Church Family Cousins, 20Jun – #192 **


Right now it is dawn in the mountains, camping with a great friend from church, helped her open her cabin for the season… It’s her and her kids tackling the big tasks and building new family memories…

Truly a prime example of church folks becoming my extended family (family away from family) and in turn I became extended family to them… Giving back as much love and time as I can, being part of a reciprocal family network… She needed the help, I love to work hard, I needed the retreat (no phone or data service), I needed to sit on a rock and unwind… after a great night’s sleep – this devotion came at dawn – about building Jesus’ net:

Church Family Cousins, 20Jun

Remembering how blessed I am for my blood family AND my blood family. My blood family extends deep and wide biologically, established in my parents generous LOVE, making every effort travel and to share with me a great multiplicity of extended love… cousins… “let’s go meet your cousins”… and I did… I have absorbed their love… I have given back love…

Most of the travel adventures I had as a child were on the way to see aunts, uncles, and cousins… Twice a year up and down the east coast – hitting all the big and little tourist and history hot spots and taking time to interact with the locals along the way.

Blood cousins, we are far apart now in a too busy lifestyle, society demands busyness, vacation for us now is less frequently cousin-hopping, and certainly less interacting with locals along the way…

Same in church… Blood relatives are there too, united in Christ’s blood. I came to church with a small baby, I came to establish roots, I moved away from my family, I came to church to grow more, I knew I needed them – but I needed them more than I knew… I found family anew. They then became my cousins in Christ.

My Roots, His Net…

In a new church I worked hard establishing deep roots, that fed me first in society love, but that grew into family love, that I was able to extend back to them… Love so deep that I don’t want to dig it up and transplant… And love so strong that I had to extend out extra roots into new space, into extra non-congregational lands to support my ever growing faith…

Faith family became blood family when, I accepted Jesus, took in His Flesh and Blood AND acknowledged a path that I must travel. “The path is narrow, but it is sure”… I don’t have a map for this path – A compass yes! and a firm sense of my skill set, and enough supplies to last a lifetime… Yes and direction – Jesus gives us direction – “He will show you the path to take Proverbs 3:6… Yes it’s travelling time.

Cousin-hopping feeds you love best when you reciprocate… When you are as much the giver of love as the recipient… When you provide the soil for your blood cousins to put down their roots.

When you look to your congregational family for support, it’s good to ask yourself if you have done the same for them… Feed them so much – and don’t worry if you get it directly back, hopefully we all realize that we are being fed cross-network and not back and forth…. Set up this network for others as you have enjoyed for yourself… Trust me, you will be fed… Just change the type of diet you long for…. Feed on JESUS’ LOVE and not individual human love and you will never go hungry. Look for the love of Jesus under stones, in the dark spaces, and plain as day in the open… But make sure you cousin-hop. Don’t over eat.

At first I went to church for the people. I needed and always will need people, that’s who I am, that will never change. Once in my church family, I followed God’s love in a unique path that I didn’t realize I was taking. God drew me near and I found Jesus along the way. In a long term plan, God was reeling me in… Slow but sure… Slow enough that my wriggling didn’t unhook me, God used a wide hook made even wider by my own extension of love into my church family, a network woven tight, built strong… A network that is GOD’S fishing net, the tighter the weave, the smaller the fish you can catch, the wider the net, the wider the range of fish you can catch, the stronger the safety net behind the first net, the more fish you won’t lose when things break…

See Jesus is a Fisher of men… Humans are the fish caught in the nets, but they must then become the nets themselves… They can be the builders of new nets, repairers of old nets, designers of new net styles, and then embed themselves into that net.

Anytime you network in Christ means you produce more nets for His work, for Him to draw upon…

See, after I accepted Jesus, I accepted being part of HIS net. I know my tool set, sometimes I build, sometimes I repair, sometimes I design, but all the time I network from within, by being part of that net… I am and we are called to work, as well as exist… we must be networked to work within and not outside God’s workshop.

I used to go to church – for the people…. Jesus caught me in His net… So, I now hunger NOT for people love but JESUS LOVE… And so I now go to be the church – for the people… same reason – new love –  JESUS LOVE… I am here for Jesus. I am blessed to be a member and a builder of His Net.


Calm with Christ, 19JUN – #191



Calm with Christ, 19JUN
A very emotional day with church shootings and life happening… I’m just reflecting on stress tonight… I usually stay calm… Why? How? from 1) training my heart to wait until I evaluate the situation before I respond with emotion… And 2) from just having Faith… being sure things will work out….


