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Beautiful Story from one of our Women’s Retreat Cousins-in-Christ, 23SEPT

So I asked a women’s retreat friend (and she said it was ok) to share her email of a wonderful testimony about God taking care of her after she got lost (and while she didn’t have her guide dog in his harness)…

God was taking care of her using the positions of rocks and trees, so that she could find her way home…  Praising those rocks that call out!

I love her love of God and her love of all of us… it’s so blessed to walk with sisters and brothers in Christ – I would say all of us “Cousins in Christ”!

————–

On Sep 20, 11:57 PM, “L” wrote:

Hi Debbie,
When Pastor asked in church today if anyone had a praise offering, it was silent. Then a few people spoke up. I was thinking about saying I was thankful for being at church since I haven’t been there in awhile and also wanted to thank God for rocks and trees and of course, I thought to myself, people are probably going to think I’m crazy.
So Pastor’s message was about how we do not praise God enough and praise God for the simple things. He went on to say how God created nature and the things in it, to sing his praise i.e. rocks and trees especially since we who were created in his image, don’t realize how important it is to give thanks and praise.

Ok, so this is why I wanted to say praise for rocks and trees and after you hear his message, you’ll understand how it all connected for me. Friday morning after putting my son on the bus, I stupidly decided to go across the street to a very familiar corner to walk my dog without his harness on. I wasn’t feeling that great but I go there often and besides that, I had my trusty I-phone. So he and I walk across the street and then I realize we are not where I wanted to go. I felt around with my foot and was trying to get oriented by listening to the traffic but the more frustrated I got, the more disoriented I became., “Light bulb moment”, use your I-phone to call someone or use GPS. Well, my phone was not working because before the boys went to school they told me to update my phone but they neglected to tell me I need to go through setting up my phone.

I was getting upset with myself since I haven’t grasped this technology and have become so dependent on it. So I stopped and prayed asking God to send me someone or something to get me back home. I was already lost for about a half an hour and was panicking because I left my house open and Mom was going to be coming over but she always calls first to see where I’m at and of course, she wouldn’t be able to get hold of me.

So I waited a little longer for a sign but no one or nothing clued me in so I calmed myself down, prayed again and decided to walk towards the sound of traffic in hopes I would figure out which intersection I was at. I told him to go home and he started pulling the leash a little but then stopped and he seemed confused as well then I felt the sun. I started thinking about where I am when I can feel the sun when I go for my regular walks. I decided to turn around and walk the opposite direction and I started getting closer to traffic. Then, a tree branch brushes across the top of my head this branch feels like the one I always bump my head on while passing my neighbor’s house who lives across the street from me. So I keep walking and find a driveway and decide to cross the street and if I’m correct, it will take me to my driveway. Well, it didn’t. So I step up on the curb and decide to still head toward the traffic but use my foot to trail the grass line hoping for a clue. I didn’t have to walk too far before my foot bumps into a pile of rocks which I immediately recognize as the river rocks my husband placed around the sump pump pipe sticking out of our yard. I say out loud, “Thank You God!!!!” and I immediately get the message from God, God is my rock. He is there no matter what I’m going through and as long as I believe and have faith and hope, he will take care of me.
I found my way back to my house and went inside and cried tears of joy. God is awesome!

So when Pastor said about the rocks singing praises and then he mentioned the trees, it just confirmed my belief. I know you will understand what I mean. I shared this with him, others and especially L. H. today after church. L. H.  said to me so what did you learn? my response, “to always trust God and yes, he is my rock and to never leave my house without putting the steering wheel on my dog. We had a good laugh about it.

Hope to talk soon. Love you.

---

From: debbie

Oh what a beautiful testimony of trusting God… I have tears of joy… The rocks will cry out if you don’t praise HIM, and river rocks and trees and YOU and God are so awesome….

I have an idea…. Perhaps you can take some river rocks and make a pattern at each of the neighbors, three rocks at this one, five at this one…. As a double check emergency GPS – God Positioning Stones.

I am remembering VBS Kingdom Rock where we used those river rocks…

Jesus is the cornerstone as He and we are building God’s church…

Take care, and can I share this beautiful testimony with the other women’s retreat folks???? It is a great reminder to trust in the Lord and praise!

Love ya!
Debbie
—————

Hi Debbie,
Yes, I do not mind if you share my testimony.
I am a big nature lover too. I take any chance I can to be out there and experiencing it.
I love your idea of God Positioning Stones. LOL
I’m praising God for Debbie, my beautiful sister in Christ.

Love you

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email about Family Stone Cross, Sept

I appreciate how I really appreciate this stone cross now…and I wanted this photo, vain or not…  I am a combo of my irish Dad’s side plus my Czech mom’s side… and her maiden name means cross. I am blessed to physically cling to this stone cross, a rock of ages, firmly planted in the ground to represent our family tree… and of course I am blessed to emotionally cling to the cross to be a branch on Jesus’s tree of life…

I had a great few days at home… Good to see my brother, my parents were thrilled to have us both home….

268 email to others and Pastor P – with reply from Pastor P

Praying for God’s Ministry Thru You, 22SEPT

God bless you Pastor P., you are hitting the target with your blogs,  they resonate with me and because I am tapping into so many other people I can usually find where they will fit with their situations…

Yes, God always used me in HIS ways but these expanded ways are so exciting…

We are so blessed

—

On Sep 22, 7:53 AM, “Pastor P” wrote:

Thanks for sharing, Debbie!  God is going to keep using you!!  Blessings!

—

On Tue, Sep 22, at 7:36 AM, debbie wrote:

Hi my favorite local Ministry leaders,

I like this blog from Pastor P about growing ministry… I was tasked by the “rally day” little leaf hand out from the stewardship committee to pray for our church leaders…. Well yeah that’s a easy one to pray… I pray for SO many to bear fruit in their ministry to REACH…. I pray for the “abide” that Pastor P speaks of here … (and he had a previous blog about us not being the fruit-maker but about God growing the fruit and we are to bear it by just being the sturdy branch.

So I pray for your ministries (mine too) inside and outside the building: reaching the sheep out there, and reaching the people in feeling their worship and also reaching the people to want to help God as a co-laborer… bearing fruit that God places there, because we are just the branches to abide… To display what God bears thru us.

Thanks my co-laborers – thanks for your leadership and for accepting that even if you are putting the work in, it’s NOT your ministry at all to take credit for, you are purely the branch for God’s ministry THRU you.

God Bless! Luv ya!

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Three Keys to Growing Your Ministry – by Pastor P

“I was journaling with the Lord the other day and asked Him, “What are the keys to growing my ministry?” I felt like the Lord gave me three very clear and simple keys. I want to share them with you with the hope and prayer that your ministry will be expanded as you apply them yourself.

“Prayer

“The first key to seeing an expanded ministry is simply to ask God. The Bible calls us co-laborers with God. (1 Corinthians 3:9) As those working with God on kingdom assignments, we must be in good communications with the commanding officer. (2 Timothy 2:4) Prayer is not just about getting things done, but about intimacy with God, loving Him just for the sake of loving him and enjoying his presence. It is also important as a leader to raise up spiritual lieutenants who will pray for your ministry. [ Pray for this ministry! ]

“Produce Fruit

“Ministry can be defined in many ways. One biblical way to describe ministry is that it is the laboring of workers in the harvest fields. It doesn’t take being in ministry long to realize that working a ministry is a lot of work! The harvest is plentiful as Jesus put it. (Matthew 9:37) The good news is that we do not need to produce this good fruit out of striving, but out of abiding! (John 15:5) This brings us back to point number one, prayer and intimacy with God. As we spend time with God, we will hear his voice and be able to produce good fruit that feeds others’ souls.

“Partnership

“The Gospel was never meant to be a sole-proprietorship, but a partnership. Jesus set the model for ministry by working alongside other men.  Paul spoke of his partnership in the gospel frequently. (2 Corinthians 8:23) If you desire to see the kingdom of God expanded in the world, it is essential to find people you can raise up and train to do ministry.  Secondly, you need to partner with other people who have a common heartbeat, but different ministry that you can support and run alongside.

“I want to leave you with the words of our Lord that touch on all three of the above points as a final encouragement: “Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.’” (Matthew 9:35-38)”

http://mobile.dudamobile.com/site/christiangrowthnetwork?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.christiangrowthnetwork.com%2Fthree-keys-to-grow-your-ministry.html&utm_referrer=#2848

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Bonus Day at Home…., 21SEPT

So I have to question but I have to praise God’s timing, it’s always going to be a praise when you take God’s point of view in your situation.

My brother (who is my ride home) booked his flight for today but then changed it for tomorrow then promptly forgot that… the rest of my relatives are also leaving tomorrow… so early yesterday I was stressing about who do I spend more time with on my last day? out of town relatives? my parents? home with the kids….all that and yeah, I was saying to myself that it WOULD be nice to have more time here at home….

Although not seeing my kids gives me some angst, I am being the kid here in my hometown for my parents, who are thrilled both me and my brother are here…, although for sad circumstances of my cousin’s and aunt’s funerals, it was a placed family reunion to honor them…

Well… I walk in the door my brother says guess what, he messed up the flights… I just started laughing… I said really God? You answer SO quickly…. A bonus day at home?  could we make it work? Would my boss be mad? Hmmm…. Yeah, a bonus day at home was just what I wanted, and what I got…

And so I attach this praise photo… As I walked the gorge leisurely over the course of three hours with my family… Zoom in on the photo, see me praising with my arms up, I am the tiny spec on blue on  the right…. getting wet in the spray…. Wet in cold powerful pounding water as well as the living water of Jesus…. praising the rocks of God,  and the living trees of life, both nature’s leafy green ones and our Dormady family tree, filled with love…

Yeah bonus days…. Thanks God!

PS… After the hike and picnic lunch, we went to the overrlook… And ran into great friends, two of our church missionaries, just driving thru!!! Amazing “co-incidence” each of us five hours from home… God-incidence…. Praise God…

PPS… Oh geeze…. I just realized that yesterday the bonus day at home was September 21st which is (in the Czech Republic) my naming day which is kind of like a second birthday…  so cool… JOJOJO

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The Rain WILL Come Again, Go With the FLOW, 20Sept

It rained, twice…. It rained at our cousin and aunt’s double funerals/interments…. It rained twice in the bible account of God’s seasonal blessings… according to Joel 2:23 NIV “Be glad, people of Zion, rejoice in the Lord your God, for he has given you the autumn rains because he is faithful. He sends you abundant showers, both autumn and spring rains, as before.”

We were forced by the warm rain (rare all this dry summer) into a beautiful chapel at the cemetery for the services, which enabled a closeness, a comfort in the way of chairs, a comfort in the way of going with the flow…. A natural comfort that ALWAYS can be found in giving up the angst of the minute details of life and going with the FLOW. God allows us to rest and delight in his good works when we go with the flow…

We reconnected sides of the family at the services, we rekindled, we re-appreciated… We let the SPIRIT move us just as easily as we moved from chapel to grave to grave, we let God flow thru us… we had the rain, the autumn rain to replenish our souls… We laid our family love onto their departed souls, as God has laid HIS LOVE into ours….

It stopped raining, after lunch we took our out of town cousins to a cathedral of God’s creation to a beautiful natural place beyond words .. Then we flowed back to base camp… Dinner, brought all of us together again in the same room by… you guessed it… rain… Family closeness in SPIRIT always, and now new family moments facilitated by God’s rain…

Going with God’s FLOW means listening, means feeling how He can move us gently and with His PEACE, move us into our PEACE. It’s giving up our angst to God… It’s giving God HIS rightful place over our hearts and actions, because we stem from him, we drink the living water of Jesus to nourish and repair our human ways. When we drought, there is only one source of living water replenishment… It brings our salvation… It’s us resting in Jesus’s arms and going with HIS FLOW, please hold HIS hand and you will stay afloat…

The rain WILL come again, whether spring or fall… or even a Christmas Flood… Will you let God flow thru you? Will you flow?

Let go…. Go with GOD’S FLOW…

PEACE

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Funeral day.19Sept…. Remembering Cousins and Connections, Blood and Blood, 17MAR

So today is funeral day for my cousin Mike, and my Aunt (his Mom’s cremated ashes from many years before) … It’s 6AM and already an emotional day… Some of my cousins have gathered here in my home town, we stayed up last night gazing at the milky way, we are way out of town at a camp, it’s so dark here, and the last bit of the night I talked one on one with one of my wonderful cousins about my spiritual growth and everything… At the end of my yapping, and she sharing her faith too, I saw an amazing shooting star… Good God, God is good…

My 23 first cousins and our spouses are the best and I am the youngest of those 23.. I have so much crazy love from them, stemming from my five uncles and five aunts and my parents… We support each other immensely because that’s how we were taught to live, we were taught to LOVE… I learned a new word from my brother… Avuncular…Kind and friendly towards a younger or less experienced person: reassuring, and trustworthy…. Yes, that’s EXACTLY the word for what I feel, what I have experienced from SO many…

Cousins… My cousin Mike’s passing evoked one of the biggest emotional pieces for me to that date, on St Patrick’s Day… If I call you a cousin it is because you are… If you know me, you know I can skip all the formalities and just “luv ya”.. I just do, it’s a completely Agape LOVE of cousins in Christ…..

Thank you for letting me exude the love that I can’t help but exude, I have way more than my share and am humbled to be God’s instrument to share it….

Here’s that emotional piece… Thank you… LUV YA!!!!

—

Recap #97 I love this piece !!!!!!!

Cousins and Connections, Blood and Blood, 17MAR

> Yesterday I felt so glad to get some “unfinished” writings out… Because I told myself that I was now going to fill my mind with things that I (with a capital I) wanted to fill it with….that I asked God to empty my mind – and yes He did… and I did get about 3 hours of real work work done in the morning. > > … and then God filled my brain, unexpectedly, in the afternoon with the thoughts HE wanted me to have – and HE filled my mind with actions and connections and LOVE. Not my mind anymore is it? – it’s HIS…. sigh… a new normal i will try to remember this always…I am God’s instrument…tune him in not out… God…sigh…. > > So my beloved cousin Mike died on Saturday, he was mid 50’s… i learned via Facebook (of all places), someone posted on his wall RIP. i said “wait what??”, I messaged that person and was trying to balance my fear with my disbelief – turns out Mike dropped dead instantly in a bank from a nearly 100% blockage from heart disease – with complications from diabetes and not taking care of himself – which very few of us do…. Heart disease and diabetes and stroke are our Irish destinies – our whole family struggles… > > My flood of emotions – sorrow and questions – we hadn’t talked in years – couldn’t get a hold of him – but we loved each other – all my cousins – we love each other even if we don’t connect… we are connected by Grace and by our family tree. > > Well, God filled me with sorrow first but then with so much action. He chose ME to start spreading the news – I have the connections to the whole family – I had to get the word out, as my mother’s generation would have – it is now my generation’s job… I spent the whole afternoon and into the evening on the phone, only to look up at 7:30, when the people locking up work said “it’s time to go”… I spent the whole afternoon on the phone and email and texting with my cousins – there are 23 of us third generation Irish. My cousin Mike was an only child – the first one to pass of our first cousin generation. We stem from 6 brothers and their amazing 6 wives (my father being the youngest) – the number of children are 23 AND then of course the marriages and children and grandchildren of our cousins – we have exploded across the US and are spreading family love and spiritness everywhere. Yes, we are a family of Leprechauns if there ever was!!!. So God filled my mind with memories and the love of my cousins – the best family gift ever! > > If people ask where i draw my strength – that is an easy easy answer – i draw it from my family – and there is an overflow of strength… > > Oh, I just made the biggest epiphany about my church family…not lightbulb in your in your brain epiphany but fireworks going off epiphany… > > My church family, I love them so much in the agape way… but I just realized they are not my brothers and sisters in Christ they are my cousins in Christ!!!! Agape love is so reflected in the love of cousins. Just because I don’t know them all yet, and they come from different backgrounds (and I want to know them all more), doesn’t mean I don’t already love them. Our ancestors would tell us to love them even if we don’t know then. > > Cousins. Some are distant and some are close. Some are lost. Some are found. Some are blind. Some can see. > > Some of our cousins need to have a God connection made… maybe we are their connection… maybe they’ll find their own connection. Maybe we just need to remind them and us that we are all connected. > > My mother’s family cousins in Europe… I am so longing to see them… I will see them next week. I will embrace them. I was the one that made the connection between the Old World and the New World. God gave me the gifts to make this connection. And, I so feel like the connection of my father’s Irish cousins to our recent ancestral homeland. > > God gave me a ministry of connection. A ministry of encouragement someone said… of friendliness…but, NO it is a MINISTRY OF CONNECTIONS. I will make the connections. I will write about connections. I will connect to my words and thoughts and I will connect my people to their God and all that is good. > > Blood relative cousins ….Blood Christ cousins… > > Life is good. > God is good. > God, thanks for my cousins. All of them. > God, thanks for connecting me to you. > I believe in connections. > AMEN!

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The Thoughtfulness of a 4AM God, 15Sept

If you know me, you know I have a good imagination, am silly to a fault, and I love life… But what touches me more and more is the thoughtfulness of God… At every hour of the day… I don’t understand it, I don’t know why I am blessed so much… I feel that the signs God throws my way are truly gifts from HIM… I question and HE answers… I am not making this up, I don’t have as good an imagination as God does… I just don’t…

I know I have to focus on God… I have to stay in HIS plan… He will call me, and I will follow.

Tonight I woke up, not to write, I’m just up… thinking about the day… today my doctor diagnosed some arm numbness issues (I will be fine) – and I was also worried about my shoulders and neck too, but he said my shoulders were strong and then this serious smart doctor made this funny face and arm curl and told me in a great voice that my shoulders were “strong like a bull” – nice, nice affirmation…

4AM….The Pleiades, ah yes, there is Orion the hunter, usually viewed on a winter night. But if you’re up at 4 in the morning you can see it bright in the southern sky. I made a mistake thinking the Pleiades star cluster was in Orion for years but it turns out the Pleiades are in Taurus, being hunted by Orion… I told myself next time I was up at 4 in the morning I would certainly try to find the Pleiades stars, which God uses as a true connection to so much in my life (especially including the Subaru)… I searched the sky maps for the right direction to look… They say look for the stars in the left shoulder of Taurus, the bull… The Bull… Bull… the Bull Shoulder!???!
REALLY GOD?
That doctor told me that my left shoulder is as strong as a bull today, and tonight You show me that’s where the Pleiades are? Bull… I stopped dead in my tracks… Really God???

Bull… You are THAT thoughtful God? Or am I just fooling myself? Maybe I don’t want to know… God You know I am enjoying this, I am enjoying our time together… Maybe just maybe You will let me know only as much as You need to… But please let me praise You God for Your thoughtfulness… You make me smile… You give me pause… You give me a chance to praise 4am wake ups, You give me life and You fill it with Your beautiful imagination… How blessed am I to see Your thoughtfulness…how blessed I am to revere You God.

Job 9: 5-10 “He moves mountains without their knowing it and overturns them in his anger.
He shakes the earth from its place and makes its pillars tremble.
He speaks to the sun and it does not shine; he seals off the light of the stars.
He alone stretches out the heavens and treads on the waves of the sea.
He is the Maker of the Bear and Orion, the Pleiades and the constellations of the south.
He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.

Amos 5:
8 He who made the Pleiades and Orion,
who turns midnight into dawn
and darkens day into night,
who calls for the waters of the sea
and pours them out over the face of the land—
the Lord is his name.
……
14 Seek good, not evil,
that you may live.
Then the Lord God Almighty will be with you, just as you say he is.
15 Hate evil, love good;”

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This is why I write, I have to process… I can’t believe my eyes, my ears, my life SO filled with the thoughtfulness of God… Well I can now, because really God is that just that thoughtful… to everyone… Just listen, just look, just pause to praise….
“Hate evil, love good”…
Love God

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And then….one more shoulder surprise reference this morning…  I opened this little devotion calendar a dear old departed friend gave me years ago, it lives in my car, I looked ahead to next week, Sept 21 is my Czech Republic “Naming Day” as big a celebration there as one’s birthday… And it reads:
“There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved. It is the finger of God on a person’s shoulder.”

Such a nice whisper of God’s love….

LOL, I add this earlier blog piece from Rick Lawrence about being Jesus being “a bull in a China shop”  – like Jesus with my burst of awakening……. Matches my piece about the doctor telling me my shoulders were “as strong as a bull” and the Pleiades in the shoulder of Taurus the bull… Nice…

LOL

God is good!

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LOL, just the other day I called myself  “A bull in a China shop”…. The rapid awareness of full Christianity, 0-60 in seconds flat…

So I laughed (out loud) when I saw this quote this morning:
“Jesus is the original “bull in a china shop.” Is Jesus nice? Yes, of course, but when He is, He’s scandalously nice. He’s nice to all the wrong people, and He’s offensive to all the wrong people.”  — Rick Lawrence

“Is Jesus nice? Yes, of course…. ”
Yup, He loves being the bull, I can hear the crashes 2000 years later…. Loud and clear! Nice!

263

Love it when random bible verses (these from flipping thru an actual paper not an electronic bible) bring my thoughts together…

I praise pausing for thought…. it’s forgiveness that gives you peace…. And it’s forgiveness that God gives us, we have to reciprocate, and forgive others… here’s my devotion/pondering…

Forgiving the Wrong Road, 14Sept

I used to know someone who would start complaining (not unusual) but then I noticed that she was trying to pull you down that road too (I don’t know if it was on purpose, but I think it was)… She would start complaining about specific people, get your opinions, and then go blab what you complained about to others to make herself look better… Yeah that’s bad… Yeah that’s both causing sin in you as well as sinning oneself…. And I think you could imagine other sinful instances where others may have pulled folks or you down the wrong road, or even yourself did this too… And maybe not even on purpose to harm, but just to have someone along for the ride….

Praise God when you see those times coming, praise if you can see them a mile away, praise if you can come to a full stop then just don’t go down that road… That is the gift of discernment…

My random bible perusing came across Mark 9:42-43 “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea. If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed….”
So, your hands, feet, eyes  – all these better for you to maim to prevent yourself from sinning against others…   “Have salt among yourselves…. and be at peace with each other…..” Yeah, use discernment of your words and actions like how salt is used for a fire….

And yet suffering is part of our lot in life, so we can’t avoid getting hurt… And suffering helps us to appreciate the comfort thru Christ: 2nd Corinthians 5 “For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ“…. And Psalm 146 says “Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save.”

FORGIVENESS
I have my own trespassers, whom I have to forgive… I always think about that road rage guy who cut me off and punched at my face in my closed car window (yay strong Subaru)… I forgave him on the spot because I was not hurt and because I saw old pain in his face, I told myself I was fine and because of that I forgave him, and I was able to move on with my life… And I now I try to apply this forgiveness (after some processing) for MY peace of mind… Yes, forgiveness for PEACE….

Perhaps you have had a trespassor who didn’t even know that what they were doing was wrong in the eyes of God, maybe actually thought they were helping… disregarding that they may have chanced you and themselves a walk down the wrong road… And because of that, your angst was 100-fold theirs because you were on the grieving receiving end of that trespass…

And thus it’s a tough spot…. stress at keeping true to Mark 11:22, 25, which says FORGIVENESS is the key to your forgiveness from God (and I will add is key to your PEACE of mind)…   “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. – “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Forgiveness leads to PEACE… If you still have trouble with that forgiveness of any situation, try to figure out what you were supposed to learn from it and then give that angst to God… That will get you closer to PEACE… God will correct that wrong (in HIS timing not yours). So, LIFT up your hands to grab HIS to pull you out of your anger and tears, and let your heart be lifted…. I did and it works…. Blessed are those… Blessed are us… whose “hope is in the Lord our God”…

Pray to always walk down the right road, walk to the light, and pray for discernment always…

LOVE is the greatest commandment…

LOVE demands FORGIVENESS….

FORGIVENESS is a gift from GOD

GOD is LOVE

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Scriptures:
Psalm 146 NIV
1 Praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord, my soul.
2 I will praise the Lord all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
3 Do not put your trust in princes,
in human beings, who cannot save.
4 When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
on that very day their plans come to nothing.
5 Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord their God.
6 He is the Maker of heaven and earth,
the sea, and everything in them—
he remains faithful forever.
7 He upholds the cause of the oppressed
and gives food to the hungry.
The Lord sets prisoners free,
8     the Lord gives sight to the blind,
the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down,  the Lord loves the righteous.
9 The Lord watches over the foreigner
and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.
10 The Lord reigns forever,
your God, O Zion, for all generations.
Praise the Lord.

————
Mark 12:29-34
“Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

“Well said, teacher,” the man replied. “You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.”

When Jesus saw that he had answered wisely, he said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.”

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1Corinthians 1:3-11
Praise to the God of All Comfort
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters,[a] about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

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“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)

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Soul on FIRE – Still, 12Sept

So many duplications of God reminding me HE is in charge this week… Just yesterday I had double scriptures in Ephesians 3 then 4; then I was singing about ‘Better one day in God’s courts, than thousand elsewhere’ at the same time I drove by ‘Ivy court’ Road… Yeah, at the same time as the song.

Last night, I was thinking about something that a friend cautioned me against months ago… warned me, in genuine concern, about me burning out from activity after having such an explosive awakening…

I said then, and still I say now, I could never burn out on God, maybe I will run out of time for everything I want to do (and be a bit weary at times), but my soul right now is still a “Soul on Fire”, like the song, and I pray it always will be, and I have faith that God won’t let me forget that….

And this soul-on-fire thought, in my constant conversation with God, was what was running thru my head while I was walking out of the Subaru and into the grocery store last night. Exactly at that thought of “FIRE” I walked right on top of the word “FIRE” on the ground…. “FIRE”… I smiled, said ‘REALLY God?’… I had to turn around to look again, I took a photo and smiled… THANKS GOD….. Thanks God for FIRE, for kindling and re-kindling my fire for YOU every day…. Praise God, you have me swept away in your love already and yet you remind me EVERYDAY to praise, every day to know your joy.

Oh how blessed am I to realize that!! … I know God, that YOU are ever-faithful to everyone, I’m so grateful that YOU take care of us all.

Thanks Lord for the FIRE, again.

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9-11- Lost Then Found in the Garden, 10SEP

Tomorrow is Friday Sept 11th – I am enclosing a photo of mangled steel from the twin towers in a reflection garden, those which i held on Feb 1st – the first day I knew I was 100% with Jesus…

It was after a swirling blessed church morning and blessed lunch with church family, that I got LOST driving to my friend’s house and then I FOUND I had driven to the 9-11 reflection garden, having never visited there before… Holding those pillars I knew God was totally in control of my life – and knew it was Him who took me there… He drove me to realize my salvation – drove me NOT out of distress and crisis but drove me at a time in my life when I had peace and love.  Feb 1st, I was able to finally say “Yes, I am sure. Yes, I 100% believe that Jesus was real, is real, is the son of God” 😉  

I will always remember standing there – in the crisp winter air – it was as peaceful a moment as you could ever have standing in a sea of sad memories, feeling angst for those 3000 people…  Forever ago it seems, but 14 years ago on Sept 11, 2001 I was holding my brand new 6-week old preemie baby (whose original due date was the day before Sept 10th) – I was holding my baby trying to make sense of it all – not knowing what to do while watching the towers burn – seeing the second crash – but knowing I had to keep moving for the sake of this little miracle who was still demanding 100% of my focus… she was crying for my attention – I had to keep moving…

Feb 1st – God was moving me and I let HIM – I was holding those twisted rusty pillars – praying – picked up a coin from the pile with John 3:16 written on it (it was also Superbowl Sunday) and I smiled to myself that YES I actually believed it… I really did believe that God gave His ONLY Son for our salvation – I really did believe it 100%.

I get so choked up thinking about that day in the 9-11 garden – I will remember my prayer wishing that all who died made it to the realization of salvation in Jesus in the nick of time ….even the perpetrators… I prayed that they ALL found peace and salvation…

I got lost into that garden because I was getting found…That moment in time was a culmination of a head spinning awakening, but I was still standing… I was stilled in praise… and I was ready to walk… Walk with the Lord the rest of my days… in SPIRIT and in TRUTH… 

Thanks God, once again for walking me/driving me/guiding me into the right Holy Spirit-led people who got Jesus awake in me – then got me into Jesus’s arms in order to get WHOLE with You Lord.  God, thank you always for the garden – and for letting me find this path with Your gentle whispering Holy Spirit’s guidance. Thanks Jesus for holding my hand, my heart and my soul as you keep me moving – eternally blessed – ever walking with You to the eternal garden…  

Amen

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Email with my Professor about Go and Tell- turning the world right side up,  09SEP

Awesome, yes thanks,  I like how you said “right side up”, as I was thinking both in my “perfection” writing yesterday about turning the pieces(people) right side up for God to grab, and as also way back I my penny piece, about flipping (or kicking) pennies and sometimes people right side up so that that could reach a hands up… you duplicated that with your email about Jesus wanting to turn the world  “right side up”… God wants to bring us back to whole with Him – to not lose anyone – to make the world realize that only thru Jesus will they get back to eternal life…

On Sep 7, 9:07 PM, Professor wrote:

Not only that, but if you read the synoptic gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke) carefully, he actually tells people (and demons occasionally) NOT to tell everyone about healings and exorcisms he does. It’s like he doesn’t want to blow his cover or something.

All that changes however AFTER the cross- after the resurrection, when he tells his followers, GO, and TELL. Go invite, go make disciples. Now that the work had been accomplished, he sends them to turn the world upside-down. Or, rather, right-side up again, since the world was so broken and he had come to heal it and make all things new.

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Settling Your Heart into Jesus’s Hands, 07Sept

I have experienced Jesus awakening me, grabbing my hand to wake me.

I have also experienced Jesus raising my whole body from when I lost focus like Peter and started sinking into the water… Jesus not JUST grabbing my hand, but truly by picking me up BY MY HEART, by scooping HIS hands under it… Lifting me up with LOVE.

I was in the water by choice, so Jesus let the water rinse my heart and then when I rose my hand in surrender, Jesus picked it and me up to drain from being waterlogged and heavy. The water poured in and out, with a cleansing rinse…

I need ALWAYS to be the one to let go completely and release my heart into HIS hands, let it sink low into protective custody… To hide my heart in Christ (following poet Maya Angelou’s advice).

Yes, the trapped air pockets are what Jesus and I are now working on… The big bubbles and the little ones… all these will have to be bubbled out, sometimes painfully… But out they must go, one bubble at a time until there are none left preventing completeness.

Here is my devotion:

Rest your heart, you’ve traveled so far, it’s ok to be weary… Rest your tired soul, settle in…

Jesus came to raise us up to God’s eternal home. To hold us up so we could hone in on the focus we need to make it thru life. Jesus came not to judge the world, but to save it (John 3:17).

Let your heart nestle down into Jesus’s hands… Wholly and solidly you surrender your body into HIS supporting arms, let your body sigh and let your soul rest down into love. Let your heart nestle in, surrender into the protective shield, wear Jesus on your heart as your armor of God. Feel your whole heart in contact with his gentle yet strong hands.

We need to make it thru life, but we will find salvation wearing the bloodshed from Christ, and only then we find ourselves living the life of the good news, in life everlasting.

Please Lord, when we are sinking, let the cleansing living water of Jesus rinse thru our hearts.  Please Lord, pick us up to drain us from our waterlogged and heavy lives. Please Lord, scoop us up, lifting our hearts with Your hands. Lifting us into salvation…

Lifting us with LOVE.

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Perfection, 07Sept

Ok, so you’ve accepted Jesus, accepted you were loved enough by GOD to be saved thru the bloodshed of Jesus, and yes, you have even been treasured so much that you still have to question: “This was all for us? For me???”

Ok, now what??

Yeah, you aren’t on your death bed, YOU actually pray that you have energy to live out God’s plan picked for you….

Perhaps you feel that you need to accept God’s command to go make disciples?…
Yet perhaps you feel more work needs to be done to clean out every corner of your heart first?…
Perhaps God says DON’T wait….

Yes, God says sing your praises and share His Grace and HE will see you thru each storm as you arrive at it… But God ALSO asks you to work the soil in the lives of the people around you, as well as within your own life….at the same time…

God wants wholeness from society, not piecemeal pockets of salvation…. He wants perfection and HIS game is no game at all, He wants a time where we ALL accept our salvation at His appointed time.

Perfection, one of my favorite games growing up… Fit all the pieces in the spring-loaded puzzle board before that timer is up and POP!… The whole board pops out throwing all the pieces everywhere… Finish the board and the timer is stopped… Perfection for eternity…

Each piece must be fit individually into the unique spaces. Each piece is different from all the rest, some are tricky, they all must be studied (or shape memorized) for uniqueness… and they ALL must get into the board before time is up…

Each SOUL must fit individually into HIS plan. Each soul is different from all the rest, some are tricky, they all must be studied (or shape memorized) for uniqueness… and they ALL must get into the space marked by God’s plan before time is up…

And whenever that is, when time is up, are you going to have your skull and soul “safe” nestled into a space? Done and just pray the board will get finished before time is up? Or perhaps you might consider to be out ON the board, finding space for all the other pieces? Since you know your space is marked out, saved for you, and you know how to hop into it at the last minute… Well perhaps it would behoove you to work on the other pieces, to help God… Especially since time could be short or time could be long…  Be busy and help God work on their souls by sharing your unique tool set to support them. Help set as many of these pieces of God’s plan upright so it’s easier for all of us to prepare for eternity… It is God who will grab them to fit them all in before time is up… Before we all pray…

Shareholders, we are ALL shareholders in HIS plan, we all have a stake… We can work for the company or wait gathering dust while we slowly turn into dust. We can find use for our lives by being out there, working to increase the return on the investment of God’s capital… We can’t finish the job unless we are working in the job…

Who wants to help God?
I DO…
DO YOU?

It’s the plan for us ALL to be in God’s plan.
I want to work the plan…
DO YOU?

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from an email discussion with my professor

Trickle Effect, 05SEP

It interests me how Jesus truly didn’t want to be considered a sideshow attraction… He wanted people to dig deep within themselves, He wanted individual conversions…. And obviously He had a few miracles that also worked to convince folks, but He was likely simply showing mercy – simply kindness to deserving believers who were in bad straights…. He could have done grandeur-flamboyant miracles, but He didn’t…

This calls into question our avenues of teaching and trying to spread the Gospel to the masses, what is the best way to reach people? God could have waited and sent Jesus now, in our day and age, when mass media would have spread (or squashed) His message like wildfire…

But God choose a trickle effect…

Some mega churches try a big scale approach… Kinda like the debate people had with free education when it started, questioning if it is better to water down education for all to understand?, or keep education at high level for a few?… I think with faith, God wants the trickle effect – Yes, even at mega churches there is the trickle effect – it might be the person sitting next to you, with whom you can discuss the message’s meaning, where conversations about Jesus occur… It’s the way of the personal trickle down/bleed over effect – where God becomes REAL to you…

Hmmmm…. I wonder where God will take all these pockets of faith next….. Hmmm…. God sure is interesting in His approach….

The trickle effect is watching and seeing the Holy Spirit in action…

God wants us to come one by one – on our own realization that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life!

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Oooh!!!! GOD duplicated this verse for me – about healing the mute man from the book of Mark today at church here in our getaway city…. Crazy!!!!   God loves that crazy duplication….. Fun

Jesus Heals a Deaf and Mute Man
31 Then Jesus left the vicinity of Tyre and went through Sidon, down to the Sea of Galilee and into the region of the Decapolis. 32 There some people brought to him a man who was deaf and could hardly talk, and they begged Jesus to place his hand on him.

33 After he took him aside, away from the crowd, Jesus put his fingers into the man’s ears. Then he spit and touched the man’s tongue. 34 He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, “Ephphatha!” (which means “Be opened!”). 35 At this, the man’s ears were opened, his tongue was loosened and he began to speak plainly.

36 Jesus commanded them not to tell anyone. But the more he did so, the more they kept talking about it. 37 People were overwhelmed with amazement. “He has done everything well,” they said. “He even makes the deaf hear and the mute speak.”

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Oh!!! This trickle effect is not just believing but also doing (which we knew)… Verse 12… I always thought it was “you will see greater things;, but actually it’s “you will DO greater things”

John 14 (NIV)

Jesus Comforts His Disciples
14 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.”

Jesus the Way to the Father
5 Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”

6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

8 Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”

9 Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. 11 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. 12 Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
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And later in the scripture I love how we think of us going to the father, but Jesus says how they will come and make their home with us….
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23 Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. 24 Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

25 “All this I have spoken while still with you. 26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

 

256

Staying Humble, Staying Hopeful…. 05Sep

Cleaning my purse…. Love this little book buried in it, today I read about Paul in it…
Paul, as amazing as his momentous transformation, remembers he always will be human, as wonderful a writer, preacher, leader he always remembers he is human, especially with that thorn in his side… And he uses a eraser…. it’s good to stay humble….
Just like the reminder from this bracelet I still wear (a Christmas in July gift at VBS Everest from my pastor) the white bead (with SNOW from Mount Everest in it) means when you are at your highest highs, remember to stay humble! I slide that white bead up and try to remember that … I try but fail at that often 😉  thanks folks – thanks Lord – for tolerating my follies…

And (gratefully only a few times) I have held onto that black bead (containing mud from the dead sea) to remember that when you are at your lowest to remember to stay hopeful! Thanks all, especially over these past couple weeks, for all your support!!!

Grateful always for the Jesus hand-ups, God heart-guarding, as well as those humbling thorns….

255

Found this in my drafts…. Probably a bit rambling, or full circle, depends on how you look at it 😉

my thoughts were  thinking about those who do not value themselves enough, that if they focus to do HIS work that they might find purpose… And also about finding others find their purpose and not neglect them… or discard them as worthless…

And sadly there are those folks going too far in the other way… Deluding themselves into thinking they are helping for God but absorbing the praise meant for GOD along the way… hmmm….

Whole God, 28 Aug
Believe in one’s self…. believe in one’s self worth… God sent Jesus to save the world, not condemn it (John 3:17)…. So shouldn’t we do the same thing? We are made of God because God is the ALL in ALL, everything, dust to dust…. we should not condemn the world but find our place in it.

John 6:29 NIV
________________________________

Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.”

So we are to believe in Jesus because God sent a servant savior, to save us, because our WHOLE GOD didn’t want to lose any of us, we are pieces in HIS puzzle, we are ALL worth saving, we are ALL worth the effort…

So we are to believe in ourselves too…

Jesus was sent because HE was the living example of God, this is how you are meant to live, love, forgive, reach…. You don’t have to forget or shy away from pain, try to embrace that you have the strength to face life because that strength is from God… God gave you a direction to work forward towards: Jesus. You are made from God, you are made to go to God… You were dust and will return to dust. It’s all connected…. We are all connected… We ALL matter to God, therefore we should all matter to each other too… and although we should 100% love ourselves and take care of ourselves – it’s not always about us!…  it’s about WE… It’s about GOD…

Growth, God wants us to grow – God wants to use us as a resource – if you think of a plant where the leaves, shoots, roots all have roles then it makes sense that we are all in this together – that certain people have certain roles, certain gifts, and we all work together – to survive – the goal of a plant (of all organisms) is to survive and to prosper just enough to have offspring – to pass on their genetic material for the good of the whole community – to enrich the gene-pool – to help the community thrive in the diversity – that is a God-sanctioned event – God wants us to survive and prosper and feed back to the WHOLE community – to the WHOLE God – we are not to be islands of our own…  Have you have been in a situation and said – “wow i was here at the right time and the right place?” – realized because YOU were used as a saving grace for someone else? Yeah, you have been there – I have been there – you were there because God wanted you there (not that you had a choice anyway)…

Sure this is work!  It’s work to navigate life on the go and not take a few detours… Yes, it takes needed retreats at times to recover and refocus on how to move forward – retreating is a chance to reflect on your role in society in life – it’s a recovery to reenter, to re-engage to re-invigorate to re-vine for the will of God.

Aristotle said “the whole is mightier than the sum of its parts” – so that’s God in a nutshell – God is the synergy of everything WHOLE – and the WHOLE thing is GOD – He sees the parts and he puts them together – but they are supposed to work as a WHOLE – and unless we connect ourselves and live our lives to connect us all, then we are not holding up our end of the bargain.  If God makes US whole – then why should we not do the same for God – help to make HIM WHOLE?  Yes, believe in yourself and your role in life – make a difference – because God has a plan and he is working His plan – so why not make it easier on God and make your life purpose to work for HIM – (or at least stop working against Him)…

Believe in yourself and your role.  You are here on this planet for the SYNERGY – the summation of the parts – you are here for a WHOLE GOD ….

254

Back in the Boat, 02SEP

This amazing thing happened to me yesterday after stressing about a really bad situation on and off for a couple of weeks… I was stressing awful… Yikes my stress thru the roof that instant!!!! But WOW how Jesus calmed it… I won’t tell you what those stressors were, but this was my text to a few folks immediately after my heart was released from that pain….. The stressors didn’t completely go away, but giving it to God made all the difference…

“Wow, I was just feeling so stressed this morning and it caused a real physical heart heaviness feeling, but it’s now GONE due to a refocus on Jesus…  stress pen chewing, gum, and ate my lunch early, no help, stressing my heart SO heavy… And so a friend came into my office, she is a good Christian friend and I was able to explain to her this tremendous stress feeling (and what caused it)… And then I explained that often when I was feeling under a storm I would ask Jesus to come back into my boat… when I (and Peter) reached a hand up out of the water while sinking, that it was what we need to do to re-focus….  while telling her this, I actually motioned reaching up for Jesus with my hand and grabbing HIS… And I am not kidding, my heart felt such relief!!!!! It was amazing, instant relief, the heaviness gone!!!!! WOW!!!!! Good God!!!!  Thank you Jesus for this peace!!! “

I told another friend about this amazing release feeling and she said “Welcome back into the boat!”

PEACE

 

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I am the Mustard of Life, 30Aug

Mustard, it saved me yesterday. Awesome to get to the amusement park with my son for his birthday, a friend gave us free day passes, we gave up season passes this year because my kids are old for this tiny kid park, but it’s always fun for us big kids too.

