Humbled Christianity, Proceed with Caution, 31JAN -01Feb – #351

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351

Well after yesterday’s boastful post, it’s fitting for God to have humbled me (gently)… Pulled me back to Psalm 51 instead of the tail end of PSALM 52…

On this FEB 1st day anniversary day of 100%, it’s clear God wants me to BE humble and have a clean heart…

Humbled Christianity, Proceed with Caution, 31JAN -01Feb

Grumble grumble… I got a traffic ticket tonight… sigh… I WAS having such a wonderful day too, RATS! But I feel SO humbled by God right now… I really have to find the praise in this for being humbled, because being humbled really sucks…

I know, I know, I am over critical of myself, this is NOT the end of the world, people are dying in this world and this is JUST a traffic ticket for making a right on red when the light was clearly yellow in an intersection I drive multiple times a day… Of ALL the offenses I’ve could have, this is probably the safest, annoying as it is minor, but it IS a big deal if it signals that I am not paying attention in life – if I am NOT being as aware and present in my driving as I should be… even if some say the officers are trying to meet ticket quotas on the last day of the month, like perhaps they were today, and even if the officer herself encouraged me to go to court to see if I could fight the points, it still means I need to be MORE safe and humble in my driving. STILL, talk about a downer… Boo…. A hundred twenty-eight bucks I doubt I can spare and points… not something I had envisioned today. Not even envisioned it when she stopped me, thought it is had to be JUST a warning for a tail light bulb or something… I WAS too overconfident, NOT humble, even with those lights flashing, really i was trying to assure my scared daughter in the back seat… Who is still upset… Sigh…

Of course, this humbling has to do with me and my Subaru…And no, I am not overstating Subaru life lessons… and OF COURSE there’s other things going on in my head about my car and my driving and my life right now, that’s why it’s not shallow, that is why it ALL comes together in this piece… It’s ALL related to my thoughts about: What’s in store for me next Lord? I recently boastfully talked about Your gift of salvation too, Lord… I beg your mercy for that!!!… My path this next year Lord is probably going to have to accept humility, isn’t it…. I thought so… I project too much with where I feel I want to go in my next year of wholeness with Jesus. I project that I can make things happen. I know but I forget, too often, that it’s YOU Lord who makes things happen and should direct our steps… It’s YOUR plan not mine!

I was bold to speak to thank the church congregation for their support as I wrapped up this year, I praised God for so many blessings… Yeah well, I better start this next awakened year by praising God for being humbled by God in a relatively safe and light fashion. Because truly, God’s humbling could be much much more harsh… So I praise God’s gentle touch on me when I am being too harsh on myself or too prideful of my own angst?

I do need God’s hand in my life because the day before I made a MUCH worse traffic faux pas, I turned as soon as the light turned green neglecting that they were cars coming my direction… THANK GOD the angels were with us that moment and especially since I was driving a friend in HER car. WE were fine, the other car stopped. I was so stupid to drive being distracted by the GPS and ignoring regular traffic… I was SO embarrassed and SO blessed to have escaped that one, because honestly I think that’s probably the worst thing I’ve ever done in a car. My friend said “you almost were NOT singing with the praise band, but with the angels”… Yup! It’s this traffic ticket today that reminded me of escaping that worse ticket and especially worse consequences yesterday… of being over righteous, overconfident, not paying attention… and worse I remember yesterday that I was NOT embarrassed enough and I was NOT humbled enough by the incident, I put it past me TOO quickly…

God says you missed the boat, I will gently humble you again…

Yeah there are life warnings like car warnings sounds and a flashing light that I’m thinking about but ignoring… yeah I can’t ignore them I have to address these too… I can’t just turn up the radio like I usually do…

So what have I learned about Christianity here? A LOT… No I’m not going to stop being bold about JESUS as SAVIOR, about my faith in Christ to save me, about my LOVE of Jesus and about the blessings He has given me and my friends… and I’m not going to shy away from pushing a little bit of what I think is God’s agenda… BUT – I have to learn more humility and how to proceed with caution… Again I have not been seriously taken down for my overzealous ways but I certainly have seen borderline cases this year where I was misinterpreted or just plain over righteous, not humble, boastful, and hurtful. Times when I was setting up my Christian agenda and not reading God’s… And remember to try to not read a year ahead, but stick with today…

I’ll figure this out WITH YOU God, because I rely on you more and more, even more than before… Last year at this time I thought I was going to save the world because if God did this to me and made me aware of my salvation in such an amazing way – well then everybody’s going to believe me and everybody’s going to turn towards God!!!!! Everyone!!! But it was a fleeting righteous thought because in my heart I knew, humbly, that I wasn’t going to do all that by myself – not just because i was saying “why me?”, but because I knew if God was going to save the WHOLE world by one person, well then He would have done it by now!!! and He could have done it with HIS OWN SON in some explosive, spectacular, miraculously global-reaching amazing fashion – a one shot deal… But NO, God instead put Jesus into the individual personal conversion business… God designed and desired that individually each ONE person would turn their lives over to HIM on their own time, and keep their lives in HIS hands.

God chooses God’s time, not mine, not Jesus’s time frame either – but HIS… God made the plan, we are to try both to not screw up God’s plan, and then to also work within God’s plan, not ours…

God wants to use knowledge in Him – and God will find a way to save whomever HE wants to save… It’s not supposed to be my agenda (i do have my lists though, LOL, yeah)… BUT IT’S NOT UP TO ME… But up to God…. This is what it means to humbly being blessed to work FOR GOD…

This is why we are to be “at the ready” for His service… To be blessed is to put ourselves completely into HIS hands, to encourage and shine HIS light by being the best reflection of Jesus’s LIGHT… It’s not for me to put the best filter on my LIGHT, it’s not my LIGHT but Jesus’s that I am borrowing while on my short life here on earth… It’s Your Grace shown on me that I should want people to notice, Your Grace to me being able to loss this weight, to sing, to even to smile… Those are ALL from you…

It’s not my gifts to give but Yours to use… It’s NOT my words in my writing (or my choice to write) but YOUR words wrote thru my heart… It’s YOUR words that I should want to change the world, it’s YOU not me… You have taught me Lord by using me. You made me your servant Lord to spend my time humbly sharing. I may want to achieve and feel like PSALM 52: “8 But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God;”… But I NEED to be Psalm 51: “10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; And renew a right spirit within me”… Psalm 51 repeated twice yesterday in scripture song too, repeating as we all need to surrender to God’s Will first, be cleaned and then STAY as humbly clean as we can, instead of wiggling out of being surrendered…

I need to ask for more cleaning… Psalm 51 message of wanting to be cleaned of my righteous ways… that humbles me because I even if I thought I already achieved so much in just over a year growing Jesus (I mean God has achieved thru me) there is still deep down hidden soil in my soul that God needs me to work on WITH HIM… Yes I need a more humble heart for the gifts God has bestowed on me… We all do…

I really really know that my whole blessed life is from others praying for me before I was born, and from God planning to use me before I was born, and from God telling me to BE humble… and from God wanting me to ask him to humble me (gently) and Be Still, and KNOW that He is God….

God, YOUR plan is so much more incredibly amazing than mine… Shine on God thru my cracks and flaws, make me humble to do YOUR work Lord not mine…

Save me Lord for YOUR purposes… Create in me a clean heart… Shine on thru…

Amen

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