333
(LOL – that 333 is half a devil of a number and this is a devil of a piece with me being boastful of fitting into my wedding dress after so much weight lost – LOL – God forgive me!)
This writing was fluff-ish (balancing pagan therapy and God therapy) but God made me feel like it was unfinished for a few days and today triple sent the scripture to finish it and bring real meaning to the thought “don’t worry”… From Matthew 6… “Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?” and today a friend in church stated EXACTLY what that scripture speaks to – this essay and that Matthew 6 scripture meaning quadruplicated in showing up.. plus the “do not worry” scripture #34 has quadruplicated too – with the pastor’s sermon today and a lunch conversation with the girls making it the theme of the week – cool God, cool!
So here is the “fluff” piece that addresses what I should address – that I need to address my issues with God – and listen… And TRUST!!! and I really really need to thank God for I feel I have been given all these wonderful things this year because I am the recipient of verse #33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
A Dress Inward, A Dress Outward, Address God, Dec28, JAN 09
So I posted a photo on Facebook of me re-fitting into my wedding dress to say how blessed I am – to have God focus me and reduce my weight burden over a course of one year, from a size 22 down to a 12… I had wanted to try on my wedding dress ever since I started losing weight, and yes it fit – 23 years later! I love the freedom of new things I could never do before – like run – like sprint to catch something – like climb a mountain if I wanted – gaining a life doesn’t hold me back attitude because I left my old arthritic knees behind with the old me! Health-wise I feel better than I did as a teenager and i certainly appreciate it more!
SO blessed… So much to PRAISE God for – a new life inside and out!!! God truly makes me feel beautiful inward and now beautiful outward too…
And then I put the dress away… that was nice but it was human fluff concern and not really what God was making me change my ways for – yes it was fun to dress – but as Matthew 6 states… “Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?”
So I rolled the crinkly dress and veil and 15 foot train back up and put it back in the acid free box… Only God knows what I should do with this dress because it is strange to keep a dress in a box 23yrs or more, very few daughters want to wear their mother’s dresses – I paid more for dry cleaning it then I did for the material for the dress itself, as I sewed it with my two aunts help for less than $100… the “going away dress” material I also re-used for my daughter’s baptismal dress… functional and sweet…
Out of my vanity I aggravated my mom (which I should not have done) by making her delete all but one photo, I truly shouldn’t have done that, she wouldn’t have posted them – but still – I wanted control of what’s out there with my vain concern of how I look in this dress… Which is silly, why am I now MORE concerned at size 12 in how I look then when I was at size 22! Why do I act more like a teenager now then when I was a teenager with this new life?…. it’s strange that I let my inside inner thoughts fly free on the internet, but try to control my outer image…which is the least important part of what makes me me… it is something I need to address with God – and I do ask every time I catch myself looking in the mirror and marveling about this God-gifted weightloss – I pray I don’t become like the Greek God Narcissus – I can see the people who do fall into the trap of outer appearance obsessions… Gee, in the old days I just used to be happy if I matched my socks – silly – but perhaps I will get used to this new me…Same issue with wearing a new pair of fancy boots – I love the fact that I can dress up now… they were inexpensive and a gift but still pride in self is half praise and half waste – and yet God I think lets me have a little fun…
Yeah – that is the big concern – when I realized I was too boastful in my salvation I thought maybe I should become a nun – well that is not going to happen!!! but at least I need to worry less about dress – because to worry about “a dress” and how to dress is so less important then to “address” inward thoughts about how am I stand up to God’s law – and to ask forgiveness… To show a boast of pride that I fit in the dress (even though I feel it was God who changed me) is just as sinful as any other sin… And yet, one has to try to conform to community standards of expectations to give the appearance that you care enough about yourself – because they say if you don’t care about yourself then how will you care about my concerns… So, it’s good and fun to present yourself well… And I am in a re-balance of pride vs God’s wish that I show humility… God knows that I do want to praise all of HIS blessings gifted to me – just like ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
I also do not want to show pride that it was God-himself who showered me with all this affection and show pride that it was God-himself who caused my salvation. I wish to demonstrate His wide-spread power to focus on and change my heart and my body – while He also (at the same time) handles the WHOLE world of people. He has so much scope because He is GOD!!!
I acknowledge God as our greatest blessing, I hope all my excessive outward overflows of appreciation “a-dress-es” all my outward outflows of how beautiful God has made me feel…
Matthew 6: 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Debbie Upper 