Spinning rides, I can’t do them anymore, a bell went off when I hit a certain age, and my system just can’t…. He wanted to ride all the new rides, he directed the day, he was in charge of where we went in the park, he beamed with pride… He is a good soul and so thoughtful, but needed me and wanted me by his side on those spinning rides, how could I disappoint… I did ok, but not good…. Fun yes but spinning… Pray Jesus to come into the spinning teacup like that boat on the Galilee, nope Jesus was already there, spinning too… My head kept spinning, the ride was done, still spinning… How could I let this ruin the fun day planned? That stressed me out… How could I recover…

Mustard… Mustard saved me (that and sitting still for five minutes)… I could finally stand and walk again… my son wanted popcorn and me too, I wanted food, but I had left my packed healthy lunch in the car… I was hungry, stress hungry, not real hunger… Mustard…. Free packets at the end of the counter, free in this charge you “an arm and a leg” for just popcorn kinda place. My head and stomach said food as your addiction of choice for stress relief, but my eyes are open now and I KNEW this was all stress, I had breakfast and in the past I have fasted with no problem on many days, this was STRESS…. Spinning stress… Jesus holding but not fixing what I desired as a quick fix… Mustard, I have used this awesome spice when I started changing my eating habits, I crave salty, spicy, and wow flavors… mustard, horseradish, vinegar, shock your system kinda spice…. Snap, the second the mustard hit my mouth I was cured…WOW… My brain and body snapped back to the scene of a happy day… A peaceful oasis of me returned within thousands of screaming kids, scrambling grandparents… and parents getting the most bang out of their buck, being big kids…. that’s the fun in this park, we are free to be little and rambunctious again….
Mustard, mmm…. It zapped me like one of those automatic defibrillators… I could continue, onto the water rides, day saved… Son happy…

Jesus, I should not have expected you to fix my spinning stress, I inflicted it myself and I certainly didn’t detach from you… I was balancing life this day (actually every day)…. The body has limits you know, but our free will doesn’t… and free will puts us at dangerous spots… Inflicting both injury and inappropriate quick fixes if our boundary lines are left in the dust and we go too far… Confuses our focus, spins our heads…

Can we control our free will? We have to! Test it sure, I got thru the rides, happy boy to have mom by his side… But sanity prevailed and limited the actions that would have thrown me over the edge… Mustard snapped me back, I focused on moving forward… I shouldn’t have had to use it, but it substituted with a spicy kick… It’s not a bad thing, and I was grateful, it’s just mustard… it’s good to find safe ways to get yourself into gear… better to find safe ones than risky ones… And I mean this for not just amusement rides, I mean this for big people problems… If you put yourself at risk, you may not see the best way back to the path…

Thus the connection of mustard to Jesus… Snapping back into reality, into the feeling of peace, or at the minimum finding the will to move forward, to move on…. All these are necessary when you stray… All these are things to reposition your mind, and to focus on the necessary… Jesus could be the spicy mustard you need, “I am the mustard of life”…. Jesus could shine a light into your stress or even your shame or even your vain… whether minute or major; He could be there for you because actually HE never left… He carries you, heavy burdens and all, perhaps if you shed some of those burdens the trek will be easier… Perhaps you will even go so far as to find internal joy, true joy…

Spinning heads or not, Jesus is along for the ride. If you are happy, HE is there; if you are sad, HE is there. If you are in the pits, HE has an amazing light source to shine you out… He didn’t judge, he doesn’t judge, but he wants YOU along for HIS ride… So DON’T give up on HIM, HE isn’t giving up on YOU, EVER!

252 Cling, Aug

I know they say Subaru love is a cult, I think it’s a way of life…. But, it’s God’s car to me, my true tabernacle that drove me directly into Jesus’s loving arms, so I love it, and I show it… The car, the moon, the stars, and this weight loss (20lbs since May, 42lbs total) – they all make me LOVE and appreciate God’s good works in me and around me even more…. So I don’t know if I am too vain, too boastful, or just too EXCITED about God… I wonder this, I also wonder if I spend too much time thinking about God… I don’t know about a lot of things… I still pray for discernment… Constantly… It’s just where I am right now…who knows where I will be in the future… NO WAY would I have believed I would be at this state nearly eight months ago!

But YES, sure, I cling to my Subaru and to Christmas and Easter and to music therapy (both regular and praise band music), and to the hundreds of people who bless me and witness Jesus to me… I cling so that I DON’T get off this “Christmas merry go round”… I cling because I really DON’T want to lose this blessed cloud nine feeling… I really don’t think I will, and HIS guiding hand wouldn’t let me so how dare I doubt HIS power!!!… Daily joy buffers this latest feeling of an avalanche of life tasks…. at work and home, financial crushes, stress of starting new counseling – opening old wounds…. But of course it’s expected that I am weary, not a surprise, this past month is always the pinnacle of summer busyness in my year… within one month I had three family birthdays to prep, VBS, scout trips, full time work at full steam and no time for vacation, and back to school on top of my normal life running a household… Christmas time is calming peace in comparison!! Oh how I could use a snowday right now) and then these new blindside devil attacks layered and interlaced within good things… Which really are like God peaking into the dark corners and urging me to cleanse even more of the crap out of my life… Like I wrote previously, the devil is the toilet paper that stuck to Jesus’s foot when he walked into my heart…. I will sink and rise again holding Jesus’s hand…

And yet thru all my “perceived” trouble (which is perceived and not any trouble for God to handle), I know it could be much much worse and I am truly blessed, and I have God throwing me miracles and messages constantly…. I praise God above my Subaru (and in it and on it, LOL I had to take this pic, fun)…

Above all I praise…

I praise God allowing me to absorb the good works that HE laid at my feet, I praise God for giving me a “vehicle” in my situation, smile, words, and now improved health…  my living example that shows witness to others about God’s good works (and his golden repair)…

I praise God to be used as HIS tool, and truly truly I praise God for letting me witness into the secrets of eternal joy…. And then letting me witness it back out to ALL….
God is MY “ALL in ALL”

251

This essay is long, but another of a series of God teaching events for me… God will repeat scenarios until we learn what He is trying to teach us. I appreciate this lesson because it helped clear away the jetsam in my brain… Just know that the Holy Spirit blows the dust from your goggles so you may see… Thanks God!

Crossing Lines, 23Aug

Ah, sitting in the airport… Uses up three precious hours of your life before your flight even leaves….
But, it’s not so bad, actually reflection time well spent…

So, hour to kill, or maybe hour to live? It is air travel you know, you just never know… No worries… better than driving… The server comes up from the bar… “You asked for help?” Three of us looked puzzled… Oh! the one gentleman had hit the request for help, couldn’t figure out how to order a beer… Apparently he already had one too many! He said this is the most expensive beer he had ever bought. I said “well you don’t need it, maybe you should’ve just used your money going to the duty free and we could have all cracked open some liquid refreshment…”  Laughs all around… that started the chit chat, small talk you know that you get to enjoy in public places, grocery store lines, the dentist office… killing the time… this isolating Ipads? nope, don’t need those anymore! we had fallen into one of those delightful fun open conversations, I will call it “Words with Strangers”…

This buzzed gentleman asked me and the other man next to me if he and I were a couple, we both say no. He asked why we were each traveling; we both said for business… the gentleman to my left works for a security company and told us about the terrible food at his conference. I tell them about the great food at my conference, especially at the gala party – the oysters.. I tell them about the exciting science that I have been learning, about its uses to help the world … Our buzzed gentleman stops me mid-sentence and exclaims to security guy: “Wow, she’s pretty AND smart!” Blush… Security guy put his hand to his head in embarrassment. Buzz says, “well, she is pretty isn’t she?”. Security nods, says “yes she is”, but cringes, embarrassed for me… I start to say “it’s ok, I just lost 35 lbs, it’s nice to hear that, it’s a novelty for me, I have been working out at home, at church…”… I can’t finish my sentence because Buzz interrupts with: “Wow, she is pretty AND smart AND goes to church!!” Ha, smiles…. “Well your smile just lights up your face, you glow” (no I am not making this up, he really said that, like SO many have since my awakening last December). I don’t recount this to boast but to say that yes, Jesus changes your whole life and even how you look. Jesus makes you shine.

I can’t help but smile, it was sweetly said, in an inebriated cute way, nothing more… no harm yet… but ok, I REALLY want to get back to my science talk!!

And then we change the subject… Talking about food and then alcohol again… Security guy told us of his boss throwing a fabulous party.. I told them about the Canadian whiskey mixed with maple syrup and lime juice and cherry biters at our party, delicious!  Buzz says, “I bet you enjoyed them, huh?”
“Sure I did, yum!” Leading me, he then says “I think you enjoyed quite a few of them, I bet you really REALLY enjoyed them, huh?”…

SCREECH!!!!!! Oops….

There my friends is where I felt the tipping point of the conversation… I SCREECHED it to a halt… Bells and whistles, flashing lights, you name it… Signals a blaring, stop the train! Stop this conversation before it goes too far! …

There my friends is where the boundary lines needs to be drawn and held… Buzz can’t draw the line, his brain/mouth filter dissolved with his last pounded beer. I was not offended, just aware… He was leading a conversation down the wrong path for a married woman, for any unknown woman…. a conversation that is not proper often occurs because someone has blurred the lines… He was intrigued about my partying more than my science that was for sure… So, I had to step back and not cross that line. He erased his line, BUT I still saw my line, and I held it… Luckily, I also had “security” next to me. My eyes are open, my sober ears alerted my sensibility which alerted my mouth to correct my worded path. I halted the conversation with… “oh no, they only let us have two drink tickets, I didn’t have too much fun.”… Whew… Saved the line… “Security” then changed the subject for me.

A famous weatherman slipped into a trap a few years ago… some eastern European mafia girls plied him with alcohol, drugged him and ran up his credit accounts like crazy $100,000 over a weekend. Devious! Devil’s play…

Oh how in a devious situation someone could have taken this Buzz guy for a ride, emotionally at least… Could have blurred the line on purpose, like those eastern mafia girls, for financial gain…. Both parties could have given the devil delight in the banter. But it’s not right, not righteous, not even smart…

Yes, sometimes you feel the devil pull you across lines sometimes… And if there is a willing partner or player whose own devil is working hard at pulling them past their lines, well you can get that “snowball effect”…  or maybe call it dancing with fire… Either way, you are apt to get burned….  A Genesis song, Mad Man Moon, speaks to this… “And took off in the air. I flew to places which the clouds never see, Too close to the deserts of sand”. The lyricist never gets to come back from the desert sadly – BUT God would take you back in a heartbeat, God would forgive if you truly repented…

Solomon speaks to this reality, urging God to hear the repenting cries:
1Kings 8:46 “When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin—and you become angry with them and give them over to their enemies, who take them captive to their own lands, far away or near; 47 and if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their captors and say, ‘We have sinned, we have done wrong, we have acted wickedly’; 48 and if they turn back to you with all their heart and soul in the land of their enemies who took them ……  49 then from heaven, your dwelling place, hear their prayer and their plea, and uphold their cause. 50 And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their captors to show them mercy…”

A book my pastor gave me was my flight companion… I read it in the spring, and am re-reading it now. Guess what? I missed a chapter… read that as I sat safely on my flight, away from Buzz who probably missed his flight… “Security” was on my plane though, good deal…

Guess what? This book chapter four fits EXACTLY this scenario… Figures… Yeah I shouldn’t be surprised how God works in my life, always tossing me the right answer, the corrective learning situation… and then backs it up with text from the Bible!! So in Chapter 4 of Rob Fuquay’s book “The God We Can Know” he writes about knowing God’s care… Jesus is the gatekeeper for the sheep. the gate represents security. Sheep would go out through the gate for enjoyment – the gate led to joy. The sheep came in through the gate at night at the dark times for security.  Who was in charge of the gate? Jesus.
Jesus, the shepherd, our shepherd, our LIGHT of the world, would let the sheep go in and out (just like us)… but when it’s time to stay in for security at night, the shepherd sleeps against the door to keep the sheep in his fold. Jesus is our gatekeeper… The scripture is John 10: 7-9 “So again Jesus said to them: ‘Very truly I tell you I am the gate for the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and bandits; but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate. Whoever enters by me will be saved, and will come in and go out and find pasture’.”

So yes, as we, HIS sheep, look for Jesus as our gatekeeper. We are really supposed to be looking for that gate, that boundary line. Jesus will hold us in with His body, hold us as one of His own. And if we are lost, Jesus will still come find us and shine HIS LIGHT on our dark path.  His real shepherd flesh and blood saves us…  So that we are not deviled away by our enemies or by ourselves. Yes God will take us back, but it’s safer and it’s less painful if we stay away from crossing the line in the first place.

Will I approach that line again? Will you? Another day another adventure… I even saw that line drawn and redrawn and approached that very evening… a train car with six 20-year olds quite punchy from a night of rabble-rousing at the ballpark… Thank God, I was a fan of their team, slid right into their train car and conversation… One dude starts at me for sitting there and we banter back and forth, in fun… His foul mouth at the other guys (not me) wakes up the sensibility of another toasted 20 yr old who said, “Hey, watch your mouth, there’s a lady here”… See, there are people who know the lines of etiquette… There are lines being upheld every day.

So you better believe that we will all approach those boundary lines again and again! And I won’t be afraid to step out in fear of someone crossing that line. I won’t let fear rule me. I mention this story to a church friend and he motions like a baseball player drawing a line in the dirt with his foot. Yeah draw your own line, hold your line, and get ready for the next pitch.

I was about to finish this essay in my head as I put my son to bed.  He told me how he told his friend that night that God does not want us to be afraid. Truth from the mouths of babes, he is a spirit-led boy! He’s right, God does not want us to be afraid… God wants us to prepare ourselves for life… God says “I AM with you always”!!!

I pray God’s grace always to keep my and everyone’s eyes open, and our boundary lines clear… I pray for others seeing the LIGHT of Jesus that God sheds on my lines so I may plainly see them. Thanks God for security, for Jesus, and for the opportunity to step up to the plate. Batter up!

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Timing – Unfailing Love – email to praise band folks

Of course the verse of the day pertains today to the last praise song that I heard in church…. Psalm 94:18… Unfailing Love…. since I missed most of the service I loved singing that extra song, “Unfailing Love” at the end with them today, because I needed it, because God truly blesses me with unfailing LOVE, consolation and joy…

I was way late because the friend I was helping at church had fallen, I helped her and then took my son home, checked on someone who was not feeling well, then hauled back to church in a rush to get some organized praise in… Timing is everything with God. I was coming up the road a florist truck was swerving all over the road, really glad he didn’t hit me… I mean left lane, right lane rumble strips, and back, maybe texting? I don’t know… (I’m not making this up, I REALLY seem to get these crazy drivers allot)…. I started honking my horn at him of course (a Christmas tune this time)… I pulled him next to him at the light and rolled down my window… he almost hit the car in front of him but got it in park and I yelled “what’s wrong? you’re swerving all over the place, are you ok?” and he said “I know i know I’m sorry, I’m just trying to get somewhere”… he looked so out of it, so dazed and confused, I pray he stay awake as he turned onto the main highway… Thanks GOD for once again putting me in the right place at the right time.

Crazy day, crazy week, crazy year… but God is the great consoler… I was happy to get in my praise out in the unfailing love song…. Thanks for your music… it reached me when I needed it today, it always does…God’s unfailing love… The right place at the right time…

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From: “Bible Gateway”

Psalm 94:18-19 NIV

When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.

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Pray Outside the Box, 22Aug

Beautiful flowers from the church for a beautiful woman… Her services were beautifully heartfelt. I pray for the family, her mother father and sister, she was only 37 years old and died of natural causes. Pastor’s sharing was such a comfort to the family…. even though I barely knew her, she was a faithful Facebook Church friend… She always encouraged me in messages when I knew she herself did not have an easy life… Even in her situations she always found the energy to love others… truly embraced being a greater member of the church outside the building and into the Ethernet… after the services her mom brought her ashes over to a friend and me and asked us to pray over them  … I am reminded of the phrase to think outside the box… well we all need to love outside the box. Love for those we know and love especially for those we don’t know, but who need our prayers greatly. I prayed holding the box but I know that God has already taken her into His loving arms… Jesus was waiting there to pull her into heaven where she was able to finally find PEACE from a trying array of situations. But through it all she always gave love and she always had love, especially with her immediate family. I prayed to share love and comfort outside the box and back to this faithful family … Being able to pray out loud in SPIRIT and TRUTH is a new gift God has given me and I am honored and humbled to share prayers when called upon… it’s a blessing to have God help us LOVE outside the box… RIP, sweet child of God… eternally you are loved…

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God’s Eternal LOVE, 21Aug

I look back a year ago, at a photo of me at the state fair posing with a Coke can personalized with my name on it… “A Coke and a smile.” I look happy, I was happy, I am happy… I was and am always enjoying life. It’s genetics, it’s upbringing, it’s God’s gift to me. It’s a conscious decision to have an underlying contentment – or it is conscious to want to dig down deep past the sorrows of humanness and look for the deep joy.

If I am unhappy and stressed, then there’s something I need to learn from it. If I learn it, I might be able to change it. If I can’t change it, I will have to change me. I will change to be happy. Even more happy means I chose to continue to change. Both because I want to change into a joy state and because God wants us there.

The Coke photo was with my daughter, happy in the moment…. But waiting as we took the photo was her unhappy brother who wanted to go to somewhere else at the fair… When we went to his event, my daughter was then unhappy… That’s life, sometimes happy in the moment, sometimes not.

Life is here and now, life is for living, life is for loving, life is short. Eternity is not.

Eternity is not the “here and now”. But how you deal with the “here and now” will teach you what you need to prepare for eternity. Life brings unknown and known challenges, sometimes blindsides, sometimes clear as day hurdles. Life is for living past those challenges. Life is short. Eternity is not.

Life brings surprise and expected joys. Life is opportunity knocking. Life is for loving beyond those temporary joys, preparing for eternity. Life is short. Eternity is not.

Life is what you make of it. Life is short. Live in the moment, but love for eternity.
Eternity is an unknown, promised by a known.
Eternity is promised by one with eternal LOVE.
Eternity is a gift from God.

Therefore life itself is a gift… EVERYDAY a new gift from God to use life to prepare for eternity. Life is short. Love life and live it fully. Love life for eternity sake.

Your body is temporary, so use your mind to make it a temple for your spirit. Your spirit will live for eternity. I learned the secret to eternity – t was no secret – it was LOVE.

Of all the commandments, the greatest is LOVE. Love isn’t just a state, love is a commandment. Love completely, love fully, love without conditions, love forever and forever you will be loved.

God is LOVE.

LOVE is eternal life with God.

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Here’s the first writing from that awesome book Pastor gave me, I so appreciate the “Subaru in Christ” inscription he wrote…. No WiFi at night and plane rides great for book reading…And writing… God knows I need him more than ever…. Reminds me to stay vined…

I AM, book review, chptr 1, 19 AUG

Jesus re-vined me and entered my heart after I dropped my walls and feed the baby Jesus within me. He was already there in spirit guiding me, but now he became real in truth. Jesus became truly GOD to me. If I became Jesus-like then I worship God in SPIRIT and TRUTH, because we are intertwined, inter-vined.

I AM…. This book I read and am rereading I want to write about each chapter…. So what does I AM mean?

For Jesus it meant I AM God.

For God it means I AM, I EXIST, I AM ALL IN ALL, I AM Grace and grace is sufficient for you, don’t complicate it, don’t predict, don’t worry.

For me?
It means I AM God’s being here on earth… I AM made of God and therefore God’s CHILD. I am to be Jesus’s mini-me. No I am NOT God but I AM made from God, and connected as a branch on HIS vine, connected as part of His body in the church. If the whole of ME dies, the He will flow thru my whole being, be my whole energy, I AM IN HIS SPIRIT, I AM IN HIS TRUTH.

I AM a CHILD OF GOD growing everyday.. I AM growing EVERYDAY into A GODCHILD. I AM everyday growing GOD.

The ME is dying and GOD is growing….
“ME ME ME, play with ME, God”, children will say…
I am your child, so let’s be together, forever. Let me play in YOUR garden. I will swing off YOUR vine. I will play as YOUR child, I will learn YOUR voice.
I AM fine on the vine.

I AM
I AM ME
I AM going to be with YOU forever GOD
I AM HERE NOW
I AM

 

 

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This thought of focusing on Jesus while walking with him really really
comforts me right now – actually had a wave of comfort flow over me
this morning when I thought this and wrote this – truly we have a powerful God.
whew…

Walking on water with Jesus, Wash that Devil Away, 19AUG
When I let Jesus walk into my heart, that devil walked in too because
he was like a piece of toilet paper that was stuck to Jesus’s foot.
Now I envisioned myself as Peter with Jesus holding my hand on the water…
I will walk with Jesus on the water and trust him 100%. We will stand
there, eyes locked, and start walking  – and yes that devil will
dissolve away… and i will have peace…
Amen

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I had been in a (private) storm for a few days –so this was powerful for me to see God’s comforting presence tonight… I am fine – but know I am in a God-gifted retreat

Be Snow and Know I AM God, 17AUG

Well, yeah…. God is God… I know this because He knows me…Reminds me EVERYDAY…

I needed a retreat – I didn’t know I needed it so badly  because the things to retreat from happened AFTER I booked this trip – to is a science conference in Canada – the Great White North – in August – but there is no air-conditioning in the dorm room I am staying in – yet it’s ok – sure it’s hot, humid and sticky but this is how I grew up – this is not terrible, this is summer and I am grateful for it – it’s just that I could have had a nice a/c room with wifi – but I booked this last minute and wanted to be on campus and “I get what I get and I won’t throw a fit” because it’s an amazing series of events that got me here in the first place…

Conference starts tomorrow morning – that area is all A/C and wifi-ed – it will be a productive week and science-rich… therapeutic… it will of course be a God-rich week too – alone time – very therapeutic – retreat for 5 days – no kids – no work folks – no phone – no texting – no problem…

But it’s hot – sticky – I needed to process tonight like I did ALL DAY on the train, the airport the plane – I needed to reflect – I needed to ponder life and what has been happening (which I won’t detail) – but please know I am in a deep reflection right now – a devilish pull to top all other things going on this week –  I am fighting – I am relying on God to fight for me but I am fighting too – picking up my words to fight the good fight – and God gave me a week’s retreat away to reflect – thanks God –

But it’s hot – and God gave me a place to wander and rest comfortably on this hot sticky night – three minutes from my doorstep – a place to sit – a place to think – a place to work (library closes at 7 but this place is open until 11 and it is UBER A/C-ed) – AND it’s a place that has SNOW – yes – it’s Canada folks – yes I wondered if there would be snow…  snow in August…. Yes there is SNOW… and not just because I brought a fabric snowball with me too…

Yeah – Be Snow and Know that I am God – yeah, it’s a hockey rink – filled with cool ice and there is SNOW – well at least snow-like ice from the zamboni  – yeah that’s snow-enough for me in God’s summer. Yeah it’s God’s hand at work alright – God’s gentle touch in my life – yeah it’s GOD’S SNOW to comfort me – thanks God – I needed this…I needed snow… I needed You…

I need You God today and always… You are in control – You will give me retreat and rest – You remind me to stay humble and lovingly fear your mighty power…

Be Snow and Know that I am God

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Covering your face? Or Radiate?, 17Aug

Moses saw God.
Moses’ face shined, his face was radiant when he brought down the Ten Commandments… His face scared people… He covered it so the people would not be afraid…

So what do I do with my face?  People tell me I radiate, kinda like the glow when you are pregnant… physically I am not pregnant but spiritually I certainly feel that way… That plus my words have certainly scared some people… Imagine how I feel!!! God will continue to shine on your face everything that is in your heart… How you feel will show on your face… Trust me…

But do I cover my face? Or let it shine? I am pretty sure God wants me to show HIS peaceful blessings and joy. Maybe God does want me to scare the devil out of some people? If God’s will is to use me for HIS purposes then how can I not show my face? How can I not use my whole self to proclaim HIM and HIS works? I scratch my head sometimes and pray for discernment. Lord how do I use myself for Thy will?

I doubt I am supposed to hide my face… I think people like to see resilience and radiance and reaffirmation… I caught my own face in a mirror yesterday, scared myself with the glow then smiled…. Yeah don’t put your light under a basket (Matthew 5:15). Yeah this God is a powerful God!

BUT tell the people why you radiate! Don’t let them think it is from anything else but God Himself! (because they will, trust me) When praised remind them you are just using your God-given skills.

Simple truth shouldn’t scare the people, today’s people have likely heard about God… “In God we trust” is on our money and surely they have heard about money…  so tell them the truth, the truth is that you are nothing without God! The truth is God and God is truth.

So one should hide scriptures in one’s heart (Psalm 119) but I think it’s ok to show God on your face… Shine on!

Scriptures:
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 ESV)

——
Proverbs 11:30
The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life,
And he who wins souls is wise
——-
Psalm 119: 11
I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
——–
Exodus
The Radiant Face of Moses
29 When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the covenant law in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord. 30 When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, his face was radiant, and they were afraid to come near him. 31 But Moses called to them; so Aaron and all the leaders of the community came back to him, and he spoke to them. 32 Afterward all the Israelites came near him, and he gave them all the commands the Lord had given him on Mount Sinai.

33 When Moses finished speaking to them, he put a veil over his face. 34 But whenever he entered the Lord’s presence to speak with him, he removed the veil until he came out. And when he came out and told the Israelites what he had been commanded, 35 they saw that his face was radiant. Then Moses would put the veil back over his face until he went in to speak with the Lord.

—————-

PS… Yes, googling to find the scripture about hiding scriptures I came across my favorite poet : “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.”-Maya Angelou  And Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

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Devil Stand Down, God Help me Chase Those Birds Away, Kindle and Rekindle,16Aug

I really wanted to  write this piece in a strong and forceful way because I’m in the middle of some tough devil chasing…. But when I can feel myself forcing the writing I know it’s not Spirit led answers from God… my pieces usually take half an hour and I sat at this piece for 2 plus hours…. Was it a waste of my time? I doubted myself, the devil causes me doubt… No, because it was spirit-led for God to make me write in order to humble myself in editing… I see how God convicts me in that I am not to battle the devil myself, I am to rely on HIM, which is a good thing because HE is God… And when God pulls me long enough and I end with a very familiar lyric to myself then I know God has closed my circle on this piece… Thanks GOD for teaching me, for loving me so much to encircle and hold me as YOUR child in YOUR garden.

Here’s the piece:

Devil Stand Down, God Help me Chase Those Birds Away, Rekindle,16Aug

Right now I am in the middle of the planting season…. Planting the seeds of the good news of Christ… I am knocking on doors anew, sometimes walking away, shaking the sand off my sandals… but many I am working already cracked open doors and spending some time appreciating being welcomed into someone’s house, blessed blessed, blessed! The great commission can be done, it just takes you figuring out where you start… Start easy until you gain more tools in your toolbox… There are tough projects but easy ones too…
… Actually know it’s not you alone doing the work… And know it’s not YOUR work, it’s GOD’S work… Plant seeds to spread the good news, but don’t stop there… You might be called into duty to work the soil while God grows the seeds. You might be there to chase away the birds.

Don’t just plant the good news and walk away, stay to work the soils of some of the people… I found it’s a combination of new and renewing faith, of kindling and RE-kindling dying or dead embers… It’s not just about NEW commissions, its RENEWING-commissions… That’s a good place for new gardeners with excess blessings to share. Show the weary commissioners that their work is not wasted… Renew their spirits too.

Like in the four soils parable, people are at different faith conditions… No one said you couldn’t get in there and help them with their soils (or souls)… Till some old dried soil, and lend hands at trimming thorns, removing rocks and filling them in with extra soil… And yes, take some time to chase away those birds that swoop like the devil ready to eat the seeds of the good Word….

Use the old and new tools in your shed in new ways…

Why doubt your work? Did you do your work in God’s name? It’s the devil, I tell you from experience, which will make you doubt… The devil can sneak in with blindside attacks. But the devil also flies in “plain as day” like birds to eat fresh seed… and when you approach they all flutter away… A big whirl of feathers reacting all at once to the smallest scare. If you can see the devil come like birds then surely you can scare them away… By yourself? No! Don’t forget to call upon and rely on God… Command that devil to see God’s almighty power strengthening inside of you and holding you and ask God to make the devil stand down for you, your family and for others…. Put God firmly on your face, in your heart and in your walk. It’s God’s will to change hearts, it’s your job to witness that He did this in your heart.

Maybe you want to make it a game to scare that devil and he will get tired of playing (for now)… Await him knowingly and run directly at him with Jesus power and watch those birds flutter so fast… But don’t tempt yourself too much… It’s God’s power not yours that is scaring the devil away… And you might slip up if you think it’s a game… It’s NOT a game…

But do what you have to do to be God’s tool for this Great Commission… Remind the devil (and remind yourself) that you are following God’s command to grow the kingdom and to be fruitful.  Be part of the vine that is Jesus and be ready to help God takeover the world… But don’t let go of that vine… Rekindle your own flame for the Lord; don’t wait for more gardeners to fertilize your own soil, but fellowship with them to do so together.

But do still your soil from time to time to let it rest and replenish nutrients…
Be Still and re-listen… And re-kindle…
“Be Still and KNOW that I am God”

But then get back out there for next growing season. God needs you out there refreshed and renewed, rekindled and re-vined.

Grab your tools folks! Game on! Got to get ourselves back to the garden…. GOD’S GARDEN… Let’s go… let’s grow…

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Discernment, 14AUG

Oh wow, I was getting the scriptures for Sundays sermon to post on Facebook…. first I thought cool I never read this one before… And then I read it was about asking God for discernment…. I didn’t fall off my chair, but I could have… Discernment!!!!, that’s what I have prayed for this WHOLE time….what I asked prayers for myself – that first time… WOW…. now I understand why I feel over blessed with riches of spirit gifts, WOW, thanks God!

1Kings 3:
3 Solomon showed his love for the Lord by walking according to the instructions given him by his father David, except that he offered sacrifices and burned incense on the high places.

4 The king went to Gibeon to offer sacrifices, for that was the most important high place, and Solomon offered a thousand burnt offerings on that altar. 5 At Gibeon the Lord appeared to Solomon during the night in a dream, and God said, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.”

6 Solomon answered, “You have shown great kindness to your servant, my father David, because he was faithful to you and righteous and upright in heart. You have continued this great kindness to him and have given him a son to sit on his throne this very day.

7 “Now, Lord my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. 8 Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. 9 So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?”

10 The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. 11 So God said to him, “Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, 12 I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you

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Subaru Sermon – Strange – Surprise – Salvation, 11AUG

An email to my pastor:

Hi Pastor, that was a great sermon, very thoughtful… Listened in the car…

I so appreciate the fruit that appears in the orchard that God has given me… just like you read from Galatians 5…. that fruit seems to pop up awfully frequently for me these days…. it does still takes me by surprise, as you know…

Even just now I am listening to our praise song “ode 15, eternal life”  and I reached down to pick up a random vbs tag which is not mine, I have no idea how it showed up in my car… it’s the one about eternal life… I attached a photo… Strange

Another example is the next big Girl Scout trip to the exact same place where we planned then cancelled a vacation for us…. strange…

And strange wonderful to receive a work award yesterday… not so strange, because I write some nominations every year and have a good track record of them… Not so many people write them, people don’t realize the golden opportunity… kinda like salvation, many people don’t realize the golden opportunity… they have to choose to embrace it…. yup!

Have great fruitful day!

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Galatians 5 – Life by the Spirit

¹³ You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. ¹⁴ For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” ¹⁵ If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

¹⁶ So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

¹⁹ The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰ idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹ and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴ Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵ Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. ²⁶ Let us not become conceited,provoking and envying each other.

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God’s Stars, God’s LIGHT, 09Aug (camping on the beach)

Like the stars in the sky, there are infinite points of LIGHT that God shines on us… There are endless stars in the sky…. if we could see them all, if we could see infinitely far, they would all merge together to make one bright continuous light. If at night we see the Milky Way and the brilliant stars, then we know we are so tiny, so mini in the vast universe, and yet still blessed to God’s children, to be loved in the most personal way. You can look up and say, I know you are listening God, I know you can hear me, I know you can see me.

If there is less light pollution then you can see more stars. It’s not like the stars aren’t there… it’s you just can’t see them all… the man-made light blinds you to them. It’s just we have to move ourselves, get  ourselves out of the way, and get to a place where we can notice them more brilliantly.

Same with God’s blessings, just because you can’t see ALL of God’s brilliant points of light that bless your life at this very moment doesn’t mean they aren’t there… The man made blight can blind you to all your blessings. God is there alright, it’s just we have to move ourselves, get  ourselves out of the way, and get to a place where we can notice them more brilliantly.

For the light of the stars and the LIGHT of GOD… Move yourself…
When life is at its darkest you can see the most LIGHT.

At day or night…
God is there alright…
God is LIGHT…

Amen…

239

God’s Atmosphere, 08AUG (camping on the beach)

Sunrise at a beach…
God woke me up in time…
I was camping on the sand, I ran to the water so wouldn’t miss the sunrise, I knew it was close, but I had just about 10 minutes before the Sun actually rose…  and so I sat on the sand… God had made enough time for me to reflect… reflecting on how good God has been to me, to all of us. The praise song lyrics “everything you hold in your hand, still You make time for me, I can’t understand” sings through my head…
God makes time for me… God stills time for me….  not just taking the time to listen to me and to act for me, but truly He makes time because he really causes time….   The earth is turning, we understand time chronologically but we can NOT fathom how long it FEELS from when God created the earth until we are in the present day. God could speed up or slow down time if He chooses… He is the maker of all things; we are on HIS time clock….

The clouds are still…. the steady wind is whipping here at the beach, the waves are fierce but these clouds don’t move, they are cemented in the sky… it’s unreal and you can even see in the distance, to the north, pockets of rain showers, but the clouds DON’T move. You can see the reflection of the sunrise in the cemented clouds… Be still and know that I am God… these clouds are still… the waves are not… the wind is not… but the clouds are still… they are reflecting God.

The clouds are part of the atmosphere; they reflect this rising Sun in red, yellow, orange, pink against a blue sky. The clouds are being held still by God to reflect His beauty. The atmosphere on earth causes a reflection. For us to be God-like we are to be atmosphere-like. We are to reflect His beauty, we are to shine brightly as the Sun…. maybe we have some interesting clouds that are still in our lives, but these clouds will reflect the Sun in brilliant color, they will reflect the beauty, they will reflect truth and they will be still.

Be still…  just before the Sun arose I was joined on the beach by another and another and another, appreciating God. We camp together,  we laugh together, we love life together…  we together make the atmosphere…  I realize that it was not “be quiet and know that I am God” time but it was “be together and reflect God” time… reflect the beauty of God in our friendship… the beauty of God in our appreciation of life… and the beauty of God in creating ALL that is held in His hands… for us it was exactly at the right time… these friends of mine together this morning… on the beach, as the Sun crested, someone turned around and then called out to all of us so that we could all see the most beautiful rainbow… a rainbow of God… A rainbow promise created NOT by rain but caused by God’s reflection of the Sun in the STILL clouds… behind us! I would have missed it completely just sitting by myself but God sent these friends to reflect His beauty to each other, to make an atmosphere of beauty, to create an atmosphere of appreciation and awe of God…

All of God… Awe of God.

It takes the atmosphere to reflect God in all those colors – to show HIS brilliance – to show His love…
God makes time for me… Thanks God

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Mathtime is God’s playtime, 06AUG

No doubt in my mind that God is a mathematician of the highest form… from fractals to Fibonacci numbers, God has it covered in such fun ways… Golden ratios and a great way to learn all about this amazing math is this fun video of Donald Duck in Mathmagic land…. it’s a must view!!!!  check out the section at the three minute mark to see how math is the basis for music!   the 11 minute mark for natural patterns… everything is arranged in mathematical shape and the rules are always the same….   https://youtu.be/U_ZHsk0-eF0

I also am amazed about patterns in nature – patterns that lend themselves to spirals and repeating structures in everything from flower petals to snail shells….

here are more cool things on this webpage…  http://jwilson.coe.uga.edu/emat6680/parveen/fib_nature.htm

Studying math and science leads me to God in every direction – the more you know the more there is to learn – its endless…. it’s forever… more questions appear as soon as you answer one – a fractal of forever questions  (these concepts are not new but this article with the author’s name “A Heaven-rich” is a good quick read)

 

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I found a New One !!! Romans 8, 06AUG

Aside from the three sound bites in here, Romans 8, I have never read this whole passage….
It’s a blessing to have electronic bibles, scrolling and re-learning what God already had put on my brain….

I just relistened to Pastor’s sermon about Jesus calming the waves… calling to rebuke them and I thought this is also exactly what the Romans passage is about… we are already children of God we are Jesus brothers and sisters He is so intercalated into our soul that we are to call out and rebuke the waves to calm them because we’ve intercalated Jesus into our hearts and we have already been saved by grace therefore we just need to recognize it and call out “Father, Abba”  using Jesus’s voice in our mouths….”nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Yeah when we are one with Christ, He is our soul, our hope, and we are HIM when HE is in us, nothing can separate….  We are whole… We control our waves when HE is with us…. Thanks GOD!!!

“Hope that is seen is no hope at all….” Grown inwardly… hope is patient….Yeah, we’ve already gained those “first fruits” as children of God, we already have that Amazing Grace…. “Bright shining as the Sun… we’ve no less days to sing God praise, then when we first begun…”

….. “24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently…..”

And we already were made in the image of God son therefore children of God … God calls us before we were even born…

“29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.”

Thank you Lord for calling me anew each day, each hour, each minute….

Romans 8:
14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,[g] Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Present Suffering and Future Glory
18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that[h] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

More Than Conquerors
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

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Holding on to Jesus, 04AUG

An email to my former Pastor R…. Thought I would share…

Now I have a post-VBS, come back to reality check… Scale back down the mountain without falling… It is now more than ever that I truly need to stay connected to the LIGHT… it’s now when I feel the need to let Jesus hold me up… Arms raised surrender style… Financial bills, life worries, work worries, family worries, yeah swirling…. HOLD me inside the hurricane please Jesus….

This bracelet (photo attached) that my Pastor gave me is a good reminder for me to stay in Jesus’s circle of life and hold on… (oh if you could have seen the such excitement he had giving it to me on “Christmas in July” of all days, because the white bead contains water from Mount Everest our VBS theme… I was truly speechless with such a thoughtful gesture and such amazing loving support). This bracelet’s white bead representing the highest of highs in your life remember to stay humble and the black bead containing mud from the Dead Sea remind you when you’re at your lowest of lows to stay hopeful…. and for me the many beads in between in camouflage earthly tones are where I am scaling down right now… holding on to my faith to keep from slipping. The VBS slow song I’ve been listening to is “as I hold on to my faith, Jesus you are holding on to me”…

Truly I’ve been so blessed to feel the connection to the LIGHT of Jesus that will find me if I ever get too close to escaping to the dark… Psalm 139… I pray I will keep my joy, and I truly feel I will…

Truly I know I will keep my joy with my memories, my present tremendous blessings, in my hope in the future… As summer is still in full swing then winds down… I will enter my favorite season, Fall, and guess what comes after that? Christmas… this will be my first REAL Christmas, 100% now in Jesus’s loving arms… I feel he was planted as a baby in me last Dec/January and I’ve been growing him in my heart and in my arms all year and now he’s grown big enough to carry me through….

Yeah, that’s TRUE JOY…

Jesus holding me in JOY…

235

Praising God for Strength and Snow, 03Aug

Still got a snowball… This one fluffy soft, good for squeezing for stress relief….left over from VBS… Reminding me of HIS power to comfort me… so many times with his gift of snow in jan, feb, march…. Once even dropping me dead in my tracks… “Be still and know I am God…”

And still now… the snow comforting and reminding me of God’s power… last week I pretended to be the VBS fairy snowmother with the power of snow, (saving lots of snow from February to share in July), fun but I used it to teach that we truly truly need to look to GOD because HE has the REAL “Power to Heal…HOLD ON!” “He heals the broken hearted and bandages their wounds”… Psalm 147… It turns out that psalm 147 also mentions that God spreads the snow like wool… Yeah, it really does mention snow… Thanks GOD… You know every hair on my head…

So a few down moments for me today… hearing of folks very ill nearing death, and a sad lost opportunity to get away with my family for some needed vacation… So besides the armor of God to stay strong in preventative ways, my “go to” remedy today to pray thru it all was that I listened to Amazing Grace, date recorded is the same as my mom’s birthday… a beautiful rendition… Then I remembered why I had this as a recorded song because I wasn’t in regular church that day but instead was away, up home for my mom’s birthday… immersed in blessed snow up to my knees… Immersed in my family’s unparalleled love… Love so much from my mom that she collected two trash bags of snow for me to save for vacation bible school…  yup… snow

Yes, God made it full circle:  LOVE… SNOW… Providing… comfort… healing… SNOW… LOVE…

Thanks for making and loving every snowflake uniquely…

Thanks for making and loving each of us so uniquely…

Thank you God for the loving strength today, and thanks for the SNOW…

234 Jesus makes work LIGHT!, 01AUG

Whoa!!!!!

I don’t know if anyone else has made this connection about this phrase… Wow it’s too profound for me to have thought off it on my own, it’s God who connected my thoughts in HIS timing… put it together in my head… It’s powerful to me when I let God take charge… Here’s the thought:

“Many hands make light work”… This really means: “Many hands make LIGHT (as in Jesus’ Light) work!!!

Tell me others have made this connection…

I  freaky really realized that double meaning (GOD put it in my head) after a ten minute power nap just now… Praise God…. I was up with my son, not feeling well at 430am, he is fine now)… So when I felt God’s powering me down for a reboot, I took it… Ten minutes…

Many hands make LIGHT (as in Jesus’ Light) work!!!
We do Jesus’ work…
We are Jesus’ LIGHT…
We are Jesus’ work…
We are Jesus’ LIGHT…
Jesus works….

Whew God… You blow me away… and bring me back for more… Blessed… I feel as LIGHT as a feather when I let you take over… Blown onto the air and floating down into Jesus’ arms. Blessed… Light with life!

 

233 email about VBS to Pastor and co-chair, 31JULY:

Full House awesome… I was definitely nervous tonight… Definitely felt that uncertainty of “I have a captive audience to tell them everything exciting Jesus had done for me, tell everyone of my blessings, etc etc…” VS. NOTHING about me… Good thing I had planned that giant snow ball to calm me down… Blessed…
I was nervous in the prayer room… Funny how I can write all I want, and be so free at the actual morning VBS, sing as loud as proud as I can, and up!!! Our music leader and I sang a song everyday – just the two of us -pumped up for the Lord!!…  but nerves got me tonight…. I was nervous about how to share my burst in faith without it looking like it was about me… Because I know it’s not about ME being proud that God took an interest, but me telling how humbled I am that God uses me and my WHOLE toolbox… And how God uses OTHERS… That is where I should put my story telling… 2nd Corinthians Paul said I will boast about this other man who got to see layers of heaven…

So I realized all I REALLY have to do is JUST share my faith… (And then in the right settings with the people who already know me or not, I can explain the burst of my faith in as little detail or as much detail as feels appropriate..)… So tonight I shared that my faith was strengthened by boasting about the audience’s awesome children who enable ALL of us at VBS to see Jesus at work… To praise them because it’s thru teaching children (and teaching/reaching adults) where I have seen Jesus at work…

I know at some point I will nail down motivational stories in short and in long format… I already have audiences to tell other people stories to…. And it’s ok to tell my story too, I’m going to have to continue to tell everyone that it’s God who caused this weight loss and healthy life. I do that now, when I get those “wow” reactions I say in short “that’s one powerful God, I had nothing to do with this but follow HIS plan”…

Thanks for everything this week!!! You two and everyone kept me from a potential snowtastrophe of climbing too fast and too high… next year down down down… Deep into the earth we will go…

Day 1… Jesus gives us hope.
Key Verse: “O Lord, you alone are my hope.” (Psalm 71:5)…

Yup Yup Yup, spelunking for Jesus… when things are dark, finding the light of the world… Light up OUR world, Jesus… Thanks GOD! Thanks for our VBS family!

