SNAP!!! Out of the Mud!!! 30SEP – #597


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SNAP!!! Out of the Mud!!! 30SEP

Oh I love Facebook time hop….. today it reminded me that it was 6 years ago when something in my brain snapped while teaching…. I can still hear and feel that SNAP!….

I said out-loud to the kids: Jesus came as a catalyst for changing the world by spreading the news of God’s love faster… SNAP!… a catalyst in a chemical reaction makes things happen – Jesus makes things happen for God – SNAP! It was two years later, in God’s timing, while my writing was chronicling my processing, God started making my head spin…. I was hunted down by none other than God Himself…. I thought I was going crazy – I said: “wait! what?”

How earth shattering is it to be hunted down by God? How amazing is it to be caught by Jesus who simply gently said “she’s not dead, she’s just asleep…”

I wish I could convey that SNAP, that hunted down feeling… but each and everyone has to realize Jesus for themselves… I don’t fault myself or anyone for not knowing where I was spiritually, I don’t fault and yet I do know I slipped thru the cracks but was still driven to feed others….  when they say “God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called” – that’s 100% true…

There’s no formula to faith,  but if you hear a snap,  I promise you there’s something going on with the universe of God’s dust particles, the word of Jesus, and the movement of the Holy Spirit… God is moving a sliding puzzle piece in your head, placing or un-placing a Lego piece, unzipping the separated part of a zipper and re-zipping it right… God knows what and where to adjust our antennae – our job is to listen, hear, believe, change, act…..

God formed the dust particles that are me, got the Holy Spirit swirling them around, and Jesus came to me as a flood of living water…. Christmas Flood is the basis of my blog, my 34 chapters of writing… I’m just trying to scoop up the mud in my brain and help Him help the Kingdom…. you have to learn to love God’s ability to rise us up out of the mud…

Thanks for letting me share… I’m still blown away, but God planted me, like a tree, and grounded me in His Word… I cried begging mercy after I realized what I didn’t realize…  I cry still when I think about what it would have meant if I didn’t SNAP into life with Jesus. My tears of flooding Jesus often come now to soften up my hardened soil of my soul – and the mud is better than stuck in dry ground… at least with mud you can move and you can climb – and you can ask to be cleansed and rise up – with Jesus…

I love you all… thank you for letting me share my experience…

Please know that God loves you…

Jesus saves – wakes – washes – wows…



Recapture Pieces of Peace, 29SEP – #596



Recapture Pieces of Peace, 29SEP

When mini chapters of life challenges close, there are so many possibilities for us to find ways to reflect.  One day I would like to get together at a particular restaurant where a bunch of us retreat planners had lunch Feb 1st 2015, the day I knew i was 100% with BELIEVING THAT JESUS WAS REALLY GOD’S SON and I was 100% with Jesus, it was the cap of 2 months awakening… years in the making…  my peace only brought after a shocking shaking up of my soul…

…and I want to sit at the window eating sweet potato fries, like I did that day, then go to the 911 garden where I knew – I just knew Jesus had captured me and I had accepted Him as my Lord and Savior after not even knowing I had to do that – that day I was lost driving and God placed me where I needed to reflect in my own mental slice of His garden.. and after revisiting that Garden then I want to go back to a friend’s place for hot cocoa…. I have a hunkering for those sweet potato fries and for a mental piece of an immense moment of God’s peace… both are best shared with friends…

I still feel I have to share my quiet time with not just the Lord but thru writing too, I feel I have to spill it out because I am still broken and needing to ooze about God’s immense love because it is the oozing cementing of that love within our cracks that soothes our brokenness… and I pray others will look for His love to heal them… Maybe someday I will not ooze as much but I knew when I started writing that I didn’t want to become complacent or embarrassed for saying that we need God to heal our brokenness…

The 911 garden for me is trying to find peace in recovered pieces, pieces of peace carefully gathered back from rubble, glued together with love, steel and tears, green grass and grief, water fountains of tears and the flowing living water of healings…. recaptures of the old peace to make new peace…

God’s peace is illuminated by His shining of Light that makes one overlook the darkness of everything else… and so, on 911, when love and hate crumbled together under the weight of the collapsing towers, that scene became a stratified rock of visual light and dark layers.. with knowing God as we do, I can picture the pieces of those crumbles becoming places where He had to scoop up layers of love back to Him, I see souls of love floating out of rubble, and darkness forever trapped down in the muck….