Calmness, I try to know which battles to pick… Which ones to stop…

I have trained in calmness, due to life circumstances… 1) I learned to stifle emotional feedback to grief-rich situations when knocked down repeatedly, humbling tends to strengthen us… it’s NOT fun… It’s where I learned to retract, not to cry…. I trained successfully, hardened my heart, grew thick skin, there is part of a tom petty song that fits this, but too salty for this… But this is not a unique situation; you make the best of life stresses…

For a light example: I was at my uncle’s yard sale, something dumped over and he jumped and screeched, and I realized I didn’t even move a muscle…. not even a finch… I am not oblivious, quite opposite, I knew instantly something had happened, I just waited a golden peaceful second to process how I was going to react..

Calm, yet in this awakening I let God THAW my heart ALOT… He melted it, but I am/was the one who decided whether to let down my walls or not…. And I am the only one who can apply the armor of God for myself, no one else…. When they say weep with those who weep, and laugh with those who rejoice, yeah…. my melted heart allows me to show more depth in my emotional state… It was there always, I already felt deeply… but what to display…. Now I feel released to cry more, to laugh deeper, to extra bubble over and over and over…

As I re-learn emotional release… I appreciate the re-practice… I have such JOY in the Lord, and I do cry when I bubble over in sadness now, when I pre-project into the future about the sadness of things beyond my control… But I take comfort with Faith in the One true God who will see me thru. And I tear up with the overflowing realization of how blessed I am…why me now…SO loved…. Overwhelming love….

So readjust I must…Calm with Christ…

2nd Timothy 3, God’s Blatant Reminders to build HIS kingdom, 17Jun – #190


190…. 2nd Timothy 3, God’s Blatant Reminders to build HIS kingdom, 17Jun

connected to my recent God sightings……Author Rick Lawrence’s recent blog post (below) spoke of the last letter to Timothy from Paul…. Paul reminds him the basic gospel truth again and again…. Lest Timothy and all us forgetful people forget to look to God everyday for the truth, the gospel truth, that God is in charge! Lest we forget “Be Still and Know I am God”.

The blatant God sightings are reflections upon how much we attribute to God: none, some, or ALL… The biggest blessing and human distinguishing feature is our consciousness. Why? Why do I get to question why? Why?

We see, hear, feel, taste and smell – 5 ways- and then we process…. We uniquely process, some faster than others, some with rose colored glasses and some with thorns choking out the light.

Humans attribute, humans can see but not believe, humans question, humans not only forget but doubt…. Humans are human…. and often humans negate God sightings or the existence of God all together.

ALL in ALL, God rules, God had a plan, it’s a long term plan, filled with joys and disasters we cannot even begin to fathom…. God gives us glimpses because He loves us, reminds us.  God sightings to make us smile, believe, fear HIS awesomeness and befriend HIS faithfulness.

WE see, hear, feel, taste and smell – 5 ways – but most blessedly, we process…. God gives us the tools to see HIM, everyday, let’s not forget to look, AND most importantly, don’t JUST sit back and enjoy, let’s NOT forget to use our tools to build HIS kingdom… We are here for His purpose, when we lose ourselves, we will find ourselves in HIS Kingdom.

3 Timothy 3:

“The Man of God and the Word of God

10 But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, 11 persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra—what persecutions I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me. 12 Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. 13 But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived. 14 But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, 15 and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

———- Forwarded message ———-

From: “Jesus-Centered Life” <>

In his old age, and with the end of his life on the horizon, Paul offers this parting advice to his longtime ministry partner Timothy: “Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel, for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal” (2 Timothy 2:8-9). Why would Paul have to remind Timothy, a man whose whole life orbited around Jesus, about something as basic as the gospel? Because he is humble enough to admit the truth: Everyone, including Paul, Timothy, John the Baptist, Peter, and the disciples…and you and me…are notorious forgetters.

— Rick Lawrence


Six Months – Hatching Seven, 17JUN – #190


190 Six Months – Hatching Seven, 17JUN

It’s six months today, from my first positive awakening process piece, “Christmas Flood, 17Dec”  it’s half a year but half a lifetime ago, waking up is a long and short process.   Just like my hatched butterfly “Seven” whose photo (at 777 kb size) is attached, I came out but am still stretching my wings…”Seven” would shake him/her self and motion very purposefully to fill in all the fluid on her beautiful painted lady butterfly wings. She even excreted bright red droplets as she worked the fluid thru… Those on my hand stained for a day.

Thanks to all for being so supportive, I feel to be still stretching my wings, shaking sometimes purposefully and sometimes instinctively, and likely flapping to keep myself afloat.

And so I caught up this blog of my writings today. I was hoping to quiet my writings for a while (at least until after VBS) and move into life’s pressing tasks…. Nope…. Yeah, not my choosing…. I blogged them for convenience, collecting them in a fashion that is public but not advertised… Advertising is up to God…. I will be at the ready to tell my story both in short (like to the cashier at the convenience shop – I just said I focused on God and not eating for my weight loss) and in long format (these nearly 200 posts).