232

I Saw Jesus, 30 July

I woke up early to tell you this story of seeing Jesus yesterday…When I rolled up out of bed, the moon was smack dab in my face. I see that blessed moon and I always say “Thanks GOD!”    Here’s my witness:

I Saw Jesus, 30 July

I have a story about seeing Jesus…. A little 4 year old sweetie – Barbara – I got to witness Jesus in her…

A little 3 year old boy, who truly truly didn’t know any better, yanked her hair so hard it pulled out a big clump. I was there… oh to hear that scream, see the clump pulled out, and see others comfort this little girl. It was so painful,  she cried so much…. And her grandma emailed later to say she cried on and off for the rest of the day… Barbara said she didn’t want to go back to VBS because she didn’t want to get hurt again, but she wanted to be with her friends and it was breaking her heart not to be with them. So her grandma urged her to come back to VBS, and we encouraged her grandma, and I said to please tell her how happy her crew leaders and I would be to see her come back… And yes, Praise God, Barbara came back the next day with the biggest smile on her face. Praise Praise Praise.

For the bible lesson, we talked about that God has the power to heal… I pretended to be the Fairy Snow Mother with the power of snow (yes I saved 3/4 of freezer with snowballs from February), asked if there was anyone I could make feel better with my snowball, nope, as much as they loved holding it – it did not have the healing power that Jesus has…I reminded them that it’s actually God who has the power to heal… “He heals the broken hearted and bandages their wounds”… and that God has the power to forgive.

I was teaching but actually I was the one who was taught that day about Jesus – I witnessed Jesus in Barbara coming back to be with her friends at VBS despite being hurt by someone.  I was told by Barbara’s crew leaders that the first thing she did when she came back was to sit down next to the boy who pulled her hair and she said directly to him: “DON’T pull my hair” and then she gave him the biggest hug…. if that’s not showing Jesus is LOVE, I don’t know what is… She was being Jesus – at four years old she was shining Jesus love…

Jesus says I LOVE you, I don’t judge you, and “go and sin no more”. This little girl essentially said: “I forgive you” with her smile, “I love you” with her hug, and “go and sin no more” with her words. Will she forget? I don’t know…. But she forgave that day…. Jesus forgave that day. Jesus says: “They don’t know what they do, Father, forgive them… “

And we are all called to be Jesus as well… Not judge… Just Forgive… Always to Love…

Yes I saw Jesus today… And Jesus smiled…

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Perfect Love, 27JULY

I promised myself that if I wrote during bible school that I wouldn’t send them out until next week… But I changed my mind… I love this piece… Called “Perfect Love” below… I love God’s love…

I had this on my mind at 530am… Couldn’t shake it, had to write it… I know that I am not perfect and actually embrace my “wing it” ability too much…
But God loves me anyway…

It was such a blessed VBS day that I can’t even begin to write about it… And I don’t have to because I witnessed “God will provide” to 175+ people and then another 2 dozen at the homeless dinner… And like 300 on Facebook…

My favorite yapping at the homeless dinner was with Sir Bruce, singing songs, talking TV shows, and just kicking back to absorb his energy level when he is so much worse off than me… Better conversation with him then some regular ole people I know… I helped him write, he traced lines I dotted and we made a VBS mountain together… Free flowing fun conversation, no strings attached… another one was at church Sunday, I sat in the back with a brain damaged man… he was telling me about Jesus… Perfect when I am in that chatting mood, which is where I am right now… Which is how I always was… Chatting with no strings attached…

Perfect Love 27 JULY
God called me – why THIS timing is not mine to know – but God waited until I was ready and he waited until he saw that now is the tipping point between what I wanted to do in life and what HE wants me to do in life…  Luckily for me – those tasks were not all that different…  at least as far as I interpret God so far… It tickles me to know that God loves me SO MUCH that he just wants me to be me….

God called me to use my skills and my vast toolbox of physical and psychological learnings… God certainly wants me to use my smile and silly ways – God certainly wants me to use my organizational skills.. God certainly wants me to use my reach to touch people’s lives for the better…  But God wants me to channel those skills through HIS plan, NOT mine.  God knows I am NOT perfect and that i strive NOT to be…  God wants me to do the best I can with the time I have and the tools and circumstances…  He will place my work right in front of me every day if I just pay attention…

Do I have a perfect life?  no way…  not then and not now…  do I have perfect anything?  NOPE – never did and never will!  Should i have/be perfection? Nope, except  ONLY in ONE thing… LOVE…

Jesus came to earth to show us PERFECT LOVE… Jesus came to show us to not judge…  to care for people…  to become right with God and SIN NO MORE…  but Perfection?  LOVE is what should be PERFECT in Jesus’ eyes… It is my opinion that you are to do the best you can in everything else – but try to LOVE perfectly…

What does PERFECT LOVE mean?  it means you and I have a LONG road ahead of us…  we are tough cookies to crumble…  we have put up a fight for a long time to dislike and judge and push our agendas…  we confuse corrective actions and love… yes we do need to push ourselves, right our wrongs, and complete ourselves… and we do sometimes feel the need to teach others to be better at whatever God calls them to do… but we also have to accept people as they are and know that God is working in parallel wit them…  and YES we need to maximize our time doing all this with the short time we have here on this imperfect earth (even the earth is not perfectly rounded).

I do feel that it is important to take a step back and appreciate the tools in others which will help achieve this striving towards perfect LOVE. As leaders we need to draw upon peoples strengths, and reach people to effect good change…  we need to examine our toolboxes too – we need to say “How can I deal with this situation and these people?”

Perfect LOVE is only obtained thru Jesus filtering of our hearts and Jesus filtering of our mouths… God is patient with us, he made us and he knows we have become human sinners, he knows our motives before we act and speak – he knows all…

We will do our best to please Him…

We will do our best to perfect ourselves in all aspects of our lives… but ONLY to the glory of God… ONLY to please God and not please ourselves…

We will do our best to PERFECTLY LOVE…
We will find that GOD loves us perfectly, teaches us perfect through Jesus, and moves and molds us through the Holy Spirit…
We will find human Jesus in our human selves and share HIS LOVE…

JESUS is LOVE…
JESUS is PERFECT…
PERFECT is LOVE…

228   Merry Christmas in July, 25JUL

How could I miss this opportunity to wish you all Merry Christmas in July…. Is it silly? I KNOW silly, I work hard at silly, and NO, I assure you it’s NOT silly. It’s Christmas.

This time seven months ago I was in question, I was in flux… I was reaching to stabilize myself to only a few souls who wouldn’t betray my sinful secret that I wasn’t truly a believer in Jesus as the son of God… I prayed for discernment, and I got it… And I got Jesus big time… Actually He got me…

I still do pray for renewed discernment… New questions… Where do I go from here, God? How do I share your promised salvation? Who do I tell and when? How do I honor YOU without disobeying YOU? How will I stop asking so many questions? How will I “Be Still”?

I still reach to stabilize my new life, I never knew this path would take me where it has, I never knew I could find more joy than I had and I never knew I was to find true sorrow and true temptation too. Yeah light and dark.

So, a few days after Christmas, at our open house party, many brought me a candle as a gift…  And my daughter made candles too, I made a couple myself… A couple days after Christmas I found myself with about 10 new candles… Yeah, why so many candles? I pondered… Why so many when I NEVER burn a candle, ever… Why so many people thought I needed the candles? That I needed the light…? Oh yeah, didn’t take me long to put it all together… God orchestrated this… and He said let there be LIGHT! And He found the people to bring it. He found the people who beam it!

Well yeah, I do boast my God sightings way too much, and I want to stop screaming how excited I am…. but I just try to tell the truth… God smiled… God said this sleeping child of mine needs CHRISTMAS, needs CHRIST. God said you the people, “Bring My Light”

Yeah, God gifted me Jesus, I got Christmas… I got Jesus… Thank you God! I got to share…

God’s timing shook me, but now I reflect… God picked the ways, God picked the people, God knows what HE is doing… comfort in His plan… I turn to God to see the light, I turn to Jesus to feel the light, I turn to the world to shine the light. I turn to God to focus His light, gifting my heart and my eyes to shine Him…

Yeah, I still reach to stabilize while I broadcast… Yeah, I am scared because I don’t know what sacrifices I must make now… I felt and have been told that the devil is out to get those who turn away from evil and ignorance… Yeah, God told me to look for Christmas everyday this year, lest I stop listening, lest I stop looking for the light. I was sent to deliver HIS message.

God assures me the LIGHT won’t go out, that I won’t burn out… I know that God knows I don’t take any chances… I reach out just wanting to stabilize myself until I stand unshakeable… I will stand for you God, I will beam Your light. God willing I can make a difference no matter what…

Merry Christmas God. Thank YOU for taking me, sinner that I am, imperfect in so many ways, for giving me your LIGHT, everyday. Thank YOU for YOU, everyway.

I give all of me to You.

Merry Christmas God.

——————-

229

Christmas again, 26 JUL

I knew it was Christmas everyday but it’s extra sweet when God shows me it in different ways… I was sitting in a random pew for Sunday services and opened the pew hymnal to find a Christmas program 1 ½ years old… from 2013… How blessed to feel God’s love in every little detail in my life … I’m sure God saved this paper for me to find… “Come to the cradle”, come and find peace… Yeah, thanks God… That’s exactly what I found. Jesus is my peace everyday… Awesome! Blessed! Christmas! That’s the real ABC’s…

Merry Christmas again

—————-

230

Christmas Times Three?  Geez God?, 26JUL

And this….?
Really God? Just sitting here in the choir loft, I look to my left and guess what I found another year and a half old 2013 Christmas program like earlier today… this one from candlelight instead of contemporary… same year… Geez God… Thanks for duplicating yet something else for me… You will explain this to me some day when I get to heaven?

227

Not patience but discernment, 26JUL

So I had a good conversation with a Christian confidante…  I said I have to pray for patience he said “NEVER pray for patience or else you will be tested on your patience by Satan”… I said oh really…yes i know that for sure!!!  and he then said I should pray for DISCERNMENT… I nearly lept out of my chair when I told him that was exactly the prayer I asked for from the very beginning… discernment… you remember oh so long 7 months ago…. yeah I renew my own prayer for discernment for everything now… I love how God duplicated things for me.

224 VBS snow praise, JUL

Today I was hiking and hands raised I praised Jesus on the mountain, and next week he will LOVE the snow!!!! I had to take this photo  – so EXCITED for VBS!!!!
God had the power to provide, to comfort, to heal, to forgive, and to give us an eternal home!! I am living proof! I praise HIM for helping me lose myself to find myself…

225 email VBS 23JULY

Yeah, what a fitting bible verse of the day….
Matthew 19:14. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

VBS is about the children, showing them (some for the first time) the LOVE of Jesus alive in all OUR hearts, encouraging them to look for, long for, and run towards Jesus in JOY – so that in times of joy AND especially in times of troubles they can also look for, long for, and run towards Jesus.

VBS is about ALL of US becoming that child again and reminding ourselves and showing ourselves (with rekindled youthfulness) the LOVE of Jesus alive in all OUR hearts (alive in MY heart, alive in YOUR heart), encouraging our ownselves to look for, long for, and run towards Jesus in JOY – so that in times of joy AND especially in times of troubles WE can also look for, long for, and run towards Jesus.

Because the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who follow and make Jesus alive….

Amen.

I believe Jesus lives.

 

 

226

VBS email July

Build a Mountain

Going to build a mountain today… I’ve been carrying it around in pieces for a long time…. This mountain is not made of rocks, but lightweight styrofoam for Vacation Bible School. It will also be easy to dismantle. What will be hard is for me to decide is what to do with the pieces after… do I throw them away? do I save them in case I need them? It’s a lot of baggage to carry around… yes just because the mountains is down doesn’t mean it’s gone…

But honestly I know and you know the mountains we are building our lives are hard…. Not ready to take down… they are made of rock stone dirt sin crap from us and crap we absorb from others… all the things that we put into our lives and then find them hard to move. It’s heavy … it’s no fun … it’s mountains that will hold you back….

We ask God to move mountains for us…. And He will… If you BELIEVE…. Mark 11:23 “I can guarantee this truth: This is what will be done for someone who doesn’t doubt but believes what he says will happen: He can say to this mountain, ‘Be uprooted and thrown into the sea,’ and it will be done for him.”

And remember, God asks us to believe it can be moved I the first place…. Believe first, then think… then look… be aware…. we have to look and see and ask “Did I build this mountain myself?” Perhaps it just built by itself?… Perhaps it’s the mountain in somebody else that I can’t move?

All these mountains…. we don’t know what to do…. we can ask God to move …. we have to believe God will move them…. He will dismantle them but is it those mountains in US that God would certainly enjoy US helping…. God appreciates the efforts, and rewards the work… WE can work on our own mountains, dismantle them break them down into smaller pieces easier to deal with.. What will be hard is for US to decide is what to do with the pieces… do I throw them away? do I save them in case I need them? it’s a lot of baggage to carry around… yes just because the mountains is down doesn’t mean it’s gone… and yet smaller pieces are easier to throw into the sea…

Yes if it IS going to take time to move a mountain in your life…. Be proactive… ask God… believe, pray and ask him to move this mountain… but be ready to know what to do with the pieces after its dismantled. Perhaps God likes action plans.

If it’s a mountain in somebody else’s life which is holding you back pray to God for your own patience. God moving that mountain may take a while its not at your pace but at that person’s pace and it’s God’s timing, not yours… maybe what you can offer is how to help that person take care of the dismantled pieces. Perhaps God likes action plans. So believe God will help then with their own action plan… KNOW and TRUST GOD to do what is RIGHT.

SO believe JUST believe… BELIEVE like you’ve never believed before. Sometimes mountains are moved slowly, sometimes we have to take the long way around and keep travelling while the mountain is being moved. Either way, know God is working on HIS plan… and BELIEVE…

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Feel the Love – Fill the Bag, 22 JULY

Fitting bag I keep hard copies of my writing in, huh? “Subaru… Feel the LOVE”

Got it from a very spiritual friend, who thoughtfully got it for me at a car show a couple of years ago… He was the one who called me out of the blue on this mother’s day to wish me a happy mother’s day and when I called back we caught up from a long while… How blessed I could share how God had changed me…

How blessed also I was this morning to have someone check on me, worried I was ill with my head down, when actually I was just so deep in thought sitting in my car, writing a text…. It’s nice to have thoughtful people around isn’t it???

Just counting blessings… And Subarus…

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“Til His Arms Went Free” 22July

Well rats, …. I wrote a simple song… I didn’t mean to but the chorus and melody were in my head… Woke up that way…. Hmm… I keep asking God to hold off until after VBS is done, but he slips these writings in first this in the morning… Lyrics were there but the tune in my head I had to adjust… So it’s now its contemporary sounding….  It’s simple but soulful for me… Sigh…

“Til His Arms Went Free” 22July

They captured Jesus
The sinner went free
They tortured him
Til his arms went free
Til his arms went free

Holy hol—-y, til HIS arms went free—-
Holy hol—-y, He’s for you and me

So they dragged God’s Son
Through the streets
His arms nailed up
Til his arms went free
Til his arms went free

Holy hol—-y, til HIS arms went free—-
Holy hol—-y, He’s for you and me

Thorns pierced his brow
Blood tricked down
God cries went out
Til his arms went free
Til his arms went free

Holy hol—-y, til HIS arms went free—-
Holy hol—-y, He’s for you and me

The darkened sky
The storms gave sign
Jesus died for us
And his arms went free
And his arms went free

Holy hol—-y, til HIS arms went free—-
Holy hol—-y, He’s for you and me

The cave was empty
His body gone
Jesus had arose
And HIS arms went free
And HIS arms went free

Holy hol—-y, til HIS arms went free—-
Holy hol—-y, He’s for you and me

He walked the earth
He fills our hearts
Jesus guides our souls
Heaven bound
Heaven bound

Holy ho—-ly, til HIS arms went free—-
Holy hol—-y, JESUS for you and me

 

221 email with pastor, 20JUL

Hi Pastor,  I just re-listened to a previous sermon about stress (which I thought might be good to rehear, LOL) but really i wanted to email you because it’s the end of the sermon where you had the drive home message that resounded with me…. the scripture from one of John’s letters is about us being a child of God and once you realize that, you will have peace…

This scripture talks about us being NOT of this world if we follow Jesus … Jesus overcame the world… and that matches a conversation that I had with the guest preacher and a friend… in a nutshell he said that if we follow Jesus then we are not of this world… therefore when we get to heaven we won’t be in the exact same position that we are in this world – and he talked about how God is pleased when we keep with fellow people who are believers like us but truly is only God who can do the changing of each person….

1 John 5 (NIV)

Faith in the Incarnate Son of God

5 Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. ² This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. ³ In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, ⁴ for everyone born of Godovercomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. ⁵ Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.

⁶ This is the one who came by water and blood—Jesus Christ. He did not come by water only, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit who testifies, because the Spirit is the truth. ⁷ For there are three that testify:⁸ the Spirit, the water and the blood; and the three are in agreement.⁹ We accept human testimony, but God’s testimony is greater because it is the testimony of God, which he has given about his Son. ¹⁰ Whoever believes in the Son of God accepts this testimony. Whoever does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because they have not believed the testimony God has given about his Son. ¹¹ And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.¹² Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.

Concluding Affirmations

¹³ I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of Godso that you may know that you have eternal life. ¹⁴ This is the confidencewe have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. ¹⁵ And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

¹⁶ If you see any brother or sister commit a sin that does not lead to death, you should pray and God will give them life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that you should pray about that. ¹⁷ All wrongdoing is sin,and there is sin that does not lead to death.

¹⁸ We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the One who was born of God keeps them safe, and the evil one cannot harm them. ¹⁹ We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. ²⁰ We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true by being in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.

²¹ Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.

 

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Here’s how God puts things in my head to write about…. This became a case study…. I had no intention to write this (or anything ever)… But the thought will bug me until it’s down on “paper”…. I drafted two yesterday enough to please God to get them out of my head, but not polished enough to send…. (After VBS, ok God?!?)….

Here’s the case study… Starts with 6 AM email writing a VBS volunteer, a dear friend, who feels unprepared because she missed a training… (thanks for sharing your moment of questioning my dear friend, it filled my soul with Jesus thoughts that I had to write out)….

“So no worries if you feel unprepared for VBS, how do you think I feel !!!! I feel ever like a new green Christian an evergreen, wow that’s profound and funny?!? LOL… If we remain evergreen how blessed we are….”

Sigh, going to have to write that devotion out now…. Evergreen Christian…. That is me this year, I feel to have Christmas all year, I feel like I am pregnant with Jesus this year carrying HIM… I did enjoy my first Easter, I can’t even imagine how excited I be at my first REAL Christmas this year.”

YES, that’s how these God thoughts start, sigh…. God laughs at me when I say please pause the writing until after VBS… God wakes me, Pulls the thoughts together… I would say it’s like deja vu, or like it’s “Groundhog Day” movie, or a time vortex, but it’s not quite, it’s new conversations, new thoughts… Sigh…. I write these to process (usually half an hour each)…

I am weak in my own soul, reaching out to Jesus to grow it….

I am strong in my own soul, reaching out to Jesus to share it… Blessed…

 

Evergreen Christian, 18Jul

I’m an Evergreen Christian…

Shedding old needles but growing new each year….

Growing Jesus and new blood…

Spreading the word of life everlasting…

Jesus alive – feeding, stirring, holding…

Brown tree trunk rooting you always in firm good soil…

Planted in the writers’ Word of the Lord, sweetly written in your heart…

Roots deep enough but still fragile to overwhelming circumstances…

Evergreen fresh growth each spring, supple unprotected green, NEW SOUL expansion… Evergreen sharp, wax-protected, hearty needles in winter, still green, still alive…OLD SOUL protection…

Winter at Jesus’ birth is spring in your life… Jesus born, Jesus alive… Spring at Jesus’ death is winter in your life… Jesus dies, flesh dead

Evergreen in Jesus is ever life, everlasting life… Jesus dead no more… Aware, awake, alive Evergreen Christian ever holding and growing Jesus…

Jesus ever holding and growing the Evergreen Christian… Jesus is Evergreen, SO ARE WE…

Aware, awake, alive…

We are EVERGREEN…

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“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Psalm 4:23….. I worked very hard at that this week… Guarding but being blessed to share my heart with so many…. I feel my heart grows and lives in the people I know…. I feel that armor of God kept/keeps me whole, my joy in the Lord never wavered, my Jesus holding me inside the hurricane eye… Armor and holding that gave me freedom to live free from emotional trappings…. Freedom to let your heart soar to heal to live…. Freedom i pray for everyone…

Here’s my piece:
Freedom, Christ Frees Your Traps, 17 Jul
When we are trapped – what can relieve that feeling? What can give us precious hope to continue living in the moment or forever? When we are feeling at the end of our road, what happens? Who happens? What is going to free us? Christ.

If you ever feel trapped, contemplate what it will take to be free – will it take quick action? Or slow it down, slow down and think about it, how will I achieve freedom? how will I release myself? perhaps a few minutes of thinking will lead to freedom but rash action may fail and just frustrate the situation…

Have you ever been trapped? Are you trapped right now?

How are you trapped? Tyranny? Physically? Emotionally? Can’t get out? What do you do? What do you think? Are you there for forever? Is it a temporary trap? Can you think this through? Can you open the door? Can you loosen the hinges or manhandle the handle instead?

Freedom is a grace – a way to save face – God does not promise us a lack of trouble, He only promises us that if we believe in him, he will see us through… God is true for the long term – so true and so freeing if we believe beyond our current traps.

Freedom is found in the aroma of Christ… 2 Corinthians 2:14  ^“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads in every place the fragrance that comes from knowing him.”…

Wake up and find freedom in your heart.

Know that we are eternally saved.

Fight your entrapment of tyranny…. Emotional freedom is to believe in freedom, to not feel trapped in situations, to have freedom to hope. Faith brings you hope and if you have hope then there is LIGHT…. if there is no direct light then there is still a tunnel you can feel your way out…. knowing that there is light at the end… knowing there is a light INSIDE – protect your light of Christ that yearns to grow your heart… “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

218

email to a dear friend who is not feeling well but is one of the strongest faithful souls I know…. I had never read this scripture before…

2Corinthians 4:7

7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. 13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself.

15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

217

FAITH, 15JUL

 

LOVE gave me Faith

Faith gives me LOVE

Faith gives me HOPE

Faith gives me JOY

Faith gives me PEACE

Faith gave me Faith

216

HOPE, 15JUL

Good God of HOPE,

I hold onto You as You hold onto me…

HOPE in Your efforts is all I have left…

Actually HOPE is all I need…

I have FAITH in YOU

and I have JOY in YOU

and I have PEACE in YOU, my Lord…

HOPE holds me …

I hold HOPE….

215

Hold on, 15JUL

There’s truly nothing like hearing the Holy Spirit moving… I don’t mean thru the wind, I mean in song…. Music will be our comfort until our song day… hmmm…. I wrote “dying” day but autocorrect wrote “song” day….hmmmm …

Songs and lyrics held/hold the therapeutic B-side to my scripture readings… Music puts scriptures in real life scenarios into your brain like the etched grooves of a record, except that your mind can find then like autoskipping thru a cd. Especially in times of sorrow and loss and pain…

This was a 3 AM wake up call by a sick kid, no suitable medicine in the house, so tired, but I run to the 24hr drugstore… Clerks restocking shelves… Music playing…. YES, “Owner of a Lonely Heart”… Better than a broken heart… YES, that’s a good song… Haven’t heard it in twenty years?…YES, pulled it right up in my brain and sang along…

Home now, 4 AM, found it on YouTube… Wait…. what’s the next song on the album? YES, “Hold on”… Never heard it… Hmmm… YES God??? You calling AGAIN??? Apparently so….

Yesterday’s text conversation with my pastor was three songs that said or meant “hold on”…. As Jesus is holding onto ME… So this song “Hold On” at a now blessed 4 AM… SIGH…. God…”YES, My God, you have been HOLDING onto that song for me, haven’t you God?”

4 “Hold on” songs better than a God hat trick…

4 songs… a God HOLD trick….

4 ever YOU GOD hold onto me….

My strength held in Jesus never stronger, my strength is up, like it’s nailed up on Your cross…. Can I bear it? YES, I can Hold On…. Hold On until my dying day, my eternal song day….

Thanks my Lord God – you hold on to me as I hold onto you – I know you will NEVER let me go – I love you my Lord.

——————————————-

“Hold On” by YES….partial lyrics

“…..Shake –

We shake so hard

How we laugh so loud

When we reach

We believe in eternity

I believe in eternity

Hold on – Hold on

Wait – Take your time

See it through

Hold on – Hold on

Wait – Maybe a chance

Is looking for you

Sunshine shine on through

Sunshine shine on through

Sunshine shine on you Hold on – Hold on Hold on – Hold on…..” https://youtu.be/p4HZ8LwCgRA

(Other three songs were “Hurricane Eye” by Paul Simon,

“The Reason for the World” by Matthew West…:https://youtu.be/swKPS9q7rMU,

and a third I never heard called “Holding onto You” by Paul Coleman….) ……….

(Epilogue: met a “random” God-faithful servant from Texas Sunday…. I just came across her last name… Yes, it has the word “Hold” in her name…. God, You just smile as you work on my case, huh? Geez)

214

15JUL email “Fell asleep in a washing machine, Woke up in a hurricane eye”

This was a catch up post for those who I hadn’t told personally of my awakening story –

I was ready to post this one day inside the closed private Facebook group that a friend had set up, but life happened… it’s fitting to share in this closed facebook group because that is where God cracked open the opportunity for me to fill in my historical lack of knowledge about the New Testament with my professor…. which led me to more professors, more faithful advisers, and most importantly right into Jesus’ Loving Arms welcoming me into God’s fold…

That day I started out feeling exuberant but at the end of the day pained immensely …. Hurricane surrounds, Jesus holds me in the eye…. There’s a Paul Simon song (of course, Hurricane Eye, Music at https://youtu.be/VyPD-N5PaeE): I truly “fell asleep in a washing machine, Woke up in a hurricane eye” Jesus pulled me into that hurricane eye – gave me peace. But he has to hold me anew each day. Each day I have to hold on tight.

The next day was more calm and I humbly shared this:

Ok folks, I know this is a very personal post in this closed group… but the reason why I’m posting it is because it’s time I decided to come clean to those I hadn’t had a chance to tell in person (I wish I had time to yap with all of YOU but time escapes me, please don’t be offended if you think I should have shared in person, it’s just God hasn’t run us together yet))…

So, I am a brand NEW Christian… As you know, I have been immensely blessed before and since then I have turned my life over 100% to God… He was taking me for his own anyway, so I decided to cooperate and not fight it any more…. He moved a mountain of my faith in front of me and told me to climb. I was 100% with God the Father, 99.44% with the Holy Spirit, but just 50:50 with Jesus). He gave me all the tools I needed. He gave me all the comfort I needed too.

God is responsible for EVERYTHING that’s happened in my life and most importantly God is the reason why I finally finally finally accepted Jesus between December to February 1st… I’ve been steady telling people individually (and been so blessed by people walking with me on my journey)…. but you know today I decided today’s the day to just let it out there little more… social media truly has been a major component in my facilitation of salvation… I know this is a closed church group so.this has been a stepping up to future public social media sharing of my salvation, I am going to share more and more openly as I get bolder and bolder… But the most important is I want people to feel comfortable discussing their faith… People (like I was) don’t discuss the very thing that needs to be hashed out, openly discussed with people… It’s not so good to “come out” as a new Christian like a clanging gong…even though it would feel great…. It’s better to come out like a whisper, and enable people to feel safe discussing faith with you… It’s non-judgement… I asked people not to judge when I opened up my faith questions… And God picked the exact people in the exact timing and walked them (or drove them) right into my path…

So I have been writing like crazy… I think its like 400 pages since December… yeah I did not choose to write this – God told me I needed to process and so there it is…. a nice thick packet… But conveniently I’ve been blogging it on a separate Facebook blog post it’s public but it is not advertised I figured God will do the advertising for me I just need that place to consolidate all this writing over 200 pieces… I’ve been so blessed by the movement of the Holy Spirit who has moved people.

It’s important to have a pseudonym NOT because I am hiding, I am certainly not, but because 1) I have small kids and want them to have their privacy. 2) I want to protect the people I wrote about, 3) the 99.44% off the attend didn’t know know me anyway.

You don’t have to read them… If someone sent me 400 pages I would probably smile and not be able to read much myself….

Again, this is NOT for my glory at all. ALL in ALL it’s for God’s glory… I was even convicted for saying it was my story… God got me good on that… Humbled me big time… It’s God’s story…. I am just God’s worker bee…. Even my name means bee in Hebrew.

Jesus has given me the biggest lift of my life and I’m so humble when I really rely on him to hold me up when I an weakest… And other times he lifts me up so much it feels like I am flying halfway to heaven.

Thank you and God bless… I would LOVE to discuss your faith with you (private chat, email, messaging, phone call)… It’s the most private and intimate part of our lives… I have been so blessed to see GOD at work in all of YOU… I have truly met Jesus, meet the Jesus within people, and HE has filled my soul.

213

Jesus writing in the sand – pondering – self conviction… 14Jul

I think I answered my own question while I was extra pondering while writing a friend – I figured out for myself the question about Jesus taking time to write … after I thought i was getting side tracked I found an answer to my original question – God likes me thinking full circle in my writing… God is so patient… the answer to the question is the same as the answer to ALL my questions – I will figure them out if I ponder long enough in God’s word in my heart… Smiles

So, a random question –

What does Jesus write in the sand when the woman is awaiting her accusers at the stoning? – if there are unimportant things left out of the bible then why is this one thing left in? – is it just Jesus marking time? and he did it twice… is he waiting out the people to give them time to think and not staring them in the face to accuse them – but letting their own conscious take over – and giving them time before they left…. OR some googling says he may have been writing the Jewish law down – but again the writing itself is likely not important – but interesting if it Jesus showing that he is not even worrying about the people trying to trap him… he doesn’t have to even bother face them… hmmm…. just curious… i know it might be unimportant to the story – but i wonder… and how did this story get put back into the bible if the early people didn’t include it? we are so disconnected with the concept of time- I was just standing at the 1300’s castles in Europe – it puts you in awe that they were only 1300 years and not 2000 years removed from Jesus’ time – and it begs yet another question – how long will God let the world continue to have pockets of drifting from his teaching and pockets of strong following of his teaching? curious – and humans have such a narrow view of “how church used to be” because they think of church when they were kids and they have no concept of church 200, 500 or 1000 years ago… we think about the money “wasted” on huge things these days and then you look at all that GOLD in the cathedrals in Europe – more gold than I have ever seen – and you wonder what they could have done with all that money… I wonder if God sometimes just shakes his head – like Adam and Eve – “what did they do that for? it’s going to take me forever to fix this” – ah, the human nature of humans – shaking his head – but smiling at small victories of souls won over…

anyway I am getting side tracked – at least Jesus wrote in the sand and not in gold… His message was delivered temporary for the time and thus required human to human spreading of the word rather than Jesus telling everyone to write down exactly has he said… no gold-embossed images of the word… hmmm… sounds like a new thing to ponder… hmmm… now that is a very good thing to ponder… Through Jesus, God set up person to person connections to make this happen… set up something tough to do – but the only way to convict people is for them to convict themselves and learn how to turn to God for themselves – that woman had to do that too – she had to convict herself because Jesus wasn’t about to condemn her… yeah…. – we have to convict ourselves of our sins – we have a very patient God – taking time writing in your heart instead of sand – until he puts you in a spot where you can’t escape your own sins… hmmm… full circle i think i answered my own question – Jesus wrote as the people were examining their hearts and he would have stayed there and wrote and wrote and wrote until they could read their own hearts… cool….

212

Chocolate on Your Cross, 13JUL

Well apparently my sparkly cross necklace had its first tarnish…. from chocolate… somehow it got dipped in chocolate, maybe nutella in the car… chocolate is intercalated into my salvation. I don’t think Jesus minds a little bit of chocolate…. Salvation is tasty for the tongue as well as the soul… we hunger for life everlasting that only the cross brings…

211

Freaky Cross, Passionate PEACE, 12-13Jul

Well that was kind of freaky… I was at church 10 o’clock at night, dropping off stuff for Vacation Bible School and I look up at in the window and a glittery cross is twisting and shining sparkly, moving with the air conditioner?… from the other side of the room?… I took a photo and video… Freaky… a freaky cross comfort…

I am usually not freaked out alone in the building, but tonight when I heard those normal creaks, I just had to tell myself it’s nothing… When I went upstairs to the choir loft to drop off my stuff, I immediately noticed the giant wood cross I draped in white fabric across the room with the outside lights shining on it… Ah comfort.

Then I noticed the old heavy brass cross that we ignore in the choir loft too much, I move it around like it’s looking for a home… Ah comfort.

As I went back down the stairs, I looked to the wall, there used to be a cloth cross tapestry there, it’s moved but that image on the wall is imprinted in my brain… Ah comfort.

I didn’t look for any of these crosses, they just were the first things to catch my eye… To absorb my fear I was able to spy a VBS phrase: “God had the power to comfort… Hold on”.

Freaky or not, I’ll keep looking for God, HE will comfort me always…

Freaky or not, I’ll keep noticing crosses when I am not looking for them, Jesus saves me, Jesus makes me sane…

It’s not that I will forget that God saved me, it’s just that God wants me to notice the cross over and over again, he is always retraining my eye on the only comfort, hope, joy and peace I need… I do thankfully have one of those strong memories that remembers the good and fades out the bad… Reminding me all the good in my life came from God.

God decided I needed daily reminders to look to Jesus’ loving arms hung on the cross… Everyday anew He wants me to feel like I could hold Jesus outstretched in my loving arms, strongly lifting Him off the cross and then His stiff body melts in my arms as He is resurrected into LIFE… His body dark becoming glittering and glowing… Then He hugs me tight and holds me up as my body goes limp, enabling Him to polish me, as my soul goes from tarnished twinkling to sparkly bright with His bold light emanating thru me as HE lifts me ever closer to Heaven…

His passion unmatched. God’s love never-ending, never tarnished, never dull.

God is moving the passion of Christ’s LOVE inside me, stirring my soul, setting sparkles in my heart that will catch HIS light and emanate out.

The Holy Spirit is blowing me gently, turning me to catch the light. Christ is shining thru me and He turns my soul passionate. His sparkling cross wills me into passionate PEACE.

210

Emails to Pastor(s)

You know what one off my favorite songs as a child was? “Go tell it in the mountain, over the hills and everywhere! That Jesus Christ was born!!!”

I am pleased to amplify and carry out God’s blessings… I have noticed my boundaries getting clearer…

God wants me to handle the good soil formed in my life and not drain out the nutrients immediately, to sustain myself…

If I know how to be a joy to the world safely, then I am not going to perish….

Anyway, thanks for your encouragement… I am so blessed to have you…

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I broke communion bread for the first time within my church as a servant recently. Although I had received communion many times since 100% accepting Jesus, this time was different – I served it….. I was blessed to serve the blood of Jesus with a smile – I couldn’t help but smile inside and out – I was so grateful for the surprise and intimate opportunity to share Jesus’s love with trusted friends – I smiled at those people whom I felt shared my now truth in understanding that salvation comes to true believers – I was so satisfied and my heart was so warm…

I smile especially because God is SO generous that He allowed me to see and feel all the smiles that are NOT for me but truly meant for HIM. He let me share in this – my daily bread…

At the end of the congregation sharing I broke one big piece for our awesome (and smiling) officiant – and then also remembered to rip an extra piece for our awesome (and smiling) video projectionist in the back… got to actually rip the bread… ripped it humbly but with a smile. Why does this act of sharing communion mean something to me? Why to us as the church? Why? Because when we break bread in a Communion community, we are actually giving up all the sins and angst in our hearts – and our pain is taken by Jesus in that briefest of moments – the only thing left in our hearts is a smile as well as a humble cry for Jesus’ pain of taking on the world’s distance from God… here is my devotion… God bless… Smiles…

Jesus was Broken for You, 11JUL

Jesus was gifted from God to absorb our pain, absorb our sins, and to show us the way to salvation.

When we break and eat bread in communion – we say “Jesus’s body broken for you” – we remember Jesus breaking bread at the Last Supper – we, like His apostles, are to remember Him. Jesus’ body broken for you – for me – yes – BROKEN – Jesus was broken, beaten, stabbed, tortured, whipped, dragged thru the streets, nailed and put on public display – body broken, spirit strong… Thorns in a crown, jeers, and a mocking sign “King of the Jews” – break his spirit they said – break him mentally for hours, days whatever it takes – that was more the goal of the mockers than for Him to have a quick painless death… Break His Spirit…

God’s true SPIRIT cannot be broken and He released Jesus’ SPIRIT for us.

Our sins are also breaking us. They weigh us down, then deaden us to the world’s needs and make us internalize our mercy towards ourselves instead of out to the masses.

Jesus says no matter what, the breaking we do to Him in body is just that, in body, we can NOT break His Spirit. We can not hide the love He has for us. We may try to shield ourselves from His salvation – we may deaden our pain with ignoring our sins – placating, medicating, soothing our pain away by turning to any means possible – except Jesus. Someone may have tired to drug Jesus with wine and gall to deaden the pain (perhaps even mercifully) but Jesus said NO. I feel that Jesus is saying: NO, I want ALL in ALL suffering – I want to feel ALL your pain and all your brokenness – I want you to remember ME by breaking ME and thrusting your pain onto ME – I have a cross and I will bear it – it is sufficient for you – I, Jesus, am sufficient for you – God’s Grace is sufficient!

Go and Sin no more… some sins are the fatal stab wound in the side, some are the tiny pricks of the thorns – Jesus is ever-willing to take it all – break HIM and heal yourself – break him open and know that in His blood that was shed for you that you will find the narrow path to salvation as He intercalates into your very being and becomes your sustaining SPIRIT.

We ought to be showing mercy to the masses – mercy to the body of Jesus – the body of Jesus is the church – ALL people are the church. If we are chosen and accept Jesus’ body into our own, then He wants us out with the people helping to bring them into His Father’s salvation, externalizing our mercy towards the sinners in the masses. Our forgiven sins are a road map to spirit-filled salvation for others, for the church, when we release our spirit for them.

When you take and break bread of Jesus you may SMILE – smile inside your heart. Jesus took your sins. Feel free to let your heart smile. God’s spirit will be there.

When you take and break bread of Jesus you may CRY – cry inside your heart. Jesus took your sins. Feel free to let your heart cry. God’s spirit will still be there.

When you climb up on your cross that you have carried all those years, when entering Heaven with smiles and cries you will be free. Jesus – freed.

I’m a free spirit

Jesus frees – Jesus is free – Jesus is for me

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It’s Salvation not Satisfaction, God’s Shooting Stars and Skunks, 11JUL

I am SO reminded to not get greedy with God… Yes, I do need to stop complaining about these thorns in my side… Paul (2 Corinthians) says they are there to remind me to be humble – to allow me to hurt like Jesus – and to know that we are to focus on personal salvation NOT our personal satisfaction… less us more Jesus…

I watched the stars in the cooling summer evening – I was hoping to see a shooting star to answer me in my cry of questions – I have seen so many unexpectedly this year – all accompanying a profound questioning God thought. So I shouldn’t be surprised that I didn’t see one – God is NOT a side show – I need to stop being greedy demanding results from God… It’s just that God has blessed me daily with mostly joyous surprises… So I look for these signs in everything… Everything is God… God is Everything…

… instead tonight I got the strong whiff of a skunk – and I know what that means… go inside and stop your night dreaming of a shooting star miracle… Of course, this skunk smell really really recalled my memory of the time I sat one night to actively look for a meteor shower and a skunk walked within a foot of me… yeah – God laughs at me and my demands – skunks instead of shooting stars – yeah God, YOU have got some sense of humor… YOU will tell me and show me what I need to know when YOU determine I am ready to understand… It didn’t hurt to ask, right? But skunks?… I get that… Thanks GOD…

I am excited when things go my way, someone said results can turn into addictions – yeah, be careful… I should be satisfied with so much I have gained… Not to rush myself or God in HIS plans… it has been 7 months of gradual changes so I should NOT get greedy.. and YES I need to be more grateful for those thorns… because even though they hurt, at least I have them instead of nothing at all…

So is it just human of me to ache so much over my thorns?… I don’t want to use my thorns for a pity party… It’s just human to share angst… I am not a completely unsatisfied salvation-bound soul… I am super satisfied with the majority of the hand God has dealt me…

There’s no doubt that it is God and ONLY God who has made me feel beautiful on the inside… And these days He is working on the outside too – I have no one to credit but God and God’s influence on others for my strength… He clearly wants to make me into my best – to serve HIM not me.

God hooks me in even closer by letting me see and feel the smiles on people’s faces that are truly meant for God… He knows how to motivate me. He satisfies me.

Sigh… It’s God and God alone who can help relieve my pain from the thorns, not always by removing them, but allowing me to tolerate them… Yes, my attitude is the one thing I can change towards my thorns.

I have to stop begging God and just let God do HIS business HIS way – we are all on God’s time… not ours… I have to respect God, fearfully, of the hand He could have dealt me, of the replacement cards that I might get if I try to trade back some of mine.

Thanks for the vent God… I truly do praise YOU God. You have given me everything and more, including the stars and moon to watch over me… And the skunks too…

…and most importantly and amazingly God, You have given me (and all) Your only Son – You have made our salvation so satisfying… The Lord is my Sheppard, I shall not want…

---

Psalm 23 (KJV)

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

² He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

³ He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

⁵ Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

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Ugh, I started this piece to process, not a big revelation piece – but processing as a newish Christian… But as a newish Christian thru I got a jolt of reality, a challenge to my motivation… Fits the essential question I was asking: so how do I fulfill the great commission to God’s will and not what is perceived to be my will?…

Notice Christianity? How do I fulfill the Great Commission? 08Jul

When one is a new Christian, do people notice? Should people notice? Should you tell them? How then is the great commission accomplished?

How do I fulfill the great commission? And do I set a goal? Or just let it happen?

I’ve lost weight, so to people who know me, they know I am proud and I am trying not to boast but let them know that if I could do it, they could too… Some notice and congratulate me, some notice and don’t mention it because that’s not proper etiquette… Obviously people you first meet wouldn’t know any different…

Same with being a new Christian… so to people who know me, they know I am proud and I am trying not to boast but let them know that if I could do it, they could too… Some notice and congratulate me, some notice and don’t mention it because that’s not proper etiquette to out someone else’s personal Christianity… Obviously people you first meet wouldn’t know any different…

And honestly, although I feel the miracle that happened to me and turned my world upside down, I am not that super different to the outside world… I did not go from drug addict to sober soul, from nasty person to nice person… if you ask people who know me they probably would tell you that I have strived to live a clean “goodies two shoes” life my whole life….It’s not like I went from a non-church goer to a church goer… I already felt like church was a home away from home, creeping around like a church mouse after hours, amazed at the humongous resource which is barely used such few hours in the day… Everyone knows me as a worker bee… My name in Hebrew means bee.

So, how do I fulfill the Great Commission?

