that we understand.

If God could be defined like we define matter – then one of these multiple phases would be the solid phase… This phase is also called God – but its “our God” – God in what we see, interpret…our personal internal TV or tablet screen – our interpretation – what we bring to the table – ourselves lighted by the non-extinguishable light.  often god is dimmed in people who shun this lights existence – covered by baggage – covered by deliberate cloths thrown over the light…  but God IS.  who and how we see God as solid – our teachings – our interactions – our delivery of our own making… What about those leprechauns and angels and ghosts – do they exist?  are they transitional states of matter? do they fill in the gaps that we don’t understand?  Do you believe in angels? Do you believe in miracles? I do.

I am not exactly my confirmation namesake, Bernadette Soubirous, who was canonized for her vision of the blessed virgin Mary – Our Lady of Lourdes in France..  I certainly loved the movie “the Song of Bernadette” and maybe I would have loved to be her  – to see a vision – to be the miracle – but I am not her, as she didn’t ask for these visions – she didn’t ask to be a vehicle for the masses to come closer to God. The peasant girl is portrayed in the movie as an uneducated sweet simple girl – one who never asked for the visions – one who suffered a great deal of pain quietly – one who died early never failing her belief in the vision. She didn’t know what she saw – but she knew most definitely saw this beautiful woman. this is the form that showed up on her TV screen in her mind.

No I am not her – she didn’t call out for this vision of the beautiful woman – I on the other hand have been on a recent quest to find meaning to the miracles I see – the small and the big – the ordinary and the unexplained. Are they miracles or every day coincidences – or is everyday a miracle? “So you were chosen and called out for prayer” – the movie Bernadette didn’t call out for prayer – she just was forced to share this vision because she didn’t know why the others didn’t see her too…  I am thankful for the miracles I have seen – and I feel I have seen many (those  brought on by good science, doctors who heal the critically ill, and the unexpected God-sightings which occur when you wake up and watch God all around us – and oh, that time I didn’t smash into that Fed Ex truck head on when I was texting while driving – thank you God for my life…got to see it real fast before my eyes that day). So are these visions? are they like those that Bernadette’s woman asked her to share with the world? Or are these everyday miracles that are shared with us? Because we all have them – they are shared with us when we “tune in” our internal TV screens…

I appreciated our pastor’s sermon message last sunday – that there are gaps in the bible – where we don’t know what Jesus was like between birth and 12 years, between 12 years and 30 –  and it was good to hear that – the gaps could be there intentionally – that we don’t really need to know… and that we need to focus on the other parts. I remarked to three different people that I enjoyed the message and I got three different interpretations – none of which were my own – everyone has their own TV screen – their own intake and processing – their own spin on God.

So – I am ignorant on much of the scholarly interpretations of the bible – essentially I am like Bernadette of the movie – in that I don’t know most of my catechism – and what I have learned affects what comes up on my internal TV screen. But one does not need catechism to know God –  I know God – and I see God in ways not written down.

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God as liquid would be Jesus – perhaps we are a desert – we cannot conceive of the life giving water that is so dried up and nonexistent in parts of the world and parts of our lives – this is a working piece and this piece of my state of matter is more dry than I would like.  probably too dry for many people – I can’t write fully about that living water yet – I know the stories  – maybe someday I will be able to fill this section out more with my personal experiences with Jesus….I think it is most difficult for me because I am hung up on small details – I will get there I pray – but this may take a whole lifetime.

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God as a gas would most totally be the Holy Spirit – I so 100% believe in the Holy Spirit – this is an easy one! Oh… but to know what is comes from the Holy Spirit and what does not – that is the problem…

What is the Holy Spirit?  Does it predate consciousness? What is the consciousness that dwells in us and allows us to transcend human physiology – why do we think? – Why do we communicate in the way we do?

Is the Holy Spirit flames, wind and power – is it the ability to speak in different languages – to speak in the native tongues of the masses – or is it the ability to speak to one person at a time?

