Autocorrect, Sin Trials, and Spring Pruning, 20MAY – #159

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159 Autocorrect, Sin Trials, and Spring Pruning, 20MAY

I am so re-convicted almost everyday of complaining or doing something not in the right Christ-centered mode and then find myself in the exact wrong position I complained about!!!! You should have seen my terrible autocorrect to a former professor of mine and then on top of that – I pocket called him three times and send a gibberish text and even a photo – of a poinsettia (luckily not something else) – whew – God laughs at me – at least it was not to someone who would think less of me – this person already knows I am crazy… sometimes a friend says: “there goes Debbie trying to save the world again!”…

These thoughts are so fitting with last week’s conversation with my professor about not pointing out the sins in others first. That’s because I think this phase of my new Christianity is just that – I am being convicted on all the sins that I picked apart in other people – the sin of rushing – the sin of accusing people – the sin of a few other things I can’t mention in an email – none of them to a terrible level – but still I am being shown how painful they are to be burdened with… Like a cliff-note version of sin instead of the whole book and WOW, God is whipping through these lessons so fast on me – I can’t even imagine what next months lessons will be!!!! (But actually I think it is the Devil trying to grasp at straws and making a last ditch effort to see what he can catch me on… And when I just show him my Jesus card he retreats and he says “rats, foiled again.. “…

I really want to pause time and just sit down on a rock for a bit – I am so blessed that my friend sent this encouraging email today – and sent a visual youtube video today of the book of John – wow – it is awesome and I randomly picked a place in the three hour movie – and it was where Jesus went out into the desert to retreat himself – I am so in need of that – just retreat myself for a short time – (actually I want to catch up on work first – then retreat) – I think that being recent trials meant being pruned in the spring time – and that has been very painful compared to when I had been regrafted painlessly in the winter. These trials, although are not earth-shattering, are still painful…. and so that phrase “You did not choose me -but I chose you so that you would bear fruit – well – little snippets coming off me in this spring pruning is tough…but it will cause me to bear more fruit – I know this because I believe it….

Last week I was reminded the possibilities of “if you are hated – remember that I was hated first” – whew…. and I was reminded of my Bernadette confirmation name – in the movie the nun (who tends to Bernadette in the convent) is so harsh on her because she was never pained and because she was seemingly naive and had not been through enough teachings, enough endurance, enough pain, enough trials to be worthy in this nun’s eyes to claim to have seen a divine site – “That there is no promises of a good life in this world, only in the next one” – and the nun is ticked that Bernadette hasn’t seen this pain – and then a few months later she is noticed limping in prayer walking and although she has never complained, turns out she has this terrible diseased leg – and dies soon after – and the nun has been convicted of that statement – the nun totally believes – because Bernadette must have been so saintly to have endured that pain… and never complained…

So – where am I going with this thought? Well, I am not being pushed down into the depth of the great pain and suffering – but I am tasting a little of this and a little of that to get more appreciation of the pain/temptations/distractions of everyone else – enough but while still being able to be focused on Jesus and saying – “oh yeah – that happened because I said that” or “oh yeah – that happened because I did that” – well – painful springtime pruning ! Lord knows what kind of fruit is going to come out of this situation – but whew – God is good and in control…. overwhelming and I better stock up on those pen caps – because I am going to need them – going to be a stressful chewing time while I spin through these minI trials… maybe I need to match them up with the 7 deadly sins to see what score I have so far…and what is coming next….

 

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