I went from SUPER sinner to saved soul. Still a sinner… Saved people are still sinners, big time… So that’s why I wonder if any efforts I make to spread the good news may be construed as self-serving…. People who don’t know me might say: are you just trying to perpetuate a dying institution in corporate churches? They might say anything I do to promote how God has changed my life are “self-promoting” and fulfilling MY commission and not God’s… They may devalue me and cause me doubt…

I would say, “Don’t you see the golden opportunities that God has placed in my path, don’t you see that focusing on God caused great changes in my life and will cause great changes in your life?” And yet you can’t challenge people, they have to see for themselves…

Maybe God wants me to NOT boast about my salvation… But Paul says it’s ok to tell of others salvation… Hmmm… I know God made me a writer for this purpose of sharing his great power. I can’t think of any other reason why I would have to start writing. & I always say I didn’t come to God in crisis so there’s gotta be a point in all this that fits the Great Commission.

Maybe that’s why God gave me “a visual”, maybe I am losing weight to not just be healthier, but so that when people say “WOW” I can tell them privately, at the right moment, that it’s ALL BECAUSE OF GOD… That God gave me willpower and blessed me with motivation… I have been able to share that with maybe a dozen people who I truly did not know… I do now see how easy it is to become complacent, skipping exercise, eating mindlessly… This might happen to me as a Christian? Ugh, I don’t know… I know you have to actively prayerfully pursue Christian life, it’s not a one and done, it’s not a “saved and see ya whenever I get to heaven…” no, it’s keeping your eyes firmly fixed on Jesus and salvation… salvation is a marathon not a one time race in my opinion you can easily go wrong again… I know heaven is like that old Motel 6 ad… “we will always keep a light on for you” … but to become complacent again in Christianity would be a sin…

Setting goals: I didn’t choose to lose weight, just wanted more energy and get my act together… do I set a goal? Seeing results can make you do that. Or do I just let it happen? …. I also didn’t choose to become a hundred percent right with God, I didn’t choose the way God got my head on straight, but just God wanted me to credit my energy to HIM and get my act together… so I didn’t have to set a goal…. I did just have to let it happen…

God commissioned me to spread the good news… I have so many skills to use… I just want to try my best…

I should not set a Great Commission goal, but I did set a hope…. I stood there Feb 1st at the 911 memorial, knowing I could say “am YOURS now God”… I held onto the twisted beam and remembered 3,000 people perished that day and then I remembered that once Peter spoke one sermon that caused the simultaneous conversion of 3000 people… and I thought maybe God, just maybe, I can touch the lives of 3000 people… But I know it’s only if God chooses that… ONLY GOD knows HIS plan for me… I will just keep listening… I will just try my best… Thanks GOD for envisioning big things for me… Thanks God for forgiving me… Thanks GOD for finding me when I was lost… Thanks for keeping the LIGHT on until I get home…

Ephesians 3:20-21, NIV, Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

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Oh wow, such a spirit-led writing, woke up from awesome sleep at 5:40 with this scripture on the brain and God had wrote most of this in my head in between dreams… He had processed more meaning for me than I already had from this scripture, my ears open more and more to HIS sweet music. I wiped the sand from my eyes and blurry eyed found my phone…. Fast 30 minutes… Plus a little for editing and finding the scripture references that were already placed in my heart… Oh, how awesome I see now that this grain and weeds parable is immediately after the four soils one…. God’s linear progression today, my discombobulated ways… I am so grateful… And I still have sand in my eyes but my ears were open all night listening for God’s whisper… Here’s the piece, may it please God…

God Wants YOU in HIS Bouquet in Heaven, 08Jul

I’d like to take the wonderful opportunity to say thank you to God for placing such certain people in my path. I have and had so many wonderful people to learn from, pull the best characteristics from each one into my bouquet of life…. Blessedly more amazing people, than terrible people… But I learn from those folks as well… Learn to delineate the good from the bad traits within each person (because we all have both), the roses from the thorns, the grain from the weeds.

Matthew 13:29 “‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them. 30 Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’”

When God choose me, and when God choose you, he let all the seeds grow, grain and weeds alike… good grain people and weed people/temptations (planted by the evil one). When it is time to harvest, the weeds be set aside and burnt… And the best in you will be taken into the barn of God… into HIS eternal kingdom!!! Yes, you see God let’s those bad habits grow like weeds alongside your best grain characteristics. He dare not pull the weeds that intercolated into your being, entangled all around you, because the grain of who you are is/was not yet mature, is/was not yet firmly rooted in good soil.

When you are mature enough, which does not depend on your age, God will call you louder by name… God will lead you to Jesus… maybe others will cajole Him to come into your house and raise your life spirit like Jarius’ daughter (Luke 8:41-56)… Maybe you will cry out in painful screams of angst… When God says it’s time to wake up, you sometimes snooze thru the alarm, then angrily realize you weren’t ready to get up but God called you anyway. When you wake up earlier than the alarms, it’s refreshing and peaceful to see God coming for you, and you can be ready and waiting for HIM. You can work on your root growth deeper and obey his Word.

Before harvest God says: “it’s time to get right with the Lord…. It’s time to start pulling those weeds within you, so hold on tight to your roots planted in ME…” God’s harvest of the good in your crop will become easier and less painful if you cooperate with God and not work against him, if you identify and start eliminating the weeds in your life… If you dig deep and get to the roots of these vice-causing traits and clean out your soul.

It’s ok if you can’t get out all the weeds or invasive roots out before God takes you, it’s ok because God knows any harvest, no matter how small is still pleasing (Matthew 13:23). God will take you as you are. Be grateful and let God bless you with HIS joy.

God sees the Jesus within you, and takes you for HIS bouquet of heaven. God loves you and will keep you forever…

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No Baggage – Just LOVE – God catching Fish, 06Jul

I do love visiting with people, that’s just part of my nature… and having spent every other day for a short visit to my grandmother’s nursing home from my birth until age eleven, I understand the temporary nature of these visits, and the permanent situation they are in… I know the routine of flying in like a bird feasting on love and smiles and flying just as quickly out… Bringing the kids with me, maybe someday they will understand the power in a smile, a kind word… Some folks entering may be overwhelmed with the sadness of the people’s situation… Some may be caught up (especially with their own family members) in the guilt of such a short visit as well as feeling the pain of seeing them decline…and not being able to drop their baggage of the inevitably grave situation…

So entering as an outsider to “be the church” and visit briefly, you flutter in like a bird… are able to share Jesus’s pure love, while dropping your own baggage at the door… You are called to have compassion, as in Romans 12:15 (KJV) “15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”…   With this recent visit I was reminded how nice visiting the nursing home is… Nice isn’t sufficient a word… I LOVE visiting… The first man I met grabbed my hand and wished me peace. He became my go to guy for music inspirations. Such a sweet exchange… Smiles come from all the people, especially when they see the kids… I get to share smiles and hand holding, no prep work needed… Abundant Grace gifts of community all around. As a friend from our church led the service, my daughter prepped the communion cups… My shy guy just looked cute… I thought I would ask them what they wanted to sing, and being it was the 4th of July weekend we sang some patriotic songs… and I suggested Amazing Grace… they loved singing of course. After the service one woman said how much she appreciated the service, and could understand the message…

Many well wishes and compliments abound from these lovely people. We are not family, so there are no expectations, no entitlements, just affirmations of community, just free love to flow back and forth. After service they “dashed” off to bingo… I could envision them concentrating on their own boards while keeping a watchful eye over each other’s numbers… Keeping a watchful eye over each other’s lives… On the way out I met a man, a veteran, originally from Pittsburgh, who couldn’t hear me, said he was a paratrooper jumping out of planes and lost his hearing from that, and he didn’t get the health care he needed as a vet… He told me in Pittsburgh that he could catch fish just using his bare hands… Hmmm…. He just scooped his hands to show me how easy it is to catch fish.

These people held my hands as I held theirs but truly they captured my heart… Through the love showered on me, it reminds me that I am just one of the lucky fish that HE, our Heavenly Father, caught in HIS hands. No entitlement expected, just an affirmation that I appreciate of His LOVE. No baggage, no guilt, God scooped His hands and caught me while Jesus reached out to wake me from my slumber by holding my hand… Telling me I was just sleeping… Arise…. And now telling me to live my life in a way that when I am weak, I am strong… The scripture reading (2 Corinthians 12) was fitting and a comfort to me and hopefully to them… God knows there’s pain, anguish, loneliness, personal battles… a thorn in your side…. Paul reminds us to remember to stay humble, to stay weak so that we stay connected to God, and look to Jesus to show us the way to true inner joy and peace… The cross you carry, no matter how painful, is there to give you hope, it’s your way to your salvation into an eternal life….

—————

2 Corinthians 12 (NIV) Paul’s Vision and His Thorn

12 I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. 2 I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. 3 And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— 4 was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. 5 I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 6 Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, 7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

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God’s Alarm Clock, 03JUL

JUST like telling someone they really really need to be exercising, or getting their act together by quitting smoking or stopping one of their vices, or even (and especially) accepting Jesus, all these things are better understood and more likely to happen when the benefits are demonstrated as opposed to commanded or jammed down your throat. People (just like I did) have to actually open your eyes to see the light. No one can wrench your eyes open… God’s timing, OF COURSE, yet we can TRY to be the alarm clock to shake them and say “wake up!” And yet the best way to have them look for the light is to SHOW them how much you are blessed directly because you have seen the light and now the light is shining out of you… Show them “if it can happen to me, it can happen to you”… Show them how blessed you are from doing the simple act of getting your act together… Or should I say of allowing God to act together with you….And in you…

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Loosed from the Devil, 29Jun

One term has been repeating in my travels these past few weeks – its actually from a prayer – that you will be “loosed” from the devil…. has this happened to you (in a small or big way)? or do you long for it…?  well it’s a powerful feeling! You feel the release in your heart! your soul! your mind! Yes your WHOLE body can remember that powerful winning struggle of Jesus taking you for HIS own…”I chose YOU” (“Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.” Isaiah 43:1 KJV)… It’s a feeling of the physical spirit-human strength of Jesus manhandling the devil for you… and keeping you safe from his evil return… Do you feel those arms around you? Like Jesus holding you with arms under yours – holding you up and kicking the devil with HIS feet until you yourself join in the fight?   You feel it, don’t you? You can be loosed from the devil and put the victorious feeling in your life… And you will never want to go back, but if you slip you can call out (as many times as you need) for faith renews the hope, peace and joy…

26 And they will remember their souls and break loose from the trap of Satan by whom they were captured for his pleasure. (2ndTimothy)

Yesterday I arranged for someone to meet up at a church meeting with my friend who is an amazing example of rebuilding his life by the grace of God… Doesn’t matter what affliction / addiction / devastating influence what’s going on in your own life this Christian brother truly is a shining example of not letting the grace-filled light from Jesus be hidden under a bushel basket… (Luke 11:33). When I returned, to pick up my friend from this meeting, they were about to start a laying of hands prayer for an upset woman… I didn’t know her story was but I so moved (excited? humbled? enthusiastic? Yeah everything) to wholeheartedly and very humbly jump in at this opportunity for prayer…. it was solid and it was powerful…  the people networked around her with their hands criss-cross on everybody elses shoulders… it must have looked like the most wonderful net to Jesus, our “Fisher of men”.  The hand on top of my hand on top of her shoulder squeezed so tightly… “Amens”.. “Hallelujahs”… affirmations of the power of being loosed from the devil…. the prayer was powerful beyond powerful while also being as solemn as solemn… I was able to let myself down too, yes my guard has been down for months now with the armor of God surrounding me… but to let myself down into this net to feel the energy in the prayer… How blessed to partake in all the people around me truly truly feeling an affirmation of Jesus having saved them from the devil… yeah… it was not just a one time prayer for her – it was an all-time prayer for everyone – a reminder for every-time.

There’s a term – to “let down” – when you are nursing a baby and you have to let it go… you have to find your peace in your mind to let your milk flow out, otherwise it’ll be all held up. With a baby in your arms it becomes easier because you’re holding such a bundle of joy – a gift from God – and the baby is likely fussing… and when you “Let down” you not only feed your child but you also find your peace… So – when you’re pumping your milk at work, it’s not so easy, you have to find that memory of the baby and your state of peace from within your mind – because there’s no babe in your arms… Your peace is not in your hands and you still have to “let down”, otherwise the baby will get no milk and your milk will dry up from limited production… You must let down emotionally in your mind and your body.

The same is true with your spiritual life… you have to let down… you have to lower your guard you have to invite Jesus into your heart and you have to let your mind go… It’s peace when you surrender to give yourself to God… when you can let down like this, oh the blessings that flow…. Just like the song, “I surrender”, surrendering all to God becomes a heavenly a state of peace… sharing in the savior’s pain by remembering past pains, and now taking some of this pain away from others…”I’m laying it all down, for the sake of you my King”.  Your peace is not in your own hands but in the arms of Jesus holding you up – you still have to “let down” into those arms to find peace.

For these folks participating in this laying of hands prayer they acted out the victorious in victory over Satan… they found the hope… they acted upon their faith… they have found hope in small doses and in large doses and they allow themselves to let down and feel the joy of God that will heal. And they do this everyday… They surrender anew… They right their wrongs and pray for Jesus in their lives everyday, sometimes every minute…

So grateful and admiring these found souls who return to the meeting week after week to pick up their fellow weary travelers… not forgetting this important reminder in Psalm 66:13-14…  “I will come to your temple with burnt offerings and fulfill my vows to you— vows my lips promised and my mouth spoke when I was in trouble.”

Praising the peace in surrendering daily to Jesus’ love and picking up the good fight over the devil.

“Let down” – “Be loosed”.

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2 Timothy 2, NIV

The Appeal Renewed
2 You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 2 And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others. 3 Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. 4 No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries to please his commanding officer. 5 Similarly, anyone who competes as an athlete does not receive the victor’s crown except by competing according to the rules. 6 The hardworking farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops. 7 Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this.

8 Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel, 9 for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God’s word is not chained. 10 Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.

11 Here is a trustworthy saying:

If we died with him,
we will also live with him;
12 if we endure,
we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
he will also disown us;
13 if we are faithless,
he remains faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.

Dealing With False Teachers
14 Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. 15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 16 Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. 17 Their teaching will spread like gangrene. Among them are Hymenaeus and Philetus, 18 who have departed from the truth. They say that the resurrection has already taken place, and they destroy the faith of some. 19 Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness.”

20 In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for special purposes and some for common use. 21 Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.

22 Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 23 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

 

yeah – “Loosed” is a funny unusual term to come up at least four times in the last three weeks – life is so fun…

I appreciate the fun as well as humbling experiences God throws my way…. knows every hair on my head for sure….

the middle time was from this awesome genesis song (below) that I first heard last week – there is no end to the amazing spiritual messages in the Genesis songs for me – really awesome…  and all the moon references throughout so many of their songs and my life experiences – yeah – awesome….

 

“Burning Rope”   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWZzXg_plrk

The warming sun, the cooling rain,
The snowflake drifting on the breath of the breeze,
The lightning bolt that frees the sky for you
Yet only eagles seem to pass on through.
The words of love, the cries of hate,
And the man in the moon who seduced you
Then finally loosed you.

You climbed upon a burning rope to escape the mob below,
But you had put the flaming out so that others could not follow,
To be out of the bounds and the barks of those who do not wish you well.

You must blaze a trail of your own, unknown, alone,
But keep in mind
Don’t live to-day for tomorrow like you were immortal.
The only survivors on this world of ours are

The warming sun, the cooling rain,
The snowflake drifting on the breath of the breeze,
The lightning bolt that frees the sky for you
Yet only eagles seem to pass on through.
The words of love, the cries of hate,
And the man in the moon who seduced you
Then finally loosed you.

You’re old and disillusioned now as you realize at last,
That all all you have accomplished here will have soon all turned to dust.
You dream of a future after life, well that’s as maybe, I don’t know.
But you can’t take what you left behind, you’re all alone.
So keep in mind
Don’t live to-day for tomorrow like you were immortal.
The only survivors on this world of ours are

The warming sun, the cooling rain,
The snowflake drifting on the breath of the breeze,
The lightning bolt that frees the sky for you
Yet only eagles seem to pass on through.
The words of love, the cries of hate,
And the man in the moon…

201

God Works Outside the Box, So Plant HIS Seeds With LOVE, 28Jun

A friend pastor wrote about his sorrow because many people said no at a prayer outreach…he was sad that God cried for each of these souls…

I tried to comfort him, I messaged:
“Look at Matthew 10:11-14, “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet” So, just do your best and let God stress for you… You are still planting seeds… Your boldness speaks volumes… They will still remember that offer… That was me once too…”

Let me tell you of a time when I refused prayer, and oh yeah, I can still see the expression on that woman’s face… A seed was certainly planted in me though, her surprise… I know I have had received thousands of planted seeds thru my life, I was/am truly truly blessed to now grow them – the great thing was that so many seeds were planted that the ones that were dried out were replaced by others.

That time I refused prayer, I was flippant – I regret that now – but then I was… couple nights before I was rushed… I was checking into the hospital… my first baby was coming unexpectedly six weeks early, some of my water broke, I was scared beyond scared… I hadn’t even read up about labor yet, let alone premature labor… Hadn’t even met my new doctor… Just get me into this hospital!!! They said what’s your religion? I rattled off Catholic even though I attended a Methodist church for nine years… Honestly I was just checking some old box on a old form to get myself into that hospital faster… Baby is coming early!!! OMG I don’t have time for that question about my faith right now! Yeah, right… I take the time now to recount those days and to restructure and appreciate my faith…

I had completed unpacking that day, having moved just one week prior at seven and a half months pregnant… leaving a stable and beautiful hometown, a great job/career, and my family support system for the nearly complete unknown… Yeah a stress-filled pregnancy likely factored into my complications… single umbilical artery, gestational diabetes, and now this… blood streaming down my leg – six weeks early… Scared beyond scared…

A couple days later my daughter was born – she was fine and strong, just early, she apparently wanted to come out… Her choice? God’s choice? My improper health circumstances? A divine intervention that enabled me to come to grips with a new baby for six weeks before 911 happened (because 9-10-01 WAS her due date)… I have time to reflect now – but not then – blood down my leg…

I checked the box… “Whatever!” I said to myself… Well they actually read that box, then a lady from the local Catholic church came to see me the day after my preemie was born, she offered me communion and offered to pray… “Oh no, I’m good” I said. She looked confused, really confused… I don’t remember if I told her I had just checked the box in a rush. I do remember thanking her though – nice of you to offer, but no thank you.

It WAS really nice of her, I remember thinking (seed planted) about how good it was that volunteers actually took time to minister to those who needed it… But me? Really? I didn’t need it, didn’t want to waste her time… I was fine I told myself… I had God all figured out… OMG with the emphasis on M

Ha! I am so changed now!!!! Can you imagine me or anyone (or even you?) with that attitude? Yeah I can… because it was me!!!   I had God squared away in my box, not HIS. God works outside the box. God is LOVE. Love is patient….1 Corinthians 13… He worked on me years and years before and after that day… “when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away.”

His love came down on me like a river (as the song goes), caused a Christmas flood for me, I got corrective action by God, fully taking Jesus in and myself out. Like Jairus’ daughter (Mark 5:39), Jesus said I was sleeping and said “Arise”.

I am still shaking the excessive flood water off, into my saved rain barrels of writing, and yes onto other people in the splashzone… Some people came prepared with sponges to help sop up the runoff – and some perhaps came with their own dry cups to absorb my excessive rain from God. Of course, some backed away FAST, and still others were close to see the splash but wore rain slickers to repel the excessive extravaganza of God’s power… They don’t want to get wet, they are happy to keep dry inside their box.

Now my OMG is “Oh my, God, really?” I expect God in the unexpected now, I opened my box, actually God exploded it, that’s how I let JESUS in and let the LOVE come out. God was patient with me and so we should all be patient too with the seeds we plant, don’t be stingy, plant fully with love and go back for some more out of God’s pockets. I will plant seeds the rest of my life. It’s my calling now: to pay back the LOVE graced upon me.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13
(1) If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a nosy gong or a clanging cymbal. (2) And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. (3) If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

(4) Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; (5) it is not arrogant or rude. (6) Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.

(7) Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. (8) Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. (9) For our knowledge is imperfect, but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away.

(10) When I was a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. (11) For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. (12) Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood.

(13) So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

———-

Matthew 10:11 Whatever town or village you enter, search there for some worthy person and stay at their house until you leave. 12 As you enter the home, give it your greeting. 13 If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. 14 If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. 15 Truly I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.

Sometimes it does worry me a bit – but mostly I think God is comforting me – by throwing songs my way at the right times… because when I was posting this essay (written last month) about changes I was listening “randomly” to YES – and their song “CHANGES” was playing… fitting duplication…

200
Change Your Attitude – Fire and Brimstone vs LOVE…, 26JUN
I have always known that this notion is important and the email below speaks to how Jesus is about repentance, believing, and being forgiven – not about threats of hellfire.

Fire and Brimstone vs LOVE…

I wish people in distress could count God’s blessings more, I wish they could open their eyes, and cut back their own thorns… wouldn’t that be nice if everyone did… If we find grief with situations and people, it is my opinion that we are meant to learn something about ourselves in that situation… And then we can learn to change our attitude… at least we could try… And this is because we likely have no control over the other person/situation… What we can control is us, just us. My favorite piece of advice on one of my roughest days was “if the pain is in you, well you know exactly how to deal with yourself, right? You’ve lived with yourself for 45 yrs… so just deal with it.” Yup…. That advice worked wonders that day…

I really ignored Satan before, but now I see him… I usually see him coming a mile away… Knowing the right and wrong way within your brain makes ALL the difference, and I often can get over my grief situations by acknowledging that I put myself up for a fall…. And the doubt that creeps in when you know you have done something in good faith, that’s Satan eating at you for breakfast…. Don’t forget to engage your brain when you feel your heart guard is down…

By obeying God, Satan’s legs get knocked out, he crumbles and slithers away for another day…

Whenever you exercise and build strength physically you can withstand falls and health threats. So whenever you exercise your faith – even flash your smile when you feel Jesus holding you up – then you can withstand the storms. Exercising by running towards Jesus, and retaking your body and soul as a temple, your tabernacle, well that’s doubly good…

Grace begets brave living… And brave loving…

> ———- Forwarded message ———-
> From: “Jesus-Centered Life” <info@jesuscenteredlife.com>
> Date: Jun 26,
> Subject: Your Jesus-Centered Daily
>
>> The early church presents the Jesus-following life as uncomplicated (repent, believe, and be forgiven), with no complex atonement theories (we killed Christ, but God raised him up), and zero threats of hellfire as motivation (because the gospel is less about running away from something and more about running toward someone).
>> — Bruxy Cavey

 

199
Happy Halfway to Christmas, 25JUN

Why am I excited for Christmas? It’s because everyday is Christmas this year… My poinsettia is still red…

How awesome is it that Christmas and Easter are renewed in the calendar and hopefully in our hearts every year… Yeah it’s awesome!

But why do I get Christmas all year this year? Why do I not force myself away from this christmas merry go round, which certainly I also chose? Why do I allow this mental state? Why do I feed myself and mediate on God at a level I would previously said was overkill? And I’m sure others would say even now is overkill!
So I don’t know if God has caused this or I have caused this continuation of willingly focusing on God

I don’t know the answer to this I don’t know why I’m feeling Christmas just as much as I don’t know why I got here when I did.

What I am truly sure of is that I am really enjoying it. It’s a mental drifting away state… I try to focus on things and I am still getting my work done in life itrs just my life work is changing.

I am sure it’s because God wants me to be firmly rooted, and is giving me at least a whole year, I am being allowed and also allowing myself to grow. In the moment it feels such a long year but I know in hindsight it will seem so quick many years from now. And I know it won’t be done in a year but for at least this year I’m indulging myself in the pleasures of God… thank you God for supporting that.

Here’s a new-to-me song – good for a half Christmas

I Will Delight (In the Law of the Lord)
Words and Music by Walt Hurrah and John A. Schreiner

I will delight in the law of the Lord
I will meditate day and night
Then, like a tree firmly planted,
I’ll be rounded in Your Word

Blessed is the one
Who follows the way of the Lord
Blessed is the one

Satisfied
Oh, so satisfied
Satisfied

196

I have a friend going thru a court hearing today…. no details… but I found this website, talks about forgiveness…Here’s my message to them and the website link and part of the text…

Ah, ……, prayers for today, the storm passed, the sun is out….try to forgive the anger and rage…. Ask God to forgive … If they can’t see their ways, that’s up to God to correct… You have to forgive… It’s hard… Those Amish parents whose kids were killed by that shooter forgave the shooter right away, which is what God wants us to do, forgive… Forgive and ask for forgiveness… It’s the way to true peace… May God hold you tight in His loving arms so you can feel peace.

I was reading about forgiveness, from this website http://www.patheos.com/…/top-7-bible-verses-about-forgiven…/

Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

” The Biblical Definition of Forgiveness:
What the Bible defines as forgiveness is much broader and more comprehensive than what the world believes. In Matthew 6:14 Jesus shows us what forgiveness really is: “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” The Greek word for forgive is “aphiēmi” which means “to send away,” to “depart,” or “to yield up” which means you send away from ever being in the presence of either party. That means that if my brother offends me and I forgive him, then I “send away” the offense from myself and from him so that it is never brought up again. If a person keeps bringing the same offense up then they have never really sent it away or they haven’t truly forgiven you. True biblical and godly forgiveness is this; “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom 5:8) and “while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life” (Rom 5:10)…

 

197
Even in the darkest hour the cross still shines

198
Question, 23JUN:
The spirit, of all people, led Jesus into the desert to be tempted…. Why? To test Jesus? To show us we are able to resist temptations? Or just to give the devil some grief? Or?

And Jesus knew this ahead of time, right? Hmmmm….

I wonder about God testing vs God letting you be tested… I would think the latter… Many people blame God for the temptations, but I don’t think so…

I bet He knew that we would have to find similarities to our own lives in order to follow Him and He to show us that He understands our grief…

Matthew 4:1-11 New International Version (NIV)
Jesus Is Tested in the Wilderness
4 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted[a] by the devil. 2 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. 3 The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”

195 A
Funny red elderbugs this year, last year they were orange… Hmmmm…. Red was my field day team color today…. I was supposed to be blue, since I run it, I get to pick my color, which is always blue like my car… Well someone messed up and I got red…. Figures…. It is still Pentecost…. Figures….

I like how this bug is smiling…

195 B Email:

Yeah, duplicate scripture so fitting for today…. God bless your all…Wishing you calm…. You always have to come back to the calm…. Focus on Jesus for calm…
And there arose a fierce gale of wind, and the waves were breaking over the boat so much that the boat was already filling up. Jesus Himself was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Hush, be still.” And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm. And He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
— Jesus

——————————–

195 C Email:

good verse – I bet it will come up in duplicate sometime this week – just got a feeling on this one…

1 Corinthians 13 New International Version (NIV)

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

—————————-

195 D Email:

And there’s your triple play for today, God’s hat trick, for three occurrences for psalm 23 today… Me first, reciting partially, in the car thinking of things that people and I list as wants which are not needs…. Then a friend texting me the psalm after seeing sheep along the road and sending it by email, then me pulling a copy if it out of my old purse after ignoring that bag for about a month…. Sweet triple…. “The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want…”

 

202 – questions with professor
Q:

Well, new question professor and pastors…..the spirit, of all people, led Jesus into the desert to be tempted…. Why? To test Jesus? To show us we are able to resist temptations? Or just to give the devil some grief?  Or? And Jesus knew this ahead right? Hmmmm….

I wonder about God testing vs God letting you be tested… I would think the latter… Many people blame God for the temptations, but I don’t think so…

Matthew 4:1-11New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Is Tested in the Wilderness
4 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted[a] by the devil. 2 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. 3 The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”

A:

Here’s your answer-

¹⁵ For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. ¹⁶ Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.(Hebrews 4:15-16)

He was tempted so he could be like us in every way, to better understand our human condition, and to become the Last Adam. As the first Adam was tempted by the devil and failed, thereby ushering in sin and death and sorrow into the world, the Last Adam was tempted by the devil yet was without sin- did not give in- so that the sin, death, and sorrow might one day be banished from the world.

 

My RESPONSE:

Awesome, thanks… I never heard the term Last Adam…  makes me wonder if Eve gets a do-over?

I do appreciate approaching the throne to help with temptation and being able to say no, doesn’t always work but for major glaring temptation I have been rewarded with grace-given strength.

Thanks so much!

194
Entitlements vs. Affirmations, 21JUN
I was in the mountains helping a friend open her cabin, we worked hard… So we felt entitled to sit by the lake to relax, and later I also sat at the bonfire stirring up coals. It was where I felt such peace…. Of course temporary moment for peace, couldn’t stay all night and get bitten up by the bugs, but I allowed myself to accept freely offered PEACE….felt good…felt God…

Was I entitled to sit there? probably not… I really should be out solving world hunger and working for world peace, shouldn’t I? Shouldn’t we all? That’s another conversation….but I was granted this golden slice of personal peace and I joyfully took it. Gifts are more wonderful when you don’t expect them.

When I look to God, should I look for entitlement? I am pretty sure I should not… I need to respect God and his plan. I already live a golden cake-walk type life, what is my right to ask for entitlements?

Does God give gifts? Oh yeah! Gifts are more wonderful when you don’t expect them.

I have been praying for something for at least two years, so long I don’t even know… honestly the praying became like begging at times. Yes, we should all pray for whatever we need… begging and anguish are all acceptable… we should always go to God in whatever state we are in, for all of our needs, because he already knows them before we can even ask.

Although I did not feel totally feel entitled to what I was begging God for, I have to say that when I finally said “It’s your will, God… do as YOU will, not as I ask”, well wouldn’t you know it? God answered in a big way… God knew I had changed… and I received this gift within 6 hours, I am not making this up and I am not going to tell you what it was…. Just know God provides… God’s gift was an affirmation of His LOVE. I had to admit I was not entitled to it, even though some might say I was. And “honest-to-God” when I humbly decided I was not going to demand it anymore, my heart was truly changed… and when I prayerful lifted it to God, finally in the right heart-set, He in turn gave it to me. A gift. He loves me.

God freely gives Grace. He loves you and knows what you need, just turn to HIM.

But it IS difficult to do this for everything we should, and it is HARD to separate needs and wants, and who knows, perhaps what we are demanding is the best for the situation because often it probably is…. Scripture says “All things are possible if you believe”. God wants to you to look towards Him, God does have your best interest at heart. Have faith in God, and accept grace gifts gracefully…

If we pray for God’s will in all things, no matter how difficult it is to give up control, then all the gifts from God become affirmations of Love. When we shed our human desires for human acceptance, human love, human entitlements, and instead desire to please God and respect HIS plan (a very very long term plan that we are not entitled to know the details of), then everyday everyway we can experience JOY… And the best JOY – an eternal life – only comes from God.

A good friend said JOY stands for Jesus-Others-Yourself… If you ask God to change your heart and put Jesus first – then others – before your own needs, you will find JOY… And it will feel like you are affirmed in an overload of LOVE.

I can truly truly say that, PEACE is offered by a loving God, I pray we all to take and accept that PEACE in Joy…

THANKS God. You make my heart smile eternally for you.

193
FYI…adult Sunday school time… College level…. 20JUN
I love these discussions (email below) with “my professor”… Such a wealth of knowledge that he has, and the ability to draw electronically on great resources….

This is an academic interlude… kinda like hearing Paul Harvey saying, “Now you know the rest of the story”…

It’s cool that they can debate calmly, they can agree to disagree…. We need more of that in today’s society. Luther says “Partaking of the body of Christ can be of use because it involves the promise of forgiveness of sins. Since, however, every promise requires faith, and since faith is spiritual knowledge, then the bodily repast, if it is eaten in faith, must at the same time be eaten in spirit.” Meaning it’s real… The other guy says it’s a figure of speech… He uses the “I am the vine” scripture in his argument for it being a symbol.

“LUTHER: Call upon God, that you may receive understanding.

OECOLAMPADIUS: Call upon him yourself, for you need it just as much as we!”

My favorite agreement they have is:
“Indeed, to do the smallest thing at the command of the Master is spiritual. ”

And on page 11, “Respecting Helvidius, it can be proved from Scripture that “brother” can mean “cousin.” ” yeah that made me take a pause!…. based on all my cousin writing, on 17mar and more recently… Cool…

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: “Professor”  Subject: Re: Another question

> We explored this question in (too much) detail during my scholasticism class this past semester!
>
> What it boils down to is that from the very earliest years the church believed that Christ was really present in the communion elements. We can see this belief as far back as the 1st and 2nd centuries. It wasn’t until Ulrich Zwingli in the early 1500’s that many protestant churches came to believe in this “memorial only” understanding. In fact, Zwingli and Martin Luther once held a face-to-face debate on the subject called the Marburg Colloquy. Luther believed in a version of this “real presence” doctrine, Zwingli did not.
>
> Here, read this- it’s the transcript of the debate. You’ll learn a lot!http://divdl.library.yale.edu/dl/FullText.aspx… Follow the links at the bottom to the next pages to see their actual debate.

> —–Original Message—–
> From: debbie
>> Ok, Professor,
> I am curious….
> Why is it that Catholics are taught that actual transformation of bread and wine become real body and blood, and (I think) in protestant churches it is a symbol (am I right on that?)…. And why wine switched to grape juice but not in Catholic churches….
> What an amazing argument verse 43 must have started!!!!
> Verse 37 is also very intriguing in that God had to draw the people to Jesus first, and then Jesus shows them the way home… it’s not technically a circular argument, especially since these folks had all their history of God from Moses etc, but I could see how it would incite arguments! Jesus says he is God, but said God needs first to draw people to Jesus, and then they are saved…like the parables it requires open ears to fully understand, it’s taxing to comprehend and requires each person to make a personal evaluation… And it begs the question of why God made the system so intricate? Well because it’s a long term plan, not short term…. God is not in a vacuum of just God and people and everything being made from God are not a separate entity…. Everything is connected (everything from dust then back to dust)…. it’s as if within God there is all this movement here on earth… It’s as if people wander around, some seeking (some not) until they find the narrow slit of Jesus to pass through, to find eternal life… Not many get thru they say, the slit is narrow…but Jesus says he is here for “those who God draws to him” so perhaps it is for everyone but only so few will make it… One would pray that others see the LIGHT too…
> I am in no rush, but won’t it be cool to find out how all this shakes out in heaven?!!
> Thanks… I am so blessed to have fallen thru the narrow slit, or at least the first refining mesh…. Which is like a retaining mesh as well, Jesus won’t let me fall back out, he’s got me now. Like naaman I had to let go to fall in…. To let go the baggage that blocked my pass…. Who knew how blessed I would feel… And humbleness should be in being of such few that make it thru… Not pride…humility of the work now laid out for us… Now the real work really begins! God’s work is to help those find the narrow pass thru jesus…. I don’t think God minds if we polish the pass and make it a little easier for others to slip thru….but they have to let go of their baggage too, we can’t tear it out of their hands.

> 22 The next day the crowd that had stayed on the opposite shore of the lake realized that only one boat had been there, and that Jesus had not entered it with his disciples, but that they had gone away alone. 23 Then some boats from Tiberias landed near the place where the people had eaten the bread after the Lord had given thanks. 24 Once the crowd realized that neither Jesus nor his disciples were there, they got into the boats and went to Capernaum in search of Jesus.
> Jesus the Bread of Life
> 25 When they found him on the other side of the lake, they asked him, “Rabbi, when did you get here?”
> 26 Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. 27 Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.”
> 28 Then they asked him, “What must we do to do the works God requires?”
> 29 Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.”
> 30 So they asked him, “What sign then will you give that we may see it and believe you? What will you do? 31 Our ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written: ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’[c]”
> 32 Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is the bread that comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.”
> 34 “Sir,” they said, “always give us this bread.”
> 35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. 36 But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. 37 All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. 38 For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. 39 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. 40 For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”
> 41 At this the Jews there began to grumble about him because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” 42 They said, “Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I came down from heaven’?”
> 43 “Stop grumbling among yourselves,” Jesus answered. 44 “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. 45 It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’[d] Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me. 46 No one has seen the Father except the one who is from God; only he has seen the Father. 47 Very truly I tell you, the one who believes has eternal life. 48 I am the bread of life. 49 Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, yet they died. 50 But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which anyone may eat and not die. 51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”
> 52 Then the Jews began to argue sharply among themselves, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?”
> 53 Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. 54 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. 55 For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. 56 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them. 57 Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. 58 This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your ancestors ate manna and died, but whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.” 59 He said this while teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum.
> Many Disciples Desert Jesus
> 60 On hearing it, many of his disciples said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?”
> 61 Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, “Does this offend you? 62 Then what if you see the Son of Man ascend to where he was before! 63 The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit[e] and life. 64 Yet there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray him. 65 He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled them.”
> 66 From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.

 

192
Right now it is dawn in the mountains, camping with a great friend from church, helped her open her cabin for the season… It’s her and her kids tackling the big tasks and building new family memories…

Truly a prime example of church folks becoming my extended family (family away from family) and in turn I became extended family to them… Giving back as much love and time as I can, being part of a reciprocal family network… She needed the help, I love to work hard, I needed the retreat (no phone or data service), I needed to sit on a rock and unwind… after a great night’s sleep – this devotion came at dawn – about building Jesus’ net:

Church Family Cousins, 20Jun

Remembering how blessed I am for my blood family AND my blood family. My blood family extends deep and wide biologically, established in my parents generous LOVE, making every effort travel and to share with me a great multiplicity of extended love… cousins… “let’s go meet your cousins”… and I did… I have absorbed their love… I have given back love…

Most of the travel adventures I had as a child were on the way to see aunts, uncles, and cousins… Twice a year up and down the east coast – hitting all the big and little tourist and history hot spots and taking time to interact with the locals along the way.

Blood cousins, we are far apart now in a too busy lifestyle, society demands busyness, vacation for us now is less frequently cousin-hopping, and certainly less interacting with locals along the way…

Same in church… Blood relatives are there too, united in Christ’s blood. I came to church with a small baby, I came to establish roots, I moved away from my family, I came to church to grow more, I knew I needed them – but I needed them more than I knew… I found family anew. They then became my cousins in Christ.

My Roots, His Net…

In a new church I worked hard establishing deep roots, that fed me first in society love, but that grew into family love, that I was able to extend back to them… Love so deep that I don’t want to dig it up and transplant… And love so strong that I had to extend out extra roots into new space, into extra non-congregational lands to support my ever growing faith…

Faith family became blood family when, I accepted Jesus, took in His Flesh and Blood AND acknowledged a path that I must travel. “The path is narrow, but it is sure”… I don’t have a map for this path – A compass yes! and a firm sense of my skill set, and enough supplies to last a lifetime… Yes and direction – Jesus gives us direction – “He will show you the path to take Proverbs 3:6… Yes it’s travelling time.

Cousin-hopping feeds you love best when you reciprocate… When you are as much the giver of love as the recipient… When you provide the soil for your blood cousins to put down their roots.

When you look to your congregational family for support, it’s good to ask yourself if you have done the same for them… Feed them so much – and don’t worry if you get it directly back, hopefully we all realize that we are being fed cross-network and not back and forth…. Set up this network for others as you have enjoyed for yourself… Trust me, you will be fed… Just change the type of diet you long for…. Feed on JESUS’ LOVE and not individual human love and you will never go hungry. Look for the love of Jesus under stones, in the dark spaces, and plain as day in the open… But make sure you cousin-hop. Don’t over eat.

At first I went to church for the people. I needed and always will need people, that’s who I am, that will never change. Once in my church family, I followed God’s love in a unique path that I didn’t realize I was taking. God drew me near and I found Jesus along the way. In a long term plan, God was reeling me in… Slow but sure… Slow enough that my wriggling didn’t unhook me, God used a wide hook made even wider by my own extension of love into my church family, a network woven tight, built strong… A network that is GOD’S fishing net, the tighter the weave, the smaller the fish you can catch, the wider the net, the wider the range of fish you can catch, the stronger the safety net behind the first net, the more fish you won’t lose when things break…

See Jesus is a Fisher of men… Humans are the fish caught in the nets, but they must then become the nets themselves… They can be the builders of new nets, repairers of old nets, designers of new net styles, and then embed themselves into that net.

Anytime you network in Christ means you produce more nets for His work, for Him to draw upon…

See, after I accepted Jesus, I accepted being part of HIS net. I know my tool set, sometimes I build, sometimes I repair, sometimes I design, but all the time I network from within, by being part of that net… I am and we are called to work, as well as exist… we must be networked to work within and not outside God’s workshop.

I used to go to church – for the people…. Jesus caught me in His net… So, I now hunger NOT for people love but JESUS LOVE… And so I now go to be the church – for the people… same reason – new love –  JESUS LOVE… I am here for Jesus. I am blessed to be a member and a builder of His Net.

 

191

Calm with Christ, 19JUN
A very emotional day with church shootings and life happening… I’m just reflecting on stress tonight… I usually stay calm… Why? How? from 1) training my heart to wait until I evaluate the situation before I respond with emotion… And 2) from just having Faith… being sure things will work out….

Whew…

Calmness, I try to know which battles to pick… Which ones to stop…

I have trained in calmness, due to life circumstances… 1) I learned to stifle emotional feedback to grief-rich situations when knocked down repeatedly, humbling tends to strengthen us… it’s NOT fun… It’s where I learned to retract, not to cry…. I trained successfully, hardened my heart, grew thick skin, there is part of a tom petty song that fits this, but too salty for this… But this is not a unique situation; you make the best of life stresses…

For a light example: I was at my uncle’s yard sale, something dumped over and he jumped and screeched, and I realized I didn’t even move a muscle…. not even a finch… I am not oblivious, quite opposite, I knew instantly something had happened, I just waited a golden peaceful second to process how I was going to react..

Calm, yet in this awakening I let God THAW my heart ALOT… He melted it, but I am/was the one who decided whether to let down my walls or not…. And I am the only one who can apply the armor of God for myself, no one else…. When they say weep with those who weep, and laugh with those who rejoice, yeah…. my melted heart allows me to show more depth in my emotional state… It was there always, I already felt deeply… but what to display…. Now I feel released to cry more, to laugh deeper, to extra bubble over and over and over…

As I re-learn emotional release… I appreciate the re-practice… I have such JOY in the Lord, and I do cry when I bubble over in sadness now, when I pre-project into the future about the sadness of things beyond my control… But I take comfort with Faith in the One true God who will see me thru. And I tear up with the overflowing realization of how blessed I am…why me now…SO loved…. Overwhelming love….

So readjust I must…Calm with Christ…

190…. 2nd Timothy 3, God’s Blatant Reminders to build HIS kingdom, 17Jun

connected to my recent God sightings……Author Rick Lawrence’s recent blog post (below) spoke of the last letter to Timothy from Paul…. Paul reminds him the basic gospel truth again and again…. Lest Timothy and all us forgetful people forget to look to God everyday for the truth, the gospel truth, that God is in charge! Lest we forget “Be Still and Know I am God”.

The blatant God sightings are reflections upon how much we attribute to God: none, some, or ALL… The biggest blessing and human distinguishing feature is our consciousness. Why? Why do I get to question why? Why?

We see, hear, feel, taste and smell – 5 ways- and then we process…. We uniquely process, some faster than others, some with rose colored glasses and some with thorns choking out the light.

