Believe, a Belief-Blessed Birthday, 24OCT – #286, 287



A near midnight writing – minutes before my birthday – sitting and pondering around the campfire…

Believe, a Belief-Blessed Birthday, 24OCT

Well, Maureen O’hara has now passed away, beautiful lady, beautiful transformation in my all time favorite movie… Miracle on 34th street… This was a writing (below) when I was awakening, jan 4th, three weeks only after my first writing, still one month before I was done awakening and I was only realizing that I was going down the path of Doris (Maureen O’Hara) and Susie… that I was letting faith take over my life completely and I was telling myself to believe… I did not quite believe 100% yet, so I fondly look back now at how all this awakening cracked me open…. So blessed… I didn’t even realize that God was using all HIS resources to pull me into Jesus. I was about to be transformed. I stopped and questioned and that sped and smoothed the process. God said it’s ok to ask, God answered again and again.

And I thank you ALL for letting me naturally voice Jesus’s birth in me… I believe He was born in me and made me new even though I didn’t ever realize I wasn’t ok already. It may be my chronological birthday now, this strike of midnight, but I have been eating Jesus’s birthday cake all year this year. I pray to ALWAYS be HIS lighted birthday candle perched on a rock of HIS faithfulness, just like this pic from today’s hike 😉

SMILES and such TEARS of JOY because I believe in You Jesus, I believe YOU. I’m yours to keep now, forever. “Believe – it was and is that belief has to be there first – the rest follows – you have to believe – to have faith when common sense tells you not to… BELIEVE”

———- Forwarded message ———-

Date: Jan 4

Subject: Fwd: Miracle on 34th Street -I believe, I believe, its silly but I believe

I had this title for weeks – meant to get it written – but when the first sentence came to me – and it flowed – had to grab the computer and dump it out – no edits – but a little help from the web to get the right scripture lines – but 30 minutes top for this piece… figures that it is my favorite movie and this is my current pre-occupation in my brain – believe.

Miracle on 34th Street – I believe, I believe, it’s silly but I believe, 04JAN

My favorite movie – not just christmas movie – but all time movie – is Miracle on 34th Street. Not the ’70’s version, not the colorized version but the original 1947 version – Edwin Gwynn a Kris Kringle – Maureen O’Hara, Natalie Wood… and Fred Gailey (don’t remember his name – but wow what a catch!). yes my favorite movie of all time – ever since i was a teen…

Little Susie says “I believe, I believe, its silly but I believe”. She was talking about Santa Claus – but the movie goes much deeper than that – see Santa (Kris Kringle) was looking for belief in people – in everyone who didn’t believe – looking for hope to continue in his line of work – to continue hoping for the world. Fred was asking Doris (Maureen O’Hara) to believe – to believe in him – to believe in anything – she swore off fairy tales, swore off any belief in what she wasn’t in control of. she suffered from too much reality check – “should be realistic and completely truthful with our children and not have them growing up believing in a lot of legends and myths” … “And by filling them full of fairy tales they grow up considering life a fantasy instead of a reality.” Fred will work on Doris – Kris Kringle work on Susie too – together they can make this happen – it is a movie after all – together we will see how it all unfolds…

At the pinnacle of the movie – Doris is upset that Fred throws away his career by taking on the seemingly winless case of proving that Kris Kringle is indeed Santa Claus – the one and only Santa Claus… Fred urges her “Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to. It’s not just Kris that’s on trial. It’s everything he stands for. It’s kindness, joy, love, and all other intangibles.” “Someday, you’re going to find out that your way of facing this realistic world just doesn’t work. And when you do, don’t overlook those lovely intangibles. You’ll discover they’re the only things that are worthwhile.” Fast forward to Doris trying to reassure Susie that Mr Kringle will be ok – Doris is not sure she yet believes what she is telling her daughter – but Doris tells little susie that she has to have faith – Doris even adds to Susie’s letter that “I believe in you too” – win – Kris Kringle gets the letter and all the other dead letters at the postoffice and Fred wins the case – Kris is recognized by the federal government to be the “one and only santa claus” – win Susie has asked Mr Kringle for something big – bigger than a normal present – she asks for a house – those cape cod’s – similar to the jubilee that i live in today – quaint, quiet and family friendly… Susie expects Mr Kringle to deliver – big time – expects a miracle – expects that snap and she will have this house – puts it as a test to him… No – she doesn’t get it at the Christmas morning party – Doris has to say – “You must believe in Mr. Kringle and keep right on doing it. You must have faith in him.” … “you’ve still got to believe in people. I found that out.” “I believe. I believe. It’s silly but I believe” – Kris has orchestrated a car ride home with Fred – down a quaint quiet street – in a family neighborhood. “I believe. I believe. It’s silly but I believe” – Susie repeats and repeats – and then – oh snap! there it is – the house – on a quaint and quiet street – the perfect house – it’s for sale – its’s unlocked – with a swing in the back – win. Fred learns from Susie that Doris told her “Mommy said if things don’t turn out right at first, you’ve still got to believe. You were right Mommy!” – WIN – Doris to Fred “I never really doubted you. It was just my silly common sense.” WIN – BIG WIN. Kiss – realization that believing is seeing – believing came first – then seeing Kris Kringle’s cane in the house – hmmm…. Believe – it was and is that belief has to be there first – the rest follows – you have to believe – to have faith when common sense tells you not to… BELIEVE