And you really don’t have to read them!!!!  But I so appreciate when you do and your wonderful feedback…..  If someone sent them to me, I probably wouldn’t read them!!!! Just know that I appreciate you letting me shake my wings until I am ready to fly…. Who knows, maybe a frog will gobble me up, whatever GOD’S PLAN, I have to be at the ready…

Seven for 190

Really God? St Deborah? 16Jun – #189


189 Really God? St Deborah? – 16Jun

This post is one of the biggest emotional releases in a while of “REALLY GOD?”  Why are you doing this?

This is why I pray for discernment…. am I just going crazy? Seeing things? Or is God truly orchestrating these blatant and I admit silly connections in my life? And not being shy about showing me? I don’t think it’s blasphemous to question, it’s probably really good to test and verify what is God given and what is “lead into temptation” maneuvering by the devil…. I just happen to question and praise out loud… (It probably makes the devil even madder…. He’s coming for me, I have to be ready!!! Flash my smile and my Jesus card)…

Holy S(pirit)–  this website

says Saint Deborah was commemorated on December 17th… that’s the date of my first writing with awakening….  Christmas Flood!!! (my diatribe piece was Dec 10th)…. But Dec 17th I was flooded with Christmas… Holy you know what.., I said “You gotta be kidding me Lord!!!” LOL!!!!

I looked up Saint Deborah while I was stuck in traffic after coming thru a rain storm in which I was inside a rainbow… cool… The spray coming up from a truck with perfect sun at our backs and I put myself right at the end of the rainbow for about 2 min until I drove through it. Remembering that God keeps His promises….and I started thinking about myself and being myself… And remembering St Deborah’s commission and being an exception to the rule (pretty cool if you check out the website)… And it’s raining Christmas rain apparently now too… Dec17th…

God has me pegged…. Thanks GOD for over abundance of reminders!

God’s Crossing Us – #188


188 God’s Crossing Us

While wearing this glittery cross on Sunday, which my cousin gave me, I appreciated also singing the praise song “Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus”…

“When you’re dull from all that glitters… all you need to know is where you belong …”

I know that although it’s fun to touch and see this big clunky glittery cross, I reflected that it is nothing compared to the feeling of clinging to the real cross I now have within – now that level of belonging truly warms my heart! God’s crossing of us is crossing us safely into HIS LOVE for LOVE for EVER.

subaru chr

Crucifers – God’s Back crossing, Jun – #187


187 Crucifers – God’s Back Crossing Jun

From an email to my pastor:  more verses that make connection with his seed planting sermon:

John 14
22 Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”

23 Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. 24 Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

mmm…. yeah perfect… totally goes with the winnowing concept of seed and chaff separation – from yesterday’s sermon –

and also Mark 4, the four soils… God grows the crops of the seeds we plant and sometimes the harvest is 30-fold, 100-fold etc – sometimes we see the harvest and often we won’t be around for the ongoing harvests.
Mark 4: 20 Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what was sown.”

Back crossing… So God has been winnowing us and the church for years and years – this is nothing new – and God can take all the time He wants… Perhaps (like in your sermon) our global church enrollment decline is one of the natural progressions of winnowing the chaff away.  Perhaps the desired results are to GO OUT (and also to GO INTO our churches) and remove the chaff part and just plant the highest percentage of seeds… be a good sower – but also prepare the soils – and prepare the fields for God’s rain – and the rest will follow… Just like you said “do the best you can for God and He will take care of the rest”… yup…

I myself had to separate seed from the chaff many times in school… and I had friends who spent hours and hours of doing that – tiniest Arabidopsis thaliana seeds, the smallest of crucifers (this type with white 4-petal cross flowers – the crucifer name standing for crucifixion) in the Brassicacea-family of plants – an ideal 5-chromosome model plant system for all types of genetic and molecular work). Well, one friend found a very unusual mutant back in school – and couple of days ago I chatted with him and he is upset that ten years later he didn’t keep re-planting those seeds and harvesting to keep the strain alive – because seeds do dry up and lose viability… you have to continually plant and “back cross” plants to get the desired traits – you have to breed what you want into the strains…

That speaks to me as God’s mission – God has to back cross us with HIS Word and the LOVE of Jesus to produce the best from us with the best attributes He wants… and we can’t let our gifted seeds rot in our pockets – we have to actively plant and harvest – and plant and harvest – so that we don’t lose God’s growth of that lineage of good people – I mean seeds 😉

God is “back-crossing” us – with the Cross – Jesus’ cross – it’s not just a play on words – it’s really God’s way to increase the yield – the harvest to heaven…