Humans attribute, humans can see but not believe, humans question, humans not only forget but doubt…. Humans are human…. and often humans negate God sightings or the existence of God all together.

ALL in ALL, God rules, God had a plan, it’s a long term plan, filled with joys and disasters we cannot even begin to fathom…. God gives us glimpses because He loves us, reminds us.  God sightings to make us smile, believe, fear HIS awesomeness and befriend HIS faithfulness.

WE see, hear, feel, taste and smell – 5 ways – but most blessedly, we process…. God gives us the tools to see HIM, everyday, let’s not forget to look, AND most importantly, don’t JUST sit back and enjoy, let’s NOT forget to use our tools to build HIS kingdom… We are here for His purpose, when we lose ourselves, we will find ourselves in HIS Kingdom.

3 Timothy 3:

“The Man of God and the Word of God

10 But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, 11 persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra—what persecutions I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me. 12 Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. 13 But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived. 14 But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, 15 and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

———- Forwarded message ———-

From: “Jesus-Centered Life” <info@jesuscenteredlife.com>

In his old age, and with the end of his life on the horizon, Paul offers this parting advice to his longtime ministry partner Timothy: “Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel, for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal” (2 Timothy 2:8-9). Why would Paul have to remind Timothy, a man whose whole life orbited around Jesus, about something as basic as the gospel? Because he is humble enough to admit the truth: Everyone, including Paul, Timothy, John the Baptist, Peter, and the disciples…and you and me…are notorious forgetters.

— Rick Lawrence

 

190 Six Months – Hatching Seven, 17JUN

It’s six months today, from my first positive awakening process piece, “Christmas Flood, 17Dec”  it’s half a year but half a lifetime ago, waking up is a long and short process.   Just like my hatched butterfly “Seven” whose photo (at 777 kb size) is attached, I came out but am still stretching my wings…”Seven” would shake him/her self and motion very purposefully to fill in all the fluid on her beautiful painted lady butterfly wings. She even excreted bright red droplets as she worked the fluid thru… Those on my hand stained for a day.

Thanks to all for being so supportive, I feel to be still stretching my wings, shaking sometimes purposefully and sometimes instinctively, and likely flapping to keep myself afloat.

And so I caught up this blog of my writings today. I was hoping to quiet my writings for a while (at least until after VBS) and move into life’s pressing tasks…. Nope…. Yeah, not my choosing…. I blogged them for convenience, collecting them in a fashion that is public but not advertised… Advertising is up to God…. I will be at the ready to tell my story both in short (like to the cashier at the convenience shop – I just said I focused on God and not eating for my weight loss) and in long format (these nearly 200 posts).

And you really don’t have to read them!!!!  But I so appreciate when you do and your wonderful feedback…..  If someone sent them to me, I probably wouldn’t read them!!!! Just know that I appreciate you letting me shake my wings until I am ready to fly…. Who knows, maybe a frog will gobble me up, whatever GOD’S PLAN, I have to be at the ready…

189 Really God? St Deborah? – 16Jun

This post is one of the biggest emotional releases in a while of “REALLY GOD?”  Why are you doing this?

This is why I pray for discernment…. am I just going crazy? Seeing things? Or is God truly orchestrating these blatant and I admit silly connections in my life? And not being shy about showing me? I don’t think it’s blasphemous to question, it’s probably really good to test and verify what is God given and what is “lead into temptation” maneuvering by the devil…. I just happen to question and praise out loud… (It probably makes the devil even madder…. He’s coming for me, I have to be ready!!! Flash my smile and my Jesus card)…

Holy S(pirit)–  this website  http://www.antiochian.org/node/17095

says Saint Deborah was commemorated on December 17th… that’s the date of my first writing with awakening….  Christmas Flood!!! (my diatribe piece was Dec 10th)…. But Dec 17th I was flooded with Christmas… Holy you know what.., I said “You gotta be kidding me Lord!!!” LOL!!!!

I looked up Saint Deborah while I was stuck in traffic after coming thru a rain storm in which I was inside a rainbow… cool… The spray coming up from a truck with perfect sun at our backs and I put myself right at the end of the rainbow for about 2 min until I drove through it. Remembering that God keeps His promises….and I started thinking about myself and being myself… And remembering St Deborah’s commission and being an exception to the rule (pretty cool if you check out the website)… And it’s raining Christmas rain apparently now too… Dec17th…

God has me pegged…. Thanks GOD for over abundance of reminders!

188 God’s Crossing Us

While wearing this glittery cross on Sunday, which my cousin gave me, I appreciated also singing the praise song “Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus”…

“When you’re dull from all that glitters… all you need to know is where you belong …”

I know that although it’s fun to touch and see this big clunky glittery cross, I reflected that it is nothing compared to the feeling of clinging to the real cross I now have within – now that level of belonging truly warms my heart! God’s crossing of us is crossing us safely into HIS LOVE for LOVE for EVER.

187 Crucifers – God’s Back Crossing Jun

From an email to my pastor:  more verses that make connection with his seed planting sermon:

John 14
22 Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”

23 Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. 24 Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

mmm…. yeah perfect… totally goes with the winnowing concept of seed and chaff separation – from yesterday’s sermon –

and also Mark 4, the four soils… God grows the crops of the seeds we plant and sometimes the harvest is 30-fold, 100-fold etc – sometimes we see the harvest and often we won’t be around for the ongoing harvests.
Mark 4: 20 Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what was sown.”

Back crossing… So God has been winnowing us and the church for years and years – this is nothing new – and God can take all the time He wants… Perhaps (like in your sermon) our global church enrollment decline is one of the natural progressions of winnowing the chaff away.  Perhaps the desired results are to GO OUT (and also to GO INTO our churches) and remove the chaff part and just plant the highest percentage of seeds… be a good sower – but also prepare the soils – and prepare the fields for God’s rain – and the rest will follow… Just like you said “do the best you can for God and He will take care of the rest”… yup…

I myself had to separate seed from the chaff many times in school… and I had friends who spent hours and hours of doing that – tiniest Arabidopsis thaliana seeds, the smallest of crucifers (this type with white 4-petal cross flowers – the crucifer name standing for crucifixion) in the Brassicacea-family of plants – an ideal 5-chromosome model plant system for all types of genetic and molecular work). Well, one friend found a very unusual mutant back in school – and couple of days ago I chatted with him and he is upset that ten years later he didn’t keep re-planting those seeds and harvesting to keep the strain alive – because seeds do dry up and lose viability… you have to continually plant and “back cross” plants to get the desired traits – you have to breed what you want into the strains…

That speaks to me as God’s mission – God has to back cross us with HIS Word and the LOVE of Jesus to produce the best from us with the best attributes He wants… and we can’t let our gifted seeds rot in our pockets – we have to actively plant and harvest – and plant and harvest – so that we don’t lose God’s growth of that lineage of good people – I mean seeds 😉

God is “back-crossing” us – with the Cross – Jesus’ cross – it’s not just a play on words – it’s really God’s way to increase the yield – the harvest to heaven…

186
Heard a sermon yesterday about building your house on rock which provided the scriptures to finish what I had draft written about blindspots previously…. The methods of following Jesus are the cure to deal with the madness of blindspot challenges… Glad the Holy Spirit glued that and this together when I woke up this morning…what perfect timing…. that Holy Spirit is so good!

What’s in your Blindspot? 15 Jun

What’s lurking that you are not paying attention too?

What’s Satan got planned to throw at you when you least expect it? Seriously! New or old Christians, when you declare your LOVE for the Lord, that’s what sets the devil scrambling…. Trying to find any which way to trip you up… to pull something out of your blindspot… So get ready, get your own self on solid ground. And get out and flash your “Jesus card” at the Devil’s evil ways.

When I became 100% Christian, I accepted not only that Jesus was real, but that I loved Him… I declared personal allegiance and like those “cross in your pocket poems” suggest, I carry Him always.

And the Devil went scrambling.

Twice, recently, I was driving and a car was in my blindspot, and I blessedly did not crash. I wasn’t watching what I couldn’t see, I didn’t expect it.

Multiple times, after I had declared myself 100% accepting Christ, sinful temptation came from my blindspot, I blessedly did not crash. I wasn’t watching what I couldn’t see, I didn’t expect it.

I won’t air my dirty laundry of sins, but do know that Jesus knows how to do laundry! He washes you clean. Jesus can do delicate as well as heavy duty washes, and if you lean your cross up against His for support, then He will gently hang your cleaned laundry up on your cross to dry in a gentle breeze. He’s the REAL Savior saving here.

If you are prepared, then the sinful temptations can be so obvious… Know that this scrambling Devil regroups… throws dark to soil your clean soul. If you see it – and even if you don’t see it coming – and you feel its effects – you can go to Jesus to do wash again and again.

How do you prepare for what you can not see? Stand on solid ground. That is how we survive those blindspot challenges to our faith – to our core strength… We can get lashed again and again by the same or new challenges – we will survive if we don’t put our faith on unstable ground – we will survive and certainly thrive when we firmly build our lives on rock- on the solid foundation of Jesus – then we have the best chance to survive the devil’s detailed attacks…

Matthew 7:24-27New Living Translation (NLT)
Building on a Solid Foundation

24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

 

They say the AIDS virus, HIV, will retreat to the spinal cord in a fraction of cases when treated with the powerful awesome medicines available these days. These RNA viruses will regroup, and mutate as if to create a new tactic to infect again… Viruses mutate all the time… Yes – that is the same tactic that the Devil will try – he will retreat to your blindspot – come up with something new or re-mutated old – and when your aren’t looking – will splash you with it. Look at the waves coming and reach to Jesus to calm them – just like Peter who lost faith and sank – there will be times that the blindspot challenges will shake you and try to knock you over – but if you prepare and keep Jesus in your boat – in your heart – in your soul – you will be on solid ground – and calm.

Remember Matthew 8:26 “He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.”

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46

—
Continuing in the autopsy phase of a new Christian… but a good question for all….

What Tool am I ?

I have been made whole in Jesus.

God used some of his sharpest tools in the shed to quickly and efficiently prune a few sections of my branch, but most importantly to re-graft me properly to the True Vine… And He was obvious about it…  so much that He wanted me to notice… He did that, in my opinion, so that I would now extra notice when He HOLY SPIRIT moves me, in words and deeds.

So God has this amazing plan and He wants me and you to cooperate fully, to be 100% at the ready…. Yeah… that’s the plan… Are you ready to be used by God for His plan not yours?

To cooperate fully in God’s plan means to find the greatest joy, the greatest strength… and when you give up yourself you will find yourself… Trust me…

So, what tool am I supposed to be in God’s toolbox?

How does God want to use me?

As Carbon paper (or a copy machine) – replicate (as exactly as possible) the perfect love that God shares.

As an Amplifier – repeat the good news at a good volume, allow more to notice God’s powerful plans for themselves by seeing what he had done in you and others

As a Multi prong outlet – share your energy with others yet staying grounded

As a pick up wagon, then as a bonfire (or a compost) – gather the other people’s dead branch trimming that God has pruned and burn them or compost them. Clear the dead branches to get them out of the way, clean up the mess, say “Move along, nothing to see here”, return the energy to God. Let the improved people move on with their lives with less burdensome baggage which would be dragging them down. And demonstrate to others in a way that they see just the good in others and not their past sins.

As a striker, sparking embers into flames – humbly personally see that intensification of the faith in others, rekindling their “soul on fire” like in the song…. rekindling of embers of seasoned wood.

As a campfire – allow people to come sit relax take stock of their faith, maybe even sing a praise song or two with their fellow weary travelers.

As sandpaper – be refining, BUT choose your grit wisely, human instincts can be rough… be careful not to draw blood… To some people, perhaps you are called to just allow them to fine tune and become smoother.

As a mirror, reflecting the signs of how their lives are blessed when you are grateful for their generosity. And sometimes as a mirror, silently reflecting how destructive behavior sucks the life out of situations.

As the seed-sower – spreading the good news of Jesus and salvation

As the watering can – saving up God to share with someone else. ONLY God can do the watering of the seeds that are planted, but perhaps you can collect some of that God Water, and share it…. See who looks a little dry and sprinkle on over….Help them out, in a God way.

As the washing machine and soap scrubber, perhaps you can help other people air and wash their dirty laundry and grievances (even against you) that need to be forgiven. If Jesus is the water that can wash us clean, why not provide the opportunity for forgiveness. If they have sinned against you, even better for you to provide not the “Calgon” of the seventies TV commercials but the reminder of “Calvary”. God loves doing the laundry, He loves it when people come out clean.

Those are great tool…

However, you DON’T need to be God’s pruner… He will be the driving force for that. He doesn’t want you to cut the branches in others…. sure sometimes you can’t help but suggest trims with spray paint markings to catch their eyes faster… But God is more precise and less painful in anything He does with others than any cut you could do… He’s got the Vision, remember? You catch a glimpse but He’s the ultimate “Big Picture Guy”.

So time to be ready in His toolbox, with one’s own unique tool set… might as well prepare yourself… hone your skills while waiting… even pack a lunch… and be ready to be called into duty – to be used to craft the GREATER glory that God intends for all of us.

184
I meant to finish this since it spit out of my head last week… it’s half done – time to send it out “as is” – I need to move on with my life – it’s one of the series of convicting myself on the “seven deadly sins” so here it goes – I maybe will revisit someday to fix it up… because another of my sins is rushing – and also thinking that if I finish something (even if half done) that I can move forward and put it behind me and open up my brain to something new to work on – so apparently I am not rushing on fixing my sin of rushing, LOL

Convictions on Pride, Vanity, Temptations, 10JUN
There are two aspects of pride/vanity that I am reminded to be convicted on… Weight and God.

I am so excited and blessed to have lost nearly 30 pounds over the course of 6 months… This time frame is in parallel to the time frame in which I’ve had my most amazing spiritual awakening. God had been working on correcting my lifestyle, not just a few aspects, but ALL aspects, simultaneously. When they say you don’t need a diet, you need a lifestyle change, it’s true and it works… Instead of hungering for food, I have been hungering for God’s word. Instead of going against HIS will, I have been going with it. Go with the flow, when you are in the know…. Know God.

Yes, nearly thirty pounds down, it surprises me still, and I am still losing, I am trying not to be vain/prideful but people mention how much better I look, and I couldn’t help but scope out my new hourglass shape on the window reflections, yeah sweet… but most important are my blood numbers – it’s what’s inside your heart is the most important! So proud of myself? Well, so surprised at myself, never tried to change my eating before – exercise yes, but really so surprised at the power of focusing on God instead of stress eating! It truly works… God is right sizing me.

I try to make the most of my food choices, and guess what? every bit of food bursts with flavor! Those smaller protein-rich meatier courses will satisfy your appetite… calm you down and not make you crave JUNK…

And on the flip side – but certainly related, every bit of SCRIPTURE bursts with flavorful meaning…. Seriously, I sometimes wonder if I am or have been overdosing on God with this voracious appetite… That sounds silly and yet I wonder if I should slow down or take smaller doses to mull them over, really slowly ponder, discuss and act upon for all the extracted flavorful goodness that can be applied to life…. Those smaller praise-rich meatier pieces will satisfy your soul. “Be still and know that I am God” in extracting the meaning and applying it to your own life with intent and not rushing will calm you down and not make you crave (or worry) about JUNK..

Vanity…. Yes for both losing weight and for gaining God…. Vanity is the Temptation that I need/needed a touch of conviction on… because temptation does not come from God… so I ask forgiveness for those times I fill with vanity…

Yeah – as healthy it is to lose the weight – and healthy to feel better about your look – it is also where you need to catch yourself before you are tempted into looking at yourself in vain ways… you need to catch yourself before you FORGET to praise God for HIS efforts in how far you have come – instead of starting to be self-critical in that you aren’t perfect yet – or instead of becoming overconfident (overconfidence is truly a temptation to be reckless in many aspects of life)… You don’t want to begin rushing it and overdo it in an unhealthy way… What’s important is to find a new healthy balance – one that you can sustain…

Yeah – as healthy and spiritually sound it is to gain God in a big way – and Joyous beyond belief – it is also where you need to catch yourself when you are not humbled by it….catch yourself before you are rushing it and you are tempted to feel like you have a righteous license of entitlement… Being a Christian is NOT to be flashy for your sake but for God’s sake…. God might use you as a flashlight to shine into someone else’s darkness if you are lucky and blessed (and you are) – so pray for God to use you and your skills to HIS glory not yours…. What’s important is to find a new healthy balance – one that you can sustain…

“Stir up a hunger in my heart” is not just a great song lyric but it truly is a reflection of how we want to maintain the hunger for God at a very high intensity… that intensity is sometimes scary – sometimes makes me wonder if I will burn out – but again – finding the new balance is the key…

This past week, I again was experimenting with fasting… Good Friday easy, the next time easy again, and this time? easy too… I don’t understand why… it’s the strangest thing… I don’t want to vainly point that out but I just want to acknowledge and Thank God that I have not felt sugar swings or felt light headed from not eating. In my previous life I would feel ANGRY from not eating – nope not anymore… instead of “shaken not stirred” my hunger is stirred – my life settling into a new balance…

This is God’s correction on my whole mind, body and soul… a correction facilitated and supported by God HE continually feeds me with HIS good word HIS great love and HIS comforting presence… I don’t need to do anything but eat up the God parts, listen and put it to good use… and skip the JUNK

(and stop rushing it…)

—————-

James 1:
12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

Listening and Doing
19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.’

———-

Well I WAS going to include a part about pride and overconfidence in driving in this essay, but didn’t get to add it…. But now I will…. Instead of almost driving in front of that road rage guy in the rain, today I must have had some angels, saints and God himself make the actual “save” when I changed lanes on the road right in front of a car in my blind spot…ugh…. Yes, again the car was apparently riding in my blind spot for quite a while, but this time it was sunny, a red car, and 75mph…. Whew, thanks God for saving the stupidest move I have made in a while…. It’s that blind spot that I can’t be over confident about…. This time no accident, I don’t know how, whew… And the red car lady (her license plate said something with”mom”) shrugged it off as she subsequently safely changed lanes out of my way…. and I so humble myself praying for forgiveness from God… Ugh, I’ve got to move away from that blind spot…. It’s going to get me one of these days… It’s also the blind spots of life that I/we have to look more carefully at, that’s where we least expect the trouble from…. But that’s EXACTLY where the trouble is…

The ONLY ONE I can credit for saving me (and the red car mom) today is God… Was none of my doing…

The ONLY ONE I can credit for saving me eternally is God…so many I do praise for their roles, but “All glory and honor are HIS” as the song says… Was God’s doing, not theirs and certainly not my doing…

Thanks GOD! Thanks for my physical life and for my eternal life!

Joy with humility and thanks…

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Caring for Creation, 10JUN

kinda nice to be cleaning up old emails and reflecting that God is in the little things – which I really understand to be true… 
its one of the nice affirmations that even though I wonder if I am “overdosing” or “obsessing” on God that I am still just re-balancing my life – and eventually I will find the right balance… I just am feeling a bit overwhelmed this week – for good reason – whew!

I so look forward to going up home for a day on friday – and maybe before I return I am just going to sit on a rock alone and look and listen to one of the beloved waterfalls for an hour…

From Bernard of Clairvaux,
“Believe one who knows: You will find something greater in woods than in books. Trees and stones will teach you that which you can never learn from masters.” Creation teaches us the knowledge of caring for all. Caring for creation and one another is a series of small choices that seem, in and of themselves, almost incidental, or shall we say, throwaway.”

yup, perfect little book…

so – this is the perfect preface to my half-done essay on Pride and Vanity and Temptations.. which may be next…

YUP, Forgiveness, 10JUN
I love this little “Windows to God” book – just flip open the book and within a couple pages from the opening find the right passage for the day! Yeah, this passage “When Right goes Wrong” pertains to much in my life and other’s lives… and I can also reflect when appreciated the relief that came in the circumstances where I forgave others or situations… (many come to mind but most recently that road rage incident – I still think about that punch and pray for him). we are going to do a craft at VBS that involves braiding fabric strips on ropes – and forgiving – the three strands stand for me, them and God – it’s good to forgive – just like God forgives us…

Even when we don’t feel we are in the wrong – it does feel better to ask for forgiveness… it doesn’t condone that other persons actions, but whatever bothers YOU about the situation, its a good opportunity to ask God: “what is the lesson I am supposed to learn here?” I ask that in many of my painful situations and yes, I have learned important lessons about my feelings towards the situation – one of the biggest lessons I learned from a painful situation was when I asked “how does this conflict relate to MY story”… Perhaps I was feeling too righteous about how I had gotten “right” with God, so when I realized that the conflict had nothing to do with “MY” story – I realized it was “GOD’S” story – well then it made sense and it clicked in my head that I was inflicting the pain on myself… So when I learned what I was suppose to learn and then guess what? the pain dissipated – yes the situation still needed to be re-mediated and it was – but not until I let go of the pain…

So – it is clear to me that I wasn’t the one who should be righteously thinking that “I got Right with God” – instead I should be humbled that it was God who changed me to put me into HIS plan, not mine… He was obviously planning this years and years – even before I was born… I had nothing to do with it but I did have to realize what was happening to me…

yeah – forgive to be forgiven… again and again….

 

181 Shiggaion Panegyric, 08JUN
Shiggaion, there’s my new word of the day to add to yesterday’s… panegyric – provided by a dear lawyer friend.

Add those two words together –  you know that my writing is sometimes shiggaion panegyric…. Emotional (sometimes frenzied) elaborate praise!!!!

Shiggaion
(sshihg gay’ ahn) Transliteration of a Hebrew technical term used in psalm titles (Psalm 7:1; Habakkuk 3:1 ). Suggested translations include, “frenzied” or “emotional.” Some think the basic meaning is “to wander” in reference to a wandering style of thought or melody or to the unconnected expressions of a lament.

Habakkuk’s Prayer
( For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.)
3 A prayer of Habakkuk the prophet. On shigionoth.
2 Lord, I have heard of your fame;
I stand in awe of your deeds, Lord.
Repeat them in our day,
in our time make them known;
in wrath remember mercy.
3 God came from Teman,
the Holy One from Mount Paran.
His glory covered the heavens
and his praise filled the earth.
4 His splendor was like the sunrise;
rays flashed from his hand,
where his power was hidden.
5 Plague went before him;
pestilence followed his steps.
6 He stood, and shook the earth;
he looked, and made the nations tremble.
The ancient mountains crumbled
and the age-old hills collapsed—
but he marches on forever.
7 I saw the tents of Cushan in distress,
the dwellings of Midian in anguish.
8 Were you angry with the rivers, Lord?
Was your wrath against the streams?
Did you rage against the sea
when you rode your horses
and your chariots to victory?
9 You uncovered your bow,
you called for many arrows.
You split the earth with rivers;
10 the mountains saw you and writhed.
Torrents of water swept by;
the deep roared
and lifted its waves on high.
11 Sun and moon stood still in the heavens
at the glint of your flying arrows,
at the lightning of your flashing spear.
12 In wrath you strode through the earth
and in anger you threshed the nations.
13 You came out to deliver your people,
to save your anointed one.
You crushed the leader of the land of wickedness,
you stripped him from head to foot.
14 With his own spear you pierced his head
when his warriors stormed out to scatter us,
gloating as though about to devour
the wretched who were in hiding.
15 You trampled the sea with your horses,
churning the great waters.
16 I heard and my heart pounded,
my lips quivered at the sound;
decay crept into my bones,
and my legs trembled.
Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity
to come on the nation invading us.
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.

 

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So much blessing to talk about from a Sunday from 8am to 8pm… spent in and with church – absorbing much from being afforded the time to watch how others were moving Jesus out into the community… I won’t and can’t write it all – and luckily I was able to process so much (blessings and heartaches) in taking in community with others – that I don’t feel obligated to process it all by writing – but I want to touch on two aspects of the day – especially since a 4:30 am wake up call is affording me this occasion to sit and reflect:

Communion and Community, 08JUN
Breaking Bread – not just about the bread – but who you break it with… the aspect of community with communion is of paramount importance… I went to a nursing home for monthly communion and scripture service – I come in late (of course) and attach myself to a lovely woman in a lovely flower capped hat. Her smile and beautiful red lipstick and sunglasses made her smile bounce – she said she had no idea what the gathering was and I said – “oh, it’s for communion” – she was pleased to be in communion and community…. she was next to a woman with a permanent smile affixed to her face – yes, permanently smiling – a nice state to be in…

I didn’t have to do anything for the service so I was allowed to float (as a child I visited my Grandma in the nursing home every other day for ten years – I know the situation – I know the pain and hardships- even if the surroundings are nicer – the situation is the same – and as a child you are there to bring life backing into the often grim existence) – so next I moved back to a couple of others who were just happy to see us – and I especially kept pointing out my cute but shy kids up front who were responsible for helping their Dad and counting and setting up the communion elements… and then I settled down next to a woman with the prettiest blue eyes and smile… she grabbed my hand and shook it in love and excitement – her dementia was bad but she kept calling out to her husband “Tony, Tony” – across the table – she shook my arm in excitement every few minutes – told him I was doing a good job – and although I was a bit sore staying on my knees, I didn’t leave – this was communion and community – I helped her with the elements – pleased to be placed in this moment of time to be the helper – to me these folks were the good elderly Italian fellow parishioners at my parochial school as a child – this woman was like one of those hard working ladies at the school carnival calling you to get “Pizza Fritta – get ’em while their hot!”… a touch of the best memories of growing up in my blend of Irish/Polish/Italian community. “Tony, Tony” was very pleased at our attendance and told me about his Italian mother,m named Isabelle, same as his niece – they used to call his mom “sa belle” – for beautiful – yup – beautiful girl – beautiful communion – beautiful community…

This monthly communion service pulled from devotional scriptures – spoke of hymns that speak to us and are we really singing them truthfully? – believing in the words – or are we just running thru the words?… well, yeah – lyrics are my muse for writing often – and now for listening to God, always…to listen to how the words touch your heart – the tunes you carry with you – the words you live…. Although not all could read all the devotions in the bulletin, the whole room reverberated with the recitation of the Lord’s Prayer. See, that prayer seemed to be not JUST rote running thru the words for these people – that is etched on their hearts – it may become rote in some peoples lives – even taking of communion may be rote to some – but in that place and time, with those people, it was in community and that’s what mattered – that’s what amplified the walk with Jesus – to be sitting at His feet whether words were exchanged or just smiles… To be in communion with God is to be in community – to kneel at the feet of the weak and soak up and amplify their joys – it was real in that time and place. It takes such little effort to just “be there” – it takes time, yes – especially when your heart tugs at you for wanting to spend more time with them – when you are supposed to be in ten other places – but it gives back ten-fold of blessings to them from a slice of your time… you may just get to blow in out of your whirlwind life for a short time – and certainly it is VERY difficult for many to visit nursing homes – but to sit and absorb and smile and be in community for the briefest time – well, the smiles that come back to you are ten-fold…. community with communion – “sa – belle” – so beautiful….

Later I sat in community at a pool party with beautiful young vibrant Christians – being in community – and breaking not the actual communion elements – but a whole host of common party foods…. the community was there – the breaking bread was there – the relaxing and processing of life’s twists and turns was there – Jesus was there for sure – appreciating, sitting and relaxing – absorbing the Spirit – reflecting on a good day – community with common purpose – communion – “sa belle” – so beautiful…

 

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07JUN

Facing the Giants – Prepare for Rain Scene
https://youtu.be/WAxwS8KyMQQ

I don’t care if the story about preparing the fields is just a story…. It still has a good message….. Those who have ears may them hear… It’s in my first released writing, Christmas Flood, Dec17, for a good reason…. It’s something I truly believe…. Prepare your fields… Once I prepared my fields, the rain came in droves, and I made rain barrels to save the rain for a whole year of Christmas… and to share with those in their own droughts…. And if I get low on rain, I know where to get more….

And that quoted scripture is not just for one city, but multiple like Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love… And for everyone….

Sorry, I don’t know if God likes that movie quote or not …. either way I am putting it out there… Either way I listened… The door no one could shut was opened and when I realized it was time then I walked (I mean Subaru-ed) though it!

—————–
Revelation 3:7
To the Church in Philadelphia
7 “To the angel of the church in Philadelphia write:

These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. 8 I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. 9 I will make those who are of the synagogue of Satan, who claim to be Jews though they are not, but are liars—I will make them come and fall down at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you. 10 Since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come on the whole world to test the inhabitants of the earth.

11 I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown. 12 The one who is victorious I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will they leave it. I will write on them the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on them my new name. 13 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

178
07JUN
Never used to find this such relief, but now…Yeah…. Faith release…. Just like yesterday my neighbor was so happy to see my cross around my neck, the special one my special cousin made for me as a Christmas gift and I first wore on Easter… She was happy and I asked her about her cross necklace – she was happy to tell me that her mom brought it for her from their homeland… And then I showed her a photo of the one my family in Europe gave me… We both have “Joy in the Lord!”

A little while later I saw this sign at the house where my son went for a sleepover… I pointed it out that I liked it, liked the scripture, and said she didn’t realize it had a scripture on the bottom of it. Hmmm… Interesting… bet she will now…hmmmm….

Here’s the piece I wrote…

Faith release, 07 JUN
I LOVE IT when I walk onto a house and I see a wall hanging like this… and it frees you up to speak more deeply about your faith…. it’s not that you can’t do that with everyone you come across, but it’s like a relief valve to bubble over that the “JOY in the Lord is my strength ” conversation with a fellow open faith sharer… Sometimes you show your faith in your acts, sometimes you show your faith in your words, and sometimes you get to dissect and tease apart your faith with those whom you are blessed to know are right alongside – next to you, – walking too….

177

Yeah, I am trying to finish up another one of the four pieces that flooded me last Sunday, was 80% done… I am not sure this one is 100% done now, but it’s about the future, so it will have follow up verses, obviously, someday…. anyway none of us are done in our journeys… Keep moving, keep Vine-ing

When I googled the moody blues line “darker days draw near”  from the song “Forever Autumn”… I came up instead with a poetry book by Hilda Doolittle, a poem where two pages earlier on page 60 it talks about the Pleiades, yeah, the Vine is fine, keeping me aligned…. Sigh…. Here is the “finished” essay…

Bernadette….What’s the future?, 31MAY

It’s so true that everyone is different, everyone is on their own journey, we should not look to those like us for our future, we need to ask God for HIS guidance… He will light the path, so keep looking for the light…. If it’s dark, reach for the Vine and hold on…. You can feel for Jesus’s guidance even when it’s dark.

My confirmation namesake, Bernadette, has a vision in the grotto in Lourdes. She accepts her path, her uncertain future, she says “I don’t need a little corner to hide in”… But accepting her fate at that time was still so dependent on what others expected of her in that day and age (1800s). At least in the movie version (Song of Bernadette) this meant the acceptance of giving up her normal home life, her possibly normal future and potential husband… She enters a convent, where she eventually is diagnosed and suffers and then dies early from a terrible disease…. “the lady said ‘I cannot promise you happiness in this world, only the next’ “… Well, she bore the burden and pain of it all so bravely

So, I am not Bernadette Soubirous (although I do drive a Suburu), but I have truly felt the HOLY SPIRIT blowing me and others, yeah that is most definite. But I am no miracle-worker, I have not seen an actual miracle physical vision of God or Jesus or “the immaculate conception” or caused a healing grotto spring to miraculously appear like Bernadette…. In contrast, I get to see God in everyday life….

And this is why I am less scared to give up my mind and life to the will of God… Because I DON’T believe God wants to take away our normal lives. I don’t have to enter a convent, don’t have to stifle and be quiet about the pain in my life. These “times are a changing”, as Bob Dylan would sing. Giving it up to God means you get a “new normal”…. Sure, if you are like me, you will find God wills you to change to move in directions you didn’t intend… Always for his greater good… Making me more fruitful… But what’s normally good in life – if it already glorifies God – well you’re probably going be able to keep doing it …. “Everything good in moderation” became “Everything God in everything”… That’s a new normal you can probably accept..

I am accepting that and I have been blessed greatly, and please realize that I know I am not alone… Yes what I’ve seen so far in this new Christ-Vined-God-Centered life of mine is amazing!!! …. but guess what? It’s so NOT out if the ordinary… I am not special above others because we are ALL special… We all get to share in this joy if we learn to tap into the true source.

The everyday miracles – they are thoughtful gestures that God sends, everything from smiles to favorite memories that pop into your head out of the blue… On and on I could tell you about mine, but just know that when you prepare yourself to receive these blessings, God will not disappoint!

So, what’s the future, what’s my future?
Even vined, with a future that God holds in His hands, I am still scared… Well, I am confident God will give me the tools, the people, and the resources… for the unknown… possible a future travesty, perhaps not a travesty but heartache for sure… God is not taking away our normal lives, so life will still happen…

‘I cannot promise you happiness in this world, only the next’ “… Well, yes, prayerfully I will bear future burdens and pain with hope, face them bravely and Vinely… That’s why I will take the time now, while the light is shining, to joyfully strengthen my connection to the Vine, shore it up, and then keep it close, so I can find it by feel when “darker days draw near”…

“I don’t need a little corner to hide in”…That’s where Bernadette and I are the same… I should be and will be happy to show my Vine connection while there is LIGHT…and it shows as “plain as day”… new normal…

176
Affirmations, 05JUN

Sweet… my best friend just called me out of the blue, to say how much he loves me…. He has been the best of one of my best friends for nearly 25 years – we talk about EVERYTHING

speaking from the heart, he thought that of all the people he sees and hears that I was always (for the whole time we have known each other) the person who epitomizes God the most… because of my friendliness, good nature, helpfulness…. sigh – this brought tears to my eyes...

love the love… love the affirmations…. Sweet…

175
Box of Secrets NO MORE! 05JUN

Came across my box of secret letters, the first twenty emails/writings crucial to the start of my awakening… Thoughts dumped to free up room for new thoughts… Random access memory (RAM) processed A LOT in those first twenty pieces….hidden in my car… but they are hidden NO more…. I am NOT embarrassed anymore, as to where I was… But I am instead appreciative of the HOLY SPIRIT blowing the flame my way, and lighting the birthday candle on Jesus’s birth within me.

The first twenty writings… The first one is gone from the box, still on my computer, but shredded from the box, given up and away… It was five pages of diatribe, where I was… No use for it now, it doesn’t apply except for a gawk-type look… Not negated, not disproved thoughts, but just not needed in the box!

174
Continue, 05JUN
Yeah – well – of course I came across a fitting poem and fitting peanuts pix… just after a text conversation this morning with Pastor about humbly falling at His feet for guidance in being able to know ourselves, so that we can help others…

The poem titled “Continue” came via my favorite poet Maya Angelo’s Facebook page – “Continue To dare to love deeply And risk everything For the good thing”

Yeah- so true –

When I Googled for the whole poem, I found this Christmas advent devotional writing from this church pastor: http://www.stpaulsfay.org/id437.html Yeah – it’s Christmas all year this year for me – and i was even listening to some christmas music from Sting this morning –

It all fits together – God blesses me so much with guidance… yeah… yeah… yeah…

Here is the whole poem

“Continue”
Maya Angelo

My wish for you
Is that you continue

Continue

To be who and how you are
To astonish a mean world
With your acts of kindness

Continue

To allow humor to lighten the burden
Of your tender heart

Continue

In a society dark with cruelty
To let the people hear the grandeur
Of God in the peals of your laughter

Continue

To let your eloquence
Elevate the people to heights
They had only imagined

Continue

To remind the people that
Each is as good as the other
And the no one is beneath
Nor above you

Continue

To remember your own young years
And look with favor upon the lost
And the least and the lonely

Continue

To put the mantel of your protection
Around the bodies of
The young and defenseless

Continue

To take the hand of the despised
And diseased and walk proudly with them
In the high street
Some might see you and
Be encouraged to do likewise

Continue

To plant a public kiss of concern
On the cheek of the sick
And the aged and infirm
And count that as a
Natural action to be expected

Continue

To let gratitude be the pillow
Upon which you kneel to
Say your nightly prayer
And let faith be the bridge
You build to overcome evil
And welcome good

Continue

To ignore no vision
Which comes to enlarge your range
And increase your spirit

Continue

To dare to love deeply
And risk everything
For the good thing

Continue

To float
Happily in the sea of infinite substance
Which set aside riches for you
Before you had a name

Continue

And by doing so
You and your work
Will be able to continue
Eternally

173
Love your Brothers and Sisters, 04JUN
The rarest of Subaru Forester colors today – five of them – from egg shell off white – to mauve – to the coolest light brown color… I have never seen these 5 colors before on Foresters. I know it sounds silly to be watching Subaru Forester colors, but it reminds me that God is everywhere, but that God IS responsible for us to be able to see everything with our own eyes and feel with our own outlook on life…That’s the God within! When our own minds are focused and our own hearts are open to the amazing world we feel God’s touch everywhere! That’s the God within!

Share the Love – Share the God within!

And for some reason I felt that this is related to the duplicate scripture I heard today: 1st John chapter four verse 20-21, about loving your brother and sister… that if you don’t love your brother and sister then you don’t love God… This doesn’t mean you have to condone/agree with everything else in the world and all the things that some of your brothers and sisters do, but you STILL have to love them… That’s what AGAPE LOVE is all about, right? Jesus hung out with all the sinners – and still LOVED them.

1st John 4: “20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.”

So this is a duplicate occurrence of scripture within the whole chapter, which I read early today and then showed up in a discussion about Christians shunning certain groups of people… That we shouldn’t judge/shun our brothers and sisters… same…

Earlier in that 1st John chapter: 4: “12 No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. 13 By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit.”

So, when we look to love God, we have to look everywhere, in the open, hidden under rocks, hidden inside people, places some may not want to look… Places some couldn’t even imagine could have God…. But He’s there… He’s everywhere… We have to abide in His LOVE to feel His LOVE.. We feel His LOVE, by sharing OUR love… By loving OUR brothers and sisters…And remember, they are also looking to share the love to us too… to you! Subaru – “Share the Love” – So show them the best in you! Show them all the colors of your life – show them God.

Share the Love!  Share the God within!

172
A Gentle Answer, 03Jun

Proverbs 15:1    “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Yep I think this scripture is 100% true and witness to that too because of an incident of terrible road rage…. I had someone in my blindspot driving and although I didn’t cause an accident, I incited some fierce road rage from a man who followed me, cut me off – screamed at me and even took a punch at me through my window….
People at work said I should have pulled out my phone take a picture of him take a picture of the license plate, others said I should have been packing heat to protect myself…. but all I said in the moment was “I’m sorry I’m so sorry” … it was all I could say too – I felt no need to incite more rage – and there was also a gun-owners club bumper sticker on his car – yeah – I locked the door and prayed…

So gentle words probably did turn away the wrath… Gentle words, God and a strong Subaru window… 🙂

Turn the other cheek – or in my case – the other Subaru window…

171
Forgive My Words, 01JUN
Twice this weekend I think I hurt the feelings of some people with my use of the term “Recovering Catholic”. It’s a good term, but only in the right context… it truly means that I have had to shed my shackling thoughts that were shoved down my throat as a child about Catholic being “the only way”… I have to regroup… and to start again as Christ-centered, not religion-centered…. I am what I am because of the good in the world and what I have seen corrupt in the world, but regardless, I need to be better. I need to strive for what God wants me to be and how HE wants me to encourage, always…

We discuss all the time that religions and churches need to teach how to mirror Christ’s LOVE – to VINE towards that LOVE… I do have hope that God is pushing the church in the right direction of being ONE with God… It may take a while… But the JOY we share is in the HOPE.

So with my use of the term “Recovering Catholic” to actual Catholics this past weekend, I realized it came off as a “put down”, which is terrible!!! I didn’t mean it that way… I will pray to choose my words better in the right context. One person was one of my neighbors while we were at Dunkin Donuts and one man I was joking with at a yard sale… He faked funny tears and said “it’s not my fault, I was raised that way” I laughed, he laughed, but hmmm….. he is right-on… being Catholic is tough these days. The people in all religions, whom we should encourage in their spirituality, are bearing the brunt of the negativity. Not only is the world down on religion but the world is down on Catholicism more and more recently because of past grievances, cover-ups, and abuse of power. And especially us Christians have to remember that although we are right to challenge the injustices we see, we must only criticize the organizations and NOT the spirit of other folks working on their Christianity too.

One global united church is needed, is what Christ wanted, but how we get there is not nitpicking and tearing down the people in the religions, but instead lifting then up higher above their religions….and spread understanding to others and especially to ourselves that there are many rooms in God’s house, we need to HELP everyone find the Jesus key that fits their life…lift up their branches and vine towards God (John 14 and 15)

I ask forgiveness for my words, to think thru my thoughts, and to encourage always…

John 17:  Jesus Prays for All Believers

170
Seven – 31MAY

I love my little “seven” he has grown so well…I can’t wait to see him in full resurrected glory….Sigh….caterpillars to butterflies always symbol of Christ and rebirth… But also the most fun to watch…. We did this all the time as kids with monarch caterpillars at my grandparents farm…

Also like those confirmation kids today, they are in their butterfly chrysalis stage too, I can’t wait to see how they all come out…

169
Christmas Present, 29MAY

This year, ever since my spiritual awakening started with the Christmas season, I have taken even MORE time for myself to think about my spiritual growth… Think it all out… I sit and think… I work and think… and I write to process… I have tons to do, but no, I sit still and think more than ever… hmmm… I do get some of my life busyness in too, because when God took my brain, He blessedly lends it back to me to get work done when I beg hard enough…

I am sure if I keep my focus right on God and focus on the gifts handed me everyday, that I will be fine…. I pray for discernment always…. a few extra hours in the day would be nice too – but God already moved a mountain for me – I don’t expect him to move the clocks as well – just because I have so much I WANT to get done!

It’s HIS will, not ours…yeah… God wants the best for me, yes, but why did God take over my mind so much to achieve that? What’s the plan? I know, I know, the plan is not mine to know….Yet where is my discernment between God thoughts and my thoughts?….where is my God-stillness?… Because You are cranking thoughts thru my head, God, I would have to say that You Yourself are NOT still… God swirls in my head, I am getting used to it, I am just trying to keep up!!! But yes, God, apparently YOU have a plan, so go ahead… fill my mind… Ask me and I will follow… “This ship is ready to sail, so to speak…”

Anyway, I have to say that I feel blessed that this year God apparently picked me to be the “Ghost of Christmas Present”…. all year… Yup even now in early summer… It’s probably because I was not 100% in the birth of Jesus last Christmas…. so now that I am, it’s Christmas all year this year! In “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens – we see the ghost of Christmas Present with jovial larger than life bursting Christmas joy. He says “Look at me, you have never seen the like of me before!” Yes that is so true for me… I am very unique….always have been… but aren’t we all? I used to want to fade into the background when I was growing up, but not anymore… Christmas Present, I am here now and I love to stir up the mix, lend elbow grease to situations, pour water on stick in the mud people like Ebenezer Scrooges, encourage people already light years ahead of me, by trying to make difference and show my strength by my enthusiasm and my smile. I always did. I always will. I do appreciate this hand that God has dealt me.