When i woke up from a very sound sleep, the chorus of “True Joy”, a song written by a dear friend, was running through my head at FULL volume…. Oh, was a great song to start my birthday – and fitting since in the middle of the chilly night my son and I redid our sleeping bags and put them together, so I woke with my sweet son warm inside my arms and the “True Joy” of God’s Son warming in my soul… So blessed… Thanks God for putting a tune to praising – it’s so easy to sing along… SMILES and THANKS And then later I saw there was quite the appropriate verse of the day too from Ephesians… nice… ———- Forwarded message ———-

From: Bible Gateway Date: Sun, Oct 25, Subject: Verse of the Day – October 25 Ephesians 5:19-20 NIV “Speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Tending Others Gardens, 23OCT – #285 *



Tending Others Gardens, 23OCT

Yeah, late night camping, can’t sleep… enjoying the weekend, been meaning to finish this one, and now I had a reminder… tenting in this chilly night… I am blessed…

“Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit”… This Simon and Garfunkel song sings “oh Lord…. I had tended my own garden much too long…”

The line is after asking why the Lord has forsaken the singer… I have tended my own garden speaks to me as an allusion that the singer has not tended to God’s garden and not felt God’s faithfulness. So this gives me pause to think about what we can give and what we can do for others….to love freely, to give what we can and to carry each other’s burdens… and like Jesus instructs with the Widow’s mite scripture, we are to give all that we can give… I don’t think you are forced to sell everything in this day and age, but sometimes it might be just as simple as a smile, or a kind word here and there.

You can ALWAYS share a smile, no strings attached.

So earlier this week my work sponsored volunteer day was at a local food bank distribution center sorting 11,000 pounds of meat with about 40 people… and the woman behind me (not from my company) had the most sour expression on her face all day long… I don’t know that’s probably just her, I don’t think she was complaining, she just had that expression… And when I would turn from sorting my pork products and talk to her at the beef station she would just answer me very succinctly, no extension of extra friendliness, nor desire to know me…that’s ok, even though I tend to just try to be friendly with everyone, I certainly know not everyone is like that.

Now, the woman in front of me was very friendly so we had a good time dancing to the music keeping our souls warm in meat packing 37 degree temperatures. That’s a nice connection to make, affirmation of smiles and silliness to pass the time in a fun way.

It’s cold tonight, I am tent camping again… Mid forties…. So I am thinking of a homeless guy, Mike, that I see when I drive on a main road… I open my window and say good morning because he is the most friendly guy ever, he does not ask for anything and he ALWAYS has a kind word…. I don’t reach out to him just because I want to feel good, that’s not the point, and I do not intend to boast of good works, I just want to say I appreciate his friendliness…. but sure, i do I feel good when he wishes me well… you’re better believe i smile when he says “you have a great smile” in a sweet way. Yesterday I stopped (yes it was safe and out in the open) and he said “I love your colorful shoes”, hey doesn’t every woman like it when someone praises their shoes, LOL… Mike always has a friendly kind word, gives me advice about eating well, about getting my car ready for winter. I dropped off a bag of clothes that another friend had given me and asked me to give directly to him because he wanted to see it goes directly to the people who needed it and Mile was so appreciative and he said something like “I have a friend for life”…. Now, granted our interactions are very short and he’s probably going to have to move on somewhere else in the deep winter…he’s not sure what he will do… I don’t have resources to help him, and he NEVER asks… i can give him advice but I can’t and don’t over give… Actually many people give him things because he is so friendly…. It’s not so simple to just hop into a shelter… He likes being on his own.

We have not much more than a friendly word exchange, no strings attached. Does it make my day??? you better believe that, it’s an awesome start to my commute to get a smile… I am not super needy for kind words, I am truly BLESSED… But it’s a reminder that kindness begets kindness no strings attached. Mike was first kind to me, he was tending to my section of God’s garden… He blesses me, not just vice versa.

I think it’s also a very good lesson for our children that we drive by and say “look there’s the nicest guy and he has almost nothing, we should be so grateful…”… yes this is an important lesson for our children… Please remember Mike in your prayers this chilly night, as I feel that his smile tends to multiply blessings thru our whole community every day…

Yes, let’s ALL tend to God’s garden, God is faithful, we should smile more to remind people…

Galatians 6:2 NIV “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Wasted? 18Oct – #284



Don’t worry about this mini diatribe post, it’s just me checking in with God… Thanks for letting me write this one out, I do feel much better now.. Luv ya all!

Pauses and praises for God.

Wasted? 18Oct

So, my son broke his video game screen, ugh, and since he forgot his kindle charger at a friend’s, it left him with NO ELECTRONIC DEVICES!!! YIKES! So guess what he brought out tonight?? His guitar, YAY, hasn’t played it for four months…. And even he asked his Dad to tune it for him, so double yay, and guess what he found in his guitar case lost since June? his glasses… Found… LOL, geez after four months, wow…. but it was just another reminder of more wasted money, because I got him new ones… Oh the endless examples of wasted money fleeing out of my hands this week/month, ugh….