Light from God is so immense that it’s never going to be overshadowed by evil…

Light from God, is LOVE…. our coming to the light and coming to peace with the light is due to love… LOVE before a second coming shows up as oozing love that still seeps from Jesus’s first coming – actually from way before,  because Jesus as the Word made flesh means that in the beginning the Word was looking for us – all of God’s entirety saw us needing His Word… Light came to move us out of darkness, one piece of peace at a time.

God’s light makes even the worse evils that so much more minimal – but it doesn’t always feel that way when we are immersed in pain – oh how painfully we are reminded that we are human and life seems at best a mixture of stratified layers of pain and passion and peace… Life everlasting however will see us lift the LIGHTED lightened pieces of peace out of the rubble… we are to strengthen our hearts…

Personal challenges exist, worldwide pain persists, it’s our hope to focus forward to the beginnings of a beautiful new walk with the Lord, everyday… It is remarkable that He allows us to be pulled thru feelings of so much pain, bleeding out of our souls to only realize this whole time that He’s been trying to fill us up more with sticky ooey gooey oozing healing LOVE…

God is recapturing His peace – from us – for us – for Himself.  His peace is in pieces. He knows how to work thru us to piece it all back together… He loves us…

Let us all keep practicing peace so that pieces of peace will come to LIGHT…

Let us all Love His Peace…



There are Summer Bugs, Lord!!! 27SEP – #595



There are Summer Bugs, Lord!!! 27SEP

I hear them Lord! Chirp chirp chirp,  ….crickets!!! Crickets just like those Peepers Lord that You made me notice in the spring – and those stars you made me notice the previous Fall…. it’s almost almost Fall, but summer is holding it’s own until the last minute.  I’m thankful Lord, I really am, You knew I needed to hear that sound…. I need fall retreat but it’s still the chirp of continued summer – and that’s music to my ears and warmth to my soul… it’s still something to chirp about – and that’s You Lord… I sing praises in chirping peeps and in stunned silence to Your Love…

I do have trouble Lord, but I’ll keep my cards and not trade troubles with others.  I will accept my lot and I will make do – no Lord, I will make better than that – I will make praises with and for my humbling troubles because I remember that You have blessed me endlessly and forever… I will make do with my lot in life but i will make my life do more – for You…

I do have joy, Lord, I have joy and hope – I also have memories that enable to know that You and You alone delivered me from the season of spring peepers to now the end of summer… You are my provider as scripture reminds me. You know what i need and I’m grateful

So, I’ll just snuggle up a little more rest at the end of the night before day dawns, but when I do get going (soon, I’m getting there) I’ll have to make my own chirps because winter brings no sounds of spring peepers or summer bugs – a very quiet season is next – imagine the quiet of falling leaves… imagine the quiet of listening ears…  Imaging me trying to not worry- I’ll just chirp my own way thru the day and keep moving…

Thanks Lord


31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6

Beautiful Mercy, 24SEP – #594



Beautiful Mercy, 24SEP

I’m drawn and pulled in many directions, but I knew I wanted to get to one of these Paul Simon farewell concerts or I would have regretted it… Concerts are my choice of retail therapy these last couple years…

I was glad that the train only had one direction, because I couldn’t go backwards- I was worried about my Dad and my Mom, because on my way to that train to the concert I heard about my Dad breaking his leg earlier that day… louder than the wheels turning in my head I could hear them say: “don’t change your plans”… they always say that…. I knew that my brother was there and they all said “it’s ok he’s stable, no surgery for a while… Don’t come…” So I continued on the train – on the one way path I was led on…

We got to the concert with minutes to spare, I got a piece of chocolate from my travelling companion and the music started and we found ourselves in Graceland – that’s the feeling of mercy – forgiveness for fast pace life – forgiveness because we ask for a moment of mercy to put the outside world aside and enjoy our slice of peace – God said: you are ok, you got here and now just relax and enjoy… it’s mercy to be allowed to enjoy, to feel right at home,  to just BE…..

“Hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again” …   this time in the darkness there were also thousands of singing souls lifting and lighting up the arena with their spirit of appreciation to live in the moment – everyone was so thankful for Paul Simon – his music lighted up their lives – they were all thankful they were there – thankful for a short period of peace… thankful to sing along… Paul’s 60 plus years of music, all still beautiful…

Beautiful Mercy….

I’m grateful that I heard the Lord comfort me to seemingly say: “enjoy this farewell – enjoy this piece of peace”… and I did – and I reflect now that I was so grateful to be there…

Similarly, at church on Sunday, i knew that I was supposed to be there – it is feeling… Singing Psalm 1, my requested song, seemed perfect regardless if I might start crying,  I didn’t cry because God needed me to not cry – He needed me to be strong – He knew there were many more people who needed to see me strong and to see my prayer and praise of the Lord – people who were in need to be lifted up – many in worse situations than what I was experiencing… it’s all relative…

It is great mercy for the Lord to help you realize that you were led…

God blesses us and leads us…

God gives mercy…

Beautiful mercy…

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Believing before Beholding – an Open Tomb – an Open Relationship with Christ, 26Sep – #593



Believing before Beholding – an Open Tomb – an Open Relationship with Christ, 26Sep

The bible and bible folklore uses that word: “Behold” and we put movie theatrics behind it… – “BEHOLD the Risen Christ”! …. Yet in Mark’s Gospel (a writing of Peter’s emotional experiences with Jesus) the Easter morning story ends abruptly – the women at the tomb don’t get to “Behold” the risen Christ, yet… the story ends with them hearing “He is Risen” – but with the women leaving, running in fear… In our lives and in the movies we skip over that running in fear portion – we just want to know the end of the story…

I’ve learned a lot from Michael Card’s “Biblical Imagination” series, where he has the gospels detailed according to the writer’s circumstances. I learned that our memories are a weaving of the different biblical versions plus our theatrical minds filled with John Wayne-like movies…. In truth, there are still many scholar debates of what to include or not in the gospels, even discussions about who is who… this theorist says that Mark is likely the owner of the house where Jesus held the last supper, and perhaps the man running out to hear the commotion at the Garden during Jesus’s arrest was Mark… and guess what? The gospel details the man running out only in a sheet – which he loses in the mob scene during his escape… Why would the bible need a theatrical scene of a man losing his sheet – we focus on the funny image but the image was not that at all – it was running in fear – we skip over that often…

Clearly the gospel authors had target audiences in mind…  Mark’s writings are detailed but not verbose… Mark was recording the account of Peter that would relate best with his readers who were experiencing the tyranny in Rome…. So fear was well known by his readers… He still was conveying a message of faith..   to behold the belief that they would be ok thru the tyranny – without seeing peace right now- that’s the message Mark was sending…

It’s the feeling that God needs us to experience too – believing without always seeing… Behold faith… We are asked to believe both when we are calm and when we are running in fear…

The account of the women indicates that none of the disciples actually believed Jesus would come back risen… in death, a tangible thing, they had to attend to the body. With Jesus’s body gone they only had open questions – that leap of faith, of Jesus being risen, had to be prodded by the angel – just like the cracking of the tomb, the cracking open of our faith requires prodding… Faith from prodding not always proof…

And these women still had immense fear… at this ending of the gospel there is no closure to the readers – perhaps because there is no closure for an open relationship between each person and their faith… we can desire satisfaction with understanding but that takes great leaps of faith…

Do we fear our own leaps of faith? Jesus wants us to believe even thru fear… In bad times do we not want to believe that God is still in control – do we fear faith? it’s all a personal journey… people only believe when they believe, in their own time – faithfully Jesus shepherd’s us, faithfully standing by – He knows it takes a leap of faith to acknowledge Him – He even knows it takes fearful running leaps of faith to process our own faith…

No closure here – only an open tomb – an open relationship – opening our hearts to faith….

The women were running in fear, but they had each other to witness their experience – after running i imagine they talked it out with each other – and as a reader of the story which ends abruptly, I pray they found their faithful open relationship with Jesus.