But the MOST important aspect to me being this unique ghost of Christmas Present is that I get to SEE JESUS in people everyday! Because, I now know and appreciate what Jesus-like qualities are, I get to look for them everyday in ordinary people! Yes, even go out looking for Him wherever I am. And yes, who knows, maybe I will take a couple of those Ebeneezer Scrooges along for the rides off their life…

Perhaps my spirited life-look with this intensity will change based on the season’s of my life, the tragedies I know I must face in the future. I still FEEL young in spirit years…. Who knows… only God knows! In the meantime, I’ll just keep being Christmas Present today… not Ghost of Past, not Ghost of Future… Just be Christmas Present... Yes, that’s the eternal Christmas present to myself…. Actually, that’s God’s eternal Christ-present to me… to all of us!!! That’s why God took over my mind, told me to look for Jesus and to follow Jesus….eyes and ears open.

Merry Christmas!
Jesus came, Jesus is coming, Jesus is here – right now.
Going to go look for HIM today and everyday.
Amen

168
“But a Day to Live”, 30MAY
I love this little “Windows to God” book I found in the church closet, good God tidbits….. This one about living like it was your last day on Earth….. I pray to live more like this…..
but I hope it’s not my last day today, I want to sneak in a couple of yard sales today, lol…. 
I just now got a text message to go over to a friend’s yard sale, go figure…. God loves yard sales too… Reusing and re-teaching Jesus’s life stories, God is good!

167
Bull, 29MAY
LOL, just the other day I called myself “A bull in a China shop”…. The rapid awareness of full Christianity, 0-60 in seconds flat…

So I laughed (outloud) when I saw this quote this morning:
“Jesus is the original “bull in a china shop.” Is Jesus nice? Yes, of course, but when He is, He’s scandalously nice. He’s nice to all the wrong people, and He’s offensive to all the wrong people.”
— Rick Lawrence

So yesterday someone asked me what they should do for a birthday for a not so popular person… She thought to herself “I will ask Debbie”… I said just be nice… This person was relieved…. She felt the guilt because the rest of her folks were just being resentful towards that person… I said: “Why not just be nice? Just be nice”… I reminded her that one should always “take high road”, and if anything she would feel better about being nice to this person…

“Is Jesus nice? Yes, of course…. ”

Is Jesus a bull in a china shop?

Yes.  I can hear His crashes still, 2000 years later…. Loud and clear!

Scandalously nice. Nice to the wrong people. Offensive to the wrong people. Real.

 

 

164
A Glittery God, 27MAY

I united the sparkly lanyard I bought on our beach girls mini-retreat trip with the glittery cross my cousin gave me on my trip… I will keep them in my car for the blessed memories and blessed journeys… It sparkles in the Sun and we ALL sparkle in the Son, the biggest star of all!

How truly blessed I am to have a glittery life, amazing family and friends, and 100% a faithful and often glittery God…. Amen and thanks be to God for all of you. You glitter God to me endlessly!

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165
Diamond Day, 27MAY

Tom Petty is so important to me (I remember vividly being in such tears and broken down state sitting in the car at a pizza place one evening, about twenty years ago, and listening to “Walls” over and over… I would say that the song gave me strength, and I pulled myself out of the worst down state…. So with the seriously amazing counselling of both my friends and going to my old church where the sermons touched my heart and brought me to tears) all those things brought me back up…. And how things improved from there…. Whew…. And I never looked back but kept building and building…

It IS nice to not look backwards but to reflect on how I awakened…. God must have made me write these for a reason… “Supernatural Radio” – I had always enjoyed the song but it never spoke to me like it did when I was awakening… Thanks Tom Petty!

The same cords as Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin” are used in ‘Only LOVE……. Only they LOVE of MY Jesus…’ Wow I couldn’t have said that a mere five months ago, but it warms my heart so now… I can’t wait until this Christmas, it will be my first REAL Christmas, oh my how awesome is that!!!!!

Today was one of those diamond days.

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166
Praise God for putting my head on straight – and then working on the rest of me! 28MAY

Happy to go to doctors today, Doctor was thrilled, 26lbs lost from six months ago! And still losing. Blood work is awesome!!!

I so have to praise God for giving me focus on health eating and exercise, taking away/identifying the stress eating, making it easy (really) to knock out the carbs and junk and giving me something else to hunger for!!!! Amen!!!!

163

Moving Mountains? What’s the Limit? 24MAY

I wonder. I wonder many things but I wonder why I wonder if God puts limits on the number of mountains he will move for you – probably not – but it’s a valid question…

I wonder if collective prayers work better than single prayers – and I wonder why sometimes we get caught up in praying for OUR will, and instead pray for GOD’S will…  even Jesus had to admit that his future was up to God –  Matt 26:39 “But do what YOU want, not what I want.”…

So, “Everything is possible if you believe”  my new bumper sticker says… “Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Mark 19:26

An unusual occurrence for me this past Sunday,  and I wondered about the limit of moving mountains because someone visiting our church was asking everyone to pray for a very unusual occurrence…  Hmmm…  she really asked and asked for prayers – was probably there for at least an hour… moving person to person… she kept asking and asking….

I had genuine concern – but also I couldn’t help but wonder about my own motivation as I assessed the situation and my time schedule…  My brain was balancing her concerns and my concerns about how do I deal with this situation.  In this instance I could have easily said: “I got to run” but that was not what my responsibility was at that moment …it was a REAL request for help in the form of prayer… I was mixed on what to do but I decided to stay and rally the troops for a big prayer…   Were my prayers directed ok?  Were they on target or confused since I was still thinking about my time crunch?  Was God going to get mixed messages from me? or were my mixed prayers (some for her, some for us, some for me) enough? that sounds terrible to say – of course ALL prayers are what God listens to…and He knew my motivations while I was mixed up in my own head…

But that’s the crux of the issue…  are prayers enough?… We might say it but do we REALLY believe that ALL things are possible?  All those gathered there are dear friends of mine and have been crucial in my own faith journey – one afterwords sent me this scripture from Mark 11: 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours…”  This scripture and this unusual situation brings up an age old question: Do I truly believe – in a specific manner –  that God can move the mountains in HER life which were really unknown to me – but seemed insurmountable at that moment – Would this be possible from JUST from my belief? Why would I doubt? Did I spoil the whole cart with my doubt? I will never know.

People say that God answers all prayers and sometimes he says “No” – so that seems a valid thought… Normal questions are like “what’s your plan God? why now?  why is this person/situation in my path today? why do I get to choose to either ignore the situation or pay attention to it?”  What am I supposed to do when I have hundreds of these requests filling my plate?  This was actually the second person who asked me that day to ask to pray for them… and the first time I had to acknowledge, pray quickly and move on because I was running late…. hmmm….

So – how many mountains can you move for me, God?  is there a limit per day?   she asked me to pray for her everyday, do I roll her prayer up with everyone else I pray for – a big group prayer???…

God knows better than I do where to draw the line…  praying to God for discernment has been my prayer throughout time…  still praying that…

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Mark 11:22-24New International Version (NIV)

22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly[a] I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

162
24MAY Pentecost
Pastor R today was our guest preacher – and he spoke of the Holy Spirit being “the person-hood of the Holy Spirit’ – Here is my “sermon-report” kinda like a book report – I didn’t mean to take notes but when he said the Holy Spirit was not an “IT” I thought I should write down what the Holy Spirit was… cool….

After the service I shared with him and his wife that I was grateful for a training he shared approximately 10 years prior, of how to share communion during home visitations… that even after training I still did not feel ready to give communion… But fast forward and when the Holy Spirit got a hold of me, the Holy Spirit brought me up to speed. The Pastor was so pleased to hear that – and I was so very pleased to tell him, especially since of all days, it was Pentecost!

In the sermon (I took notes) he spoke of the 5 main events – Incarnation (Birth of Christ), Atonement (Crucifixion), Resurrection, Ascension, and Pentecost – and he reminded everyone that the Pentecost season is the longest season in the church calendar – (the sixth main event will be the 2nd coming).

Pastor spoke of the Holy Spirit not being “an IT” – but being a person of intellect and emotion, and WILL… the Holy Spirit acts not ONLY as a divine force but also as a person… that the Holy Spirit, just like people, can be blasphemed, grieved, etc…. that the Holy Spirit is also divine and has the attributes of God – eternal, all powerful, everywhere, all knowing, present at work, home, everywhere…

He said “The Holy Spirit moves us – convicts and convinces us that Jesus is the Way the Truth and the Life. the Holy Spirit primary purpose is to build the faith in you – we are called to believe. The Holy Spirit keeps life from truly becoming “Hell on Earth”. We need to put on the full armor of God everyday… Evil is really pulling so many people away from God these days. God dwells in us – we should be more careful about how we live our lives and take care of ourselves and the God within us. Although Pentecost will not come again, just like Christ’s Death and Resurrection were one time events, we should expect the “blessings of Pentecost” to continually happen – we are to be filled with Holy Spirit forever…”

John 14 – Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit

15 “If you love me, keep my commands. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—

 

161

Joni and friends blog, 23MAY
Thanks to a friend for the below blog, I have these hints of heaven, so awesome…. My heart feels so warm right now!!!! And awesome, after a parade, just got a blue flower, not a poppy, but a blue forget-me-not, which is my favorite flower!!! We are now on an outing as a family!! Yay! That really warms my heart!!!

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here’s the “Joni and friends” blog forwarded from a friend “You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Psalm 16:11

‘Will heaven’s ecstasy go on forever? Is it true we will never become bored? Will it really be as glorious as the Bible insists? God sprinkles hints of heaven on earth to give us an inkling–just a small glimpse–of how pleasurable heaven will be. I catch hints of heaven in magnificent sunsets that leave me breathless. I hear it in the haunting strains of Dvorak’s New World Symphony. I recognize it in the soft gaze of someone I love. I smell it in the ocean air when dark, gray clouds brew in the distance. If these are mere glimpses and hints of heaven, what will the real thing be like?

C. S. Lewis wrote, “The faint, far-off results of those energies which God’s creative rapture implanted in matter when he made the worlds, are what we now call physical pleasures; and even thus filtered, they are too much for our present management. What would it be to taste at the fountain-head that stream of which even these lower reaches prove so intoxicating? Yet that, I believe, is what lies before us [in heaven]. The whole man is to drink joy from the fountain of joy. In the light of our depraved appetites we cannot imagine this.”[1]

Every beautiful sunset, breathtaking symphony, or exhilarating taste of salt air at the ocean is not merely for your present inspiration. It is a God-sent gift to whet your appetite for your true home in heaven. Earthly pleasures never quite satisfy; God wants you to sing “This world is not my home; I’m just a-passin’ through.” In heaven we will keep getting smarter, wiser, younger, and happier. The unfolding of the story of redemption will have us taking one gasp after another, with our joy and amazement ever-increasing.

Oh God, open my eyes and heart that I might recognize “heaven” here on earth!

[1] C. S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1949), 14.

Blessings,

Joni and Friends

 

160
Romans, Yup Yup Yup, 23MAY and 
Complaining, 22MAY (email chain start at bottom)

Yup, bible gateway verse of the day today is Romans 2…. About passing judgment, perfect duplicate verse this week (yes there were five duplicates this week too, sigh…) to drive the point home about complaining… I am so grateful for frank honest discussions with a handful of friends, like the one below, with a little humor thrown in…. (see bottom email)

But trusting God, I know that verse “that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance” is the truth, God blessed me (big time) to helps me repent… I take notice… I evaluate why I have the thoughts I do… I praise before the rocks call out… I look to God to repent big or small while I praise…

Last night thinking over these things, I saw a beautiful shooting star, I am not surprised, I had been looking to the heavens for quite a while last night and forever… I believe that if you look for God’s signs long enough, you will see them in multitudes… And I believe I won’t need to count the duplicate verses anymore (notice them but not count), because I look to God’s Word constantly. I believe that if you look for God’s signs long enough, you will see them in multitudes.. Yup yup yup……AMEN AMEN AMEN
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Romans 2 New International Version – UK (NIVUK)
God’s righteous judgment
2 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. 2 Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. 3 So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? 4 Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realising that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?

5 But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. 6 God ‘will repay each person according to what they have done.’[a] 7 To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honour and immortality, he will give eternal life. 8 But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. 9 There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; 10 but glory, honour and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. 11 For God does not show favouritism.

12 All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. 13 For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. 14 (Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law. 15 They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them.) 16 This will take place on the day when God judges people’s secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares.

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email to a friend…
I like this set of verse… Both for advice of how to live, and also it’s so wonderful that Christ gave the gift of teachers… I am so blessed to learn, and to have teachings pour out from so many sources…. Thanks

Ephesians 4 New International Version – UK (NIVUK)

Unity and maturity in the body of Christ
4 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

7 But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. 8 This is why it says: ‘When he ascended on high, he took many captives and gave gifts to his people.’
9 (What does ‘he ascended’ mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? 10 He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) 11 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. 15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Instructions for Christian living
17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.

20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned 21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbour, for we are all members of one body. 26 ‘In your anger do not sin’[d]: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
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On May 22, debbie wrote:
>
> I love the honeymooners – 
> I always try not to complain for there are so many worse off…. My grandmother was in a nursing home for 10 years from a stroke and diabetes and leg amputation – I visited her every other day with my mom or my dad – he visited her everyday… she NEVER complained – EVER! he roommate was the loudest screamer – I don’t know how my grandmother did it…
>
> When I do complain it is out of wanting something better for that person or our situation – and sure, of needing more help for myself… I don’t know how to remedy past perceptions of my complaining… I wish I had found the right way to motivate instead of complain… I have to discern now what I level of happiness I am entitled to – and what I just have to let go of…. I hope my motivation is always or the improvement of the situation to bring glory to what God wants – to vocalize what I visualize… and yet

I can not change the perception that others have… either way I have to pray on it…
>
> thank you for listening… 
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> On Fri, May 22 xxxxxx wrote:
>>
>> I think it depends on what you’re complaining about & why you’re complaining kiddo. If you’re complaining about say a lack of effort by a colleague at work or by your kids that can help to motivate. If you’re complaining about everyday irritations such as traffic, an allergy attack, being sick, etc. just remember Jesus suffered through worse & He knows what human suffering is because He dealt with it too. Lately I’ve been experiencing pain/numbness. I can either complain which doesn’t help the situation, or I can take a muscle relaxer to help me sleep. If my boss complains because I didn’t do something the way he demonstrated I usually learn something useful. It’s the motivation for the complaining that can get us into trouble & disappoint God at times. The following Honeymooners skit demonstrates the worst kind of complaining on the part of the mother-in-law & it’s absolutely hilarious! Enjoy (& don’t complain!):https://youtu.be/92YQbNLnh_Q
>> 
>> 
>> ________________________________
>> From: debbie 
>> To: 
>> Sent: Friday, May 22, 
>> Subject: What does the Bible say? About complaining
>>
>> Well, I have two people telling me, in this last few days, that I have the right to complain about life things, I wonder what the bible says…..
>>
>> A pursuit of excellence or nitpicking????….take that log out of your own eye, don’t throw the first stone (those were more of the repeat verses this week…but they gets repeated alot lately anyway) hmmmm……
>>
>> Romans 12:2 ESV
>> Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
>>
>> Philippians 2:14-16 ESV
>> Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.

159 Autocorrect, Sin Trials, and Spring Pruning, 20MAY

I am so re-convicted almost everyday of complaining or doing something not in the right Christ-centered mode and then find myself in the exact wrong position I complained about!!!! You should have seen my terrible autocorrect to a former professor of mine and then on top of that – I pocket called him three times and send a gibberish text and even a photo – of a poinsettia (luckily not something else) – whew – God laughs at me – at least it was not to someone who would think less of me – this person already knows I am crazy… sometimes a friend says: “there goes Debbie trying to save the world again!”…

These thoughts are so fitting with last week’s conversation with my professor about not pointing out the sins in others first. That’s because I think this phase of my new Christianity is just that – I am being convicted on all the sins that I picked apart in other people – the sin of rushing – the sin of accusing people – the sin of a few other things I can’t mention in an email – none of them to a terrible level – but still I am being shown how painful they are to be burdened with… Like a cliff-note version of sin instead of the whole book and WOW, God is whipping through these lessons so fast on me – I can’t even imagine what next months lessons will be!!!! (But actually I think it is the Devil trying to grasp at straws and making a last ditch effort to see what he can catch me on… And when I just show him my Jesus card he retreats and he says “rats, foiled again.. “…

I really want to pause time and just sit down on a rock for a bit – I am so blessed that my friend sent this encouraging email today – and sent a visual youtube video today of the book of John – wow – it is awesome and I randomly picked a place in the three hour movie – and it was where Jesus went out into the desert to retreat himself – I am so in need of that – just retreat myself for a short time – (actually I want to catch up on work first – then retreat) – I think that being recent trials meant being pruned in the spring time – and that has been very painful compared to when I had been regrafted painlessly in the winter. These trials, although are not earth-shattering, are still painful…. and so that phrase “You did not choose me -but I chose you so that you would bear fruit – well – little snippets coming off me in this spring pruning is tough…but it will cause me to bear more fruit – I know this because I believe it….

Last week I was reminded the possibilities of “if you are hated – remember that I was hated first” – whew…. and I was reminded of my Bernadette confirmation name – in the movie the nun (who tends to Bernadette in the convent) is so harsh on her because she was never pained and because she was seemingly naive and had not been through enough teachings, enough endurance, enough pain, enough trials to be worthy in this nun’s eyes to claim to have seen a divine site – “That there is no promises of a good life in this world, only in the next one” – and the nun is ticked that Bernadette hasn’t seen this pain – and then a few months later she is noticed limping in prayer walking and although she has never complained, turns out she has this terrible diseased leg – and dies soon after – and the nun has been convicted of that statement – the nun totally believes – because Bernadette must have been so saintly to have endured that pain… and never complained…

So – where am I going with this thought? Well, I am not being pushed down into the depth of the great pain and suffering – but I am tasting a little of this and a little of that to get more appreciation of the pain/temptations/distractions of everyone else – enough but while still being able to be focused on Jesus and saying – “oh yeah – that happened because I said that” or “oh yeah – that happened because I did that” – well – painful springtime pruning ! Lord knows what kind of fruit is going to come out of this situation – but whew – God is good and in control…. overwhelming and I better stock up on those pen caps – because I am going to need them – going to be a stressful chewing time while I spin through these minI trials… maybe I need to match them up with the 7 deadly sins to see what score I have so far…and what is coming next….

 

158 God knows us… Christmas happens, 20May

I have always been a visual learner, God knows that and has blessed me greatly because of it….I remember the beauty, the symmetry and of course the colors of life.

I am also an emotional learner, God knows that and has blessed me greatly because of it. I will remember not all of the actual text in a conversation from years back, but the emotions in the room, who was sitting where, and the gist of the conversation and end result….

I am also a fast processor, my brain zips faster than my mouth… I have already made it to the end of a conversation before the other person had spoken it… Drives everyone crazy!!!

So of course, GOD just uses HIS knowledge of me to HIS advantage… the right time, the right people, the right places, the right visuals, the right emotion, everything right….. And that’s how he pulled me into being 100% with Jesus… I get it now, Jesus is 100% real to me… I see HIM and feel HIM.

I get to visualize HIM everyday because I look sideways to the people around me. Visually I look up, as well as around me, to see and praise God as a whole. The stars, our moon, the planets, our everything…

I get to feel HIM everyday because I reach sideways to the people around me. Emotionally I reach up, as well as around me, to feel and praise God as a whole. The smiles, our laughs, the tears, our everything.

ALL in ALL – God is God – and we get to tap into that unbelievable power when we put Jesus into our hearts our minds and our souls.

Today’s visual learning reminds me of emotional learning that causes people to become Christians – to give their lives over completely to God and His power. I have two poinsettias, one at work and one at home, they are still beautiful months after Christmas. They are both over 2 years old and they both turned red this year, but for different reasons. One sat peacefully in a windowsill on my desk and the changing seasonal light durations translated into physiological growth changes, inducing the mechanism to grow red leaves… It’s a response of phytochrome sensors reading the “red” to “far red” light wavelengths…

So you could say this poinsettias saw the light – and Christmas happened…

The other poinsettia was outside growing beautifully in the shade all summer. When it was time to bring it inside for the winter, one of the two plants together had root damage, and not long after that side recovered it started growing red leaves, while the non-stressed side remained growing green leaves…

This was not a photo induced changed ( both saw the same light) so you could say this poinsettia saw the stress – and Christmas happened…

So what does this mean when people become Christians?

It means some people SEE the LIGHT… visual learners… It happens when they realize God is in control… The visual clues are too difficult to ignore anymore… It changes them, and they call out and find peace and release in the powerful saving of Jesus … Christmas happens… Christ comes into them.

It means some people FEEL the STRESS…. emotional learners… It happens when they have to give God control… The stress is too difficult to ignore anymore… It changes them they call out and find peace and release in the powerful saving of Jesus… Christmas happens… Christ comes into them.

What kind of learner are you? probably a mixture of both… well God’s got the plan, has you figured out, knows what kind of teaching will help YOU learn that Jesus is the Way the Truth and the Life.

John 14:6-7
“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

Christmas happens….let it happen….listen and watch for God, everyday.

Amen

157

Article “spiritual not religious” re-building the church and Revisiting my Lego faith to Zipper faith’ transition, 19 May

“Whenever anyone asks you to speak of your hope,” the Bible reads, “be ready to defend it.” (1 Peter 3:15). “

This web article (see the link below) is freaky God, (LOL – I just wrote “really good”, but autocorrect made it “freaky God”…. So I just had to leave it…. That’s great!!!!)

Anyway, just like the conference Pastor and I attended, this article talks about spiritual but not religious people… And about the need too educate deeply in theology… And that is so true… If you don’t know the word, then how can you live it? And it is EXACTLY the same discussion for science… People are afraid of Frankenstein science, uneducated about the advancements, and scoff at basic research…. Just try to explain the similarities of genetically modified foods and plant breeding to someone and you will get challenged (but maybe some genuine interest, if you cultivate it)….

So, religious affiliations or not, the need to educate people is key… It’s the need for people who belong to something to get MORE educated… Only then can they begin the see that the churches are not trying to hold up smoke and mirrors… That there is meat in the bible lessons, that there are stories (lots of them) to be told… That when you LOVE the LORD long enough, he becomes more real than the velveteen rabbit.

The article states how bible education is key for churches to offer… And I would add that we need to find the deep, not often talked about stories, because there is some story for everyone to be touched by. It’s a foundation, as well as a set of building blocks… Legos, I wrote “Lego Christianity” on Dec 18, one of my earliest writings of where I acknowledged that my faith was in a changing phase… a change orchestrated by God, worked by the Holy Spirit, causing a little Christmas baby to grow in my soul, regraft me to the True Vine, thus enabling me to eventually reach my hand up for Jesus to raise me, like Jarius’ daughter, and to give me peace.

And that’s EXACTLY where my base education paid off, my base biblical education where I learned the bible stories for years and years IN religious school, church services, church meetings, teaching Sunday school, attending an awesome bible study class about the archeology of the Old Testament sites, and by reading the REAL word…

You see, now I describe my faith journey like a zipper, there was a peg not seated right I the middle where I wasn’t 100% with Jesus…. Once that peg was seated properly by patient nudging from God (see my Dec to Jan writings), the rest of the zipper was already intact and fairly smooth, because I knew and was educated for years on the BIBLE… And honestly it felt like that zipper was a big slide at the playground… And I know others have heard me squeal “Wheeeeee!!!!” As I quickly flew down the section of zipper I had already intact….. So much fun that I continually go back up for another ride…. If friction catches me, then it is a place to pause, catch up on a bible story and lesson I either didn’t know or most likely forgot, and a time to get the sandpaper out and smooth the rough spot on the slide for a better ride.

Trust me when I tell you that rereading the bible in a new 100% accepting Jesus mindset is like being a kid in a spiritual candy store… My hunger for food has truly been replaced by a hunger for scripture, for interpretations and pondering… “It’s the strangest thing” I find myself saying a lot, a fitting quote from a passage I read from a play about a girl raised from the dead….And that is the 100% truth, it is the strangest feeling to walk with Jesus everyday, every hour, every minute…. It’s the strangest thing to wonder if I will ever get used to this new life! My first Easter I walked into a dollar store and saw Jesus stickers and squeaked “oooh! I believe now…these stickers are for me too!!!!”. It’s the strangest feeling to have dropped two pant sizes (so far) from hunger-ing for the Lord instead of the stress eating…and having to actually remind myself to eat something… It’s the strangest feeling to feel and see God working inside of you, yeah that’s”freaky God” alright! And then to see the faces of those who see the change in me, to hear the words that I “exude the joy”… But it’s true, I think you can see the JOY all over my face….

It spills out…. I can’t help it…

God’s got some plan… He is busy lining up the players, getting them to go out of the building and build a new stronger church from the remnants of the old…rebuild Trust….

Trust God and go build the faith back up in those drifting. Trust God and go educate the masses. Trust God and stand up for faith so that they too can see the fruits of HIS labor….

Trust God, HE will most certainly support you, and keep your cup filled so that you can draw upon it daily…

Trust God’s plan.

It’s Freaky Awesome God! THANKS for stirring it up….

———————-

Here’s the article:

http://eecp.umc.org/…/lessons-for-church-from-the-spiritual…

“Whenever anyone asks you to speak of your hope,” the Bible reads, “be ready to defend it.” (1 Peter 3:15). “

 

156, email with my professor (read bottom up)

I love having a professor and a whole church family – wow, do they ever nourish me!!!
———————————————————————
To: Professor

Ahhh… How often everyone throws that first stone!!! Sometimes they take a giant bolder to roll over others – so big that they can hide behind it to prevent themselves from being seen, lest they get a stone tossed at them for their sins!

————————————————————————–
On Mon, May 18, Professor wrote:

Jesus puts such a big emphasis on examining and dealing with our OWN sins before pointing out the sins of others! So important.

————–Original Message—–

To: Professor

Subject: Romans 7 and Judas

This Romans scripture is such a key verse to match a conversation that I had about Judas – when Jesus said “it would be better if you were never born…”

– it is still up in the air whether people sin of their own doing and that makes it the most frustrating when you want to be mad as H-E-double toothpicks at someone and you just don’t know if they are really doing it against you or not – and of course I HATE the phrase “The Devil made me do it”- because this speaks to the fact that you certainly do have a choice to sin or not to sin and I pray that you choose to not sin… but in the case of Judas, it clearly states that “Satan entered into him” (John 13:27) – so yeah – Satan is real and tricky and working every angle…

154

Repeating scripture #1 this week

ah ha – another good example of repeating verse #1 for this week:
⁶² Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:61-62)

matches the web article that said “if we are yoked to Jesus and then let God do the plowing the lines will be straight – instead of worrying about us taking our plows every which way and that… “

this is the triple showing for this verse – last week a discussion about not looking back to your old life, a great discussion I had yesterday, and this blog post that showed up this morning…  it’s one of those weeks again – replicate scriptures – be on the look out!  IThere were 5 replicate scriptures last week – so cool!

 

155

Repeating scripture #2 this week – or is it #7 total between last week and this week?

Of course this could be number seven fun too… Seven is the number I received for my Facebook blog name for my writings… Five plus two for the five plus two repeat scriptures equals 7, my address numbers total 7. My parents address numbers also total 7. My father’s graveyard  pre-purchaed plot  is the same number as their house number – well… Today I named my caterpillar “seven” based on his shape… What other sevens I am not thinking of, hmmm….

Oh my…  my friend just now texted me Jeremiah 29:11, which I email discussed this morning with my other friend.  Oh, and my eyes filled with tears… Second repeat scripture for this week so far (after five repeat scriptures last week)….sigh… So blown away with God smiling on me, on us… Every day a blessing…. I wonder what else is coming this week…

Yesterday I told our sermonist friend about the five repeat scriptures last week, and he stopped to say his company is called “five” something (I didn’t catch the full name, and he pulled a five dollar bill out of his pocket that he found his dog eating that morning… And I said I lost a five dollar bill last week….just blew out of my hand…

Now God wouldn’t be pulling my leg would he? Well maybe…. Hmmm…

Peace… Enjoy God’s plans, I certainly am!
Tonight I have been pondering those plans….

I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU DECLARES THE LORD (JEREMIAH 29:11 NIV)

153

The Joy of Ministering, 18 May

LOL, God convicted me of my statement the other day about being able to sleep in now instead of early morning wake up calls to write…. Oh well…Thanks for writing on my heart God…even if it is back at 4AM

The Joy of Ministering, 18 May
I am so glad when I hear about small groups, because truly that is where faith discussions are the most meaningful… The potential for growth in ALL those folks is huge… To get them (all of them) to feel value :in their stories (I mean God’s stories) will translate into a higher spirit of praise in their lives and then perhaps they will feel comfortable to demonstrate how much the spirit has touched their hearts.   Now that is the wonderful position God had moved ministers/teachers/leaders into…. You get to minister and be fed by the spirit at the same time. Give praise for how much growth and contentment you see in your flocks.
ALL in ALL, everyone who reaches out are blessed to get to set up the cups inside the people, stop them from being so wobbly by supporting their cups with firm foundations, and then let the SPIRIT pour into them, not spilling a precious drop… Isn’t that the joy in the ministering life? Cool…. Good job everyone, keep up the good work…

Smiles, have a great day setting up those cups. God bless you. Thanks and praise always.

152

Pollyanna, 12-14May

I have been called Pollyanna, often…. I forget the hard times I remember the good times, I have no idea why. I just know that I have very little right to complain, especially with how much God has blessed me.

Last time I was called a Pollyanna…. My thought was “good for me, sorry you’re not one too”, “sorry for your downer attitude”… I have to say that I should pull back my Pollyanna now and be more pensive.

From 8th grade on, when I turned into an outward-facing person, I walked away from my shyness, left it behind, I have been an enthusiastic person ever since (annoying yes, sorry)… do I choose to show my dark places? no, I choose not to dwell there too long…. just like this book passage states (photos attached) from a book my Pastor gave me, the writer talks about a man who looks on the bright side even in tragedy. I know someone in real life who does this, he is an amazing 87yr old retired coach, a greeter at my children’s school….if I could be half as enlightened as he is at 87yrs of age, well that would be awesome….

I think that while I still am in my Samaritan woman “screaming through the streets” phase, my friends who truly know who I am, will just smile. They worry about me sure, but I believe they will understand until I settle down. So maybe people should get some earplugs… Let’s just say God figured out how to make my enthusiasm knob turn up to 11…. and plug it into the right channel.

I will figure it out…. Pollyanna or not, a friend of mine said: “at the bare minimum you have now found your spiritual voice.” – and for that I am truly grateful….

150, 15May

I had to laugh when I drove by the theatre company near my work and saw this sign…. I think I might have to go see this play…. “How to write a new book for the Bible”.

I wonder what that’s all about!

———————–

151

15May

Apparently we moved from duplicating scriptures to duplicated books today…
What’s duplicating for you these days?

ONE book I saw this morning and then a random book at the dollar store had the same author, sigh….
This second book about dealing with anger and  understanding people with anger issues. It’s a ready good read so far (and I don’t even like to read, lol)…. and it has a good chapter on forgiveness, which I know angry people have a hard time doing….

Well worth the dollar, especially this  week where someone’s old anger took me by surprise….good pensive read…turn the other cheek…

149

Email thank you to songwriter for “Come to the Cradle”

Thank you Michael Card!!
I am 100% Christian now, 100% with Jesus with your musical help.

Your song “Come to the Cradle – Come and Find PEACE” was instrumental (vocal too) in drawing me closer to Jesus. My church’s praise band played it during our christmas concert and then again during regular worship as an extra piece which our praise band leader, Anthony, wonderfully fit into your “The Promise” …  He added it special in a wonderful arrangement and I appreciate it – because listening to it as well as your version over and over again has been a comfort to me while God moved me from being about 50:50 with Jesus to 100% within the timeframe of mid December to Feb. It was a swift pruning and re-grafting of my spirit to the True Vine. 

There was no lightning strike, no miraculous life turn around – it was truly a simple but overwhelmingly powerful calling that God wanted to do some corrective action on my brain… and THANK GOD that Jesus was there to comfort me – to help me find peace in the form of a small baby…  

I felt compelled to resolve my questions and I actually reached out to our praise band leader NOT because of the song but because of his amazing touching guest sermons. He always said at the end of those four guest sermons, which I had on CD, ‘If you are having any questions – or if you have doubts – please come after the service and I will pray with you’. So one day I got over my embarrassment and I decided to take him up on that offer.

My Subaru had/has become my tabernacle and I listened to his sermons (and the music) in my car during my hour commute – since I never had a chance to actually get into the service as I was running around the church teaching sunday school, chasing after my kids etc…   I could always hear the praise band playing thru the walls of the church – it was always a great sound penetrating the rest of the church….  but I was convicted of not feeding myself spiritually (even though I am our women’s group president, the leader of our vacation bible school). Now I religiously get myself into contemporary praise service (even set an alarm to leave sunday school in time) because it means so much to me to re-feed myself some praise time with song…  and thankfully I can praise sing all week long in my long commutes.

I had to process this overwhelming time in my life by writing it out and I have written over 200 pages (both process and devotional praise) – not by choice – but by the need to say “OMG – I can’t believe what is happening to me!”  – and truly I know that “MY story” is not mine at all – it is God’s story, because He told me to give my life to HIM – He continues to move me in His sandbox he calls Earth –  and Lord knows where I am headed – but it is fun to ride along! I so look forward to next Christmas which will be my first 100% and hear that song played by our praise band again.

This overwhelming change that was occurring in me caused me to reach out to both former pastors and spiritual advisers and they were so awesome in coming alongside of me when they could see that I was building a new faith. And then when I was really really close to 100% ( I like to say I was 99.44% like ivory soap) I reached out to my own Pastor and wow – was he and I overwhelmed with joy! We are journeying together now – what a fruitful journey it will be!  I am no longer ashamed of where I was – I do question why this transformation didn’t take place before I was 45 yrs old – but only God knows… and I am praising that I get to tell my story both in person and in text…  

Anyway – please just know that your music was and is “Prevenient Grace” for me and of course for millions of people – it must have been God’s almighty hand guiding you to write and perform that song – I truly appreciate it! 

God Bless You!!! God Bless your amazing faith and skills!!

In 100% Jesus, I found the Prince of Peace…

Thank you,

Debbie  

148

Coincidences NOPE, 14MAY

What I wrote about God’s Winter Pruning (22APR) was the best example of no coincidence but God’s timing instead… I understand how God picked winter for my pruning and regrafting to the vine

I praise God’s timing BEFORE I was to jump into a busier church/VBS/life schedule this spring… and I praise God’s timing for having this happen when I was not in a crisis mode – I count my blessings for my health and that I still have my parents and my family – and I don’t want to predict the future but I know that my parents are not going to be around forever….  who knows I could get hit by a bus tomorrow…

And honestly, if nothing more, I praise God’s timing for getting my head straight while my kids are just entering the teenage phase – cause you know that that is going to be a WILD RIDE!!!!

and I question God’s timing, but I praise God’s strength that he gave me the ARMOR OF GOD which enabled me to survive (so far) this week where I had not one but 4 MAJOR relationship …these 4 people situations/events have been spinning my head like crazy his week and yet I was still able to get some work work done! – AMAZING TIMING!

and I praise God now for back to solid sleep-filled nights and no 3am wake up calls….  10 to 5:30 like clockwork, THANKS GOD!!!!!

147

Object Lesson, 14May

I am in constant thoughts with God… it’s the strangest thing but has given me such peace… an even peace thru ups and downs these last few months…

That peace was/is so powerful, and the song “come to the cradle, come and find peace” was instrumental in my journey… I listened to it probably 500 times… you know, as awesome as this past Easter was, being my first real Easter, next Christmas is going to be awesome too, since it will be my first one as a 100% believer in Jesus.

I had some stress this week, but I will think of it like big grit sandpaper, knocking off some of my dead branch parts…

Have a peace filled day.

146

Email with my Professor, 14MAY

Question to Professor, 7AM:

So, why did Elijah say “go back” to Elisha? Was he giving him permission to say “Goodbye” to his parents?

Why did he say “what have I done to you?”
Was be questioning Elisha’s faith????

The call of Elisha
19 So Elijah went from there and found Elisha son of Shaphat. He was ploughing with twelve yoke of oxen, and he himself was driving the twelfth pair. Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak around him. 20 Elisha then left his oxen and ran after Elijah. ‘Let me kiss my father and mother goodbye,’ he said, ‘and then I will come with you.’

‘Go back,’ Elijah replied. ‘What have I done to you?’

21 So Elisha left him and went back. He took his yoke of oxen and slaughtered them. He burned the ploughing equipment to cook the meat and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he set out to follow Elijah and became his servant.

——————–

On May 14, 8:53 PM, Professor wrote:

Yes. He was giving permission for Elijah to say goodbye. In ancient Israel, family ties were extremely important and it would have been disrespectful and dishonorable to the max for Elisha to just ditch his family without saying goodbye.

HOWEVER- Contrast this with a similar story in the gospels-

 

⁶¹ Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.”

⁶² Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:61-62)

Notice the resonances with the Elijah/Elisha passage you quoted- including the request of the disciple in each to say goodbye, and even the mention of the plow. But look how Jesus’ response to the same request is different from Elijah’s. Elijah permits Elisha to go say goodbye, Jesus does not. What kind of shift in priorities does that suggest to you?

 

——————-

Reply to Professor, 9pm:

Thanks,
It is consistent with the shift from a mere (but mighty) prophet to the actual son of God…. Elijah was of the old covanent, Jesus represents the new covanent. (And Jesus was on a tight time schedule too) plus Jesus preached for when he sent out the 72, that if you are welcomed into a home then stay with the people, if you are not welcomed then move on…. I guess you can try but keep moving if you dont succeed, and try again.

I believe this now, that Jesus is the son of God, not must another prophet…. and I bet if you truly believed that 2000 yrs ago (and apparently the ones who interacted with Jesus knew and believed the predictions from the prophets’ stories), then you probably would have dropped everything easily… probably a mixture of true believers, and some ambulance chasers mixed in….

I twisted my ankle and fell tonight, and I am ok, but as I laid there I  said “really God? What’s the blessing in this?” But in that few minutes laid out in the parking lot, I did have to praise God that I wasn’t really badly hurt, I fell well, especially since I have been working out so much and my ankle is strong, and no one saw me…. So when I got back into the car, I reread Psalm 121… knowing that I was paying attention to this cool car color, wanting to take a photo and not paying attention to my footing on the uneven payment…

So in extension, if I take my eyes off the Lord I will stumble too…(or sink like Peter)…. and if I keep looking back at the old life I had, I will not plow straight either….

I need to be grateful for this new life…. I AM grateful. Amen

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains –
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip –
he who watches over you will not slumber;

 

 

142

Email with Pastor – repeat scripture #2

Oh my….. oh how I prayed that verse yesterday and today!!!! I posted that verse to you last night in a message, set my phone down and realized it didn’t send so I reposted it this morning to you I can’t believe it…. well I can believe it and I think I must have gotten that scripture verse from a church email I just can’t put my finger on it right now

I so pray for the anguish caused by the strife. I’m sad to say it is just the latest version of centuries of strife. it just plain sucks….
“Dear Friends,

Please pray sincerely for the deliverance of the people of Northern Iraq from the terrible advancement of ISIS and its extreme Islamic goals for mass conversion or death for Christians across this region.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.Philippians 4:6”

———-

143

Email – repeat scripture #3

The other scripture that came up twice today was 2nd Peter: 5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Yup…. one of those days….

————–

144

Email – repeat scripture #4

OK – been a pensive few days…  now I have another scriptures which I ran into repeatedly from different places between last night and now – hmmm….  after the third time I saw this one (Matthew 5) I had to email…

let your light shine before others  and don’t put the light under the bushel basket – yeah… I am not putting any light of mine away….

15 No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lamp stand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.”   –Matthew 5:14-16 (NRSV)

You know – it is the random spots where God naturally comes up in conversation which make me smile – where I didn’t force the conversation – yeah…  this morning at the food pantry when I was dropping off stuff a lady down on her luck and I got to talk about her faith and mine – in front of about 10 people in line – very natural, not forced…

Yesterday morning I stopped to trash pick a shovel and plastic bin and had a good conversation about vacation bible school and how God sees things vs us – mountains into molehills with a gentleman who was a climber….

Yeah – organic and not flashy – nice….  and not under a bushel basket…..

———-

145

Email – repeat scripture #5

Well today’s duplicate scripture (after the four duplicated/triplicated ones earlier this week) is Psalm 121. I am not making this up.
I was thinking about that last night from the Sound of Music, when Mother Superior says it to Maria…. I googled the line, found the psalm and texted it to pj.  …..  then this morning that little devotion book, I found in the church closet, I opened to a page and there it was, seriously not making this up (photo attached)….. I guess a noble woman is supposed to hide scripture away in her heart, so forgive me for spilling the beans (there are just 6 of you on this email).

Of course I think it is cool that Maria says, ” when God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window….” this book is called “Window to God”, shhhh…. so cool…..
Thanks God, you are so cool!!!!

Psalm 121
A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains –
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip –
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord watches over you –
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all harm –
he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and for evermore.

141

email with a friend, Zipper Faith,12MAY

I appreciate our discussions, and those I have with Pastor, because we can discuss and I am not criticized for not knowing some bible stories…. because I did have many years (schooling and teaching) of bible learning, and I did take the stories to heart….always…. even if I was 50:50 on whether the bible writers stretched the truth (maybe Jesus was just a prophet with a good publicist) I still listened and believed in the messages of the stories… I never doubted God…. the life lessons were and are always valid.

I do see similarities between me and Peter, I know his stories the best, but I didn’t deny Jesus AFTER knowing him, I pray I don’t ever… I really don’t think I will… I trust God 100%, I even believed in the holy spirit 99.44% before this….now I am 100% on everything God…

My faith was kinda a zipper that is smooth at the beginning, had a peg out of place in the middle, but then was smooth again at the end…..why, I don’t know… but seeing the corruption of man had to be the reason in hindsight… and why I was awakened in the time frame I was?, I have no clue….  there is no reason why I should know that. It’s like when I found the perfect present for our sermonist friend, some crystal grapes, for his “I am the vine” sermon…. I couldn’t find a gift I wanted to give and decided to give it up to God and literally I just turned around and they were there! God picked that gift for me to give; all I got to do was pick out the colors….which is the fun part.

I try not to question God’s motives anymore, I appreciate when I get to do HIS work, I do question His timing, but God is used to my questions by now….

I was challenged recently with a questions if I felt I was “saved” before this awakening, and I don’t think in my situation that is a valid question…. Because the answer depends on the faith of the speaker and the questioner…..  I feel saved now, 100%, but did I feel left out before? No, of course not…. God had been talking good care of me…. I never doubted that forgiveness was the way to heaven… and did I ask Jesus for forgiveness when I finally believed in him? You better believe I did! You can’t ask for forgiveness of someone who doesn’t exist for you for real.. he is REAL to me now…. me is my lifeline, I believe in him 100%  and I was ready to fall in love with HIM instantly since that was the smooth part of that zipper… those pieces were already in place, and it was like a smooth ride after I got over the hump.