And that time too… Time that he could be doing something else…. Grrr….. and then just think of all that time and money WE ALL waste, how wasteful… And I probably shouldn’t even be writing THIS, am I wasting my time? I am also choosing precious moments away from family time to process my head… Yes, should I even write this out? because I SHOULD be doing five thousand other things in my path… so WHY GOD? I know why, I am upset I don’t have control, from a great morning things went downhill, nothing horrible and still bright spots tonight, but still…. And I am now stilled, forced to write it out… I just don’t know why things get out of my control, probable because it’s not even my control, is it? Too many independent variables… Accumulated little things… And just now I blew my top at another just stopped working item…. Grrr…

I guess I could either complain to Facebook or complain to God….But I like to keep my Facebook posts cheery…. I should do that for God too, be cheery, but HE already knows my angst before I angst write it…. Sigh… So, yes, we do tend to waste our time, why? And waste our resources? Or are they wasted out of our control?

So let me ask YOU, God, this related question about Your resources…. What happens with non-believers? Today I had a discussion on purgatory as a myth, yesterday a friend asked for my take on whether everyone (all religions and not) goes to heaven or if JUST Christians do… And I thought: hmmm, well that is sad, isn’t that a waste? All those precious people God had created and only a few get thru the narrow path to get back to the garden ? Hmmm…. What happens to them God? Straight to hell? Compost their bodies and souls? Are there “get out of hell free” coupons? Of course I know Jesus IS the way… I live in Jesus’s lighted path because of God driving me gently right into Jesus’s loving arms… I understand now my place in the world as a child of God ONLY because of direct intervention by God… Lord knows I write only because of God pushing me. And I will make my way to heaven ONLY because I have to beg forgiveness for my past and future sins and 100% rely on ONLY Jesus to take me there… I KNOW I can’t get there by myself…

So, I really really don’t know if and when there is hope for the rest of the world who doesn’t get an opportunity to discover Jesus… If they don’t, are they wasted? Hmmm… Is it their fault? No it’s not their fault always… What happens to them, Lord? But I think we are left knowing that it IS an unknown… It really is… I don’t know what happens in those last few brief moments before death… Does Jesus show up in the nick of time in a death vision? Yes, I wish everyone could catch the Jesus train early, but many don’t. So does God have many rooms in his house so that people are in a “waiting room setting” until they get Jesus? I KNOW the bible says a day could be a thousand years? Yes, I KNOW, I KNOW, Jesus says only a few get thru… The path is narrow but it IS sure… But REALLY, is there ANY hope for those lost souls? I HOPE SO!

If God answers prayers, wouldn’t and shouldn’t my first and most deep intimate prayer be that ALL lost souls find Jesus? If I pray this, is that prayer like kinda cheating on the magic genie by asking for more wishes…. And yet, I do ask YOU God, can I still add a sticky note of names to Your long list in order to save each atheist that I love dearly? Can you save them a spot too, God? Maybe it won’t matter to me when I get to heaven? But it DOES matter to me now God, so what am I going to do???… What am I to do with such a short time myself here on earth with so many demands on my time? How Lord can I be most efficient in your commission?…  or am I JUST being a realist? Is it just normal for us who feel your saving grace to just be ok with being normal? I don’t know God, but it’s not my business to know, I do appreciate YOU letting me ask though…

I surely am not the first or last that a story would be repeated to make everyone saved… I thought WOW, God did this, I just want people to believe HIS power… But I know Lord, shake the sand off, shake the sand off… It’s a personal journey, there is fire that each soul needs to kindle itself… Shake your sandals so that you can keep walking… Grab your waking stick, grab your co-travellers and your sticky notes, get extra seeds from God’s pocket to keep planting along the way…

I may never know how efficient I am supposed to be, God knows my skill set and I ask him to let it grow. God knows where I am supposed to go. It’s not wasted time to think of my path… JUST checking in God… Ten months since my “Christmas Flood”, my birthday coming up soon, my first real Christmas just around the bend… I am just checking in… I know you are still holding me tighter than ever…

I know tomorrow it’s time to prepare for rain again, I best not delay… it’s time to go back out there, start walking, and LOVE…

Thanks for the pep talk Lord… Thanks, Luv Ya!


PS – This was an over bubbling of angst and fear after little but big stressors of life – so much eating at me… I see the turn in my writing when God took my angst away and then changed what I was writing about! I didn’t mean to go where I went in this piece, but God refocused my mind away from my troubles, and thought about HIS troubles and I appreciate that refocus… It was a therapeutic cry, “downtime” in my hyperspeed faith journey… We did not have a Women’s Retreat this year and I missed it – but instead I have been blessed with mini-segments of the retreat that God lined up for me over the past month… From an extra hour of yapping after the UMW meeting last week, the evening with another friend couple weekends ago, the beautiful cross stitch devotion that a friend gave me, this camping trip Fri night with trusted friends – all true blessings… So much LOVE for me to soak in… I am HIS child rejuvenated; my cup was refilled with LOVE poured from others cups into mine…

So, yeah, remember to do the best that you can and just accept that you did the best that you could…. And take solace in praying for God’s help with everything you CAN do. ENJOY what you CAN do – don’t worry about what you can’t…

