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07JAN – emails with a dear friend

Debbie –

It is always a journey and it is different for each of us.  I am glad you are finding a way that works for you.

T

From: debbie
Date: Wednesday, January 7
To: T
Subject: Re: Question of faith

oh yes – thanks – it helps immensely – it helps to talk my thoughts out (as you may remember from experience 😉 you gave me wisdom and I knew all those terrible things that happened to you and that helped me put my own thoughts into perspective – and you listened, the greatest gift).

I have been reaching out to other good friends like you who can help me – who are thinkers like me and who get it…. Something (well God of course) has been working inside me for the last year or so to force me to rebalance my knowledge and my faith.  I actually have started writing – it has allowed me to get these thoughts – some so deep – so some light – like a brain download of everything in my head – and after that initial download – I started writing what I am seeing – “God Sightings” is our vacation bible school term – God sightings in my life – and wow – in less than one month I have written 19 pieces…  it’s when God keeps you up at night and says – “now you have time to talk?” . I am also working on a curriculum which I taught twice in sunday school so far – it is a timeline of bible events and also up to current and addresses people who translated the bible – when the printing press was made – when they buried the book of kells – lots of fun activities for the kids and also thought-provoking issues for adults.  I start with Moses on the actual timeline – and of course have noah etc before that for the little kids – but then say “….a long time….” in between.

So – I totally feel this leading into a new balance for me – and a gift of finding my spiritual voice – I have written a piece that talks about my wish for discernment – to know what is the Holy Spirit leading me to say vs my Blarney Stone-generated gift of gab…  I would love to send you some of my writing – if you would like-most everyone has come out so fast that I can’t type fast enough to keep up with my brain- many I had to speak into my email to get them out while driving –  I am sharing them privately only with less than 10 people – they are written for me – to help me process – but this process will hopefully help me help others (other thinkers) find their belief systems…  maybe I will share some pieces publicly at some point – maybe not – what has helped was just writing them…  and I knew I needed to find a spiritual voice in my leadership roles at church (sunday school, running vacation bible school, running our women’s group) – I want to speak from the heart with my brain backing me up  – I know my heart is in it – just have to catchup my brain.

Thanks for being there for me – spiritually and literally – you have no idea how much you helped me out in my grad school days – I am sure I have told you before, many many times…  thanks….

I have found so many friends in my church family who are amazing – they rally for each other – it is truly wonderful and within that group I have found a few sermons from a former youth pastor – who is our contemporary praise band leader – someone who really has been and is moved by the Holy Spirit and who guest preaches from time to time… I got a copy of those sermons (I was rarely in the actual church service even though I am in the building for three hours every Sunday because I am teaching, I am doing whatever… but these CD sermons really spoke to me and I listened in the car to them – and both the true meaningful messages and the spirit-led contemporary music has really steadied me on this path of re-balancing – of new balance.

thanks and thanks for listening

Debbie

On Wed, Jan 7,  at 9:21 AM, T wrote:

Debbie –

Yes, “keep smiling” is something I have used for a long time.  It is particularly meaningful for those who have such a good smile – like you!