Thanks for letting me babble…

Have a great vine connected day….

140

Email with Pastor – repeat scripture #1

this was the first of seven scriptures which repeated two times within a day or two….  geez….

of course you I love that line:

“and when it snows……”

 

Psalm 31: The Wife of Noble Character

 

10 A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax

and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,

bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still night;

she provides food for her family

and portions for her female servants.

16 She considers a field and buys it;

out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;

her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,

and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff

and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor

and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;

she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,

where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,

and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many women do noble things,

but you surpass them all.”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

———————————————-

double geez when I read today’s Maya Angelo post (below):

“Fall gently, snowflakes   Cover me with white   Cold icy kisses and    Let me rest tonight.”

And in psalm31, the snow references and today guess what color I decided to put on?  purple – with purple earrings of purple grapes…  sigh….

 

Woman Work – Maya Angelo

The clothes to mend

The floor to mop

The food to shop

Then the chicken to fry

The baby to dry

I got company to feed

The garden to weed

I’ve got shirts to press

The tots to dress

The cane to be cut

I gotta clean up this hut

Then see about the sick

And the cotton to pick.

 

Shine on me, sunshine

Rain on me, rain

Fall softly, dewdrops

And cool my brow again.

 

Storm, blow me from here

With your fiercest wind

Let me float across the sky

‘Til I can rest again.

 

Fall gently, snowflakes

Cover me with white

Cold icy kisses and

Let me rest tonight.

 

Sun, rain, curving sky

Mountain, oceans, leaf and stone

Star shine, moon glow

You’re all that I can call my own.

139

My writing – My identity is not important, 11MAY

Two great sermons yesterday, I listened in the car, old ones from 5 yrs ago,  both giving me scripture which helped me with my pondering… I love it when a scripture finds me…  especially this one John 21:15-25…    the surmonist said it wasn’t our identity that was important, plus in life all we need to know is the fact that Jesus loves us and that’s ALL we need to know..  we are not here to be compared to other disciples…. Everyone will have their own path to discipleship which of course means their own way of processing.

Yup, John 21:25… so at least I realize from this pondering that the way to publish my awakening story will be anonymously… when I’m ready…. I will still tell others I meet, enthusiastically tell then that God changed me, others didn’t change me, but God himself took it upon himself to corrective action my faith… moved my faith mountain right in front of me and told me to climb…. no great fanfare, no devastating punch, no lightning…. God found the right tools (bible teachings, contemplative text, sermon recordings, music, drive time, social media, writing, and of course people), He told me it was time to get myself out of the way and believe…. He sliced and regrafted my connection to the vine, swift, gentle and precise….

When scripture finds me I take notice, and when I find me in Scripture I best to follow the advice… I knew the fish story, I knew Peter had to affirm three times, but had not heard that last verse before, about writing it all down….

Even though I didn’t want or mean to write my journey down, I did – I found that when I wrote I kept my mind open and my mouth shut – and I wrote to think – and I want to share it because it is true – I didn’t make it up – I was there – I guess I shared this story because I am like my confirmation name, Bernadette Soubirous, I just want people to believe me …  not look to me, not look up to me  – just believe me….  if I want to touch people out there, in the world, people I don’t know, who don’t know me, then of course my identity means nothing… they wouldn’t know me anyway.  Actually I want people to believe my story, not believe me, if it is truly a story worth telling, then it will stand on its own…

God is just setting me in his chess set in the right position now… I am not the queen , the jester likely…And the jester doesn’t even get a square, the jester is free to hop on and off the board… to go where no other can go… this totally NOT about me…. it is about how I can make a difference in my own (?) special way… NO, in God’s special way….

Sigh… Thanks Jesus and beloved disciple for the pep talk. 😉 I am listening.

John 21:24 This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who wrote them down. We know that his testimony is true.   25 Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

———————

Jesus Reinstates Peter (from John 21)

15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. 18 Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”19 Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”

20 Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) 21 When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”

22 Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” 23 Because of this, the rumor spread among the believers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; he only said, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?”

24 This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who wrote them down. We know that his testimony is true.

25 Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

THE BEATLES

“All You Need Is Love”

Love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love, love

There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It’s easy

Nothing you can make that can’t be made
No one you can save that can’t be saved
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time
It’s easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

Love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love, love

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

Nothing you can know that isn’t known
Nothing you can see that isn’t shown
Nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be
It’s easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

138

JOY, 10MAY

Figures this web bible interpretation of joy would come my way today http://www.gotquestions.org/joy-of-the-Lord.html    “… for the believer in Christ, the joy of the Lord comes as naturally as grapes on a vine. As we abide in Christ, the True Vine, we the branches are full of His strength and vitality, and the fruit we produce, including joy, is His doing (John 15:5).”   YUP – that “I am the Vine scripture” –  grew so fast and encircled me – got caught in my branches like, um, grapevine…

I am SO grateful for the re-grafting that God did – he picked up my branch and decided to prune some – but most importantly, found the flaw in my connection and decided to expertly re-graft my branch to Jesus’s life-giving xylem and phloem – AMEN!

Smiles

137

Another tractor trailer, 06MAY

I can’t believe it, same frigging spot on the highway just now, tractor-trailer with turn signal on, weaving in traffic, only going 50 miles an hour, with somebody in a Subaru tailing on his bumper…. but this one is from my hometown (5 hours away), a farm 2 miles from my house up home, ugh, this time my horn honked to “come to the cradle come and find peace”…. I’m like really God? another tractor trailer to wake up? In the same frigging spot as that gas tanker before? And from my hometown? really what the H#LL !!!!!???!!!!

Subaru power activate, I guess…. whew….

this time I honked then drive next to him and smiled, he looked at me, then I passed him… and exited… Maybe he was.not sleeping but just daydreaming of our home….

 

135  Emails about an amazing chance to witness Jesus’s love

#1 in the chain

On Fri, May 1, at 6:09 PM, debbie wrote:

HI Pastor P – I got to be you yesterday morning!  – I am calling it one of my first “got to pull a Pierre” moments – and I got to pray I  well as encourage in the most random of places – to the most random of people… But not 100% random, as I was in my Subaru, of course. SO, it was definitely the Holy Spirit who moved me there at that moment!

I’m was and am so excited!

I had to take an early morning conference call so I did so from home – then dediced to run lots of errands and then I got my oil changed and my brake light replaced before heading to work .  So, it wasn’t until late morning that I am zipping down the random road to the turnpike…  And holding part of those unfinished errands, I was holding a duplicated copy of a photo from my trip to a cathedral, of Jesus, for a friend who liked the photo when I showed him last week …  I thought – maybe I should just pull over and fihish this card so I don’t have to keep holding it..  So I stopped the car on the side of the road near the top of a long strange driveway and started to grab my pen to write. So. wouldn’t you know it, but someone wanted to pull into the driveway like 3 minutes later – and I backed up and he didn’t looked pleased…  of all the places, why was I there?…

Well, I backed up and was preparing to put the letter away to get out of there – but the guy was walking up to my car and staring me down – oops..  I could have just pulled out but I thought I should say something so he didn’t worry – so I rolled down my passenger window and said  “no worries – I was just writing a letter – sorry”. And then he said in a challenging voice – “What do you mean you were just stopped to write a letter” – its true – that was a strange thing to stop randomly to do that… but I am random and always will be…  So, I showed him – this rough and tumble guy with his cigarette in hand – I said, innocently, “see – I have this card and this photo of Jesus that I took on a trip and I wanted to send it to my friend who is going through a rough time – and I just wanted to lift his spirits!” – well – that’s true – and I wanted to be open and honest.

He says: “Well, that Jesus is doing some awful ‘explitive’ to me right now” – and I said in a friendly but correcting voice: “Its not Jesus doing that – maybe the devil but not Jesus – you know Jesus? he wouldn’t do that”…  well, this guy (his initials are S.J.) started telling me his whole massive awful battle with his wife about custody of a 2yr old, a 5 yr old and a 13 yr old… and divorce fees and visitation issues, and then his car was totaled and he was supposed to get a breathalizer engine starter (that he didn’t need because it was a medication-caused DUI he shouldn’t have gotten) and it was supposed to be installed that day and they gave him hassle that it wasn’t the right car – beause he scrambled and was able to land a new car, title etc in like three days…  and whew – life story vent in five minutes! makes everyone elses’ life look like easy street… whew…  so we talked for like ten minutes and I tried to encourage him and I wanted to give him the photo – but he said no – he had a photographic memory and he would remember it – just like he remembers seeing strange lights come out of the statue of the virgin mary at a church down the road one day he wandered in…  and so I said: (ala Pierre-style) “Can I pray for you?” He said yes – so I grabbed his hand and prayed a short but passionate prayer for him, his kids, his wife… his everything.

… and we then went on our ways…  whew! – thanks Holy Spirit – thanks for freeing up my morning – moving me – using me – whatever your tricks are – keep them up – and thanks for making a strange situation into a blessed one!!!

and thanks Pierre – for the witnessing style you have- and for your most awesome enthusiasm for the salvation of Jesus keep up the good work!

—————-

#2 in the chain)

On May 3, 4:32 PM, “Pastor P > wrote:

Debbie,

This is phenomenal!  I love the way you casually “disarmed” this gentleman with God’s love.  God’s love can untangle the craziest of all situations.  Way to Go!  You gave that man an encounter with Jesus!  The first and not the last! (For him or for you…you have many more prayers to pray for others!)

Blessings!

P

——————

#3 in the chain)

On Sun, May 3, at 9:02 PM, debbie wrote:

Thanks Pastor P,

This guy didn’t know that I am a random weird soul, who thinks nothing of stopping to write a letter or having Easter eggs glued to the top of my car…. (actually I changed my car to red poppies now, see attached photo).

It was just me being honest and certainly I usually do talk to anyone and I certainly speak my mind! (my parents taught me that people are just people), so I would have to say that GOD is using my talents to HIS favor, which makes sense for God, but catches us off guard at times!!!!

It’s one thing to be looking for an open opportunity, but I have been getting used to God plunking opportunities right on my path!

The prayer I have is for discernment.  It’s easy to act when God plunks you down and you have no choice, but to know whether you should act or not, that is always the question…. luckily I always try to act, when I feel I can make a difference… it’s not a worry about over extending myself, it’s more a worry about being overbearing…

I wonder where God will take me next?

Can’t wait to find out!

Thanks.
Smiles…

———————-

#4 in the chain)

here is that photo I was holding – the one of jesus alone – and also a photo of us together – from St. Vitas Cathedral at Prague Castle

have a great day

134

Autopsy Openness, Let’s Roll, 29APR

I know that my reading of Jarius’ daughter at the sunrise Easter service was perfect for me – my pastor sure knows how to pick’em – this was a speech by a girl raised from the dead by Jesus –  and the first line is “I was not surprised that the man who brought me back to life rose from the dead three days after his crucifixion. I was proof that he had power over death.”

Yup Yup Yup….  that’s me in a nutshell…  I am not surprised at hardly anything that God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit do anymore – not surprised at all… sometimes I do question the timing though and say “Really God?” but I don’t question the motive.
And I still say “Really God? – little me?”  So much time and energy that God has spent just for me? – unreal… but He is doing this for EVERYONE and not just me – YOU TOO – I just am blessed to notice it more and more.

I so realize now that I am not the one who this “corrective action” was for.  Sure, it happened to me and I get to benefit in the glorious happenings – but really, I have to say that God chose me as a servant – which is not a surprise. For my whole life, my family has raised me as a servant to serve others – I get the greatest joy from seeing others happy – I am just happy to be me and to make others smile….  So yeah, it is not a surprise to me that God took me and said: “OK girl, let’s fix you and put your head on straight and focus you on what you are supposed to be here for” – and now He says: “Let’s Roll!”

So – it is/was the strangest experience to have been “awakened” – in Jesus’ eyes I (as Jairus’ daughter) was simply sleeping – but if this were those biblical people’s eyes I (as Jairus’ daughter)  was completely dead and they were too late and there was nothing they could do and why even bother…  well, at least someone DID bother – and for me that somebody was God Himself…  God not just bothered to think of me – He took action – even with “everything he holds in His hands” (as the praise song “Unfailling Love” goes: “And everything You hold in Your hand – Still you make time for me – I can’t understand – Praise You God of Earth and sky – How beautiful is Your unfailing love “).

I now see in this very recent stage (now three months after my awakening) that I am in a new phase – which I am calling the “SELF-AUTOPSY” phase – I am dissecting and examining every aspect of self – to the detriment of time sure,  but hopefully to the glorification of God, so that at the bare minimum it is to figure out how I got here and how can I sustain where I am – one would hate to fall back asleep –  I vow to NOT let that happen to me – and I doubt God would ever let that happen anyway, He’s got plans, I can plainly see…  He even made my sins clearer to see – and when the Devil is creeping up in old or strange new ways, it has become so much more easy for me to spot it. Even the mundane sins are still sins and its a binary 0/1 or on/off designation – we are all sinners doesn’t matter if you did something “light” as a sin – it still darkens – still sins in God’s eyes…

Yes, this self-autopsy has me WIDE open – and I don’t mind – as Jarius’s daughter (in the play) says: “It’s not been a terrible sacrifice.” – which is true – I have been easily telling me tale now – not a problem God, it’s OK, if you are guiding me I will follow. Does it matter what others see, no it doesn’t matter to me…. BUT – it does matter to those people who see it.  they either don’t want to see it – or don’t even notice – or they are at least curious and want to see it – and in that case I am happy to share. I have not yet had to scare people with it – but I wonder if that will happen – probably.

SO, there are some SQUEAMISH people out there – they don’t want to see my spiritual blood and guts – they might get tired of seeing my sins and/or my saintly moments strewn out for display – think about some carefully preserved glass jars of formaldehyde with my parts preserved for eternity…  BUT, there are also some JADED people out there – it doesn’t even phase them to see what is going on with me – they just keep walking – don’t pay any attention to someone that God has opened their whole heart and soul for the world to see…  nope, that doesn’t even register with those people. This is EXACTLY like the times when I can walk down a hallway with a red clown nose on – or Easter eggs glued to the top of my car – and they don’t even crack a smile (I love it when the people are trying to hold back and be serious – but it gets them and they fight the smile – they just don’t want to be moved – but it starts to creep out of them)….  BUT – there are tons of those curious people – well, it doesn’t matter whether they are ambulance chaser folks or just super interested in how this happened to me or curious or scared how and IF this might happen to them….

So, this strangest experience to have been “awakened” – it was sprit-led, like I said, no one knew where I was spiritually in Jesus’ eyes I (as Jairus’ daughter) was simply sleeping – in people’s eyes I (as Jairus’ daughter)  was completely dead and they were too late and there was nothing they could do and why even bother…  well, at least someone DID bother – and for me that somebody was God…  God bothered to think of me – even with everything he holds in his hands (as the song lyric goes) still He makes time for me, I can’t understand…

Jarius’s daughter says (in the play version):” I must give my life to the one who has given it back to me. I have to surrender my desires and follow his teachings instead.” – and this I know: there are going to be some more painful trials ahead and yet I won’t have to endure any of them with God’s reassurances, Jesus’s hugs, and the Holy Spirit’s lifting presence.

OK God, Let’s Roll!

————
35 While Jesus was still speaking, some people came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue leader. “Your daughter is dead,” they said. “Why bother the teacher anymore?”
36 Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”
37 He did not let anyone follow him except Peter, James and John the brother of James. 38 When they came to the home of the synagogue leader, Jesus saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly. 39 He went in and said to them, “Why all this commotion and wailing? The child is not dead but asleep.”40 But they laughed at him.

131

Well, awesome movie I just saw, A Winter Tale, a great movie and it mentions the Pleiades…. I will tell you about the God/devil filled movie about miracles later… and wow, it was moving beyond belief…. but I want to tell you about how it sent me looking up something about the Pleiades..and then how I came across this tale of the favorite constellation of the an Indian nation  near where some of my family grew up… . Their favorite constellation? you guessed it…. the Pleiades…..  and you know what? It’s a winter constellation, just like my winter window of God’s chosen time for my awakening…. and also winter is when vinedressers do the best pruning off the branches of the vine (according to a sermon I heard)…. hmmmm…. good God….

 

132 Music Therapy – Joni Mitchell – I Think I Understand, Apr

Another good song about Fear and Journeying – and as I was finishing an email about fear, of course a good song came on in the background – so fitting!!!

I posted the lyrics below – but Joni calls fear “stepping stones” or “sinking sand” – I just told someone else about sinking sand when you don’t trust in the Lord… so – yeah, i hope that we can all trust in the lord –  all our fear can be stepping stones to what is next and we can take time to prepare… and we can taste the sunlight… sigh…  life is for learning you know…  (youtube https://youtu.be/vnVeeUAWkSE)

I Think I Understand

by Joni Mitchell

Daylight falls upon the path
The forest falls behind
Today I am not prey to dark uncertainty
The shadow trembles in its wrath
I’ve robbed its blackness blind
And tasted sunlight as my fear came clear to me

I think I understand
Fear is like a wilderland
Stepping stones or sinking sand

Now the way leads to the hills
Above the steeple’s chime
Below me sleepy rooftops round the harbor
It’s there I’ll take my thirsty fill
Of friendship over wine
Forgetting fear but never disregarding her

Oh, I think I understand
Fear is like a wilderland
Stepping stones or sinking sand

Sometimes voices in the night
Will call me back again
Back along the pathway of a troubled mind
When forests rise to block the light
That keeps a traveler sane
I’ll challenge them with flashes from a brighter time

Oh, I think I understand
Fear is like a wilderland
Stepping stones and sinking sand

 

 

133

email to Pastor for recent sermon about Pondering, 26APR

Wow…. your pondering made such a powerfully wonderful sermon… I am only half thru and wow, I had to stop to say you hit EXACTLY my calling out about the green beans and I KNEW God would answer since I trusted God so much, and how faithful He was to me, I knew, I knew to trust 100%… And how did he reply? He moved a mountain twice with the author to read my emails and I pray she is pondering herself more about God, and wow he gave me both a visual comfort in the height differences between my beans and theirs, and he gave me fuel to share my faith at the meeting….  soul on fire is easy when God creates the spark…

Now about being STILL,  I have processed, pondered and praised so much not being still .. not even including my car time,  I am reminded that we are never still because the earth is moving.. if you watch a sunrise which I’ve done three times this year, or track the stars, it will blow you away at how amazingly fast the earth is moving and we don’t feel it… this is EXACTLY how amazingly fast God is working in our lives, even when we are ignorant or trying to not feel it. And so when we do feel God working, wow it’s fast!! Thanks

 

130

Evolution is a verb, not a noun

Too many people pigeon hole God…. I try not to… all things are possible… God would not leave us scientists hanging…We are blessed to understand the bare surface of how God allows an amazing evolutionary plan continue thru present day… Evolution is a verb and evidence is all around…  God smiles and allows diversity to be the most amazing active cascade of events…  God’s time is just that – God’s – there is no reason why time should be completely understood by us – we are blessed to visualize it – to feel it – to see life and be life.  Lest we forget that God thought of us before we were born… God loves us and I am pretty sure He is pleased that we want to study Him and His ways.

“But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.”

2 Peter 3 (NIV)

The Day of the Lord

3 Dear friends, this is now my second letter to you. I have written both of them as reminders to stimulate you to wholesome thinking. ² I want you to recall the words spoken in the past by the holy prophets and the command given by our Lord and Savior through your apostles.

³ Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. ⁴ They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our ancestors died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.” ⁵ But they deliberately forget that long ago by God’s word the heavens came into being and the earth was formed out of water and by water. ⁶ By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. ⁷ By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly.

⁸ But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. ⁹ The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

¹⁰ But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare.

¹¹ Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives ¹² as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. ¹³ But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.

¹⁴ So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him.¹⁵ Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him.16 He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.

¹⁷ Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. ¹⁸ But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.

129

Email with my professor about Henry VIII, 22APR

Q? I heard a very profound statement today at the doctor’s office from a goofball but God loving gentleman and his wife… he said that Henry the eighth was highly responsible for the spreading of the Gutenberg Bible – he handed it out to everybody or something like that and look how this man who was killing his wife and was a terrible person was being used by God to do the most amazing thing because the english-translation of the Bible had a major impact in the spread of Christianity…. hmmmm… Have you ever heard of this aspect of Henry the 8th?
I had a very profound morning –  it’s amazing when you have one when you least expect it, but wow we had awesome good God/spirituality/religion conversations there in the doctor’s office…

Later I saw a really funny billboard (such duplicate timing huh?)… “who invented fractions? Henry the 1/8”

Reply: I do know that despite being a ruthless megalomaniac, Henry was also very devout in his faith. Before he broke away and started the Church of England, he was given an award by the Pope for writing a very learned defense of the Eucharist over against the early Protestants.

128

Email:  a scripture from JOB – emails with a trusted soul

I am so lucky to have such great support and positive influences on everyside of my life…

The seven sister stars in the Pleiades watched over me tonight as always, while I used them in an astronomy and greek mythology badge lesson.   The sister moon too was my guide, walked with me to my home cabin along the frozen lake…breathtaking after an amazing day with my sister moms

Beautiful beyond words…..

Thanks …Pleiades and me…God only knows what’s in store for me, huh?

I have never read Job, ever…probably should read that whole book! Thanks for your help on the Greek gods and constellations…the thirteen 13-year olds were very interested and I teamed them up for constellation researching and finding them in the sky… it’s a bit scary to step outside my comfort zone to have taught them… but I have been out of my comfort zone a lot lately, huh?

Job 38 NIV

The LORD Speaks
1 Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said: 2 “Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? 3 Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. 4 “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. 5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? 6 On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone– 7 while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? 8 “Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, 9 when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, 10 when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, 11 when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt’? 12 “Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place, 13 that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it? 14 The earth takes shape like clay under a seal; its features stand out like those of a garment. 15 The wicked are denied their light, and their upraised arm is broken. 16 “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep? 17 Have the gates of death been shown to you? Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death ? 18 Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this. 19 “What is the way to the abode of light? And where does darkness reside? 20 Can you take them to their places? Do you know the paths to their dwellings? 21 Surely you know, for you were already born! You have lived so many years! 22 “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow or seen the storehouses of the hail, 23 which I reserve for times of trouble, for days of war and battle? 24 What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed, or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth? 25 Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm, 26 to water a land where no man lives, a desert with no one in it, 27 to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with grass? 28 Does the rain have a father? Who fathers the drops of dew? 29 From whose womb comes the ice? Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens 30 when the waters become hard as stone, when the surface of the deep is frozen? 31 “Can you bind the beautiful Pleiades? Can you loose the cords of Orion? 32 Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons or lead out the Bear with its cubs? 33 Do you know the laws of the heavens? Can you set up [God’s] dominion over the earth? 34 “Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water? 35 Do you send the lightning bolts on their way? Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’? 36 Who endowed the heart with wisdom or gave understanding to the mind ? 37 Who has the wisdom to count the clouds? Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens 38 when the dust becomes hard and the clods of earth stick together? 39 “Do you hunt the prey for the lioness and satisfy the hunger of the lions 40 when they crouch in their dens or lie in wait in a thicket? 41 Who provides food for the raven when its young cry out to God and wander about for lack of food?

124 – (see 124, 125, 126, 127)

Bean seeds, a true test of my faith, 08Apr

ugh… so I know it is said that being a Christian is hard… well being a Christian and a scientist worrying about bean seeds is not the trial I thought I would have as a major conflict…but I do… ugh…

I tried really hard to both defend my science AND my faith tonight at my neighbor’s book club – they waited until my return from my trip to do THIS experiment because they knew I didn’t believe in it…the experiment is to project my energy to one half of the green been seeds to grow faster than the other… wrong to me on so many levels…

One could say I have a golden opportunity to demonstrate real scientific knowledge base  (because the 1960’s quote in the book about plants having feelings was totally debunked by MY OWN professor mentors in grad school, a Science paper detailed the flaws..) but how to not offend my great neighbor? She really so wants me to do this experiment and prove that i have the power over the plants – if I had that I wouldn’t have been in grad school for 7 years….  ugh!!!!!   the experiment goes against every scientific bone in my body – and then all those spiritual juices too…

I know she knows I am both a scientist and a Christian  – and  I have shared this amazing spiritual growth with her and she also is a Christian – she (as well as me) could certainly be called “a bundle of energy”…   my best friend says I don’t give myself enough credit for being my own force in the universe… Cuz I really do think I am good force in the universe… and I know the power of positive thinking… but i have always credited my good energy, good upbeat personality and positive influences on an amazing combination of my parents and family upbringing and the pure Grace of God and my appreciation of the Grace of God… always…

and now ever since my amazing spiritual growth of accepting Jesus as 100% real, instead of being 50:50, I have seen an explosion of blessings…  I am trying to give everything up to God… I have seen small miracles, seen repair to my spiritual life, working on repairs to so many things, I have dropped at least one maybe two pants size losing weight in only three months…if that’s not a miracle, I don’t know what is…I even fasted with NO problem Good Friday! Actually did about 36 hrs before I said, maybe I should eat something…my stress eating is practically gone, it creeped up lately, but I know the signs,  and reach out for gum or a pen top for my mouth to chew instead…

Sigh…. what am I going to do… these beans…  fruits…

I was planning on just laughing it off – but I think that is not good enough for me today – I have to act – hmmm… I will have to pray, definitely, how come I can’t give up this worry to God as easily as everything else? Why do I fear ruining a friendship? Or appearing to be ungrateful to a neighbor, when by worrying I’m really being disrespectful to God…

Will I tell them that i will plant the seeds, but leave the rest up to God….? Hmmm….Will I give it up to God, but then lie that I really did the experiment they asked? lie? Hmmm… Will I “accidentally” forget to water them? Hmmm… Will I purposefully send my “energy” towards their plants to make then all grow the same? Hehe… Will their dog eat the whole experiment? Science says this is a bioassay… there needs to be a HUGE sampling size, we don’t have that anyway, so not even a scientifically sound experiment…

The quote that goes with the experiment:
> “Don’t worry. Be happy.” Bobby McFerrin…  yeah I found that really annoying in the late eighties too… even if I believe it, sing it, it can still be annoyed right? Hmmm…
>
The author says “To change your life for the better, you simply connect with the power of the universe and then step back and allow it all to unfold with ease and grace.” Yeah, well I connected, and God said “stand your ground!”,  “You have a double reason to not throw your whole self to the trash…”,  “walk straight, be real, spirit and truth….” most importantly, trust God… I left the meeting to get my daughter from scouts, pulled up right behind this car, bumper sticker reads “in God we trust” yup… going to have to give it up to Him… I can’t turn my back on Him now…

I know they will not shun me for not doing the experiment, like them, I am being silly… but peer pressure is real, whether it has major consequences or not… and maybe just maybe they will feel MY dilemma when that look at their own beans… at least they protested when I said that my prayers would be wasted on beans when I should be praying for health healing for my friends… they say there are no wasted prayers… so maybe I am planting  seeds of faith not beans in this experiment???

I am giving it up… You got this one God? You got the biggest bioassay going anyway…

Maybe God will surprise us all… only God knows… It’s your experiment God, have fun…

————–

125 – emails about  Beans Experiment  (see 124, 125, 126, 127)

here is a cool conversation with a multi-million book seller author… go  figure!! Instead of stressing how l was going to tell my super nice neighbor that I didn’t do the green bean energy experiment, I decided to write the author instead to vent my concerns for science and for God.

… I have/had her ear… she did not address the scientific issues  (yet – she probably won’t) but we were having an interesting God conversation none the less… What God is up to I’ll never know but it certainly fun being part of the show… hey that rhymes 😉
have a great day! Start reading from the bottom. I emailed, she replied, I emailed again, she replied, and I don’t think she will reply to my 3rd, last, email….but who knows… her replies are a bit fluffy fur me, but oh well, at least I have a good story and a good witness to why I gave the whole experiment up to God…
>
> ———- Forwarded message ———-
> From: “debbie > Date: Apr 14,
> To: “P
>
>> Rome fell… and many religions are sadly failing to hold up to Jesus’ greatest commandments.  All roads should lead to God… There are good intentions in many church people, but that “not judging” aspect is hard for so many… Jesus’ greatest commandment was to LOVE. And even though by default, that means not judging… people do forget that, sadly. That’s what keeps people from coming into church, they don’t want to be judged (there is a really fitting seminar I attended about this : xxxxxxxxx)

I was just in the Czech Republic, King Charles the 4th, Holy Roman emperor in the 1300’s, would probably say all paths lead not to Rome but to Bohemia! But even with hundreds of gorgeous cathedrals, drawing millions of tourists to gauk at the gold, the czech people have mostly no religion.  My Czech relatives are half Christian and half atheist. (I had an epic journey to meet them after we reestablished connection after over 50 years of lost contact).

I would call myself a “recovering Catholic” having lost my religion when I married outside my faith to (God-forbid, LOL) a Methodist.  I do enjoy the Methodist church I attend, and religions are important to give structure and teaching in the basic principles of faith, but it is one’s spirituality that fulfills. It’s one’s own faith that will sustain you for your life.

And, it is in the one on one personal connections where two or three meet that I find God the most… in those wonderful intimate conversations about faith. When you compare the mega churches, were the people never even get to meet their pastor, to our small community churches – where not only does your congregation and pastor know you, they know how to connect with you individually…well it’s clear that connections are key. I myself (with this amazing recent spiritual growth) have about 12 pastors on speed dial… it’s awesome… but even so, it’s the simple small connections that I make to others, adults and children (and child-like souls of special needs individuals) which are the most fulfilling… where the joy amplifies… and where I see that being a child of God and a humble servant like Isaiah and especially Jesus is where it’s at!

I know you are so busy, and I truly appreciate you taking the time to answer my email. Your book, and my neighbor’s life improvement club,  have been true tests to my faith, showing me where to draw my faith lines and not fearing standing up for God (and for science too!), and opportunities to witness to them how God has enriched my life beyond my wildest dreams.
I hope and pray you have a good support system. I will continue to pray for your good fortunes and writings… I would love to see a book about YOUR faith journey some day… I will send you mine when I get it published… I would love to share a couple pieces with you if you would like.

Take care.
Blessings and God’s Grace always.
Debbie

>> On Apr 14, 3:30 AM, “P wrote:
>>>
>>> Hi again Debbie,
>>>
>>> I remember what a Catholic nun once told me. Only 2 things Jesus really said: “forgive” and “don’t judge.”
>>>
>>> All paths lead to Rome.
>>>
>>> Have a beautiful day,
>>>
>>> P

On Apr 13,, at 9:15 PM, debbie wrote:

Hello, when i saw that your website said that you have email pile the size of Mount Everest, I said “Really God?” Throw Mount Everest in there? How fitting…  because this year our Vacation Bible School theme is “Everest – Conquering Challenges with God’s Almighty Power!” Well I’m said, ” I know God can move mountains, as he certainly has done in my life, so, let’s see if my God of Mount Everest can reach her email Mount Everest!”  LOL – God came thru!

Thank you for the kind words of reassurance.  I am so glad that you realize that you are a God-led being – and I can easily see that you have been blessed immensely in your success. Truly i see that my neighbor Kim, who is a HUGE fan of yours, has already achieved a positive personality and her family and her friends have been blessed by her uplifting spirit and zest for life! She is extremely generous with her time and resources – and also has the desire to share that joy of life with others. And even though I don’t know you, I appreciate that you appear to intend to uplift your readers, so thank you for that.

As you can understand, I have not been thrilled with the “experiments”, looking for certain kinds of cars is ok,  and actually i have been doing that experiment for years, finding Subaru Foresters .. But specifically I was not able to do or believe in this green bean experiment, let alone the coat hanger one.  It never entered my mind that this was a proper outlet for my “energy”… and Yes, I did stress over how to approach this conversation with my neighbors,  both before the experiment and also in preparation to the explaination that I was planning to give next week – about my objections, but mostly concerned about their misguided faith. And I hate to appear rude or condescending… by criticizing mistrust in something that doesn’t seem God-led…  Of course I know they would easily accept my unwillingness to put myself into this experiment, they are nice people after all – no harm no foul – but still, i want to explain to them both the scientific and spirit-led reservations i have.. And i have been determined to tell them that i stopped stressing about the situation by giving that stress up to God.  Life is HIS experiment, not always ours…  God is not the co-piot – He is the pilot…
Scientifically, I am concerned about your use of a quote and the concepts of de-bunked “experimental results” that plants have ESP and feelings.  I still question this of you because you didn’t address it from my first email.  Either the lie detector test was a display of scientific control incompetence OR sensationalism (and i can even see now an image in my head of Uri Geller faking bending spoons on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson…). I believe it was the former, bad experimental design, so how much research, I curiously ask, did you do into this debunked set of work?

Spiritually, if i did try this “experiment”, i would be turning my back to not only my scientitfic upbringing, but also to my strong faith in God.  And i must tell you of this awesome spiritual growth i have had recently where i have a newly-expanded faith in  Jesus as real and in Jesus’s teachings about God… and WOW – i have been truly blessed since then!

Jesus and God give true hope…  As Jesus took on the role of a servant to bring people back to God, we too must try to give people real hope.

I only yesterday participated in a Sunday school lesson on 2nd Peter, warning about false prophets…and used Uri Geller as well as the green bean experiment as examples of a false prophet.  To put it plain and simple,  I feel the bean “experiment” gives false hope.

Another great example to live up to is the servant role taken on by Isaiah   I can see that the role of the servant to bring people back to God is a crucial one repeated in the bible  BUT, i see that one needs to be humble to be a servant, have energy yes, but one must appreciate where the true energy source comes from… this energy is from God.

So I hope you continue to turn to God for your future writing just as I have turned to God with an amplified result of great joy. I too have been writing…  I had begun this writing as my processing of how God is stirring people around me and working in my life.  At some point I’m sure I will publish them, but now i share with about 100 close friends. My writings (over 100) have been both meaningful to me as well as to others who can appreciate the corrective action God has placed on me to turn my head around.
>>>> So I will always try to humbly tell of the real hope that the true God had brought me as opposed to false hope that false prophets may throw your way.  It’s NOT gonna be easy…. I know that you can’t please all the people all the time, but you have to stay true to God’s word.

Good luck in all your future writings.
God bless
Debbie

Isaiah 50:4-9New International Version (NIV)
>>>> 4 The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue,
>>>>     to know the word that sustains the weary.
>>>> He wakens me morning by morning,
>>>>     wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed.
>>>> 5 The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears;
>>>>     I have not been rebellious,
>>>>     I have not turned away.
>>>> 6 I offered my back to those who beat me,
>>>>     my cheeks to those who pulled out my beard;
>>>> I did not hide my face
>>>>     from mocking and spitting.
>>>> 7 Because the Sovereign Lord helps me,
>>>>     I will not be disgraced.
>>>> Therefore have I set my face like flint,
>>>>     and I know I will not be put to shame.

>>>> On Mon, Apr 13, at 11:09 AM, P  wrote:
>>>>> Dear Debbie,
>>>>>
Thanks for your thoughtful email. God is definitely my copilot, as well. I may use different terms (God doesn’t care–he’s definitely not the judgmental prick many believe) and I my see him differently. But my highest goal is to be connected always. I believe He (I’m using the masculine pronoun because that’s probably how you would see it, right?) created us to continue to create Himself. So I believe we are meant to use this energy that is of Him to his greater glory.
>>>>>
>>>>> I just follow His instructions.
>>>>>
>>>>> Hope this makes sense.
>>>>>
>>>>> But just so you know, God is my boo.
>>>>>
>>>>> Giant blessings,
>>>>> P

>>>>> On Apr 10, at 5:31 PM, Debbie  wrote:
>>>>> > Message: please let me comment in concern not total criticism… Please tell me your true spiritual feelings about God and his power. My favorite quote of the day is “if God is your co-pilot, you’re sitting in the wrong seat.”
>>>>> >
>>>>> > I have to wonder how you can sometimes talk about God in your book but much of the time have experiments which circumvent HIS power and replace it with personal power. I know I have energy but I also know it’s from my upbringing and God working through me… my neighbor, who is running our book club, loves your books and she truly is an energy source… but the coat hanger experiment which “worked” for her one time then failed to “work” the second time for many if us is indicative of false hope placed instead of true rigor.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > As for the green bean experiment, my PhD in plant biology scientifically will prevent me from believing that I could have power over the plants… if I did it wouldn’t have taken me so many years to get through grad school, haha. the lie detector test with the plants has been debunked years ago, please see science paper . So one doesn’t even have to bring God into this question but I will anyway and say “how do i turn my back on God and believe I have the power over the plants?”. Yes, I am already an energetic person and yes, I do think that my thoughts change the world… my world… but I will never negate the power of God in shaping me to be who I am. I am concerned about those people searching and being misled and then having great disappointment when their energies don’t fulfill their desires…
>>>>> > Thank you for your time… please contact me at the attached email.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > Refs: Kenneth Horowitz, Donald Lewis and Edgar Gasteiger. (1975). Plant Primary Perception: Electrophysiological Unresponsiveness to Brine Shrimp Killing. Science, 189. pp. 478-480.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > http://www.nytimes.com/news/the-lives-they-lived/2013/12/21/cleve-backster/
>>>>> > Time: April 10, at 5:31 pm
————————————————————-

126  (see 124, 125, 126, 127)

Thanks again, Pastor, not only for the UMW march presentation, but for how this scripture you taught at the meeting from mark 8 fits perfectly for the issue of the author who wants you to believe that you have power and energy over green beans…and making coat hangers move just by your mind… and wow, when my neighbors urged me by saying “you just are afraid to show yourself that you have the power to do this…” Well, that felt like the serpent tempting Eve!!!!… whew…!!!

“what good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul!!!!”

Wow, spot on advice then and especially now!
Thanks,
Debbie

———————————————-

127  (see 124, 125, 126, 127)

Beans in God’s Subaru, 16APR

Hmmm..guess which beans are mine in the photo… I gave them all no energy, or at least not differential energy took dune and not others… but the stress about explaining it to my neighbors I gave that it up to God…thank God…

They all did the energy vs no energy, and saw no difference….hmmm… not surprising to me. Sorry about that false hope folks…

The best was they all agreed they didn’t think I would actually do the experiment, cause I had already told them my science and faith…and I have been real honest about my faith to them, how could I not credit God for my high energy!

And yes they were suitably impressed that I wrote the author and she wrote back, twice…

But if you are as amazed as they were about how tall mine grew compare to theirs, don’t be…. as much as it made me smile, at the end I told him the real difference why my beans grew three times as tall as theirs… it was because I grew them in my Subaru 😉 it’s a greenhouse of warmth and good stuff happening in that Subaru.

God bless the Subaru 😉
God bless giving it up to God !
Amen!

Good Psalm:

Psalm 104

24 How many are your works,Lord!

In wisdom you made them all;

the earth is full of your creatures.

25 There is the sea, vast and spacious,

teeming with creatures beyond number—

living things both large and small.

26 There the ships go to and fro,

and Leviathan, which you formed to frolic there.

27 All creatures look to you

to give them their food at the proper time.

28 When you give it to them,

they gather it up;

when you open your hand,

they are satisfied with good things.

29 When you hide your face,

they are terrified;

when you take away their breath,

they die and return to the dust.

30 When you send your Spirit,

they are created,

and you renew the face of the ground.

31 May the glory of the Lord endure forever;

may the Lord rejoice in his works—

32 he who looks at the earth, and it trembles,

who touches the mountains, and they smoke.

33 I will sing to the Lord all my life;

I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

123
OOBLECK, Standing on Solid Ground, 12APR

Fun stuff, oobleck from cornstarch and water, a non-Newtonian solid, acts like a solid (squeeze it) and a liquid (let it ooze thru your hand)… it was one way we demonstrated that it is not good to stand on shaky ground, that it is better to stand on firm, solid ground, by knowing and following the words and wisdom of God and doing the right things, including those from second Peter: faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection, love.

Unfortunately, shaky ground, like the oobleck or the foam blocks we tried to stand on… are like putting your trust in things/people other than God…

Here are the passages on false prophets:

Matthew 7:24-27 New Living Translation
Building on a Solid Foundation
24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
———–
2 Peter 1:
3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.

10 Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, 11 and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
——————–
2 Peter 2 New International Version (NIV)
False Teachers and Their Destruction
2 But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them—bringing swift destruction on themselves. 2 Many will follow their depraved conduct and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. 3 In their greed these teachers will exploit you with fabricated stories. Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping.

4 For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but sent them to hell, putting them in chains of darkness to be held for judgment; 5 if he did not spare the ancient world when he brought the flood on its ungodly people, but protected Noah, a preacher of righteousness, and seven others;

121
This post-Easter week I checked back in with myself… see where I am going… hopped back on the “Christmas merry go round” (one I wrote about in the Easter roller coaster piece) for comfort after my extended Easter roast coaster… it was a week of remembering all this things I have been neglecting, trying to jump back into work, a week where I didn’t take good enough care of myself from a wicked cold, of pausing and thinking….”where am I going?”

Where am I going?, 11APR-12APR
I guess I wonder if a golden opportunity opened and is shutting, or will shut… a balance between whether I continue writing for me, or for an audience I think I could reach…. whether I did just pause for me and it is time to be less needy and greedy for conversations with God that take the form of writing… yet my corrective action never had anything to do with writing, that was just the way I could empty/dump my brain down, to let God keep filling it up…hmmm…

Perhaps I was granted the luxury of taking the last few months as “Me time” (corrective action by God from Christmas to Easter, convenient huh? Alpha and Omega?…)… and I certainly was on an accelerated growth spurt!!!… Is it because that was the only time God could fit it in with the hectic, but awesome, life that HE has picked for me?… and certainly HE leaves me with no doubt over tasks put in front of me, spring is crazy, good, busy!!! So there is no need for me to rush myself right now, I have got plenty to do! I am never bored, ever!… NO need to rush God… The best quote this past week, my husband shared with me: ” If you say God is your co-pilot, then you are in the wrong seat.”

So, timewise I need to focus over life things like family, work, VBS, UMW, finances, and those times that I am the only one who can fulfill the kids and my husband’s, and my extended family’s needs…

So, do I take less time, or smaller chunks, for just “me time”? am I just justifying it as “me plus God time”?… and yet the “me and God time” felt SO good…. made me feel like I could change the world… but I have to be realistic…. just like everything in life, I can’t do everything… I have to focus on what I can impact… and especially now focus on what it is in my own world that needs me for me, where there is no substitute…. sigh……

So why do I worry so much about stuff? But I do…. simply worrying about whether I take too much me time IS taking too much me time….. sigh… I know the scripture, don’t worry, just pray…

Taking “me time”…Look at the vacation I took for me, visiting my family in Europe, people said I deserved it… did I? Well, yeah I did… because I know was also for my family in Europe too…. the joy for thirty plus people amplified my joy… they say they miss me more than I miss them, and there are so many of them, and just one of me… So “me” time is not just for me, .I would have regretted not going so much much more, especially if my elderly cousin had passed before I was there, and it was not a hardship for anyone anyway, the money was a bonus, the kids were all right, epic journeys are just that…epic and worthy…. and worthy to be repeated…

As I was sad to leave the new family I met, I knew it was just a window of opportunity… So likewise, I am sad thinking about taking less writing and less me time….even if I question if it might be time to move on….and get over myself… I wonder if this feeling of “i can change the world!” will subside? Maybe not… but maybe fall back to realistic levels? Yet, I do change my worlds, everyday, by being me, by using my God-given talents to organize, to rally, to lead by example… of course by tuning into people who need me to listen, like my kids, sometimes by showing that I am not to proud to be picking recycling out of a trash can, sometimes by simply having plastic Easter eggs hot glued to my car and making people smile… “Think Globally, but Act Locally”, great bumper sticker… great philosophy…

Thanks for listening; there are no easy answers, just keep moving… others remind me… I remind myself… and I remind others, for years using the MASH episode where Father Mulcahy questions his impact, and says: “It doesn’t matter whether you feel useful or not when you’re moving from one disaster to another. The trick, I guess, is to just keep moving.” I can see him looking up – then moving into the night and the blessed snowflakes.