How Strange How Random, 15Oct – #283



This writing is dedicated to my friend Pastor “P”, I “pulled a Pastor P” and randomly prayed for someone…

How Strange How Random, 15Oct

I can’t be expected to understand most of the things God puts in my path, NO one could… There is no way to figure it all out… Understanding a couple things a day is a blessing… I understand that my weight loss and new found healthy initiative is not just about me, yes it’s a little for me, a lot for my family who depends on me, but a WHOLE lot for encouragement to everyone else to get inspired to get healthier… I get that God, I am happy complying on that one… I get easily three to five people a day who ask about it and I freely share my “secrets” to healthy eating, which aren’t really secrets… The bonus I get back is this nice stream of compliments… Even from a random grocery store shopper today, she loved my blue flowy dress, she’s a nurse and we chatted health and meditation and she complimented how healthy and happy I looked… God knows it feels good to hear those things, even though it’s God’s eye, not the human eye, that I am trying to please…

Anyways…. So what’s up with today, God? Random… Gas station guy in a Cadillac.. No cash, he seems frantic… picked me to ask for help, a more unusual event then the rest of the week combined… Something about him having no cash, had to pay a cash locksmith fee half a hour away, a golf ball setting off the security system, ADT fines, police fire fines, forgetting debit cards at office the other direction, and trying to prove to me that he was legit with this whole stack of credit cards and IDs… Whew!!!! And he’s trying to sell the place, just him and his wife and dog, and huh? I am a fast processor but this whateverness???

…. ME??? he randomly picked ME to ask in a gas station of bays of thirty cars? I AM patient God, therefore you must have picked me for him, picked me to listen and understand, I get that, God… Money? did I have ten or twenty dollars? I don’t care if you are driving a Cadillac, have Donald Trump hair and stylish clothes, that’s not my nature (I am not stupid) to give out money… Which I told him, and I had none… But I did listen for clarity, I just tried to understand and work thru his dilemma WITH him for three minutes, THAT I could give… Just a little of my time is free (don’t tell my boss)… Clarity, oh!!!…. Three minutes later he reworded and it clicked in my head, he would pay for my gas fill up and I would get the cash from the ATM… Oh that computes in my brain… Oh that’s okay… I processed that it was safe to do that… So he pumped 25 bucks of gas into my car, and YES my car was completely locked and safe and I walked into the convenience store and got out 25 bucks. Ok, no harm no foul (i think… unless he wasn’t supposed to have cash – I hope I didn’t enable something wrong)

Then as I walked out, I thought ‘you know? either way I should pull a “Pierre” and ask to pray for him!’… Pierre is a friend Pastor that is thrilled to run up to random people and ask if he can pray for them… so that’s what I did… I figured he could always say no but he said YES… so as he’s getting back in his car, I said: “Kevin, I am asking God to just fix and do whatever he can do for you, whatever it is, and see him thru his challenges”. It was the most random discombobulated jumbled prayer I have ever blurted out… but I know God got the meaning and Kevin smiled and then went on his way. He probably thought I was nuts (which I am) but I bet I wasn’t any more random than he was… because God has random things for us to do… They are random whateverness, in our minds, but God figures it all out. The last thing, before Kevin sped off, I said “oh thanks for pumping my gas”… See, I really don’t like to put my own gas so my hands don’t get stinky… I can do it no problem but I don’t like the smell of gas on my hand and if I can get full service I do… and this one time I forgot to fill up at home at the full service was already thinking I have to pump my own gas, ugh…. So randomly some guy pumped gas for me today…hmmm… “Well, THANKS God”… I’ll take that as a side benefit for today randomness whateverness…. God only knows… Only God…

Church is My Nature, 14Oct – #282 *



Second of my “devotions-ponderings” to God after GS camping and our 7.7 mile amazing hiking trip to see 22 amazing waterfalls…what a blessing to have a God-gifted increased energy to power thru a long hike as well as gifted vision to delight in the many natural LOVE displays of the Lord!

Church is My Nature, 14Oct

There was a plethora of nature lovers on our 7.7 mile 5 hr hike in a glen with 22 beautiful waterfalls. My GS leader, fellow camp mom and I were able to mentor to the teen girls both allowing the freedom to leisurely appreciate brilliant nature displays and also learn important safe hiking skills (like shimmying over logs and navigating precarious terrain). Over the course of the evenly paced five hour hike, I appreciated SO MANY people out and about on this crisp fall day.

Since our troop is based out of a Christian school, it is acceptable for us to mention the beauty of nature as God’s masterpiece, and that it’s our appreciation and our consciousness of the world that if truly a gift from God… These free associations organically bubble out… One scout, who is also a VBS volunteer, spoke out of the pureness of her heart when she saw a dazzling red leaf glimmering in the sun and said it’s “just like Jesus’s LIGHT shining”.

On the hike our leader noticed a hikers t-shirt which boldly stated “Nature is my Church”, and we could really appreciate that and we discussed how we are blessed to see all of God’s hand at work in this dazzling display of nature’s power and peacefulness. We called out to praise the rocks and trees, the water and the beautiful maturing young ladies with us.

