Honesty, 28NOV – #305

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305

Honesty, 28NOV

Honestly I want to be clear that my intentions are JUST to praise what God has done and spread HIS GOOD NEWS… I have nothing to prove to people, that’s not why I want to tell them about my spiritual growth… I was raised to be thankful and honestly I bubble, I can’t help it….. And I try to be humble, but honestly I have to find that balance of humility and just EXPLODING with excitement.

I pray I don’t come off as boastful… People say it’s ok how I am, but I just don’t want to be like the Genesis song “mad man moon” and fly too high with wings of my own from excitement and lose focus… That’s not what God wants. He wants focus… He wants me tethered, because I can’t reach others unless I am seen as down to earth, as one of the fellow travelers to the garden. So sure, l have felt more dancing on the water with Jesus than sinking without Him this year, especially after recovering after a surprising set of devilish trials (doubt, doubt, and doubt) but maybe it’s weird but it’s just me…. Yes, i have heard previously awakened folks tell me I would encounter many trials and I did, and I do, and I pause to praise God for His “own special way of holding my hand” (another Genesis song) thru them… I think God has allowed me this feeling of dancing in my heart to sustain me, to constantly remind me that my smile (our smiles) come ALWAYS from HIM shining thru… And to NEVER want to let go of HIS hand. And since I can still look at my life from an outsider point of view, I know I have such tremendous trials ahead of me…

And before those rough times come my way, I can see how God found this window of opportunity to wake me up into HIS service…. He is continually cementing me strongly into wanting to share share share….

So, I thought I really want to tell my Facebook and friends world about my spiritual writing in the more public forum of blogging. – I am going to share at the 1 year anniversary of my first diatribe writing in mid December.

See I think I became bold (in this still safe blogging manner) for processing AND for teaching… Because those are not mutually exclusive… You don’t have to understand and have processed everything before you can speak about you and your relationship with God… I mean if I hadn’t spoken, questioned and processed out loud, I surely never would be where I am now… and I know God does position me in my friend groups because my friends ARE protecting me from being too loud – too questioning – too processing… I know that God is working THRU them… and yet I know when it is right for me to stretch my wings a bit wider – I don’t think God minds (yet) – because I am trying to stretch ONLY with Jesus holding me up – Jesus will make my heart light and fly – I know – it’s the truth…

God will remind me to stay humble if I don’t…

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