Part 1, what I thought God would say to me… 17FEB 23FEB – #645



Part 1, what I thought God would say to me… 17FEB 23FEB

Thank you for letting me share

This is long…

You don’t have to read it…. I had to dump old processing….


What I thought God would say to me is a better description of these thoughts rather than saying that God spoke these things to me…  especially since I heard what He eventually said to me after I stopped talking….

Do I now discard these thoughts? I brainstormed them on paper after my physical mental brainstorm, so do I crumple that paper? No…. Do I take the time to cry over these things? Do I cry in relief? because Jesus says ‘let these things go!’ – “Lazarus, it’s time to go” – biblical and from a favorite song of mine… pull it together and move forward… no one who looks back is fit to serve..  keep looking forward,  time is pulling your life forward – focus…

Do I acknowledge my humaness? Do I need Jesus? More than ever…

More than ever… to accept one’s Savior is to accept one’s humaness… to realize His love… then work together to serve the Lord…

Of all things I wish people could feel, see, understand, hear about Jesus is that He urges: ‘I understand, I’m not judging you, but I see all these things running thru your brain, I want to take them and make your burden LIGHT.  I got this!’…

Maybe walking on water with Jesus is first best done by walking thru one’s own tears.  Jesus’s human tears are from people not knowing Him and not knowing that the Kingdom of God has already been calling for them.  Walking thru my tears is because He pulled me thru myself into His net – He had to fish thru my head because He had always had my heart.  He found the right tools  the right bait, He studied me and studied me… if that doesn’t make one cry, I don’t know what will… Jesus saved me because He’s been tasked with saving every lost sheep… I was, I am sheep number 100 – I was lost in myself – Jesus knew where to look – He still does…

Here’s “Part 1” – a dump of my brain from default thoughts – has it been an overwhelming 4 years of being saved?… Wow. WOW doesn’t even begin to explain God, the continued healing of me saying “WOW LORD! REALLY LORD?” phenomenon that’s been exploding in my head for years now… flooded into my head in an hour and a half car drive at the end of a long journey then I dropped my brain on paper and went to bed… I now pour myself a cup of tea and grab box of tissues… and write:

What I thought God would say to me:

BE STILL – the Brownian motion of all your molecules are supposed to be reserved for the Holy Spirit to act upon and motivate,  rally, and move you. “Be still” means not to move yourself when I need to move you. Be still and know that I am God.  This means to know that I have the better plan.  My timing, My plan, My children… Are you in My plan? YES! Be Still and know that I am God, Psalm 46…

1Peter 2:9

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

I am the one who called you out of yourself. Be humble, be discerning, be free of your burdens but be MINE. You are already MINE. I have a gold mine better than gold, I have you, all of you, My children. YOU WORK FOR ME – Jesus reminded you that the Holy Spirit will help you, you have a job to do to share my Word, My Love, My Hope. I will heal you… I will heal the world…

I am the one who gave you discernment – use it.

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.”

1Corinthians 6:19

Yes, as you have been discerning, with help from discussion friends who are My children too, your weight loss was all from My focus. More importantly, your whole awakening was from Me. Be a Temple for Me and as you awakened to learn, I want you to fill your head with My Word. Your thoughts, your health, your life – feed your Temple in all these ways, because it’s Mine.

Yes, as you discerned, your ability to sing is because of Me. You know that you had no voice (and have recorded proof) until you heard My voice and I made your spirit pour into a musical feeding frenzy… I have a plan, you see only a small sliver, you saw a glimpse of serious miracle Holy movement that seriously shifted your mind and life and body into My service. Why did your head explode? Because I am faster than the speed of sound.  God time, God movement is bound to make an explosion or two – but the one in your head was and is so that you stop listening to yourself and start listening to Me!


Your awakening was earth shattering to you because it was NOT from the earth but from Me. You have a spiritual gift for encouragement – use it – tell people that if your joy is seeming incongruous with the situation that you are thinking bigger picture – I have already finished your story – you will have eternal life – and yes, yes, I hear you pestering me to be an angel who gets to spread joy from Heaven – don’t worry, I’ll keep you happy busy in Heaven, so just keep happy busy here on Earth for my time… that’s Heaven on earth, you know,  feeling My love.

If people think you are boasting, try to remember to give me the credit that I am due. Even if they don’t believe you, you know that i heal the brokenhearted – this is what I did for you…  and the whining, I hear that from you too… be aware of how you share.

Yes, you awakened because of Me.

You didn’t believe in Jesus, now you can’t get enough of Him.

You started writing because of Me.

You are an encourager because of Me.

You began singing because of Me.