All thru our appreciation hike, we were continually interacting with our fellow hikers… taking their photos, petting their dogs, and conversing of the beauty all around. I LOVE alone time but I REALLY LOVE connecting with others time…. “words with strangers”… I love to offer to take photos for couples and those group selfie attempts… “SMILE”… After I bounded up one rocky section I needed to rest and there was a group wanting to shimmy out on a ledge for a photo, but the woman had a backpack with two puppies and so I offered to hold the puppies (and catch my breath). I am a bit afraid of dogs (I’ve been bit) and there were SO MANY dogs, but one of the changes God has made in me this last year is that I am so less afraid of dogs.. And aren’t puppies God’s gift to sneak dogs into my heart (just like a sweet baby born at Christmas grew inside of me). Well, holding two puppies tucked inside a backpack, it certainly felt like Christmas!!! I felt like Santa with a dozen teen girls gaga over petting cute puppies, I was warmed immeasurably with this love and life in my arms… A gift of puppy love… The hikers thanked me, but I REALLY thanked them for an opportunity to cradle God’s Love in the form of squirming nature come to life…

So, for that t-shirt that says “Nature is my Church”? well, I want a reverse worded shirt, instead… I want a shirt that says: “Church is my Nature” because I am blessed to be part share in this live action (love action) expansion of God’s LOVE in “BEING THE CHURCH”. When I partake in sharing myself freely, oh how I gain a thousand fold back. I gain an eternally blessed feeling when I reach out to expand God’s church by walking the walk of faith, trust, generosity and partaking WITH OTHERS.

“GO AND BE THE CHURCH” my pastor always says, and He means it… We are built as temples for God… we are to have Jesus as the cornerstone… we are collectively filled with spirit as “the church”. And so church should be our nature… church should be us reaching out filled with spirit that lifts us up then spills out of us… We pray to have our cups over-filled by the spirit to be forced to spill it out to others… Encouragement with SMILES, understanding with compassion, and comfort-giving with shared tears. BE the church by your nature because Jesus showed us how. Jesus showed us how to BE. Enable yourself to “Be the Church” by refilling your soul often… Look around you and not JUST see but take in glorious nature…. search for the beauty and appreciation in all things, especially others around you, be a treasure hunter, and realize ALL IN ALL that YOU TOO are part of God’s intended immense beauty… And SMILE… Smile, because God loves YOU because God lives IN you.

“Smile God, Smile”, we are taking a picture of YOU.


Ephesians 2:20-22 (NIV) 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. 21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. 22 And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

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FOCUS… GOD… WARMTH… GRACE…. 10 Oct – #281 *



Long drive Friday night in the pouring rain but SO worth it!! I drove three scouts, including one whom I had in my car that ice storm January morning when God’s GRACE was so ever clearly keeping us safe…

This was an amazing camping trip, fifteen of us total…a dozen 14yr old cadettes, 3 moms. Amazing waterfalls, amazing nature. Here’s devotion #1 written Saturday early morning…


Camping in the mountains, crisp air, God everywhere.

Walked in the stars at 430am wide awake because my girl scout leader – sister mom came back to our tent after a check on a camper and said: “Debbie, YOU have to go see the stars!!!!!” Of course I knew it would be the best viewing ever, no light pollution in pitch black at 2400 feet!!! The beauty and brightness so intense.. The Pleiades, I saw the Pleiades finally, they were at the zenith, I saw the best you could ever see by eye… Plus detailed star studded Orion, Taurus, and the Milky Way…. I didn’t feel the urge to do anything else at that moment, I just stood there in PEACE… I stood there in the presence of God. I was in God with God, not admiring His works from afar, but embedded in PEACE, embedded in the FOCUS of ALL creation… Through the tall trees whipping in the wind, the pitch black darkness gave way to the closest I have ever been to the stars… it was as if there were poked holes in a moonless black sky making brilliant crisp spotlights. Good God, how blessed to see and feel the shining of all creation, one star, one creation just as brilliant as the rest… When you have been gifted the vision of God sightings, WOW, it’s seeing EVERYTHING as FROM God and OF God!

No, I didn’t feel I needed to write about the stars at that moment – because I humbly lived that in the moment…. Actually I really really felt the need to write a piece flooded into my brain about something else… this toasty blessed hand warmer… This warmth which gifted me FOCUS … and I have to write how God’s warm love gives focus….

Yes, warmth in my hand focusing me away from the upper 30’s chill at 430 am… yes I am still holding this hot pad now… it’s 8 am, camp just barely starting to stir (late but well yeah, at 1:30am we realized we should go to bed… even the dozen teenagers went to bed before us 3 silly scout moms yapping around the campfire). Cold night, wind whipping a massive cold front of thunderstorms and brilliant lightning, which had made our three hour trip into four and oh that clogged Friday getaway traffic, ugh… But we made it safe, made it 2400ft up in the desolate mountains, temperatures rapidly dropping, and what’s did we see? SNOW?…. Yes SNOW flurries and chunks shooting down, above freezing degrees but SNOW… in early October?? Well I said “Thanks God, Hello to You too!”… ” You know that I LOVE your show of SNOW kisses”… Yes it was just enough snow as God said “I love you, my child”. Smiles God, smiles.