Why do I want the Holy Spirit – or why do I want to understand whether it is the holy spirit is guiding me and when it is not just the Blarney Stone’s gift of gab…

I have kissed the Blarney Stone – kissed it twice actually – I needed a refresher kiss after using up all my first spell of blarney in graduate school…  this second dose of blarney has served me well – I do have the gift of gab – I love to talk – I notice when people listen – I hope I don’t overtalk – I then remember my shyness as a child and wonder if I am trying to make up for it now….  one old friend of my parents remarked when I was young at how fast I spoke – and they said – it was probably because my father spoke so much that I had to rush to get a word in edgewise….  my family is full of big talkers – big personalities –  we love life and love people – and want to share in all things exciting.

But the Blarney Stone and the Holy Spirit – they don’t always mix well… blarney gives a speech of boastfulness, of animation and engagement…  the Holy Spirit has to keep it real – has to inspire on a personal level – has to find the right timing for the right words…  the holy spirit is what I want…

It has never been so evident for me when the holy spirit has led my words – versus when it is just me that is trying to fill dead air time – only certain people have been privy to my private conversations with God – I don’t know why just some and not others – I know that my mind has decided who to trust – I have gone out on a ledge a couple of times – testing the waters and found – nope – time to hold you tongue…  its not like people want to hear me – its not like I want to hear the intimate conversations of others  between them and God – but I do want people to know that I do have these conversations –

The Blarney Stone and the fire in my soul will serve me well for my life – has helped me be a leader – has helped me rally the troops – but my Holy Spirit connection impacts people when I speak from the heart – when I quiet down – and share a small secret from my soul…

I don’t know if you could call it a miracle but certainly I appreciate when something falls into my hands at the right place at the same time – like two days ago when I pulled a loose piece of paper out of my purse – one that must have landed there sometime in the last few days spent at church – a paper that was not mine and I have no reason to own except I was probably cleaning something up and grabbed it to recycle it .. this paper was about the holy spirit.  I have mediated on the meaning of the holy spirit for the last month or more –  and only one day prior to accidentally finding that piece of paper I had already written the partial title of this piece – the blarney stone and the holy spirit… coincidence? God sighting? freaky!  let’s just call it god-incidence…

This except from a book chapter  titled “Forgotten God”; “Real Relationship” by Francis Chan, page 110-11, a xeroxed page hand marked up on oct 26  (my cousin’s birthday…my special cousin who had made me a cross necklace this year – God probably told him I needed help in that area). This paper was probably for a bible study – but I think I found it in a pew or in the choir loft…I had never heard of the author – but now see from the web that he has youtube videos and is about my age….

“Part of His [Christ’s] answer to how we are to have peace and be comforted is through the provision of the Holy Spirit, the other Counselor, who He promised would come once He left.” … in the xerox copy the words “the other Counselor” are squiggle underlined – someone really got some meaning out of this part.

“It makes sense that Jesus would say it’s to our advantage to have the ‘other counselor.’ After all, Jesus merely walked beside the disciples the Spirit would actually enter their human bodies. (John 14:17)” … the word “merely” was circled.

“The Spirit of God is in you; that is why Jesus said it was better for Him to go and the Sprint to come. Don’t walk away from this. Delve into it and let it impact you deeply, first internally and then outwardly.”

 

Boom – if God were bowling, I heard a strike in my head !

Those lines:   “Jesus said it was better for Him to go and the Spirit to come”  – “Jesus suffered a grueling death so that I could have the amazing gift of the Holy Spirit. How dare I take that for granted.”

….There is it – I closed my circle of matter – Holy Spirit (GOD) at the beginning predating the Big Bang – Jesus in the middle – Holy Spirit (GOD) here now.

….Don’t pigeon hole God anymore …

I am trying not to worry what form of matter He takes – that is really what matters.