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My writing – My identity is not important, 11MAY

Two great sermons yesterday, I listened in the car, old ones from 5 yrs ago,  both giving me scripture which helped me with my pondering… I love it when a scripture finds me…  especially this one John 21:15-25…    the surmonist said it wasn’t our identity that was important, plus in life all we need to know is the fact that Jesus loves us and that’s ALL we need to know..  we are not here to be compared to other disciples…. Everyone will have their own path to discipleship which of course means their own way of processing.

Yup, John 21:25… so at least I realize from this pondering that the way to publish my awakening story will be anonymously… when I’m ready…. I will still tell others I meet, enthusiastically tell then that God changed me, others didn’t change me, but God himself took it upon himself to corrective action my faith… moved my faith mountain right in front of me and told me to climb…. no great fanfare, no devastating punch, no lightning…. God found the right tools (bible teachings, contemplative text, sermon recordings, music, drive time, social media, writing, and of course people), He told me it was time to get myself out of the way and believe…. He sliced and regrafted my connection to the vine, swift, gentle and precise….

When scripture finds me I take notice, and when I find me in Scripture I best to follow the advice… I knew the fish story, I knew Peter had to affirm three times, but had not heard that last verse before, about writing it all down….

Even though I didn’t want or mean to write my journey down, I did – I found that when I wrote I kept my mind open and my mouth shut – and I wrote to think – and I want to share it because it is true – I didn’t make it up – I was there – I guess I shared this story because I am like my confirmation name, Bernadette Soubirous, I just want people to believe me …  not look to me, not look up to me  – just believe me….  if I want to touch people out there, in the world, people I don’t know, who don’t know me, then of course my identity means nothing… they wouldn’t know me anyway.  Actually I want people to believe my story, not believe me, if it is truly a story worth telling, then it will stand on its own…

God is just setting me in his chess set in the right position now… I am not the queen , the jester likely…And the jester doesn’t even get a square, the jester is free to hop on and off the board… to go where no other can go… this totally NOT about me…. it is about how I can make a difference in my own (?) special way… NO, in God’s special way….

Sigh… Thanks Jesus and beloved disciple for the pep talk. 😉 I am listening.

John 21:24 This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who wrote them down. We know that his testimony is true.   25 Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

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Jesus Reinstates Peter (from John 21)

15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. 18 Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”19 Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”

20 Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) 21 When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”

22 Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” 23 Because of this, the rumor spread among the believers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; he only said, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?”

24 This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who wrote them down. We know that his testimony is true.

25 Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

THE BEATLES

“All You Need Is Love”

Love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love, love

There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It’s easy

Nothing you can make that can’t be made
No one you can save that can’t be saved
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time
It’s easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

Love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love, love

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

Nothing you can know that isn’t known
Nothing you can see that isn’t shown
Nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be
It’s easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need