Warm in the focus on God… This gifted hot pack from my sister scout mom gave me focus to forget the upper 30’s tent camping and rush outside for the star show of my dreams… Well, 430am the snow blown away and so the stars came out to play!!! The focus of a hand warmer is EXACTLY like the focus on God… God warming my heart takes away the angst and the uncertainty in the moment. The stressors don’t go away, but focusing on God gives me strength, gives me motivation, gives me warmth, gives me the freedom to live. Your gift and my gift from God – IS God. You have meaning, you have focus, you have oneness, you have existence in this world to just BE. BE WITH GOD. If the world is collapsing in you, but you focus on God, you will find God there to hold you in LOVE.

We have been graced LIFE, therefore we are made of God’s warm LOVE, made for God… He wants us to be HIS gift to the world, to display HIS fruit, to tell of His ways… Tell how HE has made us who we are… Tell the cold world how we feel HIS warmth when we realize we are HIS.

Thanks for the Focus, Oh God. Focus on You, God.

PS… after writing this Sat morning, well Sunday morning was a repeat performance of brilliant stars. Pleiades again, hot pad focus on warmth again, God at work always… BUT this time, with a teachable moment shared with those three scouts WIDE AWAKE at 430am… Time to ponder is a gift, time to teach a gift as we made out Taurus’ face and Orion’s bow so clearly… Oh, just then a tiny shooting star caught just in time in our focus, sweet… God shared it with all these girls, including Grace… He shared that moment with me – just like he shares equally beautiful moments with each of us… Oh these gifted moments of FOCUS… Stars in the sky and the beauty of natural curiosity… Oh these gifts from God to focus on… Oh how blessed we truly are…

Silly numbers, 08Oct – #280



Nothing earth shattering here… Just enjoying writing how fun God can be…. I like to embrace the silliness of life A LOT, as you know … Nerdy Fun for Friday… Perhaps numbers show up like this for you too… I am NOT into numerology; I just like numbers and math.

Silly numbers, 08Oct

Fun silly little numbers, they make me smile… When I was a kid and still today my parents live at 403 as their house number… That number came up in various places growing, so of course it was fun when my mother noticed that my then boyfriend had a license plate with 403 on it, lots of silly appearances… and now even my father’s prepaid cemetery plot number is randomly, you guessed it, number 403 !

I’ve always liked the number 25, born on Oct 25th… 25 is a cool number because after October 25th comes November 25th near Thanksgiving time and of course December 25th for Christmas! Three fabulous months in a row in my favorite fall season… and so I always play 25 at the raffles, and of course money is divided into quarters… So what’s my house number? not 25… but 52… Yeah reverse 25 is 52, I didn’t think about that much until recently when now the number 52 started popping up ALL OVER the place… Now, if you take it one step further and add the numbers, 52 as 5 + 2 equals 7, so yes 25 or 2 + 5 = 7… yes 403 added together = 7… my kids each have birthdays on the 29th, and 9 – 2 = 7…. yup yup… and 7 is one of EVERYONE’S lucky numbers…. And when I started my blog as “Debbie Upper” apparently it was common enough that they assigned a number to it, yup 7, I am “Debbie.Upper.7”. The Pleiades constellation (Subaru symbol) are the seven sisters of mythology… There’s six on the emblem (maybe I am star number seven)…

God loves numbers…. Nature is full of geometric repeating and consistent patterns. “Donald Duck in Mathemagic Land” can be found as a YouTube video ( – I wrote about this before) and there are so many amazing mathematical descriptions of nature from the golden rule to natural spirals to geometric crystals for metals (pure solid elemental metals can form perfect cubes, even pentagram-like… I grew perfect salt crystal cubes in grad school in an evaporating stock solution, cool). Then there are the symmetrical snowflakes, leaf and flower patterns, etc. The Mandelbrot set and lots of really cool fractals can even be used to describe repeating nature mathematics…

God loves math.. God loves numbers. Yeah, so OK, even in nature God does bend the rules at times, and not every mathematical rule holds true for every creature that exists… We probably just haven’t “figured” it out yet… Even Plato tried to figure it all out, but it’s tough for humans to describe everything we DON’T understand… ( ).

We think we can bend God’s rules sometimes too – but quickly God catches on…. and God is the best one at changing your life up for you, when you haven’t “figured” it out yet…

So, numbers…. cool God… Thanks God for giving us nerdy people some extra fun… We all often say we are lucky… but in actuality we are all truly BLESSED… luck “probably” has nothing to do with it… God’s watching and waiting to see how we catch onto his plans – i think i am very very lucky to notice what God lets me see… I will still strive to invoke my internal lucky leprechaun status… Lucky? I mean BLESSED..

“Figured” it out, finally…

PS – follow up Nov 4th – You know, God is cute sometimes… In addition to me seeing the number 52 about five times in a 24hour period: at the gas station, the time of day, all over Facebook, etc… I was reminded by my “52” trash cans that when inverted read 25… Yeah – not only are they reverse numbers, they are of right symmetry when you invert them they say each other… Silly God, silly… Thanks for the smile, God.