I pray we all find and open that relationship to Jesus… then we can Behold our belief in Christ…


40 Some women were watching from a distance. Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joseph, and Salome. 41 In Galilee these women had followed him and cared for his needs. Many other women who had come up with him to Jerusalem were also there. —  47 Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Joseph saw where he was laid. Mark 15

Mark 16:1

When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus’ body. 2 Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb 3 and they asked each other, “Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?”

4 But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. 5 As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

6 “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. 7 But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’”

8 Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.


Not in the original was Jesus’s appearance to Mary – some debate any of verses past verse 8 were written by Mark at all…  9 When Jesus rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had driven seven demons. Mark 16

What I Learned, 24Sep – #592



What I Learned, 24Sep

I learned I’m human

I learned I’m blessed

I learned God has already been thinking about my next decision

I learned that I don’t need anything but to focus on His plans

I learned His plans need studying

I learned that when you dress up and put on cute shoes and your plans get changed that your shoes are still cute

I learned that you are the same person before and after the clock strikes midnight…

I learned in life that those things you can’t control don’t have to control you

I learned that you get to look at the one shoe remaining after midnight and remember how you felt wearing it just before

I learned to keep learning

I learned to learn faster

I learned to keep moving no matter what

I learned to “choose today whom I will serve” – every day – I learned I had no choice but to make the choice…

I learned I knew all this already

I learned that God still loves me even if I forget what I learned

I learned I had already learned

I learned to walk faster when walking thru the valley of death

I learned to try to BE STILL

I learned to wait upon the Lord

I learned to listen

I learned to call out

I learned to listen even more

I learned my cup overflows

I learned that I love learning

I learned:

1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Paul Simon – Hurricane Eye, 22SEP – #591



I wrote this a few years ago, I expanded it…

Paul Simon – Hurricane Eye, 22SEP

Living in the hurricane eye feeling is as real to me today as it ever was… We live in hurricane eyes, if we choose to let Jesus pull us in…

Hurricanes of life surround us, Jesus holds us in the eye… There’s a Paul Simon song (of course), Hurricane Eye,

I truly “fell asleep in a washing machine, woke up in a hurricane eye” because Jesus cleansed me with his washing – and He pulled me into that hurricane eye – He gave me peace. But He must hold me anew each day – sometimes grabbing my arms – sometimes gently squeezing my hand. And each day I must hold on tight to Him too.  Each day i don’t always get into the eye completely,  and some days i can’t even see that eye… but He’s got me – He’s got all of us…

Yes, Jesus holds us and we can hold onto Him. Every day…

Finding peace means Jesus holding us tightly back from us running or simply drifting into the hurricane… Finding peace means Jesus sometimes lets us stand on His shoulders and see beyond the eye and remind ourselves that we shouldn’t want to leave His comfort.

And sometimes we need to turn away from looking at that hurricane and bury ourselves in Jesus’s robes and hide…

Peaceful as a hurricane eye is probably as peaceful as we are going to get on earth in a broken world… a spinning crazy broken world – and we do have to hold on because eventually peace will be all there is….

So Hold on… Hold Him…

Hold onto your faith… Hold onto Jesus…


Here’s the end of the lyrics

Over the bridge of time
I’m walking with my family
And the road begins to climb
And it’s oh Lord how we going to pray
With crazy angel voices
All night
Until it’s a new day

Peaceful as a hurricane
Peaceful as a hurricane
Peaceful as a hurricane eye
Peaceful as a hurricane
Peaceful as a hurricane
Peaceful as a hurricane eye
Peaceful as a hurricane eye

You want to be leader?
You want to change the game?
Turn your back on money
Walk away from fame
You want to be a missionary?
Got that missionary zeal?
Let a stranger change your life
How does it make you feel?
You want to be a writer
But you don’t know how or when
Find a quiet place
Use a humble pen

You want to talk talk talk about it
All night squawk about
The ocean and the atmosphere
Well I’ve been away for a long time
And it looks like a mess around here
I’ll be away for a long time
So here’s how the story goes
There was an old woman
Who lived in a shoe
She was baking a cinnamon pie
She fell asleep in a washing machine
Woke up in a hurricane eye