So, it’s ok for me to pause on occasion, praise that I move not from disaster to disaster but mostly from joy to joy….and praise that praying too can also be done while moving…

I will keep trying to give up these new questions to God just like before… praise Him like before that I DO have questions… questions are good…. that’s the only way to clear my mind… So God can fill it again…

OK, keep moving…

 

———

post email to a friend:

122
So, Mxxx, I really did appreciate your comment after the message…. about God providing… and Jesus saying “just do it”….. your message was spot on…. I needed to stop worrying about where I am going and just keep going… that reduction in stress of not worrying has been amazing… really knowing the Lord will provide…. that’s awesome….

Keep up the good messages

120 ( a long “babbling thought”)
People Watching, 10APR
One of the phrases my Mom always uses is that she “loves people watching”. Yes, before there were smartphones and noses buried in online posts, there was “people watching”… sitting at the mall, sitting at the doctor’s office, waiting in a restaurant, and yes, sitting in church….
Yes, I people watch… all the time… it’s my upbringing – I was told to watch people and react to them and take heed of how I effect them… These experiences even made me think of a potential career, being a psychologist… I always wanted to know: “what makes people the way they are?” “What makes the brain tink?” Yes, people make me think…

Another passion/hobby of mine (that could have been a career) is weather watching… a big thunderstorm is rolling in right now, while I write this… big cracks of lightning excite me, but would make others cowl… if nothing else in life I have learned to go with the flow and accept things… live the serenity prayer, or at least try to… Lightning, that you cannot change… you have to change your attitude towards it… “crappy weather” or “wow, exciting lightning! Our first spring storm!!! Spring is here!!”…. Yeah, it’s all in the attitude… Some folks are so strong and confident but wow, in a thunderstorm? WOW – a different person…scared to death! But me?…well, I would sit on the outside porch in college and watch the ball lightening roll in… yeah – I am that kind of person – watch and feel the awesome lightening from just a safe enough distance… It’s all in the attitude… like riding a rollercoaster… live is living for the thrill of it all…

Weather watching, People watching… yup, take a step back and watch and listen… you will learn volumes about life.

I recently revisited/relistened to the four sermons that made a big impact on me while growing through this burst of spiritual growth… they were on CD and about a year old when I heard them the first time… but talk about timing… no wonder they gave me food for thought, they were meaty and to the point and since my ears were opening, I really heard them…

The one sermon that talks about identifying yourself as a Christian, the sermonist (now a friend too) states: “once you identify yourself as a Christian, people will watch you”… YUP! That goes both ways – you watch people – and they watch you…

I have learned so much about people and about myself – good people and bad people – even good people who do bad and vice versa… What makes them tink? So, YES – I watch and YES, I have felt an amplification of people watching ME in my Christian role… And yet, this is not new, I always did have people watching me – I have been in leadership roles at the church and at work and in the community for years and years… Over fifteen years ago now, after I finished my degree, I became a member and then later secretary and president of my local service organization. This was and is my FATHER’S club, and after much strife with previous acceptance of women into this club, I seemed to have no problem becoming the first woman secretary and then the first woman president. See, I learned more about how to be a leader from WATCHING the leaders as well as from watching the followers… and they learned from watching me – they knew what kind of person I was – they appreciated my organizational skills and accepted my leadership and my leadership style… (see, I grew up in THAT club – it gave me about fifty extra doting uncles – to add to my nine blood family uncles)… I had NO problem slipping into a leadership role since I knew that my followers were also my leaders… I knew when to lead, and when to follow, and when I could pick on people, and when I could get other people to pick on others in fun… I really enjoyed that amplification of confidence/ego, and I appreciated all their support… I left the club when I moved away but I took them with me in spirit.

People always watched me, I know, and just like I wait on people to talk to, they wait on me too… to talk to me after church services, before and after church meetings… These are people who want to share something exciting or concerning… I need to take time for these people, because I am one of them too…. I too look for people I need to catch up with, and I go up to talk to people who finish lectures (just recently at a big event I connected with the presenters and email them regularly now), I like many go both to thank them and to connect with them on a more personal level…

It is great when people do this in all aspects of life… An example for myself was at a scientific meeting, I finished a 45 minute seminar presentation to about 300 fellow scientists then afterwards, I essentially “held court” like many speakers for at least another sixty minutes … a few people want to pick your brain for their science issues, a few want to say how excited they are that you have identified the same questions in your research as they have, and a few just want to hang out and listen to the answers you give others… it is really the best part of the presentation….the rehashing… you may have touched the thoughts of the hundreds in the seminar, but these people – you have really reached and they are SO MOTIVATED to reach back for more….

And now, I notice a new amplified volume of watching… in my new Christian role… having identified myself as 100% with Jesus. I notice that I catch more people’s direct eye contact now that I have stepped out in a big way… I am putting myself out there – slowly… I know it is still in easy, safe, incremental steps, but still I am getting out there – more and more people are watching… some watching in smiles, some watching in concern, some watching to see, God-forbid, if I fall… People watching… watch them watch you!

 

 

117
Email about Easter (3rd service – contemporary) to a friend:
So…
I got to stand up to share in front of the contemporary service, about it being my first REAL Easter… the smile on my friend’s face in the row right next to me, so reassuring… I said I praised the praise band for being a major part (and said I was thankful for you, and my whole church family), that it was awesome and would be happy to share with anyone who wanted to know more… And Pastor said, to the audience, a warning that you better carve out a big chunk of time, and bring a sandwich, and a cot for a nap….. LOL…. awesome….

———–

118
Email to a friend, Pxxx
thanks for that big smile you had – and I caught out of the corner of my eye – when I said it was my first REAL Easter in the service – I did have courage to be bold yesterday – but that smile helped me keep smiling and I tried to keep it short and sweet – especially since over half that room already knew my story (i have been kinda busy telling folks LOL) and i loved how pastor said bring a sandwich and a cot… LOL…. I do appreciate the time he has given me – as well as everyone and like the 12 pastors I have “on speed dial” – sweet – now I will return the favor and spend time with folks who would normally use Pastor’s time – my extension of concern will help buffer his time crunch, I hope,

but anyway, thanks for that reassuring smile yesterday… it gets easier and easier each day to share – i was able to catch up with like a dozen people yesterday to tell them – including someone who I had been meaning to chat with for a couple of months… it really is better to share individually with folks – and be able to listen to their stories too…one of these days I want to sit down and hear yours!!!

smiles!

———–

119
Apr8
I had a good catch up conversation with someone about my recent trip but also where I could mention ever so gently that I was appreciated by this branch of the family for not only being me, but also for being a Christian… My friend says he can tolerate my level of religion, lol…I tred lightly always, and he knows how super active I am in church, and he can appreciate the social aspects of it. I did get him to agree that it is the distaste of religions that is what ruins it for so many…And that there is a difference between religion and faith…

Later he said: “Thanks for catching up today! Don’t take my joke too much to heart. I respect your beliefs.”

116 APR

God Pruning and Reading Scriptures correctly!
Big oops, pays to read your bible, I apparently had a whole scripture wrong… John 15….

For some reason I thought Jesus was saying that God (as in all parts together) was the vine… but Jesus was saying the He (Jesus) was the vine, His father (God) was the vine dresser, with strong but loving hands… I love that scripture, so how did I get it wrong? Geez….

I want to teach a youth group lesson with it, I thought instead of reading it, I would first re-listen to a great sermon about it… I even listened three times while I was writing it down, but not until the third time did I hear it right, oops… I must have heard it at least half a dozen times total lately, but I had it wrong in my head… ugh… And then I really had to look it up (I love my smartphone bible gateway)…yup…oh well, life is for learning, hmmm…. either way, the gist is the same… you need to cling to the vine, abide in the vine, and let your branch be pruned by God, to bear much fruit… this is only from being Jesus’ disciple….no wonder Jesus said if they have ears let then hear…still cleaning mine out, sorry about that Jesus…

I have been corrected a couple times today…. Mostly because my cup runneth over and so does my mouth… the first time today was at the bank… I was at the bank for a couple reasons…one to deposit checks and two to take a 10 minute power nap because I’m so exhausted from a trip, a busy blessed weekend, little sleep with this time change and now, I came down with a lovely cold… so, I rested my eyes listening to the vine service and woke up fifteen minutes later to the praises from the congregation… a praise of a car rolling over this woman’s daughter’s chest and no injuries…wow… The praise of the reduction of stage 4 cancer…wow… What a very powerful God we have! We should all listen to those stories!

SO the rest of the day I was taught to give into listening… the timing of God at the bank caused a woman to overhear my conversation about yoga, and ask me about it. I said I had a DVD in the car she could have, it was a copy…she was thrilled… So I was about to say that it was God’s timing but instead I spilled my hot tea on my hand…. So was that me being careless, yeah, but was that God saying shut your trap and listen to the lady first! Yeah was probably that too… I have learned it is so much more about others than about me… everything points to the fact that it is more important to listen than to talk… I guess I better start pruning my overflowing mouth… But I can still write! haha, God hasn’t pruned that (yet)… Please don’t prune that yet God, I still have so much to write… so so much to process…

The rest of the day fell into God’s timing, too, after the bank I ran into my writing friend who has studied the book of John in great detail, and I just listened to his vast knowledge. Then did building laps with my work brother who spoke of where to find spirituality and I just listened. Then two people having issues and I just listened… then the dentist where I had no choice but to listen with my mouth full of instruments.. and that’s all any of those people really needed today… a listener, not a talker…

SO, Jesus says “you did not choose me, I choose you”… choose me to listen, sometimes to talk.. but today, it was to listen… listen to the people and listen (really listen) to Jesus’ story…

Thanks for choosing and correcting me today, Jesus.

John 15 New International Version (NIV)

The Vine and the Branches
15 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

115

Music Therapy – yes you can let LOVE – God’s LOVE make amends for you!
Steven Wilson – Drive Home: https://youtu.be/ycYewhiaVBk

“You need to clear away
All the jetsam in your brain
And face the truth
Well love can make amends”

114

email about possible I am the Vine skit, APR05 (fyi see the follow up at #116)

Wow, my youth group leader just last night asked me to substitute this sunday for him, and I just was thinking that I should teach this idea of mine as the lesson…. “I am the true vine, you are the branches”…. teach the bible scripture, spell out the idea for the skit and have the kids make the fruit and figure out how to run thru the skit…. yup….
I had decided this JUST before I got an email from a dear friend – here is my email reply with the skit idea – and I thank them for being such great mover of the Holy Spirit!!! Here is the email:

“I am the true vine”, yup, God putting more and more fruit on my branch… thanks holy spirit…. such a fast worker…. I love hearing God chuckle when he tinkers… such timing… I am so blessed…

I just thought of this great interactive demonstration for the “I am the vine, you are the branches” scripture, while I was listening to the Genesis song “one for the vine”

A person could be holding on with one hand to a vine (make a sign that says God/Jesus) and they (as the branch) face out away from the vine. Ask them to hold their arm into their body and ask them to catch a soft piece of fruit (perhaps foam of cloth fake fruit)… they can’t catch it… then ask them to tech out their arm, and pick up some pieces of fruit and see how much that can bear… they probably can hold onto a few pieces… then someone could hand then a small basket, and they could probably hold about a dozen pieces… This represents how we bear fruit when we are connected to God, but not turned towards him but instead looking out, away…

Now, have the person turn towards the vine, so now they are facing God – or even have a person portraying Jesus take their hand. Ask them to hold their free arm close to their attached arm…start handing them fruit…start pulling it up and you will see they can bear more…they use their whole upper bodies… then get out a HUGE basket of fruit which they can support holding with their outstretched arms together while holding onto the vine… This represents the many fold more fruit that they can hold when they look towards God… you could even have a tub of soft fruit and pour it over them to see the basket fill up.

I can’t wait to try this sometime soon.  Take care and God bless

111

Good Friday Service, Apr3
Well, if that wasn’t a spirit-led trip to a Good Friday Service, I don’t know what would be! I got lost coming home and I’m sitting in another God-led destination, a Veterans Cemetery, to write this, here, on Good Friday, with hundreds of gravestones… families stopping by with flowers… so sad what we’ve lost in death… oh but so blessed what we gained to live in America… by the lives of these soldiers… Just the image of the perfectly lined up gravestones – wow – powerful beyond words…

What was lost in Jesus’ death but oh, what we gained by that death and resurrection – wow – powerful beyond words…

It’s raining today, so not good for a cross walk in my own community, so I saw a good opportunity to hop up to a Good Friday service at another church, where my new faith penpal friend was preaching… Always wanted to meet him in person, so I thought “today is the day!”…

Wow, awesome doesn’t even describe it… read to the bottom of this piece and you will see why… Why I am so blessed? I have no clue… Why God tinkers with me? I don’t know… God’s got a plan though… this I know… and I know I’m just along for the ride….

Of course, his sermon was amazing as I expected, but I was more impressed with the amazing spirit running through the people there, they were hands up, young and old, praising in a feedback way with huge “Amens!”… thru the whole service, the music the liturgy, and I told him that I can see where he gets his Holy Spirit energy from… it’s from these people who really are absorbing it and bouncing it right back to him! Someone asked me if I was a visitor, but instead of saying “I don’t recognize you”, they said “Will you be joining us on Easter?” Now there, my friends, is a welcoming church. A nice way to welcome unknown people…

And the sermon, about the Power of the Cross  – that mirrored the love I saw, the love we should all spread each day…

“Receive forgiveness
Serve Inexplicably
Speak graciously
Forgive immediately
Reach out enthusiastically”

“The Power of the Cross is not to cleanse your sins, but to give you the power to LOVE…” – to love people who are different just like people who are the same as you.

No worries, I’m not leaving my church for this one, I love my church family, it’s where God put me for a reason… where God put me in leadership roles, did some awesome corrective action on me and said “Let’s Go!”. I do, however, see this as a challenge… for me to do everything in my power to get my church up and spirit-led like this church. If you build it, and fill it with spirit, they will come… just like in the movie.

But here’s the kicker for the day…. About whom is mentioned in this Pastor’s sermon…. Of COURSE, I expected a cool sermon from him, actually a HOT one, because if he isn’t a soul on fire I don’t know who is! I have been listening to a couple of his sermons from his church website, yeah he is super ON FIRE… filled with the Holy Spirit, moved by the Holy Spirit, and handing it out free of charge. He is a fellow alumnus from my small undergraduate institution – and I feel like a mother saying I’m so proud of him, but I am really, really proud of him. And he’s one of those people that God put in my path to help me with my spiritual growth, not with his new book, but with a piece of factual information about the canonization of the Bible that was embedded deep in his website, and of course, God led me right to it. So, it WAS exciting to see the excitement on his face when he recognized me in line for communion and said “You know who I was talking about in my sermon today right?” Well of course I did!!! No, it wasn’t me, but when he started out by talking about going late to a Dunkin Donuts to meet up with someone from another church, to try to sync up their men’s ministries together, I said “Holy Spirit!!!” He’s talking about someone i knew !!!!!”
And the crux of the whole sermon was the fact that the pastor was so late to their meeting together, and he felt so so bad… and expected the worst, but here the other guy greeted him with a smile and “it’s so nice to see you” and gave him the Grace of forgiveness from God… then the next day he gave that Grace of forgiveness right back to someone else… 300 plus people in this audience were moved by this story… About the power of giving forgiveness given… I smiled and smiled and smiled. Wow, Holy Spirit! God I knew YOU know me, but whew…

God, you remind me EVERYDAY how blessed I am… You picked my alma mater, my Subaru… you picked this sermonist pen-pal for me, you picked me to come today to this sermon, you picked me to go to my church last night, with only five hours sleep in two days, for a spirit-filled service, which I was called into duty for to run the PowerPoint to facilitate the spirit flowing and you certainly picked me as object lessons for your Divine love…. whew…

Where are we going from here, God? Only God knows…

I Trust You, God, 100%.

110
emails about sunrise service skit
Wow, yeah, thanks Pastor,
that’s a great part for me for the sunrise service… you nailed it! I am not surprised!

Jairus’ daughter, risen from the dead, says ‘I am not surprised that Jesus rose from the dead…’ the rest of the readings have surprise, but this part does not… just awe….

I like how she says ‘it’s NOT been a terrible sacrifice…’ to serve Jesus, cause it hasn’t…it may be time consuming and hard at times… but a sacrifice??? not a terrible one…and the positives outlast the negatives, always…

And she says ‘if not for Him, I would have nothing to give’ … she didn’t say I wouldn’t LIVE… she said nothing to GIVE… indicating that LIFE is for GIVING, not just for living…. COOL! I can relate to that… and certainly life is for both living and for giving… cool…

Can’t wait for Easter!
Arms up! It’s easier for Jesus to take your hand if it is already up!!!

On Mar 19, Pastor wrote:
Hey, I think I have a part for you to read in the sunrise skit.

109
Travelogue 31MAR
I am having an amazing time here in Europe … this is a long email, so it’s going to be my travelogue (spiritual version) for today…

… after four days on the countryside, I am now in the city, it is quiet in my cousin’s flat, we have retired for the evening, and I have no wifi.  I have been thinking about a recent sermon about making a difference and about looking over family history records and writing postcards… my Pastor’s sermon about how one can really be excited about telling people about God, who gives us the best deal in life and for eternity, for free…  Pastor’s sermon’s enthusiasm was awesome and I appreciated it because I really feel that way too… I can’t help but tell people how excited I am, how God blessed me in everything, and (when the opportunity presents itself) tell them about how this expanded belief in Jesus on top of my previous belief in God blew the roof off… so I appreciate in the message where Pastor’s said GOD salvation is free, and how can you not be excited and exclaim and boast (Romans…) about the good news…
And that we can do the obeying part about exclaiming the good news and let God take control over the rest with the people we meet… so the least we could do was tell folks how God has blessed us.

So God really blessed me for this trip… After the first half of my vacation staying with country cousins, they threw me such wonderful lunch in my honor, with relatives from ALL five branches of our extended family stemming from one set of parents five generations ago. They don’t normally get together, so I was so happy to enable the party… so blessed… After the party, I went bowling with my country dozen cousins, and we cried therapeutic tears of goodbye… They treat me like a sister as well as a cousin…

Actually, I cried buckets… They showered me with gifts from day one. I even lost sleep the night before because I was so sad to part ways… I wrote one piece about loss and holy week… but I got thru the goodbyes with their hugs and love… and I will visit again…and we have Facebook to catch up daily…

Now I am in the city with an older cousin, who lives alone after his wife passed two years now… he has a quiet solitary life…  I am glad to add some activity and have the most marvelous host to this new adventure.

Interesting contrast in these two portions of my trip… my first set with those country cousins had great grandma, grandma, grandpa, and moms to four twenty year old sons plus girlfriends, enjoying an active life… they were all devote Christians, and I got to share my amazing Grace tractor trailer gas tanker experience (where I honked my horn to amazing Grace and prayed, and he eventually woke up from swerving all over the road for at least five minutes)… so these country cousins even spoke of me being a good Christian to the whole group at the family reunion….

and this cousin now in my second part of my trip is an atheist (it’s not that he is against others spirituality, it just doesn’t matter to him) … And I worry that him not having God in his life!!!!!!!!!!!
So I am happy to be his guest on many levels…both because he is taking me everywhere, but also to keep him company… to know that he gets to chat with distant and near relatives on our travels too… (he did admit to me that although his wife dying was a tragedy, after fifty years of marriage, that he can really see others who have even more extreme tragedy in their lives.

He sees what an optimistic person I am… and I can tell him, slowly and organically, how God had blessed my life… and we talked about balancing science and God…

It’s an interesting trip/life huh?

PS – when I left for home he gave me an angel necklace for extra wings for my plane – i know a couple of atheists and i am pleasantly surprised that they both believe in angels, hmmm….  nice…

108
Easter eve sorrows, 28Mar

Ok, so I can’t sleep, I thought this European time zone was my golden match…not tonight…So going to write this one out…then go back to sleep…

GOD is Good, His timeline, His clock, not mine…

 

Easter Eve Sorrows, 28Mar

I wondered where my sorrows would come at Easter… I mean it is Lent reflection time, right? But the over exuberance I have felt in life these past two months has lifted me on cloud nine times nine… yes worried I am not humbling enough before the Lord…bubbling but not humbling…

My sorrowful reflective moments actually have been there, just not publicized like my joys… but all have been about loss. My sorrow paramount at this current moment (at this late quiet hour), is that I am in the midst, tomorrow, of the fact that I will have both an amazing family reunion, held in my honor, and an amazing feeling loss of leaving this side of family from this first half of my trip…it’s too short of a time, life’s too short!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes, I know I am headed into an amazing second half of my trip with another set of relatives, but this set have been so wonderful and the ones responsible for golden repair to our two continent-separated families… Our 92yr old cousin, matriarch and strong woman, is truly an inspiration…this will possibly be my last time seeing her…as she is 92yrs… oh the joy of meeting, oh the sorrow of going… Yes, Jesus, I understand, you didn’t want to go either…I get that… but you had to… It was the plan all along, you didn’t like it, neither do I… I hang that sorrow up on your cross, my cross… hang it up, no choice….

The sorrow tonight was amplified in the stress that time moves too quickly… at least three generations and I will continue renewed relationships with renewed vigor… with Facebook posts, chats, and connections… the possibilities abound in our future meetings… I remember their laughter even before we part tomorrow. I feel their joy, connecting with me and each other, and I now feel their pains too… now I feel what I didn’t know before, about their losses too – their ups and downs, their sorrows now I place on my cross from their crosses… I get it Jesus, sorrows from others work on my cross too… I hang them up…

I guess we ask for peace of mind in life… I certainly did at Christmas, and it did come by February…. will I get it again at Easter? I don’t know… but if I know God, I am sure HE will send me all the help I need… in HIS time…. the friends, the family, the golden memories of the past, the joys of the present, and our hope for the future… HIS CROSS handed to me to pull me up… MY Cross, well that I will use to carry my past, present and future sorrows and my past, present and future joys…hang them out…a lever to lighten my life load…And use it as a walking stick now to continue my journey…

It’s Holy Week, catch up time, Lent condensed… God’s plan at hand… we get the most joyous Easter gift, everlasting joy – everlasting life, after the roughest time… So, hold onto to your crosses, and be ready… because at some point HE is going to say “Let’s go… Come with ME”.

107
Mountains into Molehills, Travelogue 26Mar
The best thing about being so high up into the heavens above earth is that IT IS CLEAR and you can see how God fills in the rough spots and only the tops of mountains are visible… (these are the Swiss Alps). And that is so true with my life and maybe yours. When we look at things from God’s vantage point, mountains are REALLY molehills, and we can climb them with HIS help… And HE gives us the power and energy to soar higher than we could have ever dreamed. Amen.

106 Know Thy Self, email from the Bishop, mid-March

Hello Debbie,
Blessings and thanks for sending along your writings. I will read them as time allows. Blessings.

On Mar 22,, debbie wrote:
Honestly, I feel my call is in a connections ministry… being who I already am, but expanding that and witnessing to others how awesome God is…

I don’t plan on giving up my day job (yet)…I am a scientist (which pays the bills) and I am known at my work as a Christian… so i pray to make a difference – planting seeds gently… I am the VBS director and UMW president, and newly in the contemporary praise band… I really want to help our church reach out to more folks… the sky’s the limit… so especially while my kids are young, I need to pray on this increased enthusiasm and use my time effectively… but who knows?… God knows… I pray on it all!

I will forward you my whole set of writings… don’t need to binge read them, LOL, it’s a lot to digest…
Debbie

On Mar 22, Bishop wrote:
Hello Debbie,
It was good to chat with you yesterday. You write very well and have a fresh approach to devotional thinking using illustrations like yeast and Legos. I hope you will publish. Have you also felt a call to ministry? Blessings.

105,

Know thy Pastor, mid-March
I have so much report about the conference i attended… but just one blessing to share tonight… I was sitting next to Pastor when they brought up mega churches…and how a lady had to go buy a book for a book signing just to meet her pastor… and here I am sitting next to my pastor whom I know journeyed in his own way… and in addition who personally placed a book in my hands which he inscribed to me…my Pastor “Subarus with me in Christ”… meaning he unites with Christ…awesome… a pastor trying “to reach”… not just “to teach” or just “to preach”… keeping it real…

Smiles

104

Deal with Yourself

After the best refreshing pain-free straight 5.5 hrs sleep, I woke up to Saturn in the sky over my shoulder and a clear viewing of some hooked constellation…unknown to me… when I pulled out the Google sky map app, I found out it was Scorpio… THAT’S ME! COOL!… I never saw it (well never noticed it) before…my zodiac sign… cool…

I find this sight as another affirmation that you yourself need to learn how to deal with yourself... that you should know HOW you deal with yourself better than anyone since you have been doing it your whole life… That was sage advice another friend gave me last Thursday…a rough day when I was overwhelmed with self…

After a brief awake time, I played some total awesome drift away music…got some extra sleep… only to wake up to the haunting “veneno para las hadas”, lyric: “When you’re young you’re sleeping” mmmm… good album – good lyric to wake up to – it IS good to wake up after sleeping…

103
Picking up pennies and people, face up, 22MAR

You ever pick up a penny face up? A lost penny that is now found? What if it is face-down? Bad luck? Hmmmmm…

I don’t pick up face-down pennies, but sometimes, when I have the opportunity, I kick the penny and maybe (50:50 shot) just maybe it will land face-up for the next person… and they will feel lucky. I don’t pick these flipped pennies up… I don’t need the luck, I have ALWAYS been lucky and I CERTAINLY am blessed.

What about people? You ever try to pick up people when they are blue? down in the dumps? Or even at the end of their ropes? You ever try and not prevail? Does that stop you from trying again? With a new person?

Maybe that person, down on their luck, eyes to the ground, is the face down penny… they can’t see you, your hand, your blessing… maybe they aren’t ready to get picked up…

But I don’t think one should give up hope completely… perhaps someone else has the right words at another time. Perhaps the person needs to be face up and looking for help in order to teach up when you come, maybe the person needs to reach their hand up before you can help them.
Perhaps that person like that penny might need a little kick.. just a little one… Maybe only in light touch –  maybe you’re supposed to just nudge them… Maybe a few people will have to nudge them… Then maybe down the road, at a time unknown to us, someone else can come along and find them face up.

Hope.

Hope and Prayer are the most powerful. Action helps sometimes, and the idea that you are willing to try to help speaks volumes…. but it’s important that they know that Grace is already there and free.

God also does some kicking of the pennies and the people… He is there to give hope. He sent Jesus for action. God knows you need to seek Him… you have to do it… So do those face-down people.

Keep hope and prayer alive for those folks, when they aren’t praying for themselves. Keep kicking and nudging those pennies. If you have hope, and reach out, maybe they will flip over and reach up too.

Keep praying… Keep hope…

102
Hmmmm…. Religions, 21MAR
Why do people adhere to religions? Why do people like rules? I have written about my Catholic youth and my lost religion… I have not regained a new religion that hems me or God in… don’t think I will… Now, don’t get me wrong, I like Methodism of what I have seen off it… but mostly I think I like the people… and that could be said of everything on my life – when I have ever left a workplace I haven’t missed the work a fraction of how I  certainly miss the people – I am a people person – always…

SO – why do people continue in their religions? sometimes we continue things in life for convenience – or rather to not have to do something else – for example I pay $1.99 a month for extra storage on my google account simply because i don’t have time to go search through 5 years of emails etc to remove large photo files – it’s convenient and I don’t feel like changing…

Anyway – life is for living you know… why do we choose a religion in life? or why don’t we re-choose – but so many of us do… i was raised catholic by default… and I know so many who didn’t like going to church – didn’t like the sermons – didn’t like the hypocrisy of religions? (definition: the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behavior does not conform) – yeah, i don’t know all what they didn’t like – but i can imagine…. if any of us weren’t following all the rules of the catholic church are we destined to burn in hell? – i would think not… but following the spiritual guidances the Bible shares with us – those are crucial!!!

Hmmmm…. Religions….

101

Sheds, Snow, Be Still and Know that I AM GOD, 20Mar

“Be still and know that I am God.”    I think about that scripture a lot… and yet I’ve always thought that doesn’t mean I have to be idle. I was thinking so much about God, about me, about the church, and about bringing people back into the church… and about the conference I’m going to tomorrow about why people leave church.

Maybe we should ask why people stay in church rather than why they leave church. Maybe people are not being fed with spiritual wholesomeness, maybe they just don’t have time for light church activities, maybe they stay when they really feel connected.

If I hadn’t reached out with my faith questions I wonder how long it would have taken for someone to ask me (in love): “Hey there, Debbie, where are you with your faith?”  You know, I think people really had already asked me that, perhaps I really didn’t hear them talking to me!  An early person to whom I told about my faith questioning said something like: “Oh, you are a church leader… we really are not doing a good job of tending to our own are were?”. But well, it’s OK – no one knew – I know that everybody’s busy… it’s not really anyone’s fault…it’s no one’s fault that we are so busy… there’s so many people to attend to….  If I felt the time in the place to question to vocalize my struggles years before, I wonder if I would have done it. It took me awhile to get over this embarrassment of my faith questions. So, who knows where I’d be now…. it was God’s timing – not mine and certainly not anyone elses…. It’s always God’s timing… God took the corrective action on me now, after I was already well established in my church community, so maybe I’m the one that is supposed to now ask you people, you friends, “Where are you in your faith?”

People say read your Bible everyday, I didn’t… I did certainly talk to God everyday and I had just said to myself:  ’well I get devotions emailed to me everyday… I see God everyday… the bible scriptures seem to come to me while I am moving asking on this life… do I really need to pause to read??? I really am only idle when I write…. “… Well it was JUST then, immediately, that God ANSWERED my question. See, I’ve been cleaning out the shed and talking to God….you know idle hands do the Devils work, right? and for me moving hands frees my brain to think, and to talk with myself, and to talk with God. I had just finished getting the shed ready for somebody who is currently homeless and we are going to store some of his stuff. It’s okay we have some room. But that’s NOT why God blessed me in His attentiveness. That’s not why you are blessed. It is not the good works that cause God to give us Grace… We have it already. God made us human to get work done – He gave us two hands, two feet, a brain and He certainly gave us a mouth.   Sometimes we are to use our mouths to comfort and sometimes to keep quiet….when we know that we could say something, but the fact that we don’t speaks more volumes… Maybe we are to ask somebody everyday “where are you in your faith?”  and then shut up and listen..  I had just finished these GOD thoughts when I walking back to the house… it starts SNOWING! I stopped – cold – dead in my tracks. God, I really stopped, I was truly shaken to a stop… for two maybe three minutes looking at the small precious unique snowflakes.

Stopped IDLE in my tracks… looked up in tears and said:  “Thank you God, for the snow….Thank you God, for listening to me… Why did you choose me to witness your glory? Thank you God… for making me still and know that YOU ARE GOD.

Be STILL and KNOW that I AM GOD.

100

Music therapy has been so profound for me this whole journey… this week alone probably three or four songs… this month probably 20 or more…. this last three months maybe 100 – or more – i won’t get to write about all of them – maybe I will start a separate chapter for them…

But today this song is me. WOODSTOCK

WOODSTOCK, Journey Back to the Garden, 19MAR

Joni Mitchell never made it Woodstock in 1969, she had to get on the Dick Cavett show, it was so important for her career so she could not risk getting stuck there with the millions and the mud.  But she wrote this song for her comrades in song, CSN, as well as for herself: “WOODSTOCK”.

Joni Mitchell is my favorite female artist my favorite female songwriter. I invoke not only my Joni Mitchell hair but I so feel myself in so many of her pieces. I didn’t make it to Woodstock, either, I was born the year of Woodstock, 1969. For the 25th anniversary I turned 25 and my friend Bruce (who was at Woodstock) felt so old…  but that is life – we all join this journey at different times of man.

As I am journeying – everything in this song calls out to me:   “I came upon a child of God he was walking along the road and I asked him where are you going?”   Please read ALL the lyrics below because they really pertain to me – they all so mean so much…

I have met so many “child of God” folks walking… journeying… making their way to Woodstock.. making their way back to the garden. I have connected with so many of them on so many levels…

So many references in this song: “a child of God in a rock and roll band” – yep I know him – I know her – (actually quite a few hims and hers);

“Trying to get my soul free” – we don’t achieve this – we have to actually openly receive this – yes this is Grace – but we have to accept it;

“Can I walk beside you?” – yes, I had to call out for help for prayer for discernment and for learning… the Holy Spirit moves in and thru me… a wild ride;

Getting ourselves “golden” –  yep that matches a Kintsukuroi pottery sermon piece from Pastor – about showing our flaws where God, our Potter, has repaired then with golden healing as an example to others – we are more beautiful because of these golden repairs;

The “butterflies” – yep that’s something my friend is looking for as a sign;

Being “stardust” –  so much stargazing in my life and my essays these days – and the comfort from the stars is amazing – and the dust? yup – for dust you are and to dust you will return;

“I don’t know who I am but life is for learning” –  me me me;

“bombers turning into butterflies” – that’s world peace –  always a prayer;

“getting back to the garden” – a devotional teaching piece that Pastor used this month for my UMW meeting – I thought he meant the garden of Gethsemane but no – the garden of Eden (see, I need education and reflection so much);

and are “WE caught in the devil’s bargain” ? –  you better believe we are!!!  That’s why we are all journeying –  walking along the road back to the garden.

I have always loved this song –  now I know it’s me..

Do you think you could come walk with me? I could use the company…

I think we will get back to the garden – just not in our time here on earth – but we will get there…in God’s time… if we keep walking…

———————–

“WOODSTOCK”

JONI MITCHELL

I came upon a child of God

He was walking along the road
And I asked him, where are you going
And this he told me…
I’m going on down to Yasgur’s farm
I’m going to join in a rock ‘n’ roll band
I’m going to camp out on the land
I’m gonna try and get my soul free

We are stardust
We are golden
And we’ve got to get ourselves
Back to the garden

Then can I walk beside you
I have come here to lose the smog
And I feel to be a cog in something turning
Well maybe it is just the time of year
Or maybe it’s the time of man
I don’t know who l am
But ya know life is for learning,

We are stardust
We are golden
And we’ve got to get ourselves
Back to the garden

By the time we got to Woodstock
We were half a million strong
And everywhere there was song and celebration
And I dreamed I saw the bombers
Riding shotgun in the sky
And they were turning into butterflies
Above our nation

We are stardust
Billion-year-old carbon
We are golden
Caught in the devil’s bargain
And we’ve got to get ourselves
Back to the garden

——–

I recommend: a 1970 live  https://youtu.be/cRjQCvfcXn0 version

and many years later  https://youtu.be/ZEaRuuTKvyM

99

OH LOVE, 19MAR

LOVE is the greatest commandment… Period. You can’t get around that one. Yelling is not the greatest commandment. Cajoling is not the greatest commandment. Teaching is not the greatest commandment. Praising is not the greatest commandment. Listening is not the greatest commandment.

No. There’s only one greatest commandment.

LOVE is the greatest commandment.

When I found the Holy Spirit working on me that’s when I had spurts of spiritual growth. A multi multi-faceted God means many levels of spiritual growth… achieved over the course of time… in God’s time… It’s God’s way for each person to find Him, not our way. Pray they will find their own way… Praise the people who demonstrate LOVE, for it is these people that demonstrate the Holy Spirit. You have no idea whether the Holy Spirit is being successful in already working on people.  Sometimes demonstrating LOVE can be very difficult because we want to shake them into realization that God is good.  But please remember that sometimes the Holy Spirit come in a whisper…. not always with flames and fierce winds… It’s the whisper that will open their hearts open their minds and save their souls. It’s God’s timing, combined with our LOVE.

98

This is going to be my first Easter as a Christian, in spirit and in truth… my truth … God’s truth… now that I truly believe. I want to be at that sunrise service and feel this… God heard this piece before I wrote it – but it is Easter – my first real one –  and I need to feel the profoundness of my first Easter.  Lots of three’s in this piece and I want to be at three services. Arise at the sunrise, mediate at the 9 and sing out in exuberant joyful praise at 11.

I am in such joy and feel so empowered  that I feel guilty that I don’t feel the pain of Jesus’ death – I see His pain – but I feel the joy in His rising…  but chatting this week with my friend who is piecing her life back together from a total crash, I can see her struggle and journey in picking up the pieces to learn how to rise again…  I can also see the pain in my cousin Mike’s life – not his death which was instant – but in the pain with which he struggled so much thru his life – and yet I know he was a good soul…. I can feel his smile in every southern drawl I have conversed with i the last 2 days…and  i know he is cracking up St Peter at the Gates right now…

I know the pain is there for so many in everyday life …..  I pray for them to rise…. but I know they have to rip their own curtains from their eyes and see the glory in life…

Let the Son Rise, 19MAR

I believe Jesus existed not only as a human but as a facet of God here on earth.

I believe Jesus came to save me from me. Why am I so lucky? Because I am blessed.

I believe that we are all so blessed.

Why are we so blessed?

Why did we need this human facet of God?

Why did we need His birth and then His death???

Time to ponder.

Time to believe.

Time for Jesus.

I Believe that I needed a catalyst of change, a Prince of Peace, a Savior..

Yes, I believe that WE needed a catalyst of change, a Prince of Peace, a Savior.

Was it a Savior to rescue us from the world? Was it a Savior to rescue us just from evil in others?  Well, in truth, Jesus came as a Savior to SAVE US from OURSELVES.

Jesus is our Savior from our misguided past, our boastful present, our uncertain future. We need Jesus as God to show us how to rip the curtains that we stitch ourselves, in our own lives, that we use to shield us from God’s plan for us. We mask our truth, we shield our eyes from the brilliance of the Son Jesus…we stitch that curtain right back up…We need to rip those stitches out and see the brilliance of the SON of GOD.

The brilliance of the sunshine rising in the east reminds us that every day is a new start, a new opportunity to do God’s divine work, to listen and feel the Holy Spirit move us, and to witness the power of the human Jesus rise. Three facets of God. Three days to rise. Three ways to affirm our belief.

A new day. Each day. EVERYDAY! Rip the curtains from our minds. Rip the curtains from covering our eyes. Rip the strings we tie our hearts down with. Let them all free to believe, to see, to feel.   Let yourself RISE with the Son. Let yourself free to believe that Jesus rises for you, to feel the empowerment of God over the burdens of self.

We have an opportunity to be of service to God’s will – to use Jesus as an example – to follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance.  We CAN rise!  We CAN rise AGAIN! WE CAN RISE EVERYDAY !!!

We have the opportunity EVERYDAY to say “Thank you God for the opportunity to be of service!”

Every new day a new chance to rise with the SUNRISE – to RISE with the SON.

Every new day a new chance to rise to our full potential and glory.

Every new day can be our Easter – we can believe – we can be Jesus – TODAY!

Amen, Amen and Amen

97

Such an important piece – I love the connection God put in my head about “Cousins in Christ”!!!

Cousins in Christ, Blood and Blood, 17MAR

Yesterday I felt so glad to get some “unfinished” writings out… Because I told myself that I was now going to fill my mind with things that I (with a capital I) wanted to fill it with….that I asked God to empty my mind – and yes He did…  and I did get about 3 hours of real work work done in the morning.

… and then God filled my brain, unexpectedly, in the afternoon with the thoughts HE wanted me to have – and HE filled my mind with actions and connections and LOVE.  Not my mind anymore is it? – it’s HIS…. sigh…  a new normal… I will try to remember this always… I am God’s instrument… tune Him in, not out… God… sigh….

So my beloved cousin Mike died on Saturday, he was mid 50’s… I learned via Facebook (of all places), someone posted on his wall RIP.  I said “wait what??”, I messaged that person and was trying to balance my fear with my disbelief – turns out Mike dropped dead instantly in a bank from a nearly 100% blockage from heart disease – with complications from diabetes and not taking care of himself – which very few of us do….  Heart disease and diabetes and stroke are our Irish destinies – our whole family struggles…

My flood of emotions – sorrow and questions – we hadn’t talked in years – couldn’t get a hold of him – but we loved each other – all my cousins – we love each other even if we don’t connect… we are connected by Grace and by our family tree.

Well, God filled me with sorrow first but then with so much action.  He chose ME to start spreading the news – I have the connections to the whole family – I had to get the word out, as my mother’s generation would have – it is now my generation’s job…    I spent the whole afternoon and into the evening on the phone, only to look up at 7:30pm, when the people locking up work said “it’s time to go”…  I spent the whole afternoon on the phone and email and texting with my cousins – there are 23 of us third generation Irish.  My cousin Mike was an only child – the first one to pass of our first cousin generation. We stem from 6 brothers and their amazing 6 wives (my father being the youngest) – the number of children are 23 AND then of course the marriages and children and grandchildren of our cousins – we have exploded across the US and are spreading family love and spiritness everywhere.  Yes, we are a family of Leprechauns if there ever was one!!!.   So God filled my mind with memories and the love of my cousins –  the best family gift ever!

If people ask where I draw my strength – that is an easy easy answer – I draw it from my family – and there is an overflow of strength…

Oh, I just made the biggest epiphany about my church family…not lightbulb epiphany but big fireworks going off epiphany…

My church family, I love them so much, I just realized they are NOT JUST my brothers and sisters in Christ they are my “Cousins in Christ” !!! God’s love is so reflected in the love of cousins. Just because I don’t know them all yet, and they come from different backgrounds (and I want to know them all more), doesn’t mean I don’t already love them. Our ancestors would tell us to love them even if we don’t know then.

Cousins. Some are distant and some are close. Some are lost. Some are found. Some are blind. Some can see.

Some of us as cousins don’t get connected until God Himself connects us… maybe WE are their connection… maybe they’ll find their own connection. Maybe we just need to remind them that we are all connected.

My mother’s family cousins are in the Czech Republic… I am SO longing to see them… I will see them next week. I will embrace them. I was the one that God picked to make the connection between the Old World and the New World.  God gave me the gifts to make this connection, I simply pulled on a string that God dangled in front of me.

God gave me a ministry of connection. A ministry of encouragement, someone once told me… of friendliness… actually I think it is a MINISTRY OF CONNECTIONS. I will make the connections. I will write about connections. I will connect to my words and thoughts and I will connect my people to their God and all that is good.

Blood relative cousins ….Blood cousins in Christ …

Life is good.
God is good.
God, Thank You for my cousins. All of them.
God, Thank You for connecting me to You.
I believe in making connections.
AMEN!