280 silly numbers.PNG

Quiescent, 05Oct – 279 *



The devil may put doubt in my mind, but it’s God who gives me precious pause…. discernment between those two is vitally important… God gives pause for us to listen, learn and grow. Pause is prayer time to ponder – to enter a transient transition state – to get back to a time where God can mold us… return us to a child of God… it takes time and we are to be patient with what God is trying to teach us…

And so this essay grew out of a healthy faith conversation – a discussion about the importance of “Regenerating Our Faith”. These thoughts populated my brain this morning as i got into my tabernacle Subaru – my brain connected them to the thought of “a quiescent center” – a place in plants where the generation of new growth occurs – the “meristematic zone”. I haven’t thought about that word in about ten years, it just now popped into my head.

Quiescent, 05Oct

Yes, God and botanical lesson here: the tips of the growing regions of plants are meristems – they are a collection of cells which are undifferentiated until acted upon by internal and external factors. This region is called a Quiescent Center and has the potential to grow into anything (roots, shoots, flowers) when acted upon by clues (hormones and protein growth factors). In the laboratory, in plant tissue culture, you can take pieces of certain plants and put them into proper nutritive culture conditions and you can return to growth of undifferentiated cells… Differentiated somatic cells still have all the genetic material needed to regenerate a whole plant. This regeneration of cellular material is not JUST to bring a similar leaf back from a leafy tissue – it is potential to bring back the WHOLE plant from one cell’s growth… that’s the SAME with God…

To regenerate our faith, we really want to ask God to bring us back to a place where we can grow into anything. We don’t just bring our faith back into where our faith was before – instead we ask God to bring our faith to a NEW elevated state – we want a “God-determined” level of faith.

The quiescent meristem is not truly a quiet place. Sure you cannot visually see what is going on in those cells, but internally they’re working really really hard – new proteins – new RNA molecules to direct the development – within each cell it’s setting up a whole new potential life – and the cells will work together to create a new tissue…

The quiescent core of a soul is not truly a quiet place – you can not visually see what is going on in another’s soul – you may feel it in your own though. And God is working internally there – working really really hard. God is setting up a whole new potential life for you – for Him. This work becomes easier if we try to rest our lives in God’s truths. God wants us to ask Him to do this work

What we can become depends on us asking God to restore our wholeness with Him and looking to Him to point us in the right path.

Quiescence may infer quiet but it’s not quiet time… God wants us to “Be Still” and know that He is God, He is doing the work. Quite often we rush. We can’t see the work, but it’s happening.

God knows He has flooded me with so many blessings that I don’t know what to do with all I have gained…. And yet, I keep saying: “What’s next God? What’s next?” So yes, we (and especially I) should be patient because the places where I’m petitioning God to work is EXACTLY where I must learn to realize that He IS working, and He needs the time that He needs… He will take my challenge zones and will regenerate them into quiescent centers. He will redo me from the inside out and He will need to line up the internal and external signals to make it all work for the best for HIS Wholeness and Holiness … it’s HIS timing not ours. Wait upon the Lord.

So yes, Lord, I shall be patient. I will know that you are faithfully working on every single situation. I will not doubt what I cannot see. I will praise when I see small steps taking your direction. I will watch you work and learn how you do it… and I will wait upon YOU and your quiescent ways and I will learn to keep my faith even stronger, because you are an ALL powerful God.

I believe in YOU forever.



PS – an email reply from my Pastor – Yeah, it’s no accident that Pastor and I walk together…. God’s plan plays out… I love watching God at work….

From my Pastor: “It’s very interesting that all you had to say and the share is what has been on my mind and in my devotions lately. The whole topic of Regeneration. Just today I’ve been thinking about Regeneration, Degeneration and Generations in light of conversations about the state of the church, lackluster attendance or wet blanket apathy. To be like a child means surrendering a lot of self and allowing God to grow us into the likeness of our brother Jesus. It has to be taught to the generations. Too many other things want to do the teaching and human nature prefers the dark even though it knows the Light, and when it opts for the dark, degeneration takes place. Holy Spirit and Spirit touched people keep shining the light into the darkness.”

And my reply to my Pastor: It’s NO accident – there is NO WAY any of this is a coincidence…. it is so clear to me that God has aligned us like stars in his universe – you me and the rest – for how long I don’t know…

and yes – LIGHT is what is being shined on strong right now – but people have to realize it – and it’s not easy to do that when they are blinded by the glitz and glamour out there – honestly yes, it’s easier for people to follow the dark that they know and the easy road away from the light than to face themselves in the light of God – one has to be ready to face the dark corners of their own lives that they KNOW God is looking at – it’s easier to run than to stand and be inspected… but I pray God will be gentle – I know HE will…if God isn’t forgiving then i don’t know who is!

I have myself experienced an interesting phenomenon:  A REGENERATION – I say and feel like I am getting younger – younger AND wiser… but yeah – it’s amazing to me how humans are human and will look at surface things and not take enough time to think to go deeper. Some folks forget to stoke their own spiritual fires and thus forget to stoke everyone else’s too – it’s that “soul on fire” song – it’s about re-kindling – re-generating – re-invigorating – yes – that means giving up what we know to an unknown – but wow I can attest that this unknown is amazingly filled with JOY.