You are a child of God with an amazing family, life, career, because of me and because of all the prayers and hard work of those who came before you.  Remember that you are a fulfillment of their prayers for you.

You have beautiful children because of Me.  (The teenager’s phenomenon I will explain when you get to heaven. Just hold on tight and keep the faith that this phase will pass. You got awakened just in time, right? That was all Me. My thinking was that you would need My guidance for you.  I was right. And you know how right I am, they are amazing kids turning into amazing adults.  I know because I made them).

Those glimpses when you thought I was using you? You were right, you followed your gut – you were not the miracle maker,  I am… the drifting trucks and the Subaru and the amazing grace song… the old man about to get hit by a car… your Subaru horn was the tool, but Me catching your eye and Me giving you the drive to make a difference was all for My purpose to use My children to help My children.  You didn’t even think, you just acted. That’s my timing.   Those times I saved you miraculously from yourself? Also for My purposes. How about that big FedEx truck you would have smashed into, huh? That soccer mom’s car you almost hit? That kid you didn’t see in the dark? All those saves were from me… keep focused and make it easier on me. OK?

Show your faith not your flaws.


Mercy for all those things that you could have done…

Mercy for your slowness and your rushing…

Mercy for your ignorance and your self-fulfilling life…

Mercy for making the right, wrong and no decisions…

Mercy for:

Everything that My guidance walked you thru that… you knew that… you know that… move forward…

25 The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said. 26 He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” 27 “Yes, it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” 28 Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.”

I am so grateful for mercy in my life.  Jesus giving mercy… Jesus for being both the advocate to argue my case and the one to walk me thru my own tears… I thank you Lord for being able to be still and watch how You moved me thru many things, many helpers,  many reminders of mercy… even if the world is not our home, Your helpers helped me walk thru this earth,  they still do… things fell into place in a way that helped me share the grace You shared with me…

Mostly I saw that when even I was the bottleneck to your will, Your decision was forced upon me and You took over the timing, I saw that windows that opened for me were lit by Your light guiding my next steps – windows require a lift to be lifted thru – open the window of my future and let the spirit sweep me forward…

The washing away of worry…

Lord, I know that earthly things are not heavenly, but I thank you for the peace of mind of gifted stability on earth. I do have children to raise, college students soon Lord… time to pray is also for visualizing the good things…. reflection of future thankfulness before you even get there…

Oh Lord, the devil – how do we defeat the devil? We don’t, You do. Our job is importantly to NOT let him get a foothold into the cracks of our lives.

If I think of the Devil as the toilet paper stuck to Jesus’s foot when He walks into my heart,  then l thank You Lord for pulling me thru the trials that washed that Devil away – I will need this forever  I know it is only by Jesus holding my hand as He pulls me out of the water when I sank when I lost focus – I will sink again, as I am human… I will continue to look for and see the light when I remind that devil (by reminding myself) that Jesus defeated him and that we are not going to let darkness invade… “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.” John 1:5

Forever we are not cheated from eternal life… remember the devil is real, conniving, and slips into the cracks when we give him the opportunity… but because the devil is nothing compared to Your power Lord, we can see Your triumph… we still have to walk thru the mud… dilute the devil by pouring in more and more living water…

13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

When have I seen the devil? When I let a crack in my humanness wide open with no armor of God… did God make some temptations easy to see were bearable? Oh yeah – just one example here – the guy in the other car hitting on me while we were driving 70mph on the highway, 5 times approaching me, motioning,  like who does that? The devil’s influence into the world.  Was it my thoughts just prior? Yes likely I also let the devil in and he took an opportunity…. And yet what he tried was so silly,  dangerous,  obvious… Who makes it obvious that that is the devil trying a foolish thing? I mean on a highway??? Anywhere? God does.  God reduces the devil, remember that…

To wrap up this writing – My most important observation of God is DON’T PIGEON HOLE HIM!

DON’T doubt His supremacy nor His amazing ways.

DON’T let anyone change your mind about God. God is the only One allowed to change it. Let God change your mind and you will see your future, one lighted step at a time. Don’t rush but if you fall off the path, let Jesus take hold and pull you back on. Hold on to His hand!

DON’T let anyone or anything make you feel that God doesn’t have control.

Don’t doubt that God has already made the plan for the future. Don’t doubt that God reveals His plans all the time.

Don’t forget that if God can make the world, then He can surely make your day.

Don’t worry, just pray.

Listen Live Learn Love

Let go… Let God…

There is more to this processing – because processing is a process – how could it not be.

Process that God has made the plan and you will be able to process the warmth of His love…

Don’t worry about processing God as much as letting Him process you… and let Him help you find your savior to get you Home.

God will see you thru

I believe in You

God l, I Love You


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