As for the destructive forces at work, well if I am calling myself a “child of God” then I feel this pull to being a PEACEMAKER – I strive to encourage peace – I took a personality test once and it said my career should be an academic dean – in other words a peacemaker – it hurts to sometimes get caught in the middle but I remember that I have nothing to lose IF I give it ALL to God…


Healthy Eating, Healthy Praising, 04 Oct – #274



Some of my conversions make it into my essays…. today’s was a prime example… I really have been blessed to have opportunities to share my faith EVERYDAY… This essay started as a text message to someone about eating oatmeal, and general health… and because of my mindset of praising lately and giving both the praising and the eating up to God combined with my pastor’s Sunday message today, this essay flooded into my brain and out my fingers.. A connection between healthy eating and healthy praising – do them because you’re supposed to… And you will be blessed by both!

Pastor’s sermon was a great message today about God providing, and about us giving our testimony of how God had provided for us… I listened to it twice…. the first time in a traditional nice quiet moving service and the second time in contemporary nice loud moving service… (I like them both… And, speaking of God providing, I was pleased to have the freedom and the time to sit and smile in the traditional service, and I also was pleased to have the freedom and the time AND THE GUTS to sing crazy loud with the praise band music like no one was listening, and beebop praise dance like no one was watching, LOL). Not everyone will understand one’s ability to praise in their own crazy and sometime seemingly over the top way… some may even think it’s boasting… But God knows what’s in your heart and will likely correct you anyway… Therefore, praise as thoughtfully as you can… (Eat as thoughtfully as you can too…)

Anyway, I had to write this essay in one of those “Oh! Write that down!” moments… My whole deal with my testimony for my weight loss is that it never crossed my mind that when I made my healthy diet changes that the weight would come off… I’m more shocked than anyone, and sure the weight appears to have melted off, if you haven’t seen me in a while, but actually it’s been a very safe gradual process… No crash diets, listen to your body… Healthy eating, healthy praising…

Here’s the piece:

Healthy Eating, Healthy Praising, 04 Oct

Eating healthy is just like praising God…. Both are done for the sake of doing the right thing…. You are supposed to do it…. You are to eat healthier because it’s the right thing to do. You are to praise God because it’s the right thing to do. Guess what?

Eat healthy, we all know that, yet we fail to at times. Praise God, we all know that, yet we fail to at times. We are to praise God for everything, everything good and bad. We are not supposed to understand everything but understand that God has it all in His plan.

We are not supposed to eat healthy just for the sole purpose of losing weight, NOPE, we are supposed to eat healthier because it’s what are bodies were made for, it’s because God said our bodies are temples FOR GOD, treat them right (no crash diets – do what is sustainable!). Our minds, bodies, souls and words are NOT for us to revel and luxuriate in, but for GOD TO USE as mouthpieces to let us tell of HIS faithfulness, and how HIS fruitful blessings have taken ahold in our lives. We are not supposed to approach God with the sole/soul purpose of begging for favors, we are supposed to praise God because it’s the right thing to do. This may sound so simplified, but for me it’s the TRUTH… How I have seen the blessings when I praise!!!

When you eat healthier, oh my gosh, you all the sudden realize the great benefits to your body… perhaps you’ll even lose weight. No crisis needed, when you praise God, and simply TALK TO HIM about everything, oh my gosh, you all the sudden realize the great benefits to your LIFE… perhaps you will gain endless blessings. This may sound so simplified, but for me it’s the TRUTH…

By hearing testimony from those who just survived a horrific plane crash or building fire, the first thing they say is “Thank God! God was looking over me” they don’t say “God how could you do such a thing, letting my house burn”, NO!!! the first thing out of their mouthpieces are “Thank God I’m alive”. They praise, God kept them alive. We should do that too.

So let’s all pause to praise today…. God is the”All in All”… When 7 rare wild turkeys walked by me today in the middle of a conversation with a friend about healthy eating, I took it as a reminder that you never know what is coming in life, so just praise it either way. Maybe you can put it together and you figure out that God has a plan for everything… Maybe you can’t figure it out, but know God has a plan anyway.

Whether you look at the turkeys in life (often a paraphrase for not so good things) as a RARE blessing or a disastrous dud, praise the turkeys either way…. God put the good, bad and the ugly in your life for a reason, walks them right in front of you to teach you something…. I know this to be the truth…. So ask God: “Why?”… “What lesson am I suppose to learn here?” “Why are there thorns on the roses?” Well, take time to praise the thorns as well as the roses.

THANKS GOD, and I will continue to pause, praise and ponder…. I say thank you with healthy praising because it’s the right thing to do!

Health and Peace, OCT 1 – #277



Health and Peace, OCT 1

So, it’s the sweet graces that counteract the sour grapes always… God making the day sweet and worthwhile… To counteract one person’s potentially hurtful mis-understanding about my “healthkick”, I was blessed with 75 praises via Facebook…. Then the phone rang at work today and I had the most awesome conversation with a computer software saleswoman about HER health, blood pressure and getting in shape, God is good!!!! We are the same age… I encouraged her, made some suggestions, especially about oatmeal, extra protein and walking…. it was a good five minute discussion, and we exchanged text numbers to continue discussion and I sent her the yoga YouTube link….

My health corrective action is not just about me, I knew that, and I continue to be encouraged to encourage and share “tricks of the trade” with others…. Healthy sustainable changes… Changes for LIFE.

Just like Paul says…. In everything, petition God for HIS will and HE will protect you from sour grapes, HE guard your heart (and it’s ok to share your heart) and He bring you PEACE.